Visions of Cody

by Jack Kerouac

  CODY. And he doesn’t want to go anywhere else, really, and he knows it. (silence) That’s what’s gonna happen to him

  JACK. And Irwin, nothing’ll happen to him either

  CODY. No, he’s so afraid and calculating—

  EVELYN. He’s cautious

  CODY.—yes, very cautious, why when I was in New York there I said…we was in this, this girl, this Josephine’s house, there and everything, we was in the bathroom, everything locked up tight and the windows all shaded and everything, you know, nobody in there to—nobody in the house, in the front room or nothin, just us, and we’re sitting in there, and I got a roach and I’m blastin it, he says “Not so loud! not so loud!” you know (laughter) and everything…(the end)

  FIFTH, FINAL NIGHT ____________________

  CODY. (singing, testing tape, laughing) Ehhh…Uncle Joe Williams and his octet(laughing)…. Phew! Ahhh…I need a cigarette, Ma-a-a…. Huh, do you want one?…Ah so we came over the George Washington Bridge, in the early morning d-a-w-n, (laughing, long pause). And there we were…we were—we were all very tired, we went to Vicki’s. (Jack flutes) And had a little difficulty waking her up and getting…. (Jack flutes) (slammings of icebox) And then……

  EVELYN. Then what?

  CODY…. getting her downstairs, and the thing started. We were up to her a few minutes and, ah, then Huck said he was tired so he stayed there, and Bull and I went down to the point of the Bowery, ah, way below the Bowery, to…a chemical outfit down on the Battery I guess, and, ah—turn up the music there—and then the, ah…I had to double park while he was in there and he was gone about an hour, see…and got this chemical outfit, this…Bunsen burner (Jack flutes), curlicued glass tubes, you know, and curly s’s, curly z’s I guess, and, ah, oh (sighing loudly) we had to unpack ’em…(laughing)…and ah, we never really started to set them up, we—we went that night because, ah, we found June that afternoon, she told us that, ah, that they’d picked her up in the—in the railroad train, practically when she got off the train almost as though they were looking for her, which they weren’t of course, but she was just walking around in that turrible dress of hers with Julie, and this old woman must have turned her in or something and the…detectives picked her up, and they took her to Bellevue, and she was there for an hour or two, three, four hours, and she was talking to the attendant there at Bellevue, the man who registered—the manager, the…something, you know, Bellevue, and, and she said “Well, my husband of course belongs to the University Club,” and he said “Wha, what, what? Well? What? the University Club well, well my!” and he conferred with his colleague you know, and he said “Well Mrs…. Mrs. ah Hubbard, ah, we’re very sorry that all this has happened, where could our driver take you?”…she said “Well, better take me back down to the depot, to the train depot, my husband’s supposed to meet me there, he must be a little late, he drove up.” So when we found her…someplace else but anyhow we found her…but no! I do believe that was the arrangement that they’d made, believe it or not, Bull said “Well I’ll see you up there at the depot, when you get off the train we’ll meet you up there,” and ah, and she said, “Alright I’ll wait on the—on the Forty-first Street side” or something like that, and so (laughing), they, I think in fact I remember exactly that was it, because we went out—goin into this Pennsylvania Station, Thirty-fourth Street, see—but at any rate, ah, so we had—we went over on the West Side there in the Fifties by Eighth Avenue, oh about Forty-seventh and Eighth, and…rented a room right in there and Harper came up very first night and turned Bull on, you know, and Bull hadn’t had any junk in about six weeks except that paregoric that he’d been melting down, you know. Well man, so all his problems and everything was over, and June of course was having to struggle along and take care of everything, you know, and, and I’d take her out on Times Square there in that horrible dress, man, and I was, me, imagine!—ashamed to walk with her, believe it or not, and I’d—rarely I feel—but I really dug it though when we went into the cafeteria there and everybody dug her but she just flipped along; she knew it too, but you know, she was just so, ah, she took it, you know; so, ah, because we had to go out to buy a…can of milk for the baby, see only it was a half-can, cause it was a, ah—you know, so, ah, she got it in half-cans, ’cause Bull and Harper—and man, Harper, he’s on his veins anyway you know and he can’t get it in I remember, and ah, then they—Oh, they stay there and talk for a long time, in fact I think Bull went out with Harper after; it seems to me Huck and me—no Huck, yeah I think Huck…well I don’t know what happened…that night; but anyhow (Evelyn laughs, says, What were you on?)…probably…I was on Nembutals and tea…. (tittering laff) Remember that tea? it was always great, you know; and oh that’s it! the next day Huck and me went up to sell the tea, Bull said—see he’s all hungup on junk now—so he’s sayin “Here Huck, here’s the tea you go out and sell it,” though he didn’t give him the tea, but he said “Here’s a sample, go up to some of the…guys you know, the bellhops and everything” so here’s Huck and me, I’m driving, and Huck’s cuttin in to see the bellhop—there’s one hotel up around Fifty-eighth and in there and the West Side again and th—the bellhop said “Yeah,” and ah, so he went in and he sampled that stuff that Huck gave him, and he came back out, said “Ough man, that’s awful, that’s green tea,” he says, “that’s no good, it’s not even cured, Oh Jesus, it’s terrible shit,” and all that you know, and, yeah, well that’s not so—and, you know, of course he might have—Bull, that particular (laughing), what I’m saying it got us high alright, we must have blasted green tea all the time, there was this…bellhop, no kiddin, he wouldn’t pick up…although he wanted some—and that’s all the incident there that I can recall. In the meantime I was always an errand boy going all around up and down in and out, and so the next three or four days we drove all over clear into New Jersey to—clear to Orange and West Orange, South Van-broy and every place (laughter) you know, no kiddin, all over I’m telling you, and, looking for places and all over Newark and in and out and up and down and weavin up in the Bronx. So about that time, second or third day, Huck by this time was having—he and Vicki weren’t getting along so good you know and Vicki was hungup anyhow on account of Huck couldn’t keep cuttin in and out there, so he went down the Village to see this Stephanie James accidentally he ran into her or something and so man right away he latched on down there, see—so Stephanie said “Yeah, I’ll sell the tea for you Bull,” and so Bull come over I’d say about the second or third night, so I drove Bull over to this Stephanie’s at Second or Fourth—right across the street from the police station, too, right there on—in the Village, it was over near the, ah, the West Side Highway there by the viaduct, Hudson Street it was, yeah Hudson, and ah, so ah, we went up there and she was…real knocked out boy, she was ah, you know, on, ah, Nembutals and everything, but, and on junk too, she started taking junk right at this time, and also tea, see? and she was an entertainer in a joint over in Brooklyn, playing the piano, or the bass, or somethin, see

  EVELYN. She’s the one who gave you the records isn’t she?

  CODY. Yeah and she gave me all those records, that’s right—yeah she laid all these—when she left me, she was real high that night and she said “That’s no good,” she’d play it and she’d say “That’s no good,” she would give me that Lionel Hampton, some old Lionel Hampton, see, and she’d say “That’s no good,” she’d give me that, she cleaned out her whole file to give me all those records I brought back, and, ah, and I…dug ’em too, same with how she was diggin ’em but ah, any rate, ah, we go up there and Bull…sittin in the chair, you know, and ah, Stephanie over on the bed there, and Huck squattin around on the floor playing the record and, ah, I was sittin there, and we all blasted, and we blasted, she had a real…cool pad, it was real…cool light and everything…. Well so about the second day I mention to her, ah, if she knew this Vicki and she said “Oh yeh, well say—” Huck, of course, you know, both of them—so about the second day she said “Well
why don’t you bring this Vicki down?” see, well Vicki was trying to move out of her place, she was all hungup, so I brought her down, Vicki got all excited ’cause she wasn’t dumb about those sort of things, so naturally (sniff) soon as she got down there she started layin it all on this gal, you know, and so the next morning I had to go up and get all Vicki’s things in the jeep, bring ’em all down, you know—And I remember Vicki and I talking about you, you know, I say “Well Vicki I got a real good gal out West, you know, and everything, soon as I get some money I’m going to go out there,” and she said “Well that’s cool, that’s cool,” and I’m saying…I’m saying, ah, you know “She’ll pick up with me though I guess” and she says, “Well, long as she’s a head, you know, course I get my migraine headaches, you know, my high b—my—but I’m telling you this last bunch of tea I’m smoking knocks the headache right out, you know” she said, she’s hungup on headache and also “Meet me on a Hundred and first,” she lived on Ninety-ninth but there’s a guy hangin around or a cop or something, so she was afraid to stand out in front of there if he come up and anything like that, see. All the time I had tea or something in the car, you know—so, I remember one night for some unknown reason or something, I was going to a show or something like that which…I can’t understand, but I had that whole…ah, two jars, two Mason jars? quart Mason jars full of tea? and, ah, it was in this open jeep you know that you can’t lock, and so I parked her right there by my lot on, on Eighth and Forty—and Thirty-fourth, by the Hotel New Yorker there where I used to work, and I asked a policeman to please watch it, you know, the cop see, and I’m high and I’m cuttin up to the cop, see, and I’m saying “I say officer, I’m worried about the—my jeep here, I’m worried about it, I’m goin to the show or something you know, and everything, and ah”—He said “Oh I’ll watch it, I’ll keep an eye on it, kid, don’t worry”—(laughs). Phew! (laughter) So, anyhow, so, ah, they, they’d have done that two or three—in the meantime, ah, Huck and I, occasionally Huck would rissle up, rustle up a dollar or two, and the World Series was going on, you know, so I’d spend most of my afternoons in the bar watching the World Series; and, ah, Huck finally got a room, opposite the fire station on Forty-seventh and Eighth, right in there again, ri—right in there, see, and ah, so I slept with Huck couple nights there, you know, and ah, he had that skin disease—he laid the money—and June and Bull were in the same room, some little tiny room, they didn’t have a cent…for any reason or any kind or any anything…Harper, actually, it was Harper I think who was laying out the dollar or two, every day, see? So, about the fifth or sixth day, why, everything was getting pretty frantic, and, ah, I was spending my time between here and there and up and down, you know, in fact that’s when I stayed with, ah, Harold Ginsberg down in the Village with Huck, you know, we finally stayed down there three or four nights with him, two or three, one or two—and then, ah,…and then…ah, we was all, down in—and then Bull sold his tea…finally…Stephanie made the connection, and he sold it all for a hundred dollars, on a fifth floor flat room that I couldn’t go up, I stayed down in front, see? and Bull, Bull went up and I think Huck went up with him; he sold it to four dagos, for a hundred dollars, the tea, see? So they had some money, and ah, so he bought some junk and everything, and ah (laughter)—that’s right, he did, yeah, he really did, that’s right, because I remember, well let me tell you—so held this new supply of junk, and in the meantime he’s making connections with Harper, I think Harper was…pushin a little or somethin but anyhow I’d always have to go down to Twenty-third and Eighth and Harper he’d go in there and see a few fellows and I know it wasn’t for junk ’cause he had some, see, so he might have been pushing just a little bit to a couple of his friends, see, a little bit, one or two—Well anyhow, so ah, we’re down at Stephanie’s one day, by now everybody was getting on everybody’s nerves, nobody liked each other, you know; and Vicki and Stephanie didn’t get along anyhow, and Huck and Steph—course Huck really knew how to cut around, say “Oh nothing bothers me,” and everything you know, so he was staying out of harm’s way more or less you know, course I wasn’t involved at all, and ah—but at any rate, there was a definite rupture and break there, finally it happened when I called up—Bull said “Well call up this Stephanie now,” at eleven o’clock in the morning see, I called up, she said “Goddamn you”—she’d got high on Nembutals the night before you know or something and, and ah, so she was laying there all doped up see for twenty-four hours so when I woke her up right in the middle of that sleep I had to let the phone ring three or four hours, you know, couldn’t let—Bull had to see her or something—so she said “You and that Hubbard,” and “Stay away” and all that see, “Don’t ever come—” so Bull, we never went back, see—but, when that happened, before that happened, or something, one day there was a house painter who was a real square, see, but he knew Stephanie, so he was up to Stephanie’s there, and ah, so, he also knew Vicki or something or other, ah and—from old days—and—but he’d got married in the meantime to a Catholic girl, a religious dago-type girl, only she was Catholic—well not only, but I mean—besides—n—she is not dago-type because she’s Catholic, that’s what I’m trying to say, (EVELYN, Hmm) but she is dago-looking, that’s what I’m saying; and he was a painter, and he worked on the George Washington Bridge for four years now paintin it back and forth, see, he’s done it two and a half times, see, (Evelyn laughs) and—yeah!—and—but he’s a square, and he lives up in the Bronx! So he said—he invited Bull, June, the baby and me to come up and live with him, and he had a two or three room place, imagine, so we accepted—

  EVELYN. (laughing) Course!—

  CODY. Moved everything up there—imagine this now!—goin up that East Side highway and go to the Bronx up there and everything, and these…other girls even more square, the…religious girl, you know, and the baby—and they’re having trouble any-how, and invited them up just out of the kindness of his heart mostly, you know, like I’d—you know, but I’m trying to say (sniff), so the first day we’re there—

  (TAPE INTERRUPTED BY THREE MINUTES OF ED WILLIAMS THE FRISCO HIPSTER ON AN EVENING WHEN CODY IS BRAKING DOWN THE LINE FOR THE RAILROAD IN STORMS)

  JACK. (whispering) Jimmy! (handing microphone to him on sly)

  ED. (talking in background to Evelyn)…though parts of the center are—but most of it is pretty dark and, ah, tangled…

  EVELYN. Uh huh, and the way he did it, too

  ED. Hm hmm…but even the fact that it is—in drawing that type of—I doubt is—aren’t as good…it indicates a, ah, that there is still a, ah, like there’s still, ah, you know, and it’s, it’s (pointing at drawing, gesturing over it) still a unit, you know, it’s sort of warped and confused a little here and there, but, it still is, ah, you know, a oneness, it isn’t completely broken up, it isn’t like a schizophrenic…split, or anything like that, you know—

  EVELYN. Oh not at all pretty solid, really (laughing like Irene Dunne in an old Cary Grant comedy)

  ED. Yeah, mi—mine are always—ah, mine are fairly schizoid JACK. (singing) “Just…one…of those things…”

  ED. Ah, there’re mandalas, you know, like that (EVELYN, Hmm)…you know, psychic drawings but they’re ah—

  EVELYN…. Rorschach…

  ED. No that’s a—that’s a different type of painting, that’s something else, this is what Jung—I’m talking through Jung now—

  FRANK SINATRA. (on the radio, loud, turned up by Jack) “Lover…when we’re dancing…keep on glancing…in my eyes…” (Evelyn laughs)

  JIMMY. Well now tell me some more about my artistic efforts here, ah—

  ED. Well I mean I’m talking about your personality (Jimmy’s finger drawings like little Emily’s at nursery school)…your personality, from that, is—Well just a moment

  JIMMY. What?

  ED. Yeah. I’m getting ready to tell you something (finding a paper in his pocket) (unfolding it crinkly) Like…your personality is pretty…surface…it’s the same…in fron
t of you, see…and like there are a few sort of connections and now and then with your real self, your center (pronounced like “sinner”), mostly you’re out on the outside of yourself, you’re pretty well externalized…. Ah…. What would you say were, ah…four directions, or four sides or four something of your personality…like, ah, four, four words that inc—that would, ah, ah, include all the…parts of your—of your, ah, makeup…. Ah, words on the order of, ah—

  (TAPE RESUMES WITH CODY WHO HAS TOLD HOW HUBBARD ALMOST DIED TAKING AN OVERDOSE SHOT AT THE HOME OF THE WASHINGTON BRIDGE PAINTER AND LAY PALE AND SWEATING ON THE CHAIR AS EVERYBODY RAN AROUND FRIGHTENED)

  CODY.—the fact that the tea wasn’t that good but anyhow, ah, I had to drive him up to the Bronx there too one night…(drinking wine)…and, but any rate, finally at that time Bull’s parents came to see the baby, and they immediately installed him in that…exclusive beach club out there Atlantic Beach, so after that I had to drive thirty miles every day, I’d keep the jeep, and I’d spend the night—Bull bought me a room, ah, for a week, and ah, so I sat in the room, only it wasn’t for me, it was for him to come uptown every second or third night to pick up junk and stay overnight, see, and June was of course out there in the beach club now, see—(laughing). Dig how her environment changes! Every day she gets up, she goes down the—and all the old biddies, it’s the middle of Janurary you know or somethin like that, er, it’s very late, it’s comin—approaching December anyhow, it’s ah, it’s wintry, but they’re out there playing in the sand and everything and the kiddies and all that you know, see (sniffing), course June never goes out of the apartment, but (laughing), but apartment, man, what a—it was a great huge, the carpet four feet thick you know and walkin through this and they had all kinds of…objects dee art (Evelyn laughs) (both laugh) and, ah, so ah, terrible place—But I had to go out there in and out—but it was pretty nice, though it was right on the ocean, real great, I’d like to stay there come to think of it…because, you know, you’d see the waves right there at your feet, you know, and oh they had, ah, service of every kind, you just call up and they send it up and things you know—