by Ada Marie
“Travis, I only just started to trust you. I’m not ready to go there yet,” she admitted, knowing that she’d have to tell him someday.
“Okay, we don’t have to talk about it, but if you ever do want to, I’m here. I have something for you though.” He pulled a chain from around his neck. Dangling from the chain was a key.
“What’s this?” Annabella asked.
“I know when you’re home you don’t always feel safe, or even happy. I just wanted you to know that you always have a place to go when you feel like you have nowhere else. When everything is wrong, this can be your safe haven.” Travis spoke the words as if they were a song as he placed the chain around her neck.
“Thank you,” she said, not able to manage anything else. And from that moment, she knew Travis would always be home for her. The one place where she was safe…
Nothing could ever hurt her when she was with him.
Twelve
“What are you afraid of? “ Travis asked Annabella as they sat in his car outside of her house.
“Travis, there’s so much you don’t know about them. Especially Aubrey.” Annabella knew just how vindictive Aubrey could be.
“I’m not afraid of her, and nothing she says will make me walk away from the best thing that has ever happened to me,” Travis told her as he laced their fingers together and kissed the top of her hand. It sent butterflies through her stomach, the good kind.
“Travis, I’m sorry for last night. Travis, there’s so much you don’t know about me, but I’m being completely honest when I say that you’re the one part of my life that has happiness,” Annabella admitted truthfully. She couldn’t believe how happy Travis made her. She didn’t think that she’d ever be able to find happiness, or even be able to trust a guy the way she did with Travis.
“Are you going to tell them?” Travis asked.
“Tell them what? “
“That you and I are officially dating?” Travis replied with a spark of light in his green eyes.
“I don’t know. The thing is, Aubrey, she, well she doesn’t like you,” Annabella admitted out loud before she could even stop herself.
“I know, truth is I’m not fond of her myself.”
“She’s a great person, once you get to know her,” Annabella tried defending her best friend, but in reality she wasn’t even sure if that statement was true anymore.
“I don’t mean to sound like a complete asshole when I say this, but Bella, you deserve better than her. She doesn’t seem to care about your happiness. She cares about one thing and that’s herself. She’s so dead set on you and Matt getting back together that she doesn’t care about the fact that you don’t want to be with him. And more than that, you’re going through something, but she makes it all about herself,” Travis said. He didn’t like Aubrey at all, and if he had anything to say about it, he’d tell her to go to hell, but he wouldn’t hurt Annabella like that.
“She just cares about Matt. She wants him to be happy.”
“But how is being with a girl that doesn’t love you going to make you happy?” Travis asked.
“It doesn’t,” Annabella admitted.
“So shall we go in?” he asked.
She sat in silence before answering, she knew the minute she walked through that door she’d be scolded for not returning home the previous night, and that was far from what she needed. “I’m not sure if I’m ready, but let’s get this over with.”
“Okay,” Travis said, opening his door. He raced around to the other side to help Annabella out.
Walking into her house, Annabella felt all the eyes hit her at once as she held Travis’s hand for support.
“Where the hell have you been all night?” Ryan asked, jumping from his spot in the recliner.
“I stayed at Travis’s. I wasn’t feeling well, so he let me crash there,” Annabella lied, knowing that if she told Ryan the truth, he’d only overreact.
“And you didn’t think to call or even text? I’ve been worried about you all fucking night,” Ryan snapped at his little sister. “How inconsiderate can you possibly be?”
“I’m not a child Ry, I’m eighteen years old. I can come and go as I please. I don’t need to justify myself to you.” It was the first time she and Ryan had ever fought.
“After what you did to your God damn hand, Bella I was fucking worried about you.”
“Listen, man, she was sick last night after she ate dinner, and she passed out. It wasn’t her fault,” Travis stepped in to Annabella’s defense.
Ryan changed his tune quickly. “You were sick? How are you feeling?” he asked.
“I’m sorry I didn’t check in with you, but I’m just fine,” Annabella told him. “Ryan, I’m really sorry for yesterday. I was just going through some things, and it all got to me.”
“I sure do wish you’d talk to me, baby girl,” Ryan told her.
“I know, but there really isn’t anything to talk about.”
“There is actually, like why the two of you are holding hands,” Ryan pointed out.
Annabella heard the gasps followed by the three girls who rushed over in front of Ryan.
“What the hell, Bella. Why are you holding his hand?” Aubrey demanded, getting in Annabella’s face.
“Back off. I don’t have the time to deal with your judgment.”
“You’re dating this grease monkey?” she asked.
“That grease monkey happens to have a name, and it’s Travis. And yes, I’m dating him, because I care about him and he cares about me. And you can tell me a thousand reasons why he’s not good enough for me, but the thing is I don’t give a damn what you think anymore. All you’ve done since you’ve been here is tell me how much I’ve changed, how much you miss who I used to be, and most of all how much you dislike Travis. You know what? You don’t have to like him; just get over the fact that I do. As for you the two of you, you two need to get your heads out of Aubrey’s ass,” Annabella said just as Matt came into the room.
“You don’t mean that. How could you be so cruel to us?”
“How could I be so cruel? I needed you guys, and you weren’t there. It’s time I stop believing that you’ll ever be there for me.”
“But we are here for you, Bell, you’re the one that keeps pushing us away,” Chelsea said.
“Have you ever once asked why? Why don’t I talk to any of you? Maybe it’s because you don’t listen. Until the three of you accept me for who I am now, and accept my decision to be with Travis, I just don’t have anything left to say. Maybe you should just go home.”
“You’re acting like such a bitch,” Aubrey said, grabbing Annabella’s arm before she could exit the room.
“Let me go,” she yelled, snatching her arm back. “Don’t touch me like that ever again. God, you call me a bitch, but all you’re the worst of them all, Aubrey. You’re supposed to be my best friend, but you’re being so selfish. All I wanted was for you to be happy for me. I’ve found a little bit of happiness in my screwed up life. Hell, you couldn’t even do that.”
“I’ve tried to be there, I’ve tried to be supportive, but you blow us off for him,” she said, pointing at Travis.
“I didn’t blow you off. Travis doesn’t look at me like I’m broken. He doesn’t try to find a way to fix me; he accepts me for who I am and doesn’t try to change me. I feel comfortable in my own skin when I’m around him, as opposed to when I’m around you guys. You all walk on eggshells around me. I’m here to tell you that I’m not broken. I’m not a car; you can’t just bring me to an auto shop and give me a new engine to run on!”
“Hey, Bella, calm down, don’t work yourself up over this,” Travis said.
Calming down, Annabella laid her eyes on Matt. She knew that she needed to have a talk with him. He deserved that much.
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“So what now he tells you what to do? “ Aubrey mocked.
“Shut the hell up, Aubrey. I swear to God, if you don’t knock all your shit off I will rip out every last piece of that fake blonde hair of yours.”
Aubrey’s eyes widened. She’d never seen this side of Annabella before, and frankly it scared the hell out of her.
“Everyone needs to calm down.” Ryan’s voice broke in. “Aubrey, Annabella is your best friend; you should be here for her. You shouldn’t be trying to tear her down. Bella, Aubrey just wants you to talk to her the way you used to. Both of you just need to take a step back, and talk this through. Alone.”
“We’ll talk, but right now I need a word with Matt,” Annabella said, meeting Matt’s gaze.
“What’s up?” he asked.
“Can we have a private conversation?”
“Sure,” Matt responded.
“I’ll be right back,” she said to Travis, and then led Matt up to her bedroom.
“Is this about you dating him?” Matt asked as Annabella shut her bedroom door behind her
“Yes, Matt, I just wanted you to hear it from me. I wanted to tell you I’m sorry because the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you,” Annabella told him honestly. Despite the fact that she was with Travis, she loved Matt as a friend. Back home, he was the best friend she’d had.
“Hey, don’t do that. Don’t apologize for being happy. I love you, and that’s not a secret to anyone, but as you said, you’ve changed and that’s just fine. You have every right to not feel the way you once did about me.” Matt said, “Travis isn’t my biggest fan, but I see the way you look at him, and it’s a way you never looked at me. Your entire face lights up and it’s something I haven’t seen in such a long time. I won’t lie to you; I wish it was me who got all your kisses, your laughs, and every ounce of your love, but it’s not. And I’m okay with that. It’s better that I know now. They said that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, and it’s true. I don’t regret anything.”
“I just don’t want to lose you.”
“You’re my best friend, Bell. You won’t lose me. I’d rather be in your life as a friend then nothing at all. “
“Do you mean that?” Annabella asked. The last time she and Matt had a real conversation, he was telling her he’d never give up hope on their relationship.
“I really do. I’m not Aubrey; your happiness means the world to me. And if you’re not happy then neither am I. Don’t let her bring you down. Travis isn’t that bad of guy. I see the way he cares for you and that’s more than enough for me to stop hating him. “
“You hate him?” Annabella asked.
“I wouldn’t say hate; he just had something I didn’t. You.” Matt spoke in a low voice.
“I’m really sorry.”
“He makes you happy, right? “
“He does,” she confirmed with a huge smile. She wasn’t completely sure what it was about Travis, but she’d never felt this way about a guy before. She was surprised how quickly she was falling for him. A few weeks ago, if anyone had told her she’d be in a relationship, she would have said they were delusional.
“Then embrace that. He’s a good guy, and I have this feeling that he’d do anything to make you happy. And that’s all I want for you.” Matt smiled.
There was a beat of silence before Matt spoke again. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“What is it that you see in him?”
“He’s funny, kind, and daring. He’d never admit it but he’s the most caring person you could ever meet. When I’m with him, time just doesn’t matter. It’s just me and him, and that’s all that matters. He makes me feel like all the bad disappears even if it’s only for a moment. He never judges me, or pushes me to be someone that I’m not. He understands me in a way that no one else does, or even can. I’m just Bella when I’m with him.” Annabella smiled.
“I’m glad to hear that, and I want you to know that I don’t see you as a broken car. I mean sure it took a bit getting used to this new you, but I can still see Bella in there.”
“Thank you, Matt. “
“Anytime. Who knows, maybe I’ll find someone to finally love me the way I love her,” he said, his tone hopeful
“Sure you can, Matt. You deserve to be happy, just as much as the next person and I know that you’re going to find that,” Annabella told him as someone knocked on the door.
“Come in,” Annabella called.
When the door opened, Aubrey appeared. As if this night needed any more drama.
“I’m going to give the two of you a few minutes to talk. Listen, I just want your happiness, and if that means that you’re going to find it with Travis, don’t you for a second apologize for that. He’s good for you, and you’re good for him. Don’t let anyone stand in the way of that.” Matt told her before leaving the room.
“Bella?” Aubrey called to her as she shut the door behind Matt.
“What do you want?”
“I’m really sorry. I’ve acted like a horrible friend, and it’s not that I don’t want you to be happy, because I do. I just miss the way we used to be. I don’t hate Travis; I’m more or less jealous of him,” Aubrey admitted.
“Why in the world would you be jealous of Travis?” Annabella asked, shocked. Aubrey never admitted things this deep. She only shook them off as if they were nothing, and then did something stupid.
“Because you spend so much time with him and less time with me,” Aubrey replied.
Annabella knew in that moment she wasn’t being fair. The truth was ever since that night, she’d found it hard to be around her friends because they had a big part to do with what happened.
“You don’t have to be jealous. I spend so much time with Travis because he makes me happy. And whether you mean to do that or not isn’t the matter here; the fact is that ever since you got here, I’ve felt like a burden, a problem that needs to be fixed,” Annabella said. She knew this was a conversation that she needed to have if she wanted repair her relationship with her friends.
“I never intended to make you feel that way; I don’t see you as a problem or a burden. I love you so much and you’re the one person that’s always been there for me. I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I know I’ve asked this before, but can you forgive me? I promise this time, you won’t regret it,” Aubrey pleaded.
“Aubrey, I can forgive you, on one condition: stop being so mean to Travis. He hasn’t done anything to you. If Matt can accept the fact that I’ve moved on, then so can you,” Annabella told her best friend.
“It’s not that I don’t like him, I just don’t get what you see in him.”
“There’s so much to see in him, if you’d just give him a chance,” Annabella tried to reason with her.
“I can’t promise that I’ll ever like him, but for you Bell, I’ll try,” Aubrey said.
“What if we all go out? Have dinner, go to the beach, and you two can get to know each other. I don’t like feeling torn between my boyfriend and my best friend,” Annabella said, shocked by her own words. Boyfriend. She’d never said those words out loud until now. It didn’t seem like reality.
“Okay, I’d like that. I really don’t want to lose you,” Aubrey said.
“You’re not going to lose me; you could never ever lose me. But you can’t pick these fights anymore. You can’t keep putting me or Travis down. He’s important,” Annabella said.
“I know. I’ll try. God, this is not how I expected this trip to go at all. It’s like that weekend we went camping all over again. We were so pissed at each other that we stayed on opposites sides of the campsite the whole time.”
Annabella smiled at the memory. “I know. I have an idea. Spring break is in a few months, what if yo
u guys come back then? And we can have a do-over,” Annabella suggested, wanting the chance to start again. She was trying so hard to hold on to the friendships she valued so much. She didn’t want to let what he did interfere with that.
“I’d love that. I love you Bella, and I’m so glad that you’ve found happiness. I know I’m not the best friend to you, especially lately, but I promise that I’m going to try harder,”Aubrey vowed.
“We’ll be okay Aubrey. We’re best friends, and you’re the sister I always wanted. And I’d be crazy to let you go over one little fight.”
“So, we’re cool?” Aubrey asked.
“Yes, we’re cool,” Annabella answered.
“Good, because I’m starving. And I can’t take you being mad at me for one more moment.” She laughed.
“Well then come on, let’s go downstairs and find something to eat.”
“Deal.”
As the pieces of her life starting coming back together, Annabella couldn’t help but feel like something was going to come rushing in and ruin it all.
Thirteen
“God, you’re beautiful,” Travis told Annabella as they sat on a towel at the beach two weeks later. It was the day before her friends had to leave, and Annabella wanted them to leave on a good note. Most of all she wanted to make sure that Aubrey and Travis didn’t hate each other.
“You’re just saying that,” she smirked as she rolled up the sleeves of her oversized sweater.
“I don’t get why you wear that thing. It’s like a million degrees out here,” Travis informed her.
If he knew the truth, he’d never look at her the same way again. Without extra clothes, she felt bare and exposed.
“I’m not that hot,” she told him quietly.
“Oh, you definitely are,” he argued, touching her face gently.
“Oh, what is it with you and your snarky comments?” she asked him as she watched her friends mingle in the water that she was too afraid to go in.