Visions of Cody

by Jack Kerouac

  JACK. You don’t have to get it down

  CODY. (demurely downward look) But I can’t remember what happened there, man, except I remember certain things…. But I’m sayin like Huck, me and Irwin goin out in the middle of the Louisiana bayou on a particular New York kick—now this is one time, now I’m really—Huck, you remember how he is…so Huck’s sayin “Come on, man, I want to show you something”—he’d—and Irwin—he and Irwin were that way a great deal, Irwin would say “You’ve got to see this piece of cloth,” and Huck’s sayin “Man you’ve got to see something, ever since you been down here I been telling you about it, now you’ve got to see it.” Because what had happened, Huck…had gotten high one day and we were cuttin through this forest vine place, it’s only about oh a half-mile behind the house, really, about a mile, no one ever goes over there you see, and it was an impassable bayou that he’d dug the flowers and the gone colors and he was so high, see, jungle stream, and everythin comin down, and crocodiles and everything in this goddamn swamp that’s right beside. So he’s going to take Irwin over there, so we go on over there, and we lit up, you know, to make it just like we’d do, we’d be sittin there, “Come on, I’m gonna show you this now,” you know…“Well alright.” And so we all blasted and we went there and we sat there, so what happened, you know, as far as happenings go, but I remember that, Old Huck wanted to see those—he wanted Irwin to get hungup on those bayous, whereas, really it was about fifty yards from where we’d bathed every day. And we did see a corner of the thing, whatever he was talking about, anyhow, everyday…we’d go down and bathe. One day June said “Well come on if you’ll take us down to bathe,” Bull sittin there and he looks up over his glasses, you know, the way Bull looks up to June. Man, relationship completely a stone wall between me and June, as far as that goes, see, although I don’t want to be that way, naturally, but I mean I’m not, ah—so like a young schoolkid I say “Well now, I’ll leave you down there, then I’ll come back, say, then I’ll go down and pick you up say in twenty minutes or something,” like a stoop see but man there’s nothing I can do, and June didn’t say yes, or no, or anything. Then we got there, why we sat and talked for a few minutes, and I say “Well I guess I’d better get back,” why, ’cause she’s startin to go down and get undressed there, in the pond, you know, and the pond is right there every day, you lay up there in the pond with the fishes hittin you in the ass, y’know, man they’re a terrible feelin when you’re high, you gotta get in this muddy old swamp water, see, and you got that little embankment there, see, but there that mud on the bottom in some places there, it’s pretty bad you know, and so you’re trying to relax, you know, set yourself down a little bit, and you just about get halfway settled, you know how sensitive you are, and here these fishes start biting at you, little fishes, man, just little things, you can see ’em, sometimes you can’t ’cause you kick up the mud, see, but man, it’s a son of a bitch, we’ve all got bites all over—

  JACK. Who’s goin in there with you?

  CODY. Oh me and Irwin, every day, we’d goof off—

  JACK. What’d Irwin—do—what’d HE say about the fishes?

  CODY. Oh he’s just sitting there squatting, he’s sitting there talking all the time

  JACK. He doesn’t notice those things—

  CODY. Yeah, and I’m trying to lay down, you know, and so, Jesus Christ man, that’s a fuckin high place, that Texas, that’s high, you know, it’s not low, down there, sonumbitch, phew! Ah man, Old Bull I said to him, “Well Bull” I said “maybe I better go out and get a job here,” you know, imagine, there’s no jobs, you have to work in the fields like a nigger, man, with the heat so hot, man, that, phew, and he says “No that’s alright Cody, you don’t have to go to work,” so, I’m there, that’s wonderful, I say to him “That’s fine, I won’t go to work.”

  JACK. Jesus Bull’s wonderful, huh?

  CODY. Yeah, shit, son of a bitch he—he don’t do that no more, I don’t know what’s the matter with that guy, man, every day we’d have to drink one case at least of Coke, half a case or more of Seven-Up, and about a half dozen bottles of various little punches, sodas, see…June was drinking all the time…like that, and Huck, June and Huck both (swinging drinks in)

  JACK. Really blasting it, huh?

  CODY. Yeah, blast punches, that’s right, and, of course, every day, speaking about other things, that wasn’t what I was going to talk about, but I’ve forgotten about what else there was so I was—we’d got all the gin out of the local stores so we had to go into another town to the BIG drugstore and liquor store to buy…the gin and the rum and all that stuff that Bull drank

  JACK. And tequila

  CODY. (temporarily hearing “Nakatila”) No…Oh, yeah, terrible!—that guy, he’d—phew!—just sit there and drink (both laughing, high), man…he wouldn’t do NOTHING

  JACK. Why that son of a bitch, he was in Berlin once!

  CODY. About ten-thirty A.M., man, he’d show up out of his room, see, he’d retire early about eight-thirty, then about ten-thirty A.M. he’d come out of his room all dressed complete with tie and everything, he’d come and he’d sit down, “Good morning, any mail yet Cody?” and I’d say “No I didn’t go for the mail yet,” and so, and he’d say “Well,” and he’d sit right down in his chair, man, right there a minute and he’d start reading his mail, first thing in the morning, reading a newspaper or something, and if he felt good why he’d be talking to June “Well I see Peaches Browning got another divorce here,” and June’d be “Yeah yeah” in the kitchen, you know, right over the embankment is what it was, see the kitchen’s there and there was just a little half wall, so they’d be lookin at each other, and, but if he wasn’t feeling so good he’d just sit there—

  JACK. And he wouldn’t say nothing!

  CODY. In the meantime Old Huck, he’s been out gathering firewood cause he’s used all the firewood everywhere around so he’s packing it, man, from a quarter half-mile away, here he is, Old Huck, Bull would—building himself up, see, and he’s got this terrible disease of his skin, man, what a horrible disease, great boils on his legs and everything, and holes everywhere, no one knew what it was, even the doctors didn’t know, he’d been to a doctor twice and they didn’t know what it was, some kind of skin disease, never heard of, but, imagine, so everybody’s leery of Huck, see, poor Huck, nobody’ll go NEAR him and he’d go bathe by himself down in the crick ’n’ everything. But I don’t know if that’s the case but it seems to me, it doesn’t seem like it’s usually been now as I remember because I wasn’t thinking about those things, I certainly wasn’t hungup on that, but it seemed to me June was the instigator of all this, “Better watch out for Huck,” you know…

  JACK. Yes

  CODY. “He’ll give you that fungus bungus you know,” it’s a fucking thing, but what I’m saying is that Huck he’d have the firewood because he had to cook the steaks, as soon as it was getting dark, you know, he had to have plenty of firewood to get good and hot, oh he was always hungup on his firewood you know, he was always talking about firewood—

  JACK. Huck?

  CODY. Huck was

  JACK. What it LOOKED like?

  CODY. No, he was always TALKING about it, “Oh gotta go git some firewood,” complaining about it, you know

  JACK. Just had the word firewood

  CODY. Well yeah, you know, he had to get all this damn wood…what I’m saying, that, I can remember him several times distinctly walking a long distance under his wood…and also complaining about it…and also feeling a big release and relief when he got to go into Houston and I got to drive him in. That’s sixty miles

  JACK. Hmm

  CODY. Man, and he’d sit down and he’d be talking about this and that, man, he’d be happy as a little kid, he’s goin into Houston to pick up the benny, ’cause we had stripped all the Benzedrine out of every store everywhere around including Huntsville the state pen and everywhere, you know man, and so we had to go, we finally got a place in Houston, dru
gstore where we’d get a gross of it, a hundred and forty-four Benzedrine tubes, so we had to do that every two weeks, go into Houston and get a gross of benny for June, man. Oh Jesus Christ what a trip…. And pick up some Nembutals, man, that’s what that Huck was hungup on then, he was vicious too on that stuff—

  JACK. What he do?

  CODY. Oh he was, ah, ah, how would you say it?—vililifying everybody; you know he was, ah—well him and June really were in the heights of a great feud, no shit, I really think so, because June was always “That Huck”—In fact it got so bad, I can remember, you can ask Irwin, the incidents like at the supper table Huck would get hysterical, you know that never happens, and he’d throw up his dish and go away, and Bull, he’d “Ah, Huck,” you know…. But I’m not digging any of this so much, I’m on other things somewhere…

  JACK. What were you doing?

  CODY. Oh I don’t know what I was doing, I can’t remember man, it’s a terrible feeling not being able to remember what I was doing (laughing)…Jesus was I there, I don’t remember where I am but I think I was there, sh—one time or another, damn that, Oh Christ, mmm…. That’s an interesting question, what WAS I doing? (laugh) What I was doing I think—the reason I don’t remember too well—

  JACK. All I know is what Irwin told me

  CODY. What’s that?

  JACK. About what you were doing

  CODY. What was I doing man?

  JACK. What Irwin told me?

  CODY. I’m trying to remember, yeah

  JACK. Oh, hitch-hiked, from Denver

  CODY. Yeah

  JACK. He said you kneeled on the road in Texas at night—swore, or something—

  CODY. No kidding

  JACK. Yeah, facing each other, he said you kneeled in the road—

  CODY. Oh I remember now, but that’s not what it was, except some understanding

  JACK. Some understanding…

  CODY. Yeah

  JACK. To understand…some understanding to understand

  CODY. Yah. We WERE very high. Yeah. Ah, yeah

  JACK. Well why did he shoot, why did he let go a blast of the shotgun at all?

  CODY. I dunno

  JACK. You don’t know why, you just looked up and he was ba-lasting away

  CODY. He didn’t care, yeah

  JACK. But he’s sitting on the porch and then he suddenly…shot the gun

  CODY. Yeah—but he shot it, a time or two before…

  JACK. Oh I see

  CODY. He’d shoot an armadillo, you know, just something to play with (to baby): Hey kid aren’t you ever going to bed?…it’s past your bedtime man, you been sitting there staring at that light for three hours! I wonder what you—hey he hasn’t done nothing but stare at that light for three hours—what are YOU thinking about man?

  JACK. Why he’s high

  CODY. He just lays there…what’s the matter with you son? That’s all he wants to do is look at that light. Ain’t that crazy? Look at that fuck-in light man, every time I look at it it just looks like this to me (covering up)…it’s too strong. Look right into that light like he does, Jee-sus

  JACK. I could look at it all night

  CODY. It’s terrible

  JACK. Well after awhile that would really—be a lot of fun—

  CODY. Yeah. YEAH I’ll say, look at that. Man!

  JACK. Just do that all night, looking into the light

  CODY. And he’s relaxed, see, and he’s just looking at it

  JACK. See, it isn’t strong…it just opens up your eyes further, your irises

  CODY. Yeah that’s right…that’s right, yeah

  JACK. But he looks away from it once in a while doesn’t he?

  CODY. He doesn’t seem to—wal, I guess he is

  JACK. Well, that’s harder than staring into it all the time, you know, it’s…refocus and focus…

  CODY. He’s getting his eye exercises see

  JACK. He knows what he’s doin

  CODY. Goddamn right. Well lookit man, I’m gonna change your pants and put you to bed, right? He is a weird kid, weirdest kid I ever seen. What the hell did I do with my—Oh damn it, where’d I put it boy? You see I’m high!

  JACK. Diaper? Wh—?

  CODY. The—the pin

  JACK. Hey there it is!

  CODY. Ah here it is—yet, there was two pins. Here it is…(mumble). Well, what are you saying?

  JACK. I said YOU never told me what you did in Texas

  CODY. No

  JACK. See. All I know is what Irwin said

  CODY. Yeah. Goddammit what did he say?

  JACK. He said that when you were driving…across Houston you told some…(pause). That’s one thing I don’t know what the hell

  CODY. Yeah. Well I’ll tell you man, the interesting thing about this stuff is I think the both of us are going around containing ourselves, you know what I mean, what I’m saying is, ah, we’re still aware of ourselves, even when we’re high

  JACK. Well I feel like an old fool

  CODY. Is that it? Yeah…yeah. That’s very good…I feel, ah, man, what do I feel? I…yeah…I feel very foolish

  JACK. Hee hee feel foolish…but you still feel like a YOUNG fool

  CODY. Well…I’ve been an old man, Jack, in Watsonville, and my eyes going bad, and my…yeah…Well I feel like a middleaged fool

  JACK. You do?

  CODY. Yeah. But I know I’m very young kid—type—in fact sometimes it might even occur to me to worry about it—but I haven’t ever yet. You know. Man, I kinda dig you as a young kid type too you know

  JACK. What?

  CODY. I kinda dig you as a young kid type, like myself. But anybody else digging us thinks we’re young kids but not you so much ’cause you’re dark but I’m light complexioned so I look like a young kid all the time. But I never thought of that as—anything to worry about…(pause). Well I’ll tell you this, I don’t feel very intelligent…any more, at times, for a long time…. When I get high I feel—

  JACK. That has two meanings

  CODY. Yeah? Well—

  JACK. I mean intelligent

  CODY. I don’t feel able, capable of the work, the effort, not the effort itself, I go through a lot of effort, you’ve seen me man, I’ve been on my feet here for sixteen hours. I—

  JACK. You can’t keep something up

  CODY. I can’t write it, I can’t say, I can’t, ah, you know, I mean, I’m—I can’t get anything personally done like that

  JACK. Yeah

  CODY. I can’t even get arr—…and when I’m high, shoo, I realize, that it doesn’t have to matter—now you drank water, see, you RUINED that—our mouth is so dry and so—aren’t they—that you ruined it with some water and I didn’t catch you till just now. And here’s what I’m gonna do, see, I was going to open this up, see? ’Cause our mouths is so dry

  JACK. Oh gee. Well isn’t there a roach? (pause) Go ahead

  CODY. Well that’s a—that’s a—how many did we smoke man? how many you think?

  JACK. I shouldn’t have drank that water, that’s all

  CODY. That’s the only thing, that’s right. Well we’ll smoke some more in a minute here but I gotta put this kid to bed, see, I’ve been hungup an hour, I’ll be RIGHT down in two minutes, or less than that possibly

  (THE END)

  JIMMY. (corning over telephone) You know where that’s at?

  JACK. Wait a minute. (to Cody, blanking mouthpiece) He wants you to pick him up there

  CODY. Yeah?

  JACK. Course not right away, really

  CODY. Yeah? Tell him, what—

  JACK. Hello?

  JIMMY. Yeah!

  JACK. Now, we’ll try to give it to Cody now, Forty-three—

  JIMMY. Forty-SIX

  JACK. Forty-six

  JIMMY. Eighty-three

  JACK. Wah?

  JIMMY. Forty-six eighty-three…Seventeenth Street

  JACK. Forty-six A?

  JIMMY. No forty-six—alright now, four…six…eight…th
ree…

  JACK. Yeah

  JIMMY. Forty-six eighty-three Seventeenth Street…

  JACK. Four six eight three Seventeenth Street (to Cody)

  CODY. What time?

  JACK. What time, Jimmy?

  JIMMY. Well, what time—what time is it convenient for YOU?

  JACK. Oh I dunno, I guess any time. Immediately? Or you want to wait?

  JIMMY. Make it easy on yourself, man, you know, easy does it

  JACK. Well, what are you doing there?

  JIMMY. I’m…visiting my daughter, you know, I’m—I have a lot of fun here

  JACK. Oh you’re having a lot of fun?

  JIMMY. Oh with my kiddie, sure

  JACK. Oh we might as well wait a while, huh?

  CODY. Yeah. Ah, we’ll be up there within an hour