Being Jolene

by Caitlin Kerry

  “And your daughter?” It was now always in the back of my mind. Another person to be accounted for.

  “She spends a couple weeks up here with me for the summer. Since she’s going to be in kindergarten this year, we haven’t really figured out exactly what the plan is. Probably during her breaks for school and a few weekends each month. With school, we don’t want to disrupt her schedule too much so she will mostly be with her moms.”

  The last word threw me. “Moms?”

  “Ah yes. Brooke and I . . . are relationship is complicated and the story is a long one, meant for another day. The short of it is she’s gay. She knew it when we were dating and it ended our marriage. I don’t have any hard feelings towards her at all. I will always care for her but not in a romantic way. She has a live-in girlfriend, Avery, and they’ve been together since Annabelle was two. Annabelle doesn’t know anything different, just that she has two moms and one dad. They’re wonderful for her.”

  Ty’s story kept becoming more interwoven as different strings made their way into the knot that was his life. I was in awe of how great he took it all. A guy who was open-minded and looked like that? A nice package if I do say so myself.

  “Anyways. There’s a info dump for you.” Ty slid back further on the bed. His back curved into the metal end of the trailer. He was right. The situation we had wasn’t simple and wasn’t going to solve itself tonight. It would take time to get used to it, to understand it. We had more to say, more to explore, but for tonight it was enough. I couldn’t take anymore.

  I didn’t move from the couch. Afraid of what Sexy Jo would do once she got on that bed with Ty—that small bed which filled the entire back end of the trailed forcing us to be close together.

  “I think I should go,” I told him.

  His eyes were telling me a different story.

  Fuck. Must stay strong. Remember, this was taking it slow.

  “It’s dark Jolene. That road isn’t fun to drive at night. Stay here.” That sounded like a statement, not a question. I liked bossy, Ty. He was hot.

  “Where?” I asked him. Me plus him plus small bed equals sex. At least in my book.

  Ty gave me a look. One of those looks that made me understand how silly my question was. But he was still a gentleman when he said, “I can easily throw my tent up and sleep outside. You can have the bed.”

  Slow and non-sexy Jo said, “Great. Sounds good.”

  But that was only said in my head. I was too tired and emotionally spent to resist anymore. “No, it’s okay. You don’t have to sleep outside.”

  I leaned out the door and locked my car, closing the trailer door behind me.

  I heard a small laugh. “Worried about someone stealing your car?”

  I slowly walked over to the small full bed.

  “Don’t want any animals getting into it,” was all I could muster.

  I turned off the light and crawled into the bed. The only light was the dim half moon coming through the small window, which meant it was basically dark as sin.

  I felt Ty’s hands on me, trailing over me. I was still in my black pants and top from work. Not the sexiest outfit. Ty took my shirt and un-tucked it from pants, running his warm and calloused hands up my smooth stomach, rounding them behind my back and pulling me closer.

  “It seems every time we find each other in this position, we aren’t in the right mind. After the emotional binging we did today, I think this should be a clean slate.” He said in the darkness.

  I reached for him, trying to find his hard body. It only took grabbing on to flannel and it was like grabbing onto safety.

  “A clean slate?” I followed his movements and un-tucked his shirt.

  “Yes. So I could kiss you again and make it feel like the first time. A kiss you can’t forget even if you tried.”

  It was all the warning I had before his lips were on mine, hot and sweet. I slightly opened my mouth and his tongue swept in, tangling with mine. I tensed my body in the most delightful way as his kiss consumed me and took over everything in my mind. I could only focus on the connections, the touches in the dark. Our mouths worked over each other’s, the texture of our lips connecting were raw and wet.

  His mouth moved to right below my ear. A hot kiss followed by cool air giving me shivers, but he didn’t stop there. His lips coasted down my neck and his beard scraped the delicate skin, the contrast of hard and soft sent pleasurable tingles into my core. I reached for his zipper on his jeans, hardly believing we were still wearing most of our clothes. Ty moved and I was beneath him, his large body covered mine, making it difficult to reach his zipper. It was okay because there was nothing like the sensation of a man covering you and the heavy weight with the skilled mouth running up your body. It was a feeling that was so in the moment—it was everything. It demanded to be everything. And I took it all in, letting it rejuvenate my soul.

  I tried again for his pants, but his hand gripped mine and put it over my head, as he mouth bit my earlobe.

  I slightly pushed him up and broke the contact of his mouth on my body. “Are you denying me sex?” I asked him. Every time we touched, it amazed me how quickly it spiraled out of control.

  He forced his head back down and kissed me on the lips, completely distracting me. “Yes,” he said between kisses.

  “But-”

  “Slow. Remember?”

  I frowned as he kissed me and that only made him laugh. He asked me, “Have you ever made out? You know hit first base and stayed there, not actually going all the way?”

  I opened my mouth but yeah I couldn’t think of a time.

  “I’ll take that as a no.”

  “Maybe in high school?” I mean, let’s be real. It’s where it ended up.

  “Jo, it’s not about the end all, it’s about the journey too. Enjoy this journey with me.”

  “Can I least do it without pants on.” I was dead serious. I’ll make out, but I was still in my damn work clothes.

  This got me a very large laugh from Ty but I was already taking off my pants and then taking off my shirt, leaving me in purple panties and a white tank top. The bra would have to go too. I wasn’t shy around Ty; we already had sex before. Not too much to hide. By the time I was done undressing Ty had stopped laughing and when I glanced over at him, lust was in his eyes, his thumb caressing his bottom lip. I started to wonder if that was his tell.

  I smirked. “Just making out, right?”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Ty

  I gulped.

  Whose idea was it go slow again? Oh, that’s right, it was my dumbass saying stuff like that.

  I took a deep breath as I saw her long legs clad only in tiny panties and her white tank clearly showing her pointed nipples. I then took another deep breath.

  I did the only thing I could, because two could play at this game. I unbuttoned my flannel shirt and whipped off my undershirt, throwing them somewhere in the dark. Next were the pants, leaving me only in my tight boxers.

  “Ready for bed?” I asked Jo. Her eyes zoned in on my crotch, not shying away from it at all. My hard cock was pretty damn obvious. Her gaze slowly moved up my body and took its sweet time getting to me eyes. I was ready for it, the deep lust swirling in those cavernous eyes. I could get lost in her. In her long legs and ample breasts, but those eyes, they took me off guard. It didn’t matter what she was saying or how hard she resisted. Her dark eyes told me a different story. Her perfectly arched eyebrows only added to the affect.

  We both laid down facing each other but not touching. While our bodies were radiating heat from our embrace, the metal of the trailer and the cold outside didn’t protect us much from the elements. I grabbed the handmade quilt and threw it over the both of us. She moved closer in the already tight space, her legs tangling in mine.

  I kissed her again.

  Because I could.

  Because I couldn’t not kiss her.

  We found each other again, our hands moving us along but my mind was barely a
ble to catch up. Instead, I grabbed her hands and put them over her head, holding them so we both couldn’t use them. I took her mouth and made love to her full lips like I wanted to do to her body. I grinded against her core and heard her gasp into my mouth. Knowing I had hit just the right spot, I continued to move over her. Her breath came in short stops each time I passed over her. My hand moved under her tight white tank top and found her perfect breasts. I moved my lips to her neck, licking up it, and then bit her earlobe as I thrusted once more and tugged on her nipple. My other hand left her wrists and I slowly dragged it down her body, caressing her, until I teased her by running my hand over panties, feeling how wet she was. I slipped my hand inside and ran my fingers through her slit as I heard her gasp. I slipped a finger, then two inside her as moved my mouth down, finding her breast. I bit and pulled on her nipple. That was all it took as she tensed and her orgasm hit her. The exhale of her breath after the waves of passion swept through her was a sigh of utter contentment. It was one of the best sounds ever.

  After she shattered, I kissed her gently, bringing her back to me.

  “Thank you,” she squeaked out.

  I laughed. It was exactly a Jolene thing to say.

  I grinned back at her, pride in my voice. “You’re welcome. I think I owed you one.”

  Her eyes grew large and for one second I thought I saw embarrassment.

  Her eyes blinked. “I’m sorry I said you were bad in bed.”

  I shook my head. “Don’t apologize. I’m sure it wasn’t my most shinning movement. I wasn’t sober and I doubt the side of the bar was comfortable.”

  She slightly turned her head away and while I couldn’t see her cheeks flush, I could feel the heat from her face as I brushed the back of my hand across her skin.

  “There’s really only one thing to do about it.” My voice was soft and caressing when she turned her head back to me.

  “What would that be?” A tiny bit of her fire crept into the statement.

  “I’m going to have to make it up to you. Over and over again if you let me.”

  She quirked one side of her mouth, giving me a crooked smile.

  “I’ll let you.”

  I smiled as I kissed her.

  This girl kept me stocked in smiles, a constant supply of them that I never saw running out.

  We fell asleep together; our bodies keeping us warm underneath the quilt. With both of our tall frames, our feet hung slightly off the bed but it was perfect, having her in my arms. It felt right and it had been a long time since having someone in my arms felt right.

  ***

  I woke up noticing I had a lot of space. It took me a minute to remember where I was, but as I felt the rounded corners, I knew I was in my airstream. I panicked, also remembering who I was curled up to last night. I turned, wondering where she was but once I saw I silently chuckled, trying not to wake her.

  You know how some couples fall asleep together, they wake up together and it’s this tangle of sheets and limbs. Apparently, we wouldn’t be that couple.

  Jo was currently as far away from me as possible. Her back was to me and she was practically cuddling with the wall. One leg was curled up and I was trying to figure out exactly how that position was possible. The other part? The quilt that had covered us both was now clutched in her hands, a part of it slung over her back.

  Blanket Stealer. An adorable one, though. I would let it slide.

  I hadn’t noticed because it got hot in here once the sun hit the metal. She must have been overheating. I reached over to her and softly ran my hands over her upper back and shoulders. The girl’s skin was on fire.

  I scooted over and gently whispered her name into her ear.

  She jerked awake and threw the blanket over head, hiding herself. In her motion she also jabbed me with her elbow. I did one of those laugh wheezes as her hard elbow connected with my chest.

  “Are you hiding?” I said through a wheeze, trying to catch my breath from the jab and laughing.

  She flung off the blanket and turned around. “Are you trying to scare the shit out of me?”

  I tried to hold the grin because morning Jo was delightful, one hundred percent not put together and a bit of a spazz.

  I loved it.

  Jo moved her body off the bed and barely missed banging her head against the roof. “Where’s the bathroom?” she asked me.

  “Outside.”

  “Of course it is.”

  She stomped out of the trailer and left the door swinging. I patted the wall and apologized to Betty for Hurricane Jo this morning. I also didn’t feel bad because being in midst of her storm was a beautiful thing to see.

  A short time later, Jo came back and moved back onto the bed.

  “Feel better?” I asked her.

  “I would have felt better on a toilet, but at least you’re not making me run this morning.”

  “I have a better idea than running for today. Do you work?”

  I could tell she was trying to think of her schedule. “What day is it?”

  “Thursday.”

  “I have today off then. Do you work?”

  I did have to work, but I could rearrange things. “For a little bit. Go home and grab your hiking gear. I want to show you one of my favorite place in these mountains.”

  “Okay, I’m up for that. Except for the grabbing my hiking things. I don’t have any of those.”

  “Do you have tennis shoes?” She nodded. “Wear those and workout type clothes. Bring lots of water. If you have a backpack, put it in there, and maybe a snack too. And a hat to cover your head. And sunscreen.”

  Jo blinked and looked at me. “Anything else dad?” The moment the words left her mouth I saw her cringe. It was suppose to be a joke, that I was being overprotective and worrying about her. It was true though, because I was a dad and I did worry. It was my job and I guess I was focusing it on Jo.

  I ignored the comment. Not because it made me uncomfortable, it didn’t. I didn’t have a problem with the role I played as a father but I knew it was weird for her so I didn’t comment on it. She hadn’t even had twenty-four hours yet to deal with the news. Minus the initial freak-out, Jo was handling it pretty well.

  “No, I think that about covers it.” I kissed her on the nose, but then decided it wasn’t enough and pulled her mouth to mine.

  It didn’t seem like enough either but I was starting to wonder if I would ever get my fill of Jo.

  ***

  My phone rang as I was waking to my truck after a few hours of work. I was anxious to get on the mountain with Jo.

  I answered the phone, recognizing the ring.

  “Hey Brooke.” I wasn’t lying to Jo; there really were no bad feelings between Brooke and I. We were best friends before anything else and even if our marriage didn’t work, she did give me Annabelle. I would always be grateful for that.

  “Hi! I was calling to confirm dates for Belle’s visit?”

  “Last two weeks in July right?”

  “Yes and it’s been all I’ve heard about for the last week. She keeps calling it Adventure Time.”

  That was my girl. She loved these mountains almost as much as I did.

  “I’m excited to see her. I’ve missed her.” It was a hard struggle to not be in her life full time. The summers were rough with work and sometimes I had to ask myself why I did it. But when I saw Annabelle’s shinning face and her blonde hair that was the same shade as her mothers, I knew it was all for her. I was following my dreams and making sure I could support my daughter.

  I did most everything for her and never did I know at the young age of eighteen that a tiny girl with such a large spirit would change everything. That didn’t mean it was easy. There was a lot of heartbreak for Brooke and I as we did what we thought best for our daughter, but in the end it always circled back to being about her. I knew Annabelle was in excellent hands with Brooke and Avery. She was one very loved girl.

  “We all miss you. Are you coming down for Evan and
Daisy’s birthday?” My brother and sister’s birthday was at the beginning of July. They were the two oldest in the family of seven kids and they were also twins. For some reason, their birthday was always a reason for the whole family to get together. Brooke and Avery were part of that family as much as I was. Everyone would be there. Almost the whole family. My mother wouldn’t be there. She never was and no one expected her there.

  “Yeah. I’ll try to make it.” Maybe I could bring Jolene. Except my large family would probably scare the shit out of her.

  “How’s the summer up there?”

  “It’s good. Really good, actually. I’m still trying to figure out my plans for fall, but the summer’s good.”

  “Three goods? Impressive. And the third good, maybe the second good, was attached to what? A girl? What’s her name?”

  I got into my truck but didn’t start it up.

  “Why do you always think it’s a girl when I’m in a good mood?”

  “Because it’s never a girl and I’m hoping one day it will be. I love you Ty and I’m saying this with all the love I have for you but you have got to know that your sense of responsibility for the odd family we have is wonderful but it is okay to be with someone. It’s okay to let someone into our crazy.”

  Brooke was right because in the past, I never let girls in. Not that I didn’t get close a few times. I hadn’t found a girl who was the right one to bring into “our crazy” as Brooke put it.

  I thought maybe Jolene could be that someone though. It was all still too new and it was possible I was jumping the gun.

  “It might be a girl. Okay? Does that make you happy? But I don’t know if it’s the girl. It’s still new and I don’t want to rush things.” A voice in the back of my head kept saying that I knew how the summer went. Fast. The summers always flew by and the next thing you knew it was September and you were already making plans to leave. I wanted to take it slow but the summer months might have had a different idea.

  “Holy shit.” Brooke’s voice brought me back to my phone conversation. “You actually admitted there’s a girl. I know they’ve been around but you’ve never admitted it. Bring her down for the twin’s birthday. If you can actually say there is a girl, she means more than you think.”