Paradisal Tragedy

by Ada Marie

  “How could you?” he whispered, disappointment on his face.

  “Travis, I just wanted to protect you,” she tried to defend herself.

  “No, you should have told me and you didn’t. I’m not a child. There were plenty of opportunities for you to tell me. How in the hell could you keep something that is so important from me?” Travis shouted at his mother. He never yelled at her, but today he’d had enough.

  “Travis, I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you…”

  Cutting her off immediately, he pounded his fist on the counter, making her jump. “You did though, Mom. I expected this from dad; I know who and what he is. But I never expected this kind of betrayal from you. You’ve been the one person I relied on most in the past four years, hell even before that. I trusted you to always be honest with me, but you weren’t.”

  “Travis, I’m so sorry,” she said, tears forming in her eyes. “I just wanted to protect you from any more hurt. He caused you so much pain; I couldn’t bear to see you hurt anymore.”

  “That wasn’t your decision to make. You can’t protect me with a lie. God, I can’t do this not right now. I’m leaving,” Travis said, and without another word he grabbed the keys to his bike and walked out the door, slamming it behind him.

  Twenty-Two

  Annabella took the headphones out of her ear as she closed the door to her bedroom behind her. She just returned from an hour long run with her father. It was really nice to finally be getting back to who she was, but at the same time, she was also becoming someone else.

  Someone who didn’t fear what tomorrow would bring. She had Travis to thank for her progress and if it took forever she would somehow someday make it up to him. After taking a long bubble bath, with the scent of vanilla, she went into her bedroom to find six missed calls from an unknown number. She had two voicemails as well. Before she could check them though, her phone began to buzz again.

  “Hello?”

  “Bella, it’s Casey. I’m so glad you finally answered,” Casey told her through the phone. Annabella could hear the relief in her voice.

  “Is something wrong?” she asked, unsure of the reason for the call.

  “I’m not sure; I was calling to see if you’ve seen Travis. We had a fight six hours ago, and he left. I haven’t seen him and it’s getting late. I’m really worried about him. He’s a lot of things but it isn’t like him to do this,” Casey said, sounding as if she was crying.

  “I’m sorry, I haven’t heard from him. I can text him for you if you’d like. But I’m not sure he’d answer if he’s upset,” Annabella offered.

  “Would you do that? Please,” she begged.

  “Hold on for a sec,” Annabella said as she removed her phone from her ear and sent him a quick text.

  [Annabella:] Where are you?

  “If I hear from him, I’ll have him call you. I promise,” Annabella said just before her and Casey said their goodbyes.

  She wasn’t sure what to make of what Casey said. From what Travis told her, he rarely ever fought with his mother, which led her to believe whatever it was that they were fighting about was really bad. She couldn’t stop herself from worrying as she paced around the room. She’d never worried this much before.

  An hour passed and she still heard nothing from him. She just wanted to know that he was okay; she wanted to know that he was safe.

  Her heart began to ache with worry when she heard a knock on her bedroom door. She wasn’t ready to deal with her mom, dad, or Ryan right now, but she knew if she didn’t answer the door they’d come barging in. The last thing she expected to see when she opened the door was Travis.

  He was a mess. His brown hair fell in his eyes. He was wearing a plaid shirt, blue jeans and a pair of converse. His eyes were red, and she could see the evidence of old tears on his face. He just looked like a broken mess. It dawned on her in that moment, that Travis had saved her from herself so many times, and now it was time for to save him.

  “Travis, I’ve been so worried about you,” she exclaimed as she pulled him inside and closed the door behind her.

  “I got your text, and I’m sorry I didn’t respond. I needed to see you though. Bella, I need you so much,” he told her, plopping on the bed and covering his eyes with his arm.

  “Your mom told me you ran out after a fight. Is everything okay?”

  “It’s far from okay, Bella. It’s bad. I’ve never had a fight like that with her before, but I can’t stand to look at her. She betrayed me, even worse than my father.”

  “What happened?”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “It does matter. You pushed me to talk to you about my secret. Travis, you saved me, you helped, and now let me help you.”

  “My father has three new children. One of them was born before he and my mom even divorced.”

  “Travis, I’m sorry,” Annabella said, wanting to take away his every ache and pain. It couldn’t be easy knowing your father abandoned you, let alone had a whole new family of his own.

  “She knew. She knew about that kid, and she didn’t tell me. She betrayed me,” Travis commented as Annabella sat on her bed and pulled his head into her lap.

  “Travis, I’m sure she just wanted to protect you,” Annabella said. His mother was a very generous woman. She’d never ever intentionally do anything to hurt Travis. She loved him more than life itself.

  “How is lying to me protecting me?” Travis yelled, getting off the bed and crossing the room. Annabella never saw Travis angry until now. “How is the fact that she kept something very important from me protecting me? She lied to me, Bella! For four years, just like my dad did. I thought she trusted me enough to be honest with me. I thought my dad left because he fell in love with someone else, but it’s all a lie. It’s dawned on me that he didn’t just leave because of my mother; he didn’t want me either. He picked his other children over his first born and I’m sick and tired of trying to make sense of it all. The fact that she was dishonest with me tells me that we weren’t as close as I thought were. “

  “Travis, don’t do that. She loves you so much…”

  Not even bothering to hear the rest of her statement Travis cut Annabella off. “I don’t need you to defend her, Annabella. What need is my girlfriend to be there for me. I just need you. Okay, I know you like her, but she lied to me. For four years. I can’t just get over that. Not yet,” Travis said. Annabella could see tears forming in his eyes. It scared her. She’d never seen this side of him before and she just wanted to heal his pain.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m here, Travis, I’ll always be here, just like you were here for me.” She spoke gently as they stood face to face. Putting her hands to his face, she wiped away his tears the way he’d done for her the night all her secrets were exposed.

  “Bella, he wants to see me. How am I supposed to handle any of this when he walked out on me, and barely maintained a residence in my life? How do I let him back in when the very thought of him makes me sick?” Travis asked her, in hopes that she’d have some answer.

  “I can’t tell you what to do Travis, but I can tell you that if you don’t get some kind of closure it will haunt you for the rest of your life. You don’t have to have a relationship with him, not at all. If you want to tell him to fuck off, go for it, but if you don’t go to at least hear what he has to say, you’ll regret it.”

  Travis just stared at her as she wiped away his tears. She had a point, and he was curious to why his father wanted anything to do with him now.

  “You’re right. God, where have you been all my life?” he asked, grabbing on to her and holding on for dear life. As his world crashed down today, he was glad to see one thing that stayed the same. Something wonderful.

  “I’ve been waiting for you.”

  “Will
you come with me?” Travis asked, afraid to look at her, not wanting to be rejected to his face.

  “Where?” Annabella asked, confused by his question.

  “To see him,” Travis answered. He knew this would be something he had to do, but at this point, he just wasn’t sure that he could face this alone. He needed something to make him feel secure, something that wouldn’t send him over the edge. He knew himself to know that he was he was capable of self-distracting, when he got pissed off, he did something reckless, and he didn’t want to be that man anymore. If anything, he wanted to be the better man, he wanted to be the better man for Annabella.

  “Is that what you want?” she asked.

  “More than anything. “ He admitted, not caring how vulnerable and naive he sounded in the moment.

  “Then yes, I’ll go with you. Travis, I promise that everything is going to be okay. You trust me, right? “Annabella asked. The whole time they’d been together, it was always about her trusting Travis, it had never been about him trusting her until now.

  “With my life. Bella.” He said as he leaned in to kiss her for the first time since he’d arrived

  “You mean so much to me.”

  “I know, handsome, you mean just as much to me.”

  “Handsome?” He blinked in surprise. The only thing she’d ever called him was Mr. Hotshot.

  “Are you not handsome?”

  “Well, I’m not one to brag, but I’m definitely handsome, in fact I’m the most handsome guy in this town. Not that you need to check that out,” Travis informed her, forming a smile.

  “I believe you,” she laughed. “Are you going to go home tonight?”

  “No, I’ll probably just crash at my buddy’s house tonight; I can’t face her. Not right now.”

  “You could stay here,” she suggested in a whisper.

  Travis stared at her with wide eyes, of course he and Annabella had spent the night together before. Twice, in fact. But it was never once her suggestion. Was this really what she wanted, or was she just being the giving person that she was?

  “I couldn’t impose. Bella, I don’t want you to feel like you have to offer me a place to stay just because I’m upset,” he told her in a firm voice. He didn’t want her pity, he just wanted her.

  “I didn’t offer you a place to stay because I feel sorry for you. I don’t. I don’t pity you. You of all people should know that I’d never do that, especially after everything I told you. I offered you a place to say because I care about you. More than that, I feel safe in your arms and hope you feel safe in mine.”

  “Are you sure it’s okay?” Travis asked, not wanting to get her in trouble “What about your parents?”

  “They both have a career Travis. They get up really early. As for Ryan, he’d never say anything, he likes you and he wouldn’t rat you out.”

  “Then I’d be honored. I just want to hold you. I want to feel you against me, and I want to feel like all is right again in the world,” Travis confessed as he led her to the bed, as he pulled is shirt over his head.

  “There’s something we should talk about though,” Annabella confessed as she lay her head on Travis’s chest.

  “What the matter?” Travis asked.

  “It’s my dad. He wants you to come over for dinner,” Annabella announced. She could see Travis’s facial expression change soon after.

  “What?” he asked in disbelief. The last he’d heard, her father was still dead set on them not being together.

  “I don’t know how it happened, but he’s accepted the fact that you make me happy. He wants me to be happy, Travis, and he knows that you do that. He wants to get to know you. And I know you have every right to say no, but please this is the dad I know and love. This is the one that I wanted you to know,” Annabella explained.

  “I’ll do it for you,” Travis told her.

  “Okay,” she said, closing her eyes against his chest as his hair prickled on her cheek.

  “Bella?” Travis said her name as if he wanted to tell her something important.

  “Yes?” She asked, still relaxing against his chest.

  “I love you.”

  Twenty-Three

  Annabella woke up wrapped in Travis’s arms. She was still freaking about his declaration from last night. He told her he loved her and she said nothing in return. She was a coward; instead of saying something, she just lay on his chest and said, “Oh.”

  How stupid could she be?

  He confessed something that was probably really hard for him to say and all she could say was oh. That was the worst response she could have given him, especially after the night he had. She imagined that Travis was disappointed in her for not giving him a real response. She didn’t blame him one bit.

  Slowly getting out of her bed, she left him to sleep as the sunlight bounced off his skin. He looked so peaceful. She could watch him sleep forever. He looked relaxed and comforted as she began to softly snore.

  “Why are you staring at me?” Travis asked, opening his eyes. His brown hair fell over his face as he rolled over and sat up.

  “I was just thinking,” Annabella admitted.

  “About what?”

  “Travis, I’m sorry,” she said, feeling the emotions ready to consume her.

  “For what?” he asked, taking her hands in his.

  “You told me you loved me, and I just said oh. And I should have said…”

  “Stop talking. I’m not going to take back what I said; I meant it. I love you. I think I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you with those beautiful blue eyes, and these pretty little curls.” He started curling his finger around a strand of her hair. “I didn’t expect you to say it back. Sure, maybe I hoped a little bit, but I don’t want you to say it if you’re not there. I only want you to say it if you mean it.”

  “Okay.” Was all she said in response? “What are you doing today?”

  “Well first I have to go by my house to shower and change. Then, I was going to drive out to see my dad,” Travis responded as he got out of bed and put his shirt on.

  “You’re leaving?” Annabella asked him, disappointment rising inside her.

  “Hey, I thought you were coming with me,” he said.

  “I didn’t know if you still wanted me to.”

  “I meant what I told you last night, sunshine. I can’t do it alone. And I know that sounds selfish with everything you’re dealing with and I’m sorry. I just I need you.”

  “It’s not selfish. I want to be here for you Travis. You saved my life, and I want to help you get yours back.”

  “I’m scared,” Travis whispered, taking a seat on the futon.

  “You are?” she asked. She didn’t know Travis to be afraid of anything.

  “I’m terrified. Bella, he hurt me so much. And honestly, I don’t care to have him in my life. I’ve just had enough.”

  “I understand, and no matter what you choose to do, I’ll support you one hundred percent. I do have a question though,” Annabella stated as Travis put his shoes back on.

  “What is it?”

  “Are you going to forgive her? Your mom. I know you don’t want to hear this, but she loves you so much. I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but she knew how much you suffered when he left. She probably didn’t want you to blame yourself, and that’s why she kept it from you. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but the least you can do is give her a chance to explain,” Annabella said to him, her tone full of concern.

  “I love her, Bella. She’s been my rock for so long, even before he left. I was never the perfect son, hell I was far from it, but she never gave up on me. That being said… She lied to me. The one person I loved the most lied to me. She didn’t trust me with the truth,” Travis said in a disappointed tone. He loved h
is mother more than anything, he’d die for her if given the chance, but he just couldn’t forgive her, not yet.

  “Just think about it. For me. She loves you and she’s hurting too, try and remember that. As much as what she did was wrong, she did it to lessen your suffering. Instead, she suffered alone in that.”

  It then dawned on Travis that maybe Annabella was right. He was still nowhere near ready to forgive his mother, but maybe he could sit down and hear her side of things. It was the least he could after all the times she stuck by him, even when he was wrong. She wiped away his tears when he cried, patched up his cuts when he was wounded. That was so much more than he could say for the man that walked out on them four years ago. Travis knew deep down that he wasn’t the only one that this affected; he wasn’t the only one that was hurt in all of this. In fact, his mom was probably the one who suffered the most.

  “Did it sink in yet?” Annabella asked.

  “How did you know it would?”

  “Because I know you. And I know that no matter how hard you try, you won’t stay mad at her because through everything, she was the one parent you could rely on no matter what you did. At the end of the day your mom is the one person you love more than anyone in this life.”

  “I think there’s an exception to that,” Travis told her as he pressed his lips on hers.

  “Travis, I have to shower and everything before we go,” Annabella told him, not ready to go back to that conversation. She wasn’t ready to discuss the love thing yet. She just started to become herself again, she wasn’t sure if she was ready for love yet. She knew she cared about Travis, but did she love him? Could she possibly be capable of love after everything that happened to her? Well if it was possible, she’d soon find out, right?

  “Okay, go on, I’ll be here waiting,” he said.