The Pregnancy Affair

by Anne Mather

  ‘I didn’t think I’d be welcome,’ she confessed honestly. ‘And—well, I assumed Joel would still be here.’

  ‘He left. A couple of weeks after you went to London.’

  ‘Yes, I know that now. But not then.’

  ‘Linda kept in touch with you, didn’t she?’

  ‘Yes.’ But her reports were decidedly selective, Olivia thought, though she didn’t say so. ‘Anyway, it’s all in the past, as you say.’

  ‘So tell me about this man you married. Bruce Garvey. What went wrong? Did he treat you badly?’

  ‘No.’ Olivia sighed. ‘It’s a long story, Dad.’

  Her father made an impatient gesture. ‘Well, I’m not going anywhere, as you can see.’

  ‘Why not?’ Olivia used his words to try and change the subject. ‘Don’t you have a wheelchair? Don’t you ever go outside?’

  ‘I don’t want a wheelchair,’ retorted the old man grumpily. ‘Bloody things. They’re for invalids. I’m not an invalid. I’m just—stuck here, that’s all.’

  ‘In other words, you are an invalid,’ said Olivia, without trying to be tactful. She knew her father of old. He could be totally stubborn, even at the risk of cutting off his nose to spite his face.

  ‘And d’ you think I want everyone to know that?’ he snapped shortly. ‘It’s all right for you, coming here and telling me what to do. I don’t want anyone to see I can hardly stand, let alone walk!’

  ‘I should think everyone knows that already,’ replied Olivia practically. ‘This is a small village, Dad. People know you. People care what happens to you.’

  ‘Yes, well, I don’t need their pity,’ said her father, mopping at the trail of saliva that trickled from the paralysed side of his mouth. ‘Nor yours, either,’ he muttered. ‘If that’s all you’ve got to say to me, you can go.’

  Olivia sighed. ‘All right, all right. We won’t talk about it.’ She smoothed her palms over the knees of her trousers. ‘I didn’t come here to upset you.’ She paused. ‘Actually Jayne said you wanted to see me.’

  ‘Hmmph.’ The old man relaxed again. ‘Well, why wouldn’t I want to see my daughter? You’re a sight for sore eyes, and that’s a fact.’

  Olivia smiled. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘Don’t thank me. You were always the beauty of the family. And the brains, more’s the pity!’

  ‘Dad!’

  ‘Well, you must know Linda and Martin are running the show around here while I’m—while I can’t.’ Olivia nodded, and he went on, ‘So what do you think of their bright idea?’

  Olivia frowned, not at all sure she ought to ask it, but doing so anyway. ‘What bright idea?’

  The door opening behind them and Linda bursting into the room drowned out any reply the old man might have made. ‘Dad!’ she exclaimed crossly. ‘And Olivia. I thought you were in your room.’ She turned back to her father. ‘You know you’re supposed to be resting. Anything you have to say to Olivia can wait until tomorrow, I’m sure.’

  * * *

  Olivia was up early the next morning. She’d had enough of being confined to the farm and she intended to catch the bus into Newcastle and spend the day doing some shopping. She also intended to find an agency and hire a car, though she kept that part of her plans to herself.

  ‘Couldn’t you get what you want in Chevingham?’ Linda exclaimed, when she heard what her sister intended to do. ‘Andy could give you a lift in the Land Rover. That would save you having to take the bus.’

  ‘Thanks, but I prefer to go into Newcastle,’ said Olivia politely, still feeling some resentment towards Linda for the way she’d behaved the night before. She’d acted as if Olivia had had no right to go and sit with her father. Not without clearing it with her first.

  And, of course, any chance of further private conversation with him had been over. Although he’d protested, Linda had been adamant that he’d had enough visitors for one day. Olivia had only had time to squeeze his hand and tell him she’d see him later, before her sister had bustled her out of the room.

  It was strange being back in the city after so many years had passed. It seemed so different, so modern, the alterations that had only been in the planning stage when she left now making the centre of town a vibrant, exciting place to visit.

  She found a café and, after ordering an Americano, she took a seat in the window overlooking a shopping mall. It was a relief to be away from the farm and drinking a decent cup of coffee again. The instant brand Linda favoured was so bitter in comparison.

  Revitalised, she left the café and spent some time exploring the shops. There were certainly plenty to choose from and, despite what Jayne had said, Olivia bought jeans and a couple of T-shirts, as well as a pair of combat boots to wear around the farm. The boots looked incongruous with the suede jacket and matching fringed skirt she’d worn to come to town, and she was laughing with the assistant when she looked through the shop window—straight into Joel Armstrong’s eyes.

  She couldn’t help it. Her eyes widened and her breath caught somewhere in the back of her throat, so that when the assistant spoke again she found it very hard to answer her.

  ‘Um—yes. Yes, I’ll take them,’ she said, knowing the girl was looking at her strangely. ‘Thanks,’ she added, quickly slipping her feet into the high-heeled pumps she’d taken off to try the boots on.

  She was at the counter, paying for the boots with her credit card, when she became aware that Joel had entered the shop. It wasn’t that he’d spoken to her or done anything to announce his presence; it was just a premonition she had that it was him.

  It was madness but she could feel him near her, sensed the pressure of the air had changed since he came in. She wanted to turn and look at him, to ensure herself that she wasn’t mistaken. God, she was going to be so disappointed if she was wrong.

  But she wasn’t wrong. When her purchase was completed and she could justifiably collect the bag containing her boots and turn around, he was there waiting for her. ‘Hi,’ he said as she crossed the shop towards him, and once again her stomach started its crazy plunge.

  He looked so good, she thought helplessly. Even in a worn corded jacket with leather patches at the elbows, he looked big and dark and disturbingly familiar. His jeans hugged his legs, worn in places she knew she shouldn’t be looking. And, goodness, she shouldn’t be so glad to see him.

  ‘Hi,’ she answered in return, uncertain what to do next. ‘Are you looking for shoes, too?’

  ‘Do I look as if I need to?’ he countered humorously as they stepped outside, drawing her eyes to the scuffed deck shoes he was wearing. ‘No. You know I’m not.’ His eyes skimmed her face. ‘Are you on your own?’

  Olivia nodded. ‘Are you?’

  ‘Until half-past two, when I’ve got to see one of my students,’ he agreed, his warm breath fanning her cheek. ‘Have you had lunch?’

  Olivia swallowed. ‘No.’

  ‘So—d’ you want to get a sandwich with me?’

  There was nothing Olivia would have liked more, but she knew getting involved with Joel again was dangerous. She’d been sure she was so over him. Now she had goose-bumps just because he’d invited her to lunch.

  ‘Well—I was going to see about renting a car,’ she said lamely, and knew immediately from his expression that he wasn’t fooled by her excuse.

  ‘In other words, you’d rather not,’ he said, lifting one shoulder dismissively. ‘OK.’ He paused. ‘Some other time, perhaps.’

  ‘No, wait!’ As he would have turned away, she caught his sleeve and stopped him. ‘I—I can see about renting a car after lunch. And I’ve got to eat. So—why not with you? If the offer’s still good.’

  Joel regarded her consideringly, wondering if he wouldn’t be wiser to just call it a day. He still wasn’t sure why he’d asked her, why he wanted to prolong what could only be an awkward interlude in his day.

  ‘I get the feeling you’re just humouring me,’ he said, and her hand dropped quickly from his arm.

/>   ‘I’m not. ’Olivia’s tongue circled her dry lips. ‘I just didn’t think it through, that’s all.’ She paused, and then added huskily, ‘I didn’t want you to feel—obliged to ask me.’

  ‘Why would I feel that?’

  He wasn’t making it easy for her, and Olivia wondered now if he had had second thoughts. ‘You know what I mean,’ she said defensively.

  Joel shook his head. ‘I assume you mean because of what we once had.’ His eyes darkened. He wouldn’t let her humble him. ‘Liv, I’ve told you already, I’m long past caring what you did or didn’t do.’

  Olivia wanted to scream. It wasn’t fair, she thought. She’d done nothing wrong. Did he think she had no feelings at all?

  But Joel wasn’t finished. ‘If you can’t see I was only being civil,’ he declared tersely, ‘then perhaps we should just go our separate ways.’

  Well, that was certainly telling her, he thought, refusing to back down. But, seeing the flush of colour that swept into her cheeks at his words, he couldn’t help wondering why he felt this need to punish her. She’d inadvertently saved him from himself, hadn’t she? He’d never have been satisfied with working at the farm permanently. And how could he have been able to afford four years at college if he’d had a wife and child to support?

  ‘If that’s what you want,’ she said now, and in spite of himself, Joel couldn’t let her go.

  ‘It’s not what I want,’ he said between clenched teeth. ‘For God’s sake, I asked you, didn’t I? I just never thought such a simple request would result in this inquisition.’

  Olivia sighed. ‘I’m sorry.’

  So was Joel. But not for the same reason.

  ‘So—where would you like to go?’ she asked, and Joel jammed his balled fists into his pockets. Bed, he thought savagely, an insane image of Olivia spread-eagled on his sheets, her silky hair draped across his pillow, suddenly front and centre in his mind. ‘It’s very busy,’ she went on. ‘Do you think you’ll have time?’

  Another opportunity, but Joel didn’t take it. ‘How about buying a sandwich and eating it outdoors?’ he suggested. ‘Lots of people do that.’

  ‘OK.’

  She was annoyingly cooperative and as they walked to the nearby sandwich bar Joel reminded himself that he’d engineered this meeting, not her. He’d be far more convincing if he behaved pleasantly. Allowing her to bug him, to make him angry, would only convince her he wasn’t as indifferent to her as he claimed.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  HOWEVER, the nearby park was buzzing with young people. As well as there being nowhere to sit, Joel realised he had no desire to share the space with his own students.

  He should have thought of that, he told himself irritably, turning his back on the open area with a feeling of frustration. Where now? he asked himself. And could only come up with one solution.

  ‘Look, how do you feel about coming back to my office?’ he suggested, and saw the way her eyes widened at his words.

  ‘Your office?’

  ‘My room at the university,’ he explained abruptly. ‘It’s just a short walk from here.’

  ‘All right.’

  After a moment’s pause, Olivia agreed, keeping any doubts she might have had about the advisability of doing such a thing to herself. After all, Joel couldn’t have made his feelings any plainer. If she was suffering any pangs of memory they were hers alone.

  The City University was one of the smaller places of learning. Concentrating mainly on computer technology, it attracted students from all over the country as well as some from further afield. It had an unparalleled reputation and Joel never stopped feeling amazed that he’d been accepted onto its faculty. There was even a certain amount of satisfaction in taking Olivia there, even if he’d never intended to do so.

  His room was on the second floor, overlooking the central courtyard. Below his windows, a quadrangle of grass was surrounded by a cloistered walkway where both lecturers and students could walk even on the wettest days.

  Predictably, Olivia walked straight across to the windows, looking out with such concentration that Joel wondered if she was estimating her chances should she have to make her escape that way.

  ‘Nice,’ she said at last, turning and resting her hips on the broad sill, and he didn’t know whether she was referring to the view or to the generous proportions of his room.

  ‘I’m glad you like it.’ Joel unloaded the carrier containing the sandwiches and two bottles of mineral water onto his desk. ‘I have to admit, it took some getting used to.’

  ‘What?’ She left the window and came over to the desk. ‘This room—or your appointment?’

  ‘Both, I guess,’ he said, with a wry smile. ‘I was lucky.’

  ‘Oh, I doubt that.’ Deciding she might as well try and relax, Olivia flopped down into the leather chair behind his desk and swung it round in a full circle as a child might do. ‘I’m sure you’re very good at your job.’

  ‘Gee, thanks.’ Joel was sardonic. ‘Your approval means a lot to me.’

  Olivia pursed her lips. ‘Don’t be sarcastic!’ she retorted, and then, sensing he was laughing at her, she pulled a face. ‘Anyway, what do you do?’

  ‘Try to instil my love of technology into my students,’ he replied, tearing open the sandwich wrappers.

  ‘Is that all?’

  Joel’s brow ascended. ‘Isn’t it enough?’ And when she continued to look at him, he said, ‘Actually, I’m studying for a doctorate myself.’

  ‘So you write, too?’

  ‘Some.’ Joel pushed the sandwiches towards her. ‘Help yourself.’

  Olivia reached for a bottle of water instead, unscrewing the cap and raising it to her lips. She was thirsty, she realised, or perhaps it was just being alone here with Joel that was making her mouth feel so dry.

  ‘Tell me what you’ve written,’ she said, watching as he pulled a sandwich out of its container and took a bite. She was trying to divert herself from noticing how strong and white his teeth looked against the undoubtedly sensual curve of his mouth. ‘Could I have seen it?’

  ‘Not unless you’re into artificial intelligence,’ responded Joel, swallowing rapidly. He studied his sandwich for a moment before continuing, ‘I have had a couple of articles published in Nerds Monthly.’

  Olivia stared at him ‘You’re making that up!’ she exclaimed. ‘I’m sure there’s no such magazine.’

  ‘Isn’t there?’

  He was evidently enjoying her confusion and she pulled a face. ‘Joel—’

  ‘OK, OK.’ He finished his sandwich and reached for his own bottle of water. Then, before taking a drink, he added, ‘They were in Hot Key, actually,’ mentioning the name of an international computer publication that even Olivia had heard of.

  ‘Fantastic,’ she said applaudingly. ‘Do you have copies?’

  ‘I guess so.’

  Joel was telling himself not to be seduced by her obvious admiration, but he couldn’t help feeling impatient at his deliberate choice of verb. Dammit, they were talking, that was all. So why was he enjoying the sight of her sitting in his chair so damn much?

  ‘Here?’ she asked, looking about her.

  ‘No, not here,’ he replied flatly. ‘At home.’

  ‘Your home?’ Olivia cradled her water bottle between her palms and regarded him curiously. ‘Where do you live? In town?’

  ‘Now, why would you want to know that?’ Joel asked the question and then wished he hadn’t. He was making too much of it. Before she could respond, he went on swiftly, ‘I have a house in Millford. I bought it after Louise and I were divorced.’

  ‘Louise?’ Olivia said the name slowly. ‘That would be your second wife?’

  ‘Well, I haven’t had a third. Yet.’

  ‘Yet?’ She picked up on that, as he’d known she would. ‘Do you have someone in mind?’

  ‘And if I had, do you think I’d tell you?’ he countered smoothly. ‘Eat your sandwich. It’s getting warm.’

  Oli
via ignored his instruction, her tongue appearing briefly at the corner of her mouth. ‘So—did you meet Louise at university?’

  Joel sighed, wishing he’d never mentioned his ex-wife. ‘I met her again when I went back to Bridgeford,’ he said resignedly. ‘After I’d got my degree.’

  Olivia’s jaw dropped. ‘You don’t mean to tell me you married Louise—Webster!’

  ‘Why not?’ Joel was defensive now. ‘We always liked one another.’

  ‘She liked you,’ said Olivia with sudden vehemence. ‘My God! Louise Webster. You used to say she was boring as hell!’

  ‘I used to say a lot of things,’ retorted Joel, pushing his other sandwich aside with a feeling of revulsion. ‘And perhaps boring was what I wanted. I hadn’t had a lot of success with anything else.’

  Olivia glared at him for a few moments, her lips pursed mutinously, and then she pushed herself up from his chair and started towards the door. ‘I knew I shouldn’t have come here,’ she said, and now Joel could hear a faint tremor in her voice. ‘Thanks for the water. I find I’m not very hungry, after all.’

  ‘Liv!’ Despite the warning voice inside him that was telling him to let her go, Joel found himself taking the couple of strides necessary to put himself between her and the door. He leaned back against it. ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.’

  ‘No, you shouldn’t.’

  Olivia halted uncertainly, her heart tripping over itself in its efforts to keep up with her hammering pulse. It wasn’t just what he’d said that was making her heart race and causing the blood to rush madly through her veins. It was the painful realisation that she was jealous: jealous of his ex-wife, jealous of the child they’d had together, jealous of the success he’d made of his life once she was out of it.

  ‘Look, why don’t you go and sit down again and eat your sandwich?’ he suggested gently, and something inside Olivia snapped.

  ‘I’m not one of your bloody students,’ she exploded, charging towards him with every intention of forcing him out of her way. ‘You go and sit down. I’m leaving.’

  Joel didn’t move, however. He just lounged there against the door, lean and indolent, one ankle crossed over the other, apparently indifferent to her futile display. And, unless she wanted to grab his arm and try to drag him bodily away from the door, she had to stand there, feeling like an idiot, waiting for him to make the next move.