Collateral Damage (From the Damage)

by Jasmine Denton

  Seth was up and off of Kendall before she could blink, and she quickly stood after him, straightening out her clothes.

  “The ones you’re wearing,” Kelly said, giving Kendall a disapproving scowl. She turned her gaze to Seth, and her mouth dropped open, cheeks turning bright red.

  Before Kendall could react, Kelly crossed the room and slapped Seth across the face. The smack seemed to echo in the quiet room, and sent his head flying to the side.

  “Whoa, Kelly, have you gone mental?” Kendall exclaimed as Seth brought a hand to his reddening cheek.

  “What the hell is he doing here?” Kelly demanded, hands placed firmly on her hips in a defensive stance.

  “He’s my friend.”

  “Then you suck at making friends.”

  “I take it you two know each other?” Kendall asked, knowing there must be some reason for Kelly to act this way.

  Kelly’s venomous stare never left Seth. “He raped one of my best friends.”

  Narrowing her eyes, she looked at Seth, hoping the accusation wasn’t true. Seeing the guilty expression on his face destroyed all of that hope. Shaking her head, she stepped away from him.

  “I want him out of this house,” Kelly said, voice tight with anger. “Now.”

  Without another word, Seth picked up his shoes, crossed the room and went out the door. “Seriously, Kendall, you need better judgment.”

  Shooting her stepsister a dirty look, Kendall ran after her only friend.

  “Kendall, are you crazy?” Kelly called after her. “You can’t trust him!”

  But Kendall didn’t listen. She barely caught up with him before he pulled out of the driveway, and had to jump in the car with him just to get him to talk to her.

  “Tell me it’s not true.” Kendall turned in her seat to stare at Seth. “Come on, I’m waiting.”

  His gaze was fixed on the road, his eyes darkening as if he was trapped in the past.

  “Seth!” she said louder, demanding his attention.

  Finally, he spoke the cold and distant words, “It’s all true.”

  She felt her heart snap shut, and a sickening feeling churned in her stomach. Turning away from him, she pressed her forehead into the cool glass of the window and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to keep her brain from trying to make sense of this. Trying to picture that boy who’d always taken care of her, always understood her, doing something so horrible set her head aching. She knew there were always two sides to a person—their core, and their front. The face you see, and the one you don’t. But with this…her mind couldn’t fit the two faces together.

  Grabbing onto the door handle, she placed her fingers along the grooves and squeezed tight. Then tighter, until her knuckles paled and her joints began to ache, trying to hang on when her world was spinning so violently out of control.

  He was looking at her, she could feel it. And it sent her skin blazing, her temper flaring. “Pull the car over, Seth.”

  “Just hear me out—”

  She whipped around to face him, raising her voice, keeping it firm. “Pull over!”

  His chest rose and fell as he inhaled a steady breath, debating what to do. Hands stiff and tight in the ten and two position, those cold eyes staring at the long stretch of road ahead.

  Her mouth dropped open as she gawked at him. Was he really going to try to keep her in this car against her will? Seth, of all people, would do that to her?

  And suddenly, the panic was overwhelming. Her heart hammered so loud and frantically she couldn’t hear anything else, couldn’t feel anything but terror. She needed to get out of the car; she couldn’t be trapped again. It felt like the walls of the sporty frame were getting even smaller, shrinking in on her until she couldn’t move, or think or breathe.

  She reached over and grabbed the wheel, causing the car to veer into the oncoming lane.

  “Kendall, chill out!” Seth hissed, struggling for control of the wheel and making the car swerve back and forth.

  But she held on tight, desperate to get away from him.

  “Alright, alright!” He shouted, and she let go. He guided the car over to the edge of the road.

  Before the tires even stopped rolling, she opened the door and jumped out. Gulping in a deep breath of fresh, clean air and choking back a sob that tried to escape. She started walking back the way they’d came, pressing a hand against her mouth just in case she got sick, just in case she broke down in a fit of tears right here in the road.

  “Kendall, please…” he called after her. “Just wait a minute.”

  But she only kept walking.

  “Neither one of us have ever been innocent,” he said, his voice shaking as he tried to get through to her. “And I realize I’ve crossed some lines here, but you…I mean…”

  As his words trailed off, she heard him come closer, but she picked up her pace.

  Gravel crunched under his feet as he stopped and sighed with a heavy, regretful heart. “You are the one person who’s supposed to give me the benefit of the doubt.”

  She stopped, but kept her back to him, trying to fight the emotions he was stirring, trying to keep that feeling of disgust and anger in the forefront, so she could hate him without questioning, without caring about ‘his side of the story’.

  “The one who can look past all of the mistakes—”

  She spun to face him, her patience and resolve wearing thin. “Look past it?” she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air in frustration. “That’s what you expected me to do? Just close my eyes and turn my head the other way?”

  His jaw set as he stared back at her, the masks falling away. Leaving only a very young looking, not the least bit intimidating, lost little boy.

  “Like I did the first time we had sex?” her voice cracked, most of the sentence coming out in a heartbroken whisper. She turned from him again, covering her face as the horrific details of that night came rushing back. The lumpy mattress on the floor, the creepy man behind the camera who kept grinning. And Seth…too young to…

  “Kendall, don’t go there.” He reached out and grabbed her shoulders, turning him to face her. His eyes pleaded with hers and his voice was hoarse as he whispered, “Don’t go to that place.”

  She looked up at him, tears brimming the lines of her vision, until all she could see was his face. “Don’t you get it? Neither one of us ever left that place.”

  He let go of her then, swallowing hard as her words sunk in.

  “What you did just proves it.” Yanking away from him, she stumbled back. “How could you? How could you do something so horrible?”

  His hands fell to his sides, and he stepped back, as if giving up. “Why? Is it going to make you hate me any less? Make me hate myself less? Will it make you feel better about wanting to be with me?”

  She shook her head and a few tears escaped. “I could never be with you now.”

  “But it doesn’t change the fact that I’m still the only person who knows you. Because you can’t, no you refuse to let anybody in. You even push your family away. So you can hate me all you want, but I understand you in away nobody else ever will. Are you sure you want to throw that away over one…indiscretion?”

  Kendall couldn’t believe what she was hearing. What was wrong with him? Rambling, she started toward him, ready to let him have it. “Seth, you turned somebody into a victim. You made somebody feel…helpless and lost and afraid…” all of the nasty emotions she’d been struggling with over the last few years, she realized with revulsion. Standing in front of him now, she gave his chest a hard shove in anger, but it barely made him sway.“I can’t forgive you for that as long as you’re calling it an indiscretion!”

  “Then why are you still here?” He turned, angling them toward the car as his gaze bored into her. “Can’t you see I’m dangerous? Or maybe that’s what you want.”

  Taking a step toward her, a spine chilling look filled his eyes. She stepped back, but ran into the car. Keeping those eyes locked on her, he moved forwa
rd, flattening her against the passenger door. For a second, she could’ve sworn she was looking at the devil. “Maybe you want to see how dangerous I can be.”

  She pressed herself against the car, wishing she could slip past him, but there wasn’t room. He was directly in front of her, blocking any escape route. Why hadn’t she realized that’s what he’d been doing?

  When he reached up and slid his hand under her shirt, she swatted at it, but he grabbed her wrist and pinned it to the hood of the car with crushing weight. She pushed at his chest with her free hand, but it had the effect of a teacup poodle barking at a Doberman. As his body pressed against hers, she realized for the first time how tall he was, how strong. She realized the strength of every inch of height and ounce of muscle with dreading terror as she fought to get away from him.

  “Is this what you want? Huh?” Sliding his hands down her belly, he tried to unbutton her pants with one hand, his lips curving in a sick smile.

  “Seth, knock it off!”

  “Why? It’s not like I haven’t been there before.”

  “I mean it!” Raising her knee, she shoved it into his groin and he staggered back.

  Hot, uncontrollable anger flashed into his expression. “What is it that you want from me? Huh? Why do you keep coming back to me?” Seth shouted, still just inches away from her face. “You want a body to keep you warm when you’re lonely? Need someone to pick you up off the floor when you’re wasted? What? Or do you want answers about your past?” His tone turned mocking. “You want to know the details of what that freak did to us? What he made us do. Be grateful you don’t remember.”

  Flinching at his words, at the shamed feeling they left with her, she glared at him. “I remember all of it.” She walked toward him, making him back up for a change. “All I want to know is how we got out. Dad said they found us, but there was never any trial. He’s a prosecutor; he would’ve wanted a trial. Insisted on it. But nothing ever came of it. The freak never had to pay…Why?”

  Seth clenched his teeth in fury. “Like I said, be glad you don’t remember.”

  “That’s not an answer to my question!” Kendall yelled. “This is the first time since we got back that I haven’t felt like the craziest person in the world. Now I need to know what happened!”

  “You are crazy!” With a loud, fed up, pissed off grunt Seth threw his body against hers, knocking her back into the car. “Thinking I won’t hurt you. Thinking you know me, that you’re connected to me. Thinking, just for a second, that I wouldn’t turn on you!”

  Kendall gasped as she fell backwards. She struggled to catch her breath. To regain her calm. It took her a second to realize the reason he threw himself against her like that was so he could hit the car with his fist. He’d punched the windshield, leaving a small, rippling crack in it. His face was so close to hers she could feel his breath on her lips when he spoke. He was calmer now, but he still terrified her. In a low, demanding voice he ordered, “Stop asking about what happened.”

  Grabbing her shoulders, he spun her around and let go with a shove, hurling her away from the car. She stumbled forward, catching her balance. Rage filling every inch of her body, she whirled around to face him.

  “How dare you!? This is my life! You may be willing to forget it ever happened. Maybe turning a strong and confident girl into a helpless victim like yourself is therapy for you. But I want answers, and I won’t stop until I get them!”

  “Good luck with that.” Seth climbed into the driver’s seat. He started the car and rolled down the window. He tossed her purse out, spilling its contents on the ground. “You’ll have plenty of time to think about it on your long, dark walk home. I really hope a scary man doesn’t snatch you.”

  Without another word he backed the car up, kicking gravel up as he sped off into the darkness. She let out a frustrated scream as she kicked a rock. It flew across the road and into her darkness, her scream echoing off the forest surrounding her.

  Her phone beeped and she dropped to her knees on the gravel, digging through her the clutter of spilled contents and putting them back in her purse until she found her phone. She was trembling as the imminent danger faded and she was left feeling helpless and alone. Trying to focus on the screen to her phone, she saw there were three missed calls from Kelly and another one coming in.

  Staring at the picture of Kelly, her pajamas soaking wet and her blond hair hanging in wet ringlets around her grumpy expression, Kendall felt knew tears spring her eyes. Letting out a slow breath in hopes to steady her voice, Kendall answered the phone.

  “Kendall?” Kelly said, as soon as the lines connected. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah,” she replied, her voice shaky. She groped around in the dark, searching for the items from her purse. “I’m okay.”

  “No you’re not. What happened?”

  “No, really,” Kendall said, wiping away stray tears and standing up. She brushed herself off, like she always did, and started walking. “I’m just kind of…stranded—”

  “Where?” Kelly asked.

  Kendall was shocked. She’d been expecting an ‘I told you he was dangerous’ or something. Why was Kelly being so nice to her, after all of the horrible things she’d done?

  Kendall looked around until she saw a road sign and read the information back to Kelly. And before long, she was relieved to see Kelly’s green neon pull up and park on the side of the road.

  She climbed out of the car and hurried to Kendall’s side. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  Kendall just nodded in response, surprised by her concern. She was silent for most of the drive home. Maybe she was in shock or something, but she just couldn’t talk right now. She couldn’t even manage to come up with one of her snide remarks.

  Kelly parked the car outside of their house, but made no effort to get out. Finally, she looked over at Kendall and said, “Are you ever going to tell me your secret?”

  Shaking her head, Kendall climbed out of the car and headed up to the house. She pushed open the door and headed for the steps, making it to the first one before Kelly caught up with her.

  Kelly’s voice echoed in the tall, open foyer. “I had an abortion.”

  An eyebrow raised, Kendall turned to face her stepsister, giving her a thorough and skeptical once-over.

  “Seriously,” Kelly said, sensing Kendall’s doubt. “It’s one of the reasons Alex and I broke up.”

  Verses from Kelly’s journal sprang to Kendall’s mind, the clues finally making sense. “That’s what Gage helped you come clean about?” she said finally, more as a final thought than to actually ask.

  Kelly nodded, walking forward and shutting the door behind her. “It’s the reason I joined the support group. It kind of…” she paused, searching for the right words, “messed me up for awhile.”

  “Why are you telling me this?” Kendall asked slowly, wondering if it was some kind of trick.

  “How can I ask you to be honest with me, if I’m not honest with you?” She set her purse and keys down on the end table and stood by the edge, looking down at the marbled surface of the table for a moment before she spoke. “I’ve seen you have the nightmares. And I think you’re dealing with something…something pretty heavy.”

  When Kelly finally turned to her stepsister, her gaze was steady and honest and her voice was gentle and sincere. “What is it?”

  Kendall sat down on the steps, shaking her head, but she could feel her decision crumbling, changing. Until she wanted to tell Kelly, needed to let someone besides Seth know what had happened, so he’d no longer have that ‘I’m the only one’ hold over her. But she’d never done that before…never really told anyone. The people who knew her secret only knew because they were part of it.

  Kelly leaned against the banister, waiting patiently.

  “Seth and I…” Kendall started, but she hesitated. “We were kidnapped.”

  Chapter 12

  Kelly

  Kelly listened in horror as Kendall told the story of a
twelve year old girl taken from the playground and forced into a child-pornography ring. Disgusted, heartbroken and sympathetic didn’t even begin to describe the emotions she felt for the broken girl sitting next to her on the steps.

  She couldn’t understand why someone would do something so horrible, would hurt someone in ways that may never heal. And to do that to a child? It made Kelly sick to her stomach.

  “Kendall…” she whispered when Kendall was finished, but anything she tried to say seemed stupid. There was nothing she could say to make Kendall’s situation better, no words could alleviate the pain.Reachingout, she wrapped an arm around Kendall’s shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug. Squeezing the girl as hard as she could, not caring about personal boundaries or their past vendettas. All she cared about was that her sister was in pain.

  ***

  Daphne

  ***

  Daphne woke to the sound of her alarm clock the next morning. She stretched and climbed out of bed, eagerly heading straight for the coffee pot, every morning reminding her how much she loved the alarm clock function. As expected, a hot pot of coffee was already waiting for her. She poured a cup, added some flavored creamer from the fridge and then turned to look at Kay.

  Finding only a stack of folded blankets on the end of the couch, exactly where Daphne had left them last night. “No, no, no,” Daphne pleaded, quickly crossing the room to the foot of the couch.

  On top of the linens was a note with only one word.

  Sorry.

  She crumpled the note and threw it down. “Dammit,” she muttered, rushing to her cell phone. She called Kay twice, but her number went straight to voicemail. Now, she was really starting to panic. If she couldn’t get a hold of Kay and her dad found her first, Daphne would never forgive herself. She put a frantic call in to Brett, asking him to come over.

  She’d hoped he’d be supportive, but when she explained what happened, he only looked outraged.

  “You let a patient in crisis spend the night in your apartment?” he repeated, his tone firm and angry, but not raised. “And then you let her give you the slip? Daph, getting this personally involved with a client will get you in a lot of trouble. Even if we do find her. How could you let her get away?”