“That’s the funny thing about anxiety. You never really know what it stems from,” Danica said. “So, tell me what happened.”
“I don’t know. I tried to seduce him, which, by the way, I think I suck at, but anyway, one thing led to another, and he told me that he hasn’t been with another woman for eleven months. Eleven months, Danica. It’s been longer for me, but how can a guy even do that?” Lacy finished putting on her makeup, picked up the phone again, and walked into the living room, where she sat down at her computer.
“The heart is a powerful thing,” Danica said.
“We went out on Treat’s boat and looked for sharks.”
“Lacy, what did I tell you? Jesus, talk about pushing the limits,” Danica chided her.
“I know, but you also said to face my fears, and I was pretty much okay. Your advice really helped. We saw one shark that Dane said was small but looked huge to me. I didn’t panic. I didn’t like it, but I didn’t lose all of my faculties either, so I feel like that’s a big step.”
“That’s a huge step, Lace. All you need to do is be okay on the boat and, Lacy, you know that even if you can’t overcome this, you and Dane can still have a relationship. He’s the one in the water, not you,” Danica pointed out.
“True, but I don’t want him worrying about me when he needs to be concentrating on the sharks and doing his job. Given what I’ve seen so far, he’d worry about me every second he was underwater if I was on the boat. He doesn’t need that distraction, and as a couple, we don’t need that stress.”
“You’re not going to end it again, are you?” Danica asked.
“No. I don’t mean it like that. I think I’m figuring all this stuff out, and actually, I’m excited about doing marketing for Brave, too. Oh, and don’t forget that I touched a baby shark at the aquarium, remember? At first it freaked me out a little, but then I was okay and went back to touch it again.” Lacy sat down on the couch.
“I didn’t forget. I’m really proud of you. I’m sure you were scared shitless. Just be careful, Lacy. You could still have a panic attack, so be sure that if you do go with him when he’s looking for sharks, you have a safety net for yourself. Someplace to escape. I don’t know where that would be, a cabin in the boat maybe?”
“I will, but I don’t plan on going on any shark finding missions with him. Thanks, Danica, for everything. I’m glad you talked to Dane, and I’m even kinda glad you didn't tell me. You’re probably right. I would have felt added pressure or something.” For the millionth time, Lacy was thankful to have her sisters in her life.
“You know that if I thought he wasn’t worthy of you, or if I thought it would hurt you, I never would have talked with him, right?”
“I know. I trust you. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. We’re having dinner with Rob and his wife tonight. I really like him.” Lacy wondered what Sheila would be like.
“He’s the one you picked up at the police station?” Danica asked.
“Yeah. He’s back at AA and he seems to be really trying and sincere in his efforts. It turns out that he was only drinking for a couple of days.”
“That’s good. I hope he can stay on the right path. I’ve been thinking. Have you and Dane talked about what happens next?” Danica asked.
“Next?” Crap. Next?
“After Chatham? You do have a life, you know, and so does he. Are you going back to Skype and phone calls?”
“Gosh, we haven’t talked about it. Oh, Danica, I don’t know. I can’t go months without seeing him, not now that we’ve become so close.” Lacy stood and paced. “Shit. I have no idea what we’ll do. His schedule isn’t going to change.” She dropped back onto the couch. “Great, another nightmare.”
“This isn’t a nightmare, Lacy. You sound like Kaylie, drama girl. You’ll figure it out. It’s just a…setback,” Danica assured her.
Setback? A chill ran up Lacy’s spine. “How can we figure it out? Geez, Danica. I wish you hadn’t brought that up.”
“Sorry, Lacy, but you only have a few more days with him before real life steps in. I always want to know where I’m heading,” Danica said.
“I was kind of enjoying my little nympho stage. I’ve never been so spontaneous. I’ve never felt like my heart might explode if I didn’t touch someone before, and now…Oh, Danica. Shit.” Lacy lowered her forehead to her hand.
“Lacy, honey, calm down. When there’s a will, there’s a way. Look at Max and Treat, Josh and Riley. You’ll figure it out. It might take some time, but it’ll come to you, and you won’t always be on a sexcathalon, either. At some point, that’ll slow down, and then, if you see each other every two weeks or something, it could work.”
“Thanks, sis. Maybe you’re right. I guess I have a lot to think about tonight, and I can’t even have a glass of wine with Rob’s recent misstep. There’s nothing worse than trying not to have something that’s flaunted before you. Hell, when I first came back, it was like that with Dane. I wanted him, but I couldn’t—or wouldn’t—let myself have him.”
“You don’t need wine, although it does help, and now you can have as much of Dane as you want. All you need is to think past your raging hormones and the illusion that romantic getaways can last forever. I’m a big believer that the universe will step in when we need it to. We have to rely on our resources and our minds, but I have faith that you’ll see some kind of sign and it will push you both in the right direction. Call me if you need me,” Danica said.
“Thanks. I will. Tell Kaylie I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch lately. I’ll call her when I have my head on straight. How are the twins?” Lacy went to the window and looked out at the water, thinking of how much Trevor and Lexi would love the cottage and the beach. “I miss them.”
“They are so freaking cute, and I swear Kaylie is the best mom I’ve ever known. She’s wrestling with going back to work. I’ll send her your love, and we’ll all get together again soon. Love you,” Danica said.
“You too.”
After ending the call, Lacy sat on the couch mulling over what Danica had said. How will we work out our lives?
Chapter Twenty-Four
THEY HAD DINNER at a family-style restaurant and sat outside on the patio, giving Rob’s two children, Charlie and Katie, space to walk around if they got antsy. Charlie hadn’t left his chair all evening. He sat beside Rob with his arms crossed. Even at seven, he had the sullen teenage stare down pat, while Katie wore a perpetual smile and hung on to the arm of Lacy’s chair, blinking thick lashes over her big brown eyes.
Lacy touched her nose. “You are the cutest four-year-old I’ve ever seen.”
“Can I touch your hair?” Katie asked.
Lacy smiled. “Of course you can, sweetie.”
Katie petted Lacy’s curls. “Pretty,” she said.
Lacy leaned down and whispered, “Can I touch your beautiful hair?”
Katie nodded. A wide, crooked smile graced her cheeks.
Lacy stroked Katie’s hair, then opened her eyes wide and feigned surprise. “Oh, Katie. I’ve never felt such softness. You’re so lucky to have your mommy’s hair.”
Dane had never given much thought to having children of his own, and now, watching Lacy with Katie, he had a fleeting thought about how good Lacy was with them. She was patient and kind and attentive to everything they said. He briefly envisioned what she might be like as a mother.
Katie ran to her mother and climbed into her lap. She rested her head against Sheila’s chest. Sheila stroked her hair.
“Say thank you,” Sheila said, planting a kiss on Katie’s head.
“Thank you,” Katie said.
Charlie sat beside his father, watching Lacy like a hawk, narrowing his dark eyes and looking up through the bangs of his wavy dark hair.
“You know what I think?” Lacy asked. “I think Charlie is going to be even more handsome than your daddy when he grows up.” She winked at Rob, who smiled and put his arm around Charlie.
Charlie’s eyes open
ed wide. He looked at his father. Rob nodded, and Charlie sat up straighter, smiling for the first time all evening.
Dane reached for Lacy’s hand and squeezed. He loved watching Lacy’s warmth and attentiveness to Rob’s kids. Their relationship was moving fast, but it felt too right to slow it down. Lacy brought her hand to her lap, and Dane drew his eyebrows together.
She smiled, but he sensed a hesitation in her eyes. He leaned toward her and whispered, “Is everything okay?”
She nodded. “Fine.”
He didn’t miss the thread of tension in her voice.
“Lacy, since the men are going diving tomorrow, I was thinking that maybe we could spend the day together, take the kids to the fair or something,” Sheila offered. She brushed her long hair behind her shoulders. “I mean, if you don’t mind hanging out with a couple of kids.”
“I’d love that,” Lacy answered.
Dane watched Sheila place a hand on Rob’s arm and could almost feel the wave of love that passed between them.
“I also wanted to thank you guys for helping Rob the other day,” Sheila said. “Marriage can be hard sometimes, and we kind of fell down the rabbit hole for a few days. It can be hard when you’re separated for long periods of time. But Robby’s working on his…stuff, and I’m working on mine.” She smiled at Rob. “We both realized how much we didn’t want to lose each other.” Sheila turned back to Dane and Lacy. “Thank you for being there for him.”
“Rob’s like a brother to me.” Dane looked at his best friend and diving partner; one tree-trunk arm rested across the back of Charlie’s chair, the other on his lap. A five-o’clock shadow peppered his tanned cheeks. He looked strong and healthy, so much different from when Dane had picked him up at the police station.
“I’d walk to the ends of the earth for him,” Dane said. “He’s a good man, Sheila, and I’m just sorry that I didn’t notice that things were falling apart so I could step in and help.”
“Thanks, Dane,” Rob said with a flush on his cheeks.
“We all have our rough patches. We’ll work on schedules, Sheila. I know it’s rough with the kids, and I appreciate you allowing Rob to travel so much. I don’t know what I’d do without him,” Dane said.
“Neither do we,” Sheila said, turning a warm gaze to Rob.
DANE AND LACY said good night to Rob, Sheila, and the kids, and then they drove to the cottage to take a walk along the beach. The temperature had dipped as the evening wore into night, and they snuggled against each other as they walked on the cold sand.
“I really like Sheila a lot. I’m looking forward to hanging out with her and the kids tomorrow,” Lacy said.
“I’m glad. She’s a really nice person, and Rob’s a great guy, despite his recent issues,” Dane said.
“I know. You don’t have to try to sell me on him. I like him a lot, and it’s obvious how close you two are,” Lacy said.
“Were you okay back there? I thought I picked up on something…” Dane let the sentence hang in the air between them.
Lacy wrapped her arm in his and rested her head against his shoulder. “I had a talk with Danica tonight. She brought up some stuff that’s probably way too early to be thinking about, but now I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“What kind of stuff?” Dane asked.
“Like what happens when this trip is over.” Lacy looked up at him.
Dane stopped walking and faced her. Her eyes were wide and worried as they searched his. He held on to her, probably too tight, but the thought of losing her again rattled his nerves.
“I’ve been thinking about that, too,” he admitted. “I don’t know if it’s too early to think about it or not, but it’s where my mind traveled…” He shrugged. “Hell, Lacy, seeing you with Rob’s kids made me think all sorts of things that are probably wrong to think about so soon.”
“Yeah? Like what?” she asked.
Kids, marriage, growing old together. He didn’t want to scare her off, but he wanted her to know how immense his feelings had grown.
“The same kind of thing. What’s next. Kids.”
Lacy touched his chest and smiled. “Kids? Really?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I was watching you with Katie and Charlie, and for the first time ever, my mind put me and children together in the same sentence, led by you.”
“I love kids.” Lacy’s eyes lit up. “Gosh, you’re thinking even further ahead than I am.”
Dane pulled her close and kissed her lightly on the lips. “I don’t know what it is between us, but I can see us together when we’re old and gray. What I can’t imagine is a life without you by my side.”
“Me either,” Lacy said. “It’s the in between I can’t figure out.”
“I’m not sure what the answer is. I know you love your job. Hell, you came here to save your career.”
“I came here to be with you,” Lacy said.
“I’m just a bonus to your fluffy little vacation on the Cape. Oh, and a path to a promotion,” he teased.
“You’ve got me all figured out. So, Mr. Braden, what happens after the fluffy little vacation is over?”
I wish I knew.
They walked hand in hand. The sounds of crashing waves filled the gap in their conversation.
“We’ll have to make better travel plans,” he said. “See each other at least once each month.”
“Once a month?” Lacy shot a worried look at him.
“Lace, I travel all the time. You know that. I want to be with you every second, but short of you quitting and traveling with me…”
She turned away.
He’d been afraid to even approach the subject because she’d been adamant about how much she loved her job, but now, he couldn’t not ask.
“Would you consider that? Coming with me? I’d like nothing more than to have you by my side every second—I know you can’t be on the boat while I tag, but every other second.”
Lacy’s arm stiffened. She bit her lower lip, and when she turned to face Dane, it was sadness that he saw, clear and present, in her heavenly eyes.
“It’s okay, Lacy. We’ll figure something out,” he assured her, though he had absolutely no idea how they ever could.
“Can we see each other more often? Once every two or three weeks? I can come to you once each month and you can come to me.”
Her pleading tone pulled at his heart. “We can try, but realistically, going to Maui or even Florida for a weekend can be exhausting if you’re doing it all the time, just like flying from those places to Massachusetts would be.”
“Do you want to see me more often?” she asked.
Dane dropped to one knee and held her hand in his.
“Dane?” Lacy’s other hand flew to her mouth.
“Lacy Snow, I want you by my side every second of every day. I know you promised not to fall in love with me, so will you friend me?” He smiled, then added, “Will you friend-with-benefits me? Forever?”
Lacy laughed. “What does that mean? Like on Facebook?”
Dane stood again and brushed off his slacks. “Come with me. You don’t ever have to admit to falling in love with me. Just live with me. Be with me. Be my friend-who-can’t-be-in-love-with-me forever.” He was sure they both were way past the friendship pact, but he was afraid a real marriage proposal might scare her off. Still, hope soared through his chest as he thought about the possibilities. “We’d wake up together every day, Lace. Spend our free time knocking around villages or reading, or whatever. I don’t care what we do. I just want you there with me. What do you say?”
Her smile faded, taking Dane’s hope with it.
DANE’S FRIENDSHIP PROPOSAL stole the wind out of Lacy’s lungs. Was he serious? Give up her job and travel with him? What would she do all day? She couldn’t go on the boat with him when he was working. What about all the years she’d worked her ass off for World Geographic? That meant something to her. It meant a hell of a lot to her. She looked at Dane’s hopeful eyes, the way h
is chest heaved up and down with each excited breath. God, she wanted to jump into his arms and say, Yes! Yes! I’ll be your friend-who-can’t-be-in-love-with-you forever! But how could she do that?
“I never expected a friend forever proposal,” she said.
“I didn’t expect to give you one,” he admitted. Dane touched her cheek. “A pact is a pact,” he teased.
“Like blood sisters when you cut your palm and mix your blood with your best friend’s,” Lacy joked, but inside she wasn’t laughing. She didn’t know how to navigate their relationship into the future, even though she wanted to do exactly that. “Dane, would you give up your career for me?”
“Come on, Lace. I built an entire foundation from nothing,” he explained.
She nodded. “I know.”
“Think of the life we’d have together. We could go anywhere,” he said.
“As long as there are sharks,” she pointed out.
“Okay, you have a point, but, Lace, the alternative is being together part-time,” he said.
“What if something happened to you? What if I gave up everything and, I don’t know, you get eaten by a shark or something?” Lacy realized the viability of her question, and she clenched her jaw to keep the new worry from taking over.
“Lacy, that’s not going to happen. I told you, my job is less risky than driving down the street.”
“But what if?” she asked. “Then I’d have given up everything, and I’d have no home, no stability. No job.” No Dane. OhGodohGodohGod.
He stepped closer, resting his forehead against hers, just as he’d done after they’d made love. His whisper was a caress to her tumbling heart as it careened out of control toward the edge of a cliff she desperately wanted to avoid.
“I’m careful, Lace. I won’t let anything happen. Rob wouldn’t let anything happen to me.”
Sea of Love (Love in Bloom: The Bradens, Book 4) Contemporary Romance Page 21