Annoying Pest...

by K. S. Adkins

  Before I could say a word, he took his fingers back like they were on fire, and wiped them on the sheets. Getting as far from me as he could, he banged off the walls like a pinball. Eyes wild, his face contorted in pain and his demeanor showed he was ready to kill. “He never told me, all the fucking times I talked to him and he never told me.”

  “Because it wasn’t his story to tell,” I try to explain, but he wasn’t listening.

  “How could you fucking do this to me?”

  “How could you claim to love me and leave me, Chevy? You say you needed a break, from me. Fine. But how could you walk away without another word? How could you keep in touch with him and not with me? How can you stand there and judge me without knowing the facts right now!”

  Spinning away, he pulls his phone from his pocket and storms outside. Oh, I knew who he was calling, it was a no brainer. Another thing about Chevy, he’s ruled by emotions and once that happens any words that come from my mouth fall on deaf ears. Lying there, I knew I’d never forget the look of betrayal on his face. I also knew when he figured it out, he’d never forget mine either. Would our challenges ever end?

  

  “She lost a baby?” I yell into the phone.

  “She told you.”

  “No, asshole, I saw the scars on her stomach. Question is, why didn’t you tell me? You knew I’d want her back when you sent for me. It wasn’t enough I stepped aside so you could fuck her while I was gone, you had to knock her up, too?”

  “Do you ever listen to yourself?” he sighs which pissed me off. “First, contrary to what you or the public thinks, I did not fuck her. Second, that baby did not belong to me, and last, fuck you for being you. You self-absorbed piece of shit. You left me to take care of her and I fucking did the best I could. All this time you think I’ve been fucking her? If I was fucking, her do you think I’d be calling your selfish ass back?”

  “Who’s fucking kid was it?”

  “I’ll send someone else by tonight,” he said low. “She’ll get a room until I find your replacement. Goddammit, Chevy, I haven’t been gone a day.”

  “Send someone and I’ll kill ‘em. Rick was fired and is currently knocked the fuck out sleeping it off in his luxury sedan she probably fucking paid for. Maybe you could have done a little better.”

  “I betrayed her fucking trust for you. By doing that, I gave you the chance to get her back, to fix your fuck up. This is how you repay me? This is how you repay her? Right now, I am busting my ass to nail down the threat and find her new management before her show. I do not need her going off the deep end again because of you and your bullshit.”

  “Handle your end and I’ll handle her.”

  “Make sure she takes her meds,” he tried, but I shut him down.

  “Fuck those meds,” I told him. “She’ll never take another one. Shoving that shit down her throat ain’t the answer. Babying her ain’t the answer and you two keeping shit from me ain’t either.”

  Then I hung up the fucking phone, wondering what to do next. But I didn’t have to worry about that because she came out of the RV wearing only a tank top. My eyes focused on her bare feet.

  “Here,” she said, handing me a photo. At first, I refused to take my eyes from her. Whatever I held in my hand was going to ruin me and I knew it. But I forced myself to look at it, then I ran my finger over it trying not to cry when I see, Baby James and a date.

  An ultrasound. She’d had an ultrasound. It was taken four months after I’d left. I left my woman and our child. An asshole leaves a good woman behind. A fucking asshole leaves a good woman and their kid. I was supposed to spend my life taking care of her.

  Fuck, my failures kept piling up.

  “We were having a son,” she said quietly, but she didn’t cry. She was probably all dried out after being left to cry alone. “I thought it was the flu or a virus until Guy made me see the doctor. Anyway, I couldn’t find you to tell you, but I had planned to. I wanted you to know about him, Chevy. I hope you believe that. But I was hurt and afraid you’d think I was trying to trap you into coming back. It took me some time to work it out, finding it in me to be an adult about it. I worked it out because a son should know his father. I knew even if you didn’t love me anymore, you would have loved your son. So, I worked it out, I was ready, but I was too late.”

  “Pest…”

  “I gave you my heart and my virginity, Chevy,” she said sadly. “Two things no one else has ever had until I saw that picture. My heart seized up when you left. I swore nothing would make it beat again. Then she put some gel on my stomach, moved it around and I heard his heart beat. When she was done, I was handed that picture. In that moment all I knew was, I was grateful to have a piece of you to love.

  Guy said he’d find you so I could tell you. At least give you the choice to participate or not. I read the books, ate the right foods, and did everything they said would ensure I’d have a healthy baby. And I wanted you to know so fucking bad.

  When I lost him, I lost everything. Hope, faith, and my fucking heartbeat, too. I need you to know that I’ll always love you, but I don’t have anything left to give anymore. So you made a mistake coming back here. I’m not ever going to be right. You,” she said on a sad smile, “I’ll always carry here,” pointing at her chest. Then dropping her hands to her stomach she closes her eyes. “Him, I carried here and in the end he left me, too.”

  “No,” I said, reaching for her. “Pest…”

  “Are you listening to me? Didn’t you hear?” she wailed. “I have nothing!”

  “You have me. I’ll give you everything,” I promised. “Kids, a house—”

  “I don’t want any more fucking kids! I don’t want a goddamn house! I have failed enough! You, Guy, our son. I am fucking done! I’ll never forget the day I didn’t have you there holding my hand because I drove you away! I had Guy. Guy, who was not Chevy, would never, could never be Chevy. Guy, who does not want to be Chevy! Guy, who watched me fall apart; Guy, who can’t have a life because he worries for mine! When you left it ruined me. When they took our son, it destroyed me.”

  Breathing heavy and ready to hit me again, she backed up and visibly calms herself down. “I can’t handle anything anymore. Not the crowds, strangers screaming my name, reaching for me. They take, take, take. I can’t do anything right. I couldn’t make you happy, I’m dragging Guy down, and I couldn’t even carry our own baby. Zillions of women do it every fucking day but not me! You were my anchor, all I had to keep me from being lost at sea. I know I was a burden for you, I know I was, but goddammit, I loved you!

  “I’m not strong or fierce like you, but everything I could do, I did for you. I gave you me. What you see now is what’s left. A pathetic girl who can’t go outside or talk to strangers without medication. That is not your fault. It’s not your fault I’m afraid of living. It’s not your fault I’ll never be normal, or that I live in a constant state of fear. But some of us need to be cut a bit of slack because we can’t all be unflappable and unbreakable like you!”

  When she collapses on the pavement, I rush over, helpless while she struggles to breathe like a fish out of water. Pills, she needed her fucking pills. All I could do was hold her and hoped it was enough.

  When she started to vomit, I rubbed her back while she rode the last of the attack out. Jesus Christ, maybe once a year she’d tweak like this. Twice in less than a few hours was not good. I was not equipped or prepared for this. Sagging, her head falls forward proving she was wiped out. Scooping her up, I brought her back in, refusing to leave her side. Given her current condition, she was too exhausted to push me away, and for that I was grateful.

  It was in my arms, she finally relaxed.

  Which of course had me thinking of the past. On how many times we’d been in this same position with Tempest draped over me while I ran my hands through her hair to comfort her. It wasn’t always about the anxiety. Sometimes she had cramps so bad she curled up in my lap and cried until the Motrin kicked i
n. I remembered how helpless I felt not being able to take the pain away. Of how beautiful she was holding on to me as she fought it. So strong, I remember thinking. Especially on the nights when she had to perform. She hid the pain until it was over, where I’d be waiting to carry her away. Even when she suffered, she still ended her sets with a standing ovation.

  She suffered so others could be happy.

  

  He had to go, now.

  And tomorrow I had to get myself a doctor’s appointment. His presence, plus these attacks, were going to kill me. I needed those pills. I wasn’t popping them for a high. I was taking them to maintain, so I wouldn’t continuously eat pavement. I was done humiliating myself in front of him. I was finished falling apart!

  The air was as clean as it was going to get. He said his piece, I said mine. I came clean about the baby and current state of affairs. This tour would take everything I had to finish, with medication. If I could bow out, I would, but too much was at stake. Being home was hard enough because I had memories here. This was where it all started; where we had started.

  Now I had Chevy curled into my back, telling me he wanted to fix me. Fucking fix me!

  The same Chevy, who hours ago thought I’d been fucking Guy and stepped back to allow it. The man who swore to love me forever, yet left me as scraps to his best friend.

  Step one, meds. Step two, sending him packing. Step three, finding the strength to meet the orchestra and artists who would be backing the tour without puking on stage.

  I wanted to punch myself for being creative. Because using local artists wasn’t just a good idea, it was a great idea. Opera didn’t get the attention or love it was due. By blending opera with rock, I created something no one else had and people responded to it. Not only did opera fans get a sample of metal, metal fans got a sample of opera. My shows were over-the-top, loud, and a nonstop feast for the senses. It was my therapy. And the thought of doing any of it right now had me frozen in bed.

  “I know you’re awake,” he said while moving my hair away.

  “I’m totally sleeping.”

  “You wrote Still Beating Heart for our son, didn’t you?”

  “Yeah.” Why lie?

  “It was the one song I could never figure out,” he whispered into my neck. “Now I get it, Pest.”

  He didn’t get shit because he wasn’t fucking here. I was. Guy was. Guy was the one who mourned with me. The one who held me down as they took my child from me to save my life. The one who promised me I would survive it. The same one who lost his shit when I heard a nurse say my son’s heart still beat. The man who cried with me, held me as I held my son when his heart stopped beating.

  Guy was the man who buried him.

  Not Chevy.

  Not even me.

  “What happened to him wasn’t your fault, Chevy.”

  “They cut him out?” he asked, running his hands over my midsection.

  “Yeah.”

  “Wasn’t your fault either, Pest.”

  At this, I said nothing.

  “Did it hurt?”

  “A little,” I hedged.

  “Did it hurt, Pest?” he asked, turning me to face him.

  “Yes,” I confessed. “But not having you hurt worse.”

  “I’ll fix this,” he promised. “You, me, every fucking fear you’ve got. I’ll fix all of ‘em. Let me come back home so I can.”

  “I don’t have a home to offer you. I’m homeless, empty.”

  Oh shit, I knew that look on his face. He had made a decision. “Straddle me,” he said, lifting me onto his lap. On a gasp, I held myself up with my hands on his chest. “Give me thirty seconds, Pest. You won’t be empty anymore.”

  I was weak, always had been when it came to him. He’s the only one who has ever been inside of me, and if he was telling the truth I was his, too. Sex was the one area where I had no phobias, I was utterly fearless. Nothing was off limits between us. I trusted him with my body no matter how far he wanted to take it. And Chevy liked pushing boundaries, all of them.

  Early on, we watched porn. When we outdid the actors, we started hitting strip clubs together, but neither of us got into it. Women near him set me off, women near me and men watching set him off, too. Once people started to recognize me, we had to stop being open about it and get creative behind closed doors. Using toys, props, and role play, we quickly mastered it. Chevy may be an aggressive man outside of the bedroom, but he loved being restrained in it. As in loved it. He had stamina, he went for hours.

  When Chevy fucked me, he fucked me.

  Not having it, him, for a year was difficult. Having him underneath me now, gripping his cock to get ready for me was sweet torture. I just wanted to forget, be normal, and get off. I wanted to be selfish. There was not a woman alive who could resist this. The hell with it, I decided. If this was a weakness, I figured I may as well embrace it.

  I’ll add it to the list.

  Sliding my underwear off, I crawled back over him and watched his fist work. Already wet, more than willing, and knowing I’d come instantly, I opened myself to him. “Kiss me first,” he orders. Another thing about Chevy, he loved kissing.

  Leaning forward, I took his face in my hands and kissed him hard. It was possessive, and I knew it. I may not be able to give him my heart, but while I had him, I owned this body. It belonged to me. Temporarily. So the next time he left, he’d take this memory with him and hopefully he choked on it. Sucking his tongue, tugging on his lip ring, he grips my hips hard. “Slow,” he moaned then sucked on my tongue.

  “Why?”

  “Missed you, Pest,” he said, rocking me. “Missed us.”

  “When did you get so chatty?”

  “Tell me you missed me,” he ordered, losing his patience. “I get it, I fucked up, shoulda took care of you better, but don’t punish me here. When we’re not here, rail my ass, but not with this.”

  He was right, for once. “I missed you every minute of every day.”

  “You miss taking my cock?” he asked while rubbing it between my lips.

  “Yes.”

  Then, gripping my hips, he forces me down while he thrust up. Throwing my head back, I let out a scream that probably cleared the playground. “Fuck!” he yelled, but doesn’t move. “Did I hurt you?”

  “No,” I panted, enjoying the pain and pleasure. “God, no. Please just move.”

  “I love your pussy,” he praised me. “Yeah, you missed my cock.”

  “You’re going to be missing teeth if you don’t—” Thrusting up, I fought my eyes rolling back and begged, “Ah God, more, Chevy, more! Don’t hold back on me!”

  Wrapping his body around mine, he held me still while his cock pistons inside. Before I could ride him, he took me to my back and pounded me deep into the mattress. Digging my fingers into his shoulders, I tried moving myself into a power position, but he wouldn’t allow it. “Chevy,” I moaned refusing to submit. “Let me...”

  “Later,” he grunted, slapping my ass hard. “Need you now. Gonna make you come.” Yeah so, I wasn’t going to argue with that. Especially when I felt it rising and told him so.

  Grinding down on his shaft and locking my ankles, my back arched in ecstasy as he bites down on my nipple. While sensation blasted through my body almost to the point of pain, Chevy never broke his rhythm. Coming down took some time and through it all, I never let him go. Because when it came to sex, we both had stamina. We were just getting started.

  Stilling inside of me, which he never does, I peeked up at him to see what’s wrong. So when he said, “I stayed gone because I thought you were happy with Guy,” I lost it.

  “Are you fucking kidding me right now? You’re buried inside of me, something neither of us has had in a year, and you want to talk about Guy?”

  “Pest,” he said, staring down at me with misery on his face. “I saw the way you looked at him, held onto him. What else was I supposed to think? I was thinking what everyone else was thinking.”

  �
��Dammit,” I groaned in disappointment. “You know better than anyone what that shit is like. Now think about what it’s like for me. I had to hold onto him, Chevy, because I was fucking terrified. I don’t care what the media said, what the fucking gossips say. I held onto him for dear life because I didn’t have you.”

  This was unreal. Chevy was balls deep and he chose this moment to get serious when I just wanted another fucking orgasm.

  

  Only I could be swollen inside her tight pussy and ruin it. I can sum up this last year as one huge mistake. Because it was clear I mistook everything. Not only that, I didn’t help her when she needed it. I took what we had for granted. I punked out when I should have manned up. Yet, despite all that, Tempest still loved me. Still chose me and mourned the loss of me. Did I deserve a second chance? An opportunity to right my wrongs? Or was letting her go best for Tempest? With her under me, looking miserable, I was tempted to pull out and leave her alone, but when she touched my cheek and sighed, I stayed put.

  “Where have you been, Chevy?”

  “On the road following you,” I admitted to her. “I wanted to be close any way I could.”

  “You’re close now,” she whispered, stroking my cheek. “And you still feel so far away.”

  “I spent a year thinking you were in a better place. Fuck, you’ve been my life since we were kids, Pest. I’d do anything for you, even walk away, and when I did I thought I was doing you a favor.”

  “Bullshit, you walked away because you needed a goddamn break. From me.”

  “That, too,” I sigh. “I’d take it back if I could. Fucked up big and I knew it the second I left.”

  “It’s been a rough year,” she whispered. “For both of us. Can we just focus on what’s happening right now? No promises, no plans. Just this.”

  “I can do that,” I said, thrusting forward in surprise. “For now.”

  “Oh God,” she moaned and clutched the sheets when I rotate my hips. “Do it again.”

  Making her come was a hobby of mine. I could eat her, fuck her, kiss her, and never tire of it. Only when she was begging me to come inside of her with sweat pouring from us both did I let it all go. Minutes later while staring at the ceiling, I came clean with the rest. “Saw every show, never missed one.”