I have also put back on the weight I had lost during my months at the warehouse, and then some more. The only other scars that remain now are mental.
I still hate the smell of coconut and strawberry and I haven’t been able to wear shorts again because my mind instantly transports back to the warehouse. It is also difficult for me to walk outside alone at night, so I try to avoid staying out late as much as possible. I constantly look over my shoulder in fear of someone following me.
My therapist, Lillian, has also helped me so much in adjusting back into a normal routine. Three times a week, I visit her and talk about what happened. She has given me a place in the local support group, where I have met other woman with similar experiences.
Mum and Dad have also paid for me to start some self defence lessons, I have been to four classes so far. I have learnt a few moves to help defend myself from a head on attack and I have learnt how to throw a punch without hurting myself.
I am slowly working on putting the past behind me. The one thing I can’t stop doing however, is staying up to date on the news. I watch it every morning and night and even have multiple news apps on my phone so I can stay up to date when I’m not home. I watch it to check if any more girls get kidnapped or reported missing. I mostly watch it though, to see if Dante gets caught. I pray that one day soon he does.
Apart from that, I am doing pretty well.
I have also spent some time travelling. We recently spent a weekend in London and it was amazing. I spent a lot of time on Oxford street. I took loads of photos, from Buckingham Palace and Big Ben, to the swans in the lake of Hyde Park, and Poets’ Corner in Westminster Abbey. We also went on the London Eye, it was terrifying and exciting at the same time. The view was spectacular.
As well as London, we have also been to Ireland, where, surprisingly, I ran into Laura. Turns out her family had moved from Birmingham to a small town in Ireland. The same town we had visited. We had spent the few days we were there catching up while our parents got to know each other. I was sad to leave at the end but I’m glad she is doing well. I sometimes wonder about the other girls and how they are getting on.
✽✽✽
Soon, it’s time for Christmas break and we all scramble around in a rush, trying to get ready for Christmas. I only have a few little presents to pick up and then I have finished my holiday shopping.
We don’t do much during the holidays, we do the same thing every year.
We wake up really early Christmas morning and Mum makes Christmas tree shaped pancakes for breakfast. Afterwards, we open our piles of presents and showcase our gifts to each other. Once we have cleaned up the wrapping paper and put everything away, I help Mum make Christmas dinner while Dad watches football on TV and shouts at the players. Once dinner has been eaten, we sit in front of the TV and watch Christmas movies until it’s time to sleep. Every year we watch Scrooged, the 1988 movie with Bill Murray, it is our all-time favourite Christmas movie.
It’s a simple and relaxing day, where we get to spend the whole day in our pyjamas with our loved ones.
I always spend the day before Christmas Eve with Karen and her mum. Karen came home for the holidays, she is doing Fashion Studies at a college in Southampton so she has a room in one of the student houses there. She says she is excelling in her studies (one of the reasons why she hadn't text or called me back) and has even started dating an up and coming architect (another reason why she hadn't text or called me back). I am happy for her though so I can't be mad at her.
I even spend some time with Josh, we haven’t spoken much since I came back, we are slowly drifting apart. We are starting new chapters in our lives and I tell myself it’s for the best.
A week later and it’s New Year’s Eve. This year, instead of everyone doing their own things, we all stay home, bringing in the new year together. We each have a glass of champagne at midnight.
Another week later and classes start back up. Karen and Josh go back to their studies and we slowly lose contact again. Once again, I tell myself it’s for the best. I have made some amazing friends over the past few months and it’s inevitable that old friends start to fade out of your life.
CHAPTER 19
Time passes and soon it's April 2019. There are only two months left of the term and then I have completed the first year of my A-levels in Environmental Science and Geology. I don’t start the second year of the course until September. After that, I have another year and then I will get my completion certificates and have a choice between studying for another few years or getting a job in my chosen field. I’m nervous but excited, my dream is finally happening.
“See you tonight, Tay. Don’t be late.” my best friend Cleo says me as we walk off campus.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be there.” I tell her and make my way to the bus stop. It’s Friday afternoon and tonight is the night of my birthday party. I turned 17 a few days ago and Cleo took it upon herself to throw me a party. I’m still not much of a partier but that doesn’t stop Cleo.
“I'm home.” I shout.
“Hey sweetie.” Mum comes around the corner and gives me a hug.
“Hey, Mum.” I hug her back, “Something smells delicious.” I tell her.
“I’m making lasagne for dinner, it will be ready in 30 minutes.” I make my way up stairs and throw my books on my bed. Then I grab a towel from the cupboard, go into the bathroom and start the shower. Once the water is hot enough, I quickly strip and step under the spray.
During dinner, my parents talk quietly about ideas for their next date night. I smile as I watch them, happy to see they are still so much in love. I glance at Dad and take him in. Being a little rounder in the stomach and having thinning hair doesn't stop him from thinking he's a stud. My eyes drift over to Mum. She hasn't changed much. Her hair has streaks of grey and she has small wrinkles forming around her eyes.
“OK.” I say, interrupting their love-struck gazes at each other, “I'm finished, I'm going to get ready for tonight.” I take my plate and put it in the dishwasher and then I'm upstairs, staring into my wardrobe.
I decide on wearing my dark, denim jeans, a black flowing top and my black, wedged boots. I quickly straighten my hair and then reach for my make-up. I put on some concealer, eyeliner and lip gloss, then look at myself one last time in the mirror and smile at my reflection. Afterwards, I text Cleo and wait on the doorstep until her car, a bright red sports car, pulls up outside the gate.
“Wow, you look hot.” she says when she sees me.
“Thanks.” I tell her, “You look amazing.” and she does. She is wearing a dark blue, skin tight dress that shows off all her curves and very high black heels. With her dark skin and black hair, she looks like an Amazon princess.
I met Cleo only a few months ago. At 17 years old, she is doing her A-levels to become a lawyer. We had the same lunch hour and we always seemed to bump into each other in the cafeteria. After months of quick hellos, we finally decided to sit together and we have been friends ever since. I have even told her about the events of last year, which somehow, she didn’t know about.
I jump in the car and then we’re on our way to the best end of year party ever.
✽✽✽
“Hey gorgeous.” we have just got into the house of one of the upperclassmen when a hand snakes around my waist. I smile to myself and turn around, wrapping my arms around the neck of the boy in front of me.
Toby Wilson. We have been dating for almost three months. I met him through Cleo. They have been friends since high school and are even doing the same course in college, he wants to follow in his father’s footsteps and become a lawyer. Standing at 6’1 with dark, tousled hair, dark eyes and a slightly pale complexion, I found him attractive from the moment I first laid eyes on him. Apparently, he felt the same because, after only a few weeks of being friends, he asked me on a date.
“Hey.” I say with a smile as I reach up and plant a kiss on his soft lips. He pulls me close to him and deepens the kiss slightly. A
cough coming from the side interrupts the moment. I glance over and see Cleo standing with her hands on her hips and a disapproving stare.
“Sorry, Cleo.” I laugh as we pull apart.
“Hi, Cleo.” Toby says, pulling her into a hug.
“Can we please get some drinks now?” Cleo says as she stalks over towards the kitchen. We laugh and walk hand in hand behind her.
In the kitchen, we find some guys, who I recognise from the sports department, handing out drinks to everyone. When we all have the usual red cup in our hands, we go back to the front of the house, Cleo goes and finds herself a guy to dance with and Toby and I stand to one side and just talk. All around us, people dance to the loud bass of the music.
“So, are you still coming to Spain with us?” Toby asks.
“Of course I am. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I tell him.
Toby’s family is mega rich. A family of lawyers. Every year they go on a two-week-long vacation during spring break, it’s the perfect time to go on holiday. They go to a different location every time. Last year it was Rome, the year before was New York, this year, they are going to Barcelona and I have been invited to go along with them. It took some convincing before my parents finally agreed but it’s all set up. We leave next week.
“I can’t wait.” I say, “lounging by the pool, cocktails and shopping. It's going to be amazing.”
“Yeah, it is, but only because you’re there.” Toby grins at me, his head inches forward until our lips touch and soon we are lost in the moment again.
Some time later, Toby goes to play beer pong with some of the guys, leaving Cleo and myself on the dance floor, hair flying and hips swaying. We have another drink in our hand and ‘Stay' by Zedd is playing on the speakers and we are singing along to the lyrics.
A few hours later, we are still on the makeshift dance floor. Toby soon joins us and we all dance for a little while longer.
“Hey.” Toby nudges me, “Want to come back to mine?” he whispers in my ear.
“Sure.” I say with a grin on my face.
After a quick word with Cleo and a text to my parents, we are on our way out. Toby has had too much to drink to be OK to drive so we get a cab, going only ten minutes away.
When we reach his apartment door, our lips lock together, I get lifted into his strong arms as he makes his way down the hallway. We reach the bedroom and fall onto the bed.
With him on top of me, his lips find my neck and he trails soft kisses along my skin. His hands find their way under my t-shirt and his fingers trace along my stomach.
Soon our clothes have disappeared, discarded onto the floor. He looks at me then, silently asking if he should continue. With a quick nod of my head, his lips are on mine.
I let out a gasp as our bodies fuse together. Hands roam over bodies and lips trail over skin. We stay like that until the sun comes up.
CHAPTER 20
The next morning when I wake, I remember the events of last night and a blush spreads itself across my cheeks. I look over to the other side of the bed to find Toby sleeping soundly. I smile, watching him for a minute, he looks so peaceful.
I look at the time and see it's only 8:15 am so I shift closer to Toby and rest my head on his shoulder, soon falling back to sleep.
“Good morning, sleepy head.” a voice rouses me from my sleep. I stir and my eyes open slightly. I see the other side of the bed empty, only to find Toby standing next to me with a tray in his hands.
I sit up and stretch as the tray is placed on my lap. I look at the clock which says it has just gone noon. My eyes widen slightly, I’ve never slept in this late before. I look back at Toby and smile sleepily at him.
“Afternoon.” I say to him then look at back at my lap, “What is this?” I ask.
“Thought you would like breakfast in bed.” he blushes softly. He’s adorable when he gets all shy. “Technically, it’s lunch in bed since it’s past noon but that doesn’t sound right so we will stick to breakfast.” he rambles on and I laugh at his awkwardness. Lunch in bed sounds wonderful.
“Are you joining me?” I ask as I pick up my fork. A small stack of fluffy pancakes draped in maple syrup sits on the plate and a small glass of orange juice sits beside it. I let out a small moan as I take the first bite. It’s heavenly.
“I wish I could,” he tells me, “but I have to get a shower, my dad wants me to help out in the office for a few days before we leave for Spain.” he kisses my forehead before walking to his bathroom, a few minutes later, I hear the shower starting.
As I work my way through my breakfast, I think about what to do for the day. It’s been so long since I have had any free time. Since Toby is working with his dad, I know I won’t see much of him for the rest of the week. His dad is a workaholic and he doesn’t mind making anyone else work just as much as he does.
When my plate is empty, I take the tray and dishes downstairs and put them in the dishwasher, then I go back upstairs. It’s then that I realize that I have no clothes, only what I was wearing last night.
I hop in the shower after Toby has finished and quickly clean myself up. When I’m out, I rub a towel over my head, leaving it damp just a little and put it up in a bun. When I wipe the mirror free of the steam and catch my reflection, I cringe. Eyeliner has smudged under my eyes so I look like a raccoon. I can’t believe Toby saw me like this. I laugh to myself as I grab some tissue and wipe under my eyes until they are free of any smudge, then I wash my face. When I look like a normal human again, with a towel around my body, I go out into the bedroom.
“I thought you might want to borrow one of my T-shirts.” Toby says as he lounges on his bed. A grin spreads over my face and I pick up the T-shirt he’s holding.
“Thank you.” I tell him, “I don’t really want to be going home wearing yesterday's clothes.” after I shimmy on my underwear and bra, I let the towel slip to the floor, I hear the sudden intake of breath and I know Toby is watching me. I smile inwardly to myself knowing that I can make him feel like that. I don’t turn around until I have my jeans on and I pull on his T-shirt. I look down at the design and laugh. It’s a plain grey shirt with the words ‘I know, I’m hot’ written on the front of it.
I turn and see him grinning. “You look hot.” he laughs. I smack his leg gently and grab one of his hoodies that’s draped over a chair, I pull it close over my body and breathe in. It smells like him.
Toby’s arms wrap around my waist from behind as he places a light kiss on my neck. “I had a really great time last night.” he whispers into my ear.
I blush softly, leaning my head back to rest on his chest, “So did I.” I smile. He turns me in his arms and kisses my lips, my body responds instantly.
He groans, pulling away a few minutes later. “We should go before we don’t make it out of this room.” he says. I laugh as we walk hand in hand down the hallway.
✽✽✽
“Are you sure you have to work today?” I ask. We are sitting outside my house in Toby’s car, he had given me a ride home before he heads into work. “We could go upstairs, watch a movie and cuddle.” I lean over, kissing his lips softly.
“As tempting as that sounds.” he laughs, “Dad would kill me if I bailed now.”
“Alright. Call me when you’re free.” I tell him and with another quick kiss, I climb out the car. When I'm at my front door, I turn and wave, then his car pulls away and I make my way inside.
As I’m halfway up the stairs, Mum suddenly appears at the top of them, she looks down at my clothes and raises an eyebrow at me. “How was the party?” she asks. I sidestep her and make my way into my room, with her on my heels.
“It was great.” I tell her, “We had so much fun.”
She goes quiet and looks at me for a minute, “I hope you used protection.” she tells me sternly.
“Mum!” I gasp, horrified and embarrassed, and spin around to face her.
“What? I'm just saying.” she says with a shrug.
My parents ar
e in no way strict. They don’t care what I do as long as I tell them where I'm going, who I'm with, what time I’ll be home and I text them if plans change. They also know that I have a boyfriend and although last night was the first time Toby and I had slept together, Mum had ‘the talk' with me years ago, they trust me to be safe and responsible.
Now that I think about it. I can’t remember if we did use protection last night. I just have to hope that Toby was sober enough to remember. I’ll text him later and ask but I make a note to go to the clinic to get the Morning After pill today.
“You have nothing to worry about, Mum, OK?” I tell her.
She looks at me for another minute before she nods her head. “Alright, you know we trust you but you will come to us if you need to talk right?” she asks.
“Yes, Mum. I promise.” I tell her. Then I shoo her out the door and find some clean clothes to wear.
CHAPTER 21
A couple of hours later and I'm sitting in the park with Cleo, who’s wearing her oversized sunglasses on a cloudy day, with a cup of steaming coffee in her hands.
“What time did you leave the party last night?” I ask her. I smirk as she winces slightly.
“Around two in the morning.” she says quietly, “You should have stayed with me. It was an amazing night.”
“Well, I’m glad you had a good time.” I tell her with a laugh. “I also had a good time last night.” I say with another smirk.
Suddenly, her body jerks upright as she turns to face me, a huge grin on her face. “last night. You and Toby?” she grins. My face flushes as she begs me for details. “Come on. I'm your best friend, you have to tell me.”
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