Breathless (The Breathe Series)

by Rachel Brookes

  I swept a piece of loose hair off Sav’s face and my brow furrowed. The thought of the girl lying in my arms hurting and not being able to take away her pain tore me apart. I couldn’t wrap my head around that. She was an innocent, carefree ten-year-old girl when her world had crashed around her. Every child needs their mother and father, but life decided to be a bitch and ripped them from her, but still she had no idea how strong she was and how much I respected and admired her. Fuck, at ten years old, the biggest worry I had was trying to kiss Lizzy Quinnly at school.

  I brushed my fingertips along Sav’s bare shoulder, causing her to stir under my touch, and her arms tightened around my waist, trapping me in. I let out a soft sigh when she feathered a kiss on my chest.

  “Morning,” she spoke huskily, opening one eye and looking up at me through long eyelashes.

  “Morning, snorey,” I grinned, kissing her lips softly.

  She scoffed, attempting to move away from me, but my grip tightened and held her against my body. “It’s too early to be an arsehole.”

  Her face dropped and she stiffened like a board against me as realization swarmed her. Tightening my arms around her, I allowed my protectiveness to kick in. Her legs entwined with mine, and she shifted her body and was now half-covering mine. My arms loosened, dropping towards her hips, encasing her and gripping her with dear life, offering her anything I could to take away the pain that was quickly destroying her.

  “It’s today,” she sobbed into my chest, and I felt the start of her tears falling.

  I kissed her forehead and closed my eyes. It killed me. “I know, babe. I know. What can I do?”

  She lifted her face to look at me, her eyes red and raw with emotion. “This. Just hold me, Tate. I just need you to hold me.”

  I let her cry. My words couldn’t help but my arms around her would. The hustle and bustle of New York City was coming alive below us, but in this room, the world stopped. Her sobs filled the room while her tears covered my chest. I ran my fingertips along her back in a silent comfort and splattered kisses her forehead. Every time I kissed her, her grasp on me tightened.

  “I should get ready for work,” she said in a restricted whisper. “I have to work. I have a meeting with the LA team I need to attend. I could probably get off early though, or maybe we could have lunch. I have to stay busy. I need to just do something. I will go to work. Yeah, I will go to work. Can it just be us tonight?” She pulled away slightly and looked at me as a new rush of tears threatened to release. I kissed her lips and knew that I would do whatever she wanted.

  Lunch never happened. The moment Sav left for work, I lazed on the couch, refusing to get out of my boxer shorts. It was while I was stuffing my face with chocolate Poptarts that Sav’s text came through. She had a meeting with Mr. Davenport she needed to attend so our lunch date was canceled.

  Standing from the couch, I walked towards the window and looked out over the city. It was noon and the city was in full flight. Today, Sav needed to spend time with Mr. Davenport, even if it would just be via a conference call, just as much as he needed her. He had lost his best friend that day and gained a daughter in the process. He was a tough son of a bitch, but I owed him everything for bringing Savannah into my life. I removed my gaze from the craziness of New York City and walked through the room in search of my phone. Flipping it over in my hands, I contemplated sending him a text. I decided to man up and typed a text.

  Me: I hope you are doing okay today.

  Within a minute, I had a reply.

  Mr. Davenport: You are a good man. Look after our girl today.

  Me: Always.

  Within a second of replying, my phone buzzed again in my hand. But it wasn’t Mr. Davenport this time. It was Chelsea. Just seeing her name flash up on the screen irritated me and I felt the veins in my neck popping with tension.

  Chelsea: Tate, it’s rude to ignore someone you love. I would suggest you call me. Otherwise I am not held responsible for anything.

  What the fuck? Chelsea had officially lost her mind. I read over the message, trying to decipher exactly what she was talking about. Why did I always attract the crazies? What did she mean by ‘held responsible’? Once again, I deleted the message before throwing my phone on the couch. I needed to start organizing my plans for Sav.

  Walking through the hotel foyer with Tanzi and Jack, who I had recruited for the day to help me get everything I needed, I stopped dead in my tracks as a person I didn’t want to see appeared. Blake was sitting on one of the waiting seats. My eyes connected with his and I felt my fists clench at my side.

  “What is he doing here?” Tanzi hissed beside me. I had no answer.

  Blake stood from the seat and cautiously looked at the three of us before walking over. His gaze didn’t hinder from mine.

  “Tate, can I have a word?” Blake asked, his voice hesitant.

  “I really don’t have anything to say to you, Blake.”

  “You need to hear this Tate. You want to know.” His eyes flittered from mine and darted around the foyer as if looking for someone.

  “What could you possibly have to say to me? You going to relive how it was fucking Sav to me and tell me exactly what that was like? Or Sarah. Are you going to tell me about that? Seriously, Blake. I don’t give a fuck about anything you need to tell me.”

  Blake took a step towards me but was intercepted by Jack. The look that flashed over Jack’s face as he eyed Blake and was something I couldn’t name—maybe recognition.

  “Back off, man.”

  Blake shifted his gaze from mine to Jack and nodded in defeat. Stepping away, he stopped suddenly and looked between Tanzi and me, hesitating like he wanted to say something but deciding against it. Something had shifted in him and I couldn’t put my finger on it. “Don’t say that I didn’t try and warn you Tate.”

  He turned and rushed out of the hotel foyer, leaving the three of us speechless and me as confused as ever.

  “What the fuck was that?” My voice was strained.

  “Just another chapter in the crazy book of Tate Connors,” Jack scoffed and pushed me towards the door. He was right—my life was anything but normal.

  Tanzi, Jack, and I spent the next three hours searching New York City high and low for everything I needed for my afternoon and night with Sav. I had planned everything to the last detail. I was known for my spontaneity, but Jesus, I could plan the shit out of things. Tonight was going to be all about Sav and her family.

  “Tate, I’m home.” Sav’s voice sailed through the room, her heels clicking on the floor below her. I walked out of the bathroom, freshly showered and ready for the rest of the afternoon. The temperature in the city was balmy and perfect for what I had planned. I strode across the room, my eyes scanning her face. She looked exhausted and breakable, but I could tell she was trying to put on a brave face.

  “Hey, gorgeous.” Speaking softly, I wrapped my arms around Sav’s waist pulling, her in to my body.

  Her arms snaked around me and she buried her face in the crook of my neck, lightly kissing my throat.

  “Hey, handsome.”

  I kept my arms locked around her. I wouldn’t be the first to break away today. She needed me, and whether it was to talk or stand here with my arms around her, I would do whatever she wanted. After a few minutes, her arms loosened around my neck and she pulled away, lightly brushing my lips with hers.

  “How was your day?” she questioned before walking through the room towards the kitchen. Shit! The picnic basket I had prepared was sitting on the counter in full view. “What’s this?”

  “I am taking you out,” I blurted out quickly. Nice one, Tate.

  “Tate, I really don’t feel like going out.”

  Rushing to the kitchen, I grabbed both of her hands in mine. “Trust me, Sav. It’s just you and me, and you nee
d this.” She looked up at me with those big green questioning eyes, hesitation flickering through before they settled on acceptance.

  She nodded slowly. “Let me shower first. What should I be wearing for this outing?”

  “Whatever you like. Nothing flashy, just casual. Oh, and wear flip-flops.”

  “Thongs, Tate. They are called thongs.”

  “Look, I love the idea of you wearing thongs, but thongs to me are totally different to what thongs are to you. Now go and have a shower. Oh, and lock the god damn door. Otherwise we will never leave this room.”

  “That could be a great distraction, you know, to get my mind off things.” Her voice finally showed signs of happiness and the sassiness I adored.

  “Savannah Rae, this is the one and only time I am going to say this, but we are not having sex.” I shuddered after I spoke. It was like I had just said the most shocking thing the universe had ever heard. “Fuck, that just sounds wrong. Go!” I ushered her out of the room and rubbed my hands through my hair, mumbling under my breath while my brain kicked into overdrive with memories of every time we’d had sex.

  “Tate.”

  Sav’s voice floated through the room and I swung around and almost exploded in my pants. There she was, standing in the doorway of the bathroom, hands on her hips, completely naked, with a soft grin on her face. My eyes had a mind of their own and raced over the length of her perfect body. Those hips, those tits, that cute rounding stomach, those legs that went on for days.

  “You sure you don’t want to join?” she purred, twirling her hair around her finger and licking her lips. This was what I had to deal with on an everyday basis. I had a girlfriend who knew what she had and what it did to me.

  “Seriously, you are too fucking perfect.” I walked towards her, taking two steps at a time. Her body was like a magnet. I stood in front of her, my hands caressing every inch of her delicious curves while my eyes blazed into her. Leaning in, I felt the warmth of her body radiating towards me, my lips brushing hers as I spoke. “Please go take a shower.”

  Reluctantly I stepped away, cursing myself as I rushed to the kitchenette area of the room. I needed a distraction, and right now, sorting through our picnic would have to do.

  “Where are you taking me?” Savannah asked with a nervous grin. She had finally showered and dressed while I tried to stop thinking about breaking down the door of the bathroom and having my way with her. She shifted beside me in the passenger seat to face me. We were now sitting in the rental car I had organized during the day and weaving through the craziness of lower Manhattan traffic.

  I quickly glanced and fired a wink at her. “It’s a surprise.”

  Signs for New Jersey flashed before me, and as the afternoon faded, so did Sav’s mood. Music swam through the car, but I knew Sav’s mind was quickly filling with painful memories. I took a quick right and turned off the freeway. We were close to our destination. Sav’s eyes were fixated out the window while her hands were entwined in her lap. The afternoon sunshine was starting to set in the distance, and I knew we only had an hour or so of daylight left.

  Pulling the rental car into a vacant parking space, I turned off the rumbling engine and swivelled in my seat to face Sav. When I grabbed her shaking hands, my heart ached for her. The sound of the waves crashing outside filled the car, but all I could focus on was the jagged breathing echoing from Sav. Kissing her knuckles in silent comfort, I waited for her to speak.

  Sav blinked quickly, begging the tears that wanted to escape to disappear. “What are we doing?”

  I released her hand, got out of the driver’s seat, and rushed to her door. The smell of the ocean was fierce and the ocean breeze refreshing. Please, God, let this be the right thing to do. Opening the passenger’s side door, I crouched down in front of her and rested my hands on her knees. Slowly her head raised and our eyes met—mine full of hope, hers full of hesitation.

  “I know how much the beach means to you because it’s your one connection to your parents. You need to be here today. I wish I could take you to Australia and sit beside you on the beach where you grew up, and one day we will. The beach is where your heart is, Sav; it’s where you feel at home, so I thought we could spend the afternoon here. We don’t have to talk. We can just sit. Just you, me, and Jellybean.”

  She unclasped her hands and rested them on top of mine, her thumb softly grazing over my hand. “I don’t know what I did to deserve someone like you.”

  I rose to my feet, holding my hand out for her to grab. When she took my hand, I pulled her to her feet and watched as her eyes left mine as she looked out over the ocean. A hint of a smile graced her pained face. I opened the trunk and grabbed a blanket and the picnic basket before we took off towards the secluded beach I had surfed at many times before, my hand grasped grasping hers tightly.

  Sav and I found the perfect place, hidden away from view of any people that may stumble on to this hidden jewel but still with amazing ocean views. Placing the blanket on the hot sand, Sav sat down beside me and instantly dropped back on her elbows, allowing her head to swing back, and sighed as the sunshine rays beamed over her body. I couldn’t stop myself from staring at her. She was utterly broken but still so damn beautiful.

  I unclipped the picnic basket while my eyes remained firmly latched on hers. All I wanted was to protect her from pain, and now she was suffering the worst pain anyone could suffer. The sound of the clip opening caught Sav’s attention, and her eyes looked at me closely while a small smile tugged on her lips.

  Her eyes dropped to my hands as I removed items one at a time from the picnic basket. Her eyes shot back to mine as the biggest smile I had seen all day took over her face. “Holy shit, Tate!”

  Shooting Sav a wink, I continued pulling out what I knew where her favorite treats from Australia. Tanzi, Jack, and I had searched every corner of Manhattan to get them. I didn’t think there was a store we hadn’t visited or a market that we hadn’t asked. Tim Tams, violet crumbles, crunchies, and twisties spilled out on the picnic blanket between us, but the crowning glory was the vegemite sandwiches I’d made.

  “I can’t give you Australia so I brought Australia to us.”

  Sav’s eyes jumped over every item I had pulled out. Suddenly leaning over the pile of food between us, she clenched the front of my shirt, pulling me towards her. Her eyes finally smiled at me.

  “This is too much.” Her lips vibrated against mine as she spoke. I inched forward so my lips fell upon hers, my eager tongue running over her bottom lip softly, and she sighed against me. Perfection. Our lips caressed each other’s intimately while our tongues delicately danced together. There was nothing rough, needy, or desperate about this kiss. I smiled when I felt her teeth nibble into my bottom lip, showing the sassy Savannah I usually craved.

  I kissed her quickly before sitting back to watch her. Her eyes swam over everything in front of her, deciding on what she wanted. She quickly grabbed one of the vegemite sandwiches. Her face contorted and her eyes darted to mine after she took off the top layer of bread. Her laughter shocked me. She was laughing the hardest I had ever witnessed. My eyes narrowed in at her in complete and utter confusion. What the hell was so funny?

  “We can’t eat these!” she choked out between desperate attempts to gasp air that had been stolen due to her laughter.

  I looked at the sandwich and back at her while she continued to grasp her stomach. Clearly I had missed something hilarious.

  “What do you mean? It’s bread, it’s butter, and it’s that hideous thing you call vegemite.”

  Her eyes flickered at me. “You will shut your mouth! That is blasphemy! Vegemite is to die for but only if it’s done the right way.” She started giggling again. Ripping the sandwich from her hand caused her to giggle even louder. I took a massive bite. The moment it hit the back of my throat, I swear to God, my eyes starte
d to water. I gagged, coughed, and spat the hideous chunk of sandwich onto the sand.

  “What the fuck is that?” I groaned. My hands fumbled in the picnic basket for the bottle of water I knew I’d packed. Where is it?

  “Oh my god, Tate, you are hilarious.” Her laughter was infectious, and my deep laugh soon joined hers. The mood lightened around us as she tried to catch her breath.

  “Let me make you a sandwich when we get back. You only put on a really small amount.” Her face dropped suddenly and a wistful look appeared. “When I was younger, Dad would make us toasted vegemite and cheese sandwiches. They were the best.”

  “Do you still make them?”

  She shook her head. “I haven’t had one since he died.”

  “Maybe we could have one together?”

  “Maybe.”

  Sav stood, dusted the sand off the back of her pants, and removed her flip-flops. She faced the ocean and sighed.

  “Can you give me a minute?” Sav gave me a pleading glance before walking towards the water’s edge with her head down. My eyes watched her every movement, knowing that this was her private moment to share with her parents. An annoying buzz sounded through the air while my pocket vibrated. With fumbling hands, I searched for my phone. My eyes narrowed at the name on the screen. Chelsea.

  Chelsea: Tate, I urgently need to speak with you. There is something that we need to work out. I don’t know how long you are going to keep up this charade that you are in love with that slut.

  An anger I could have never imagined ripped through me. Who the fuck did she think she was? I had two choices. I could reply and tell her to fuck the hell out of my and Sav’s life or I could do what I knew would bother her the most—keep silent. Shoving my phone back into my pocket, I turned my attention back to Savannah. She was my only focus.