She didn’t want to think about it anymore. Sheila had been clear about what a part-time relationship did to a family. Then again, Rob and Sheila were working things out, so maybe there was hope. Lacy wondered if she could—or should—give up her job. She needed time to think, but her mind was running in circles.
“Don’t worry, Lace. We’ll figure this out together. I know how important your job is to you, and I know how much Fred respects your abilities. I don’t want to jeopardize your happiness or your career. But honestly, I don’t want to lose you, either. We’ll figure it out.” He kissed her forehead. “Let’s go back to the cottage and fall asleep in each other’s arms. No sex, no deep discussions. Let’s just be close.”
Lacy felt like they were trapped in a bubble of unanswered questions with a future that didn’t seem attainable just outside. If only we could find the answers and pop the bubble so we could grasp our future and hold on tight.
Chapter Twenty-Five
DESPITE THE UNANSWERED questions that spun in her mind and her heart unraveling a little more with each passing minute, when they’d arrived back at the cottage, Lacy had fallen asleep in Dane’s arms just as he’d suggested, and surprisingly, she’d slept right through the night.
Dane awoke in a full sweat. He shot straight up in bed, and Lacy followed.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. She watched his eyes dart around the room.
“Just a bad dream. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said.
“Want to talk about it?” she asked.
He climbed from the bed and grabbed a towel from the bathroom. “It was my mom. She was right there with me, like she was in all the pictures at my dad’s house. She was pushing me from behind.” He washed his face and came back to the bedroom. “God, I haven’t dreamed of her in years.”
“Maybe you’re really missing her right now because you were thinking about our future and having kids,” Lacy said.
He smiled and touched her cheek. “Maybe.”
“You’d better get ready. The alarm should go off in five minutes. I want to get ready early, too. I’m going to stop by that toy store in town and pick up a few things for Katie and Charlie before I meet them.” She touched his side as she walked into the bathroom. “I’m really looking forward to spending the day with them. I think it’ll be fun. What’s the plan after you’re done? Do you want to call me?”
He wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed the back of her neck. “Yeah, I want to call you. I always want to talk to my friend.”
“Then I hope I’m the only friend you’re talking with,” Lacy teased.
“I was thinking that we might go to the concert at Nauset Beach tonight.” He turned her in his arms and kissed her lips.
“That sounds like fun. Can we ask Rob and Sheila to come? Kids love the beach, and most kids like music. I bet they’d have a blast,” she said. “Well, if they don’t get worn-out at the fair.”
“God, I l…like you,” he said.
“Careful now. No breaking our promise.” The pact had become a joke, but Lacy felt that it was also a way for them to skirt around their real feelings, and while she was as keen as the next person when it came to jokes, in her heart she longed to hear him say those three words that tickled her tongue every time she was in his arms.
KATIE HELD LACY’S hand in one hand and tucked the stuffed bear Lacy had brought her under her other arm as they walked through the Barnstable County Fair. Every few steps, she did a little skip, sending her pigtails bouncing. Charlie walked beside Sheila, his lanky arms dangling by his sides and a brooding frown on his pink lips.
“I wanna ride the big roller coaster.” Charlie pouted.
“You’re a little too short. Remember? You have to be as tall as the wooden bear was,” Sheila reminded him.
Charlie had been just a few inches shorter than the required height, and he hadn’t let it go since. “How about the petting zoo?” Lacy asked.
“Animals are for babies,” Charlie said. With his light skin and a spray of freckles across his nose, he reminded Lacy of Alfalfa from The Little Rascals. She’d had a difficult time finding an appropriate toy for him, as he was too old for stuffed animals and she wasn’t sure what he liked, but he seemed to enjoy the Matchbox truck she’d bought him, which was clenched within his fist.
“Babies? I love animals and I’m not a baby,” Lacy said.
“Charlie, be nice.” Sheila wore a pair of navy blue shorts and a colorful tank top. Her long hair flowed freely down her back, and after reprimanding Charlie, she mouthed, Sorry, to Lacy.
Lacy mouthed back, It’s okay.
“Animals! Animals!” Katie yelled.
“Sheila, why don’t you take Katie in, and I’ll hang out here with Charlie,” Lacy offered.
“Animals are for babies, but I’m big enough to watch Katie.” Charlie stuck his chin out at Sheila and reached for Katie’s hand. “I’ll take her in.”
Sheila scanned the petting area, which was separated into an area for children only and an area for adults and children. “Great idea, Charlie. Why don’t you take her into that one? I trust you, Charlie. You hold her hand and stay with her every second. I’ll stand right here and watch. Katie, give me your bear.”
They watched the kids go through the gate. Charlie held Katie’s hand so tight that his arm looked rigid, and Katie stared up at him adoringly. Lacy leaned against the fence.
Sheila shook her head. “Am I a horrible mother for letting him take her in alone?”
“What? No. You’re a good mother. Anyone can see that,” Lacy assured her. “He needs to feel important, and letting him take her makes him feel that way.”
“Even though I kind of tricked him and had him take her into the children-only area?”
“Look at them,” Lacy said.
They watched the kids petting a baby goat. Katie giggled when the goat touched her with his nose, and Charlie stepped between the goat and Katie, then asked Katie if she was okay.
“They’re happy, and he feels valued and grown-up. I’d say that’s good parenting. Now, if you’d have wandered off to smoke a cigarette and drink a beer while they were in there, then you might qualify as a sucky mom.”
Sheila sighed. “Thanks, Lacy. I’m just sidetracked, I guess.”
“With all the stuff you and Rob have been dealing with, I think you wouldn’t be human if you weren’t knocked a little off-kilter.”
“I guess.” Sheila waved to the kids. “Did Rob tell you and Dane why I needed a break?”
Lacy shook her head, wondering exactly how they’d gotten back together so quickly.
“Because for fourteen years I’ve worried. Every time he leaves for a trip, I wonder what’s going to happen to him. I don’t worry about women or any of the other silliness that people worry about, but life and death, that’s hanging over our heads every time my husband goes to work.” Sheila wiped her eyes and looked at Lacy.
Shit.
“You don’t worry about Dane?” Sheila asked.
“Sure I do, but he’s assured me that he’s careful. He says that there’s—”
“A better chance of getting hit by a car than bitten by a shark. I’ve heard it all a million times. For all these years, Rob has done what he loves doing, and to hell with what it does to the people who love him,” Sheila said.
“Sheila, Rob cares. Besides, you knew what he did when you married him, right?” Lacy asked.
“Yeah. Before Brave, he worked with another company. That one went under, and sometimes I wish Brave would do the same.” She looked up at Lacy with sad eyes. “I know how awful that sounds. You know what Dane does. You know the risks. Is it stopping you from being with him?”
Lacy shook her head. “I’m not sure anything could keep me from him.”
“That’s the problem,” Sheila said. “I’d do anything to be with Rob. He’s my Superman. I still get butterflies when I see him, but now I worry about the kids needing him around more often.
You’re lucky. Dane’s a lot younger than Rob. His reflexes are still fast. He’s virile and focused. Lately, Rob’s slowing down. He’s getting tired. He’s had a long career doing what he loves. I’d just like for him to do something else now. Something safer.”
“He loves you and the kids, Sheila,” Lacy said.
Sheila nodded. “He does. He adores us, and last night he told me he’d decided that I was right. I think we both needed time to clear our heads so we could see things more clearly. We realized that we couldn’t live without each other, and Rob realized that it was time for a change. He’s giving Dane a month’s notice after the dive today.”
“Really? Dane will be devastated,” Lacy said.
“He will, and I feel bad, but it’s time,” Sheila said.
“See, the fact that he made that decision shows you that what you have is true love,” Lacy said. Neither of us is willing to give up anything. Does that mean we don’t have true love? She swallowed the thought. “I’m so glad you guys have worked it out.”
Lacy hugged Sheila, silently pushing her concerns out of her head. Those were Sheila’s worries, but they weren’t Lacy’s. Lacy hadn’t spent fifteen months worried about if Dane was going to live through each day. She’d been too busy lying in wait, wanting to see him, longing to hear his voice—and working her butt off just to keep from worrying about the women it turned out he hadn’t even been with.
Chapter Twenty-Six
DANE AND ROB donned their wet suits like second skins. Dane’s head was clear as he prepared for one of his favorite dives—the free dive. Bubbles from regulators tended to spook sharks, but with free diving, there were no oxygen tanks. There were no bubbles. Dane and Rob had spent years honing their free diving abilities, until each of them could hold their breath for almost five minutes. Dane could hold his breath even longer, pushing five and a half on his best days. Today they were accompanied by three members of a local dive team, one to watch the boat and two for dive assistance.
“Hey, man, I was gonna wait and talk to you after the dive, but I gotta tell you something,” Rob said to Dane. His wet suit stretched tight across his thick barrel chest, and when he crossed his arms, the suit looked as if it were painted on his muscular biceps.
“Sure. Shoot.” Dane sat on the deck and rested his arms on his knees.
“You know Sheila’s been asking me to stop diving for the last two years,” Rob began.
“Yeah, I know. You said you dealt with that already.” Shit.
“Yeah, well.” Rob ran his hand through his thick brown hair and dropped his eyes. “The thing is, she’s worried about the kids. She said Charlie’s having a hard time, and she can’t take all the worrying anymore every time I go to work. That’s why she needed a break, Dane. She said it’s too hard. She worries, and with the kids getting bigger and needing me around.” He shrugged.
“What are you saying, Rob?”
“She only came back because I told her that I’d quit. I’m old, Dane. You know that,” Rob said.
“Bullshit. Taggers do it until they’re in their seventies. You’re the one who told me that. You said you’d tag way past when you could fuck, and I know you can still fuck, Rob.” Dane looked away. He was well aware of Sheila’s concerns and how they’d grown over the past two years, but he never would have guessed that Rob would quit. He figured he had at least another ten years with him.
“I’ve gone over it a hundred times. I can’t see any other way. She left me, Dane. Up and left. Took my kids. You saw what that did to me. It sent me right over the edge. I can’t afford to be in that place, and losing my family would do that to me. If she left for good, I’d be back on the bottle in no time.” Rob held Dane’s stare. “We’ve had a good run of it.”
“Had a good—Rob, do you hear yourself? Shit.” Dane stood and paced. “Maybe you should have waited to tell me. How the hell are we gonna be placid down there with this shit hanging over us?”
“This shit is my life, Dane.” Rob rose to his feet, planting his hands on his wide hips.
Dane looked at him and shook his head, then blew out a frustrated breath. “I’m sorry. I get it. I don’t want you to lose your family. You know that. But hell, Rob, I don’t want to lose you either. You’re my partner, man. We’re like two sides of a coin. We don’t balance without each other.” He swung his arm over Rob’s shoulder. “This is really the only option?”
Dane felt as if his left leg had been ripped off, but if Rob were Rex, Treat, or any of his siblings, he’d support his decision to be with his family, and damn if Rob wasn’t just as important to Dane as they were. He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly.
“So I guess this is our last dive mission together?” he asked.
Rob shrugged. “As I said, I can’t see another way around it.” He scrubbed his face with his hands. “Man, if there were any other way…”
Dane heard the defeat in his low voice. “It’s okay, Rob. It sucks ass, but you’re right. Family has to come first.” His mind drifted to Lacy, and no matter how he turned it over in his mind, he knew that if they’d had a family and she said she’d leave, he’d probably do the same damn thing. “Hell, does it have to be all or nothing?”
“Whaddaya mean?” Rob asked.
“I’ll still need a guy to run the boat, someone to work the deck. No water work. No tagging, no diving. Would Sheila be okay with that?” Dane hoped Rob would take him up on the offer. Losing Rob altogether would be too much for Dane to handle. It would really feel like losing one of his siblings.
“Not sure,” Rob said. “I can’t see why not, but, Dane, you’d have to raise more funds. You’d have to hire another diver and train them. You probably can’t absorb the extra expense.”
Rob knew about Dane’s trust fund, and he also knew how Dane felt about dipping into it. But for Rob, Dane didn’t care if he had funding or not. He’d make it happen. “Dude, what does my dad always say?”
“Family knows no boundaries,” Rob said with a smile.
“That’s right. And you and Sheila are family. If Sheila okay’s with it, then it’s a done deal. And we’ll work out a schedule where you’re home most of every month. I need you around a little, too. Like a security blanket.” Dane nudged his arm.
Rob pretended to punch Dane in the gut. “Sissy.” He laughed. “Thanks, man.” “Hey, let’s take another half an hour and chill before we dive,” Dane suggested. With free diving, the diver needed to be in a calm mental state. They needed to be balanced. If either Dane or Rob was feeling agitated, he would jeopardize the dive.
“Good. I was just thinking the same thing,” Rob said.
Thirty minutes later, Dane was breathing easier and Rob was joking with one of the other divers, which further eased Dane’s mind. He took stock of his own emotions. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, weighing his frustrations. Rob was doing what he had to do. He loved Rob, and the last thing he wanted was for him to end up on the bottle for good. He’s doing the right thing. Dane opened his eyes feeling calm and confident.
He patted Rob on the back. “Are you gonna be okay on this dive? You wanna sit out?”
“I’m good,” Rob said. “Let’s do this.”
While the other two divers donned their gloves, boots, and wet suits and prepared their spear guns and goggles, Dane and Rob slipped into the murky water, knowing that after they descended, the other divers would remain at the water’s surface, flapping their hands and kicking their feet to attract sharks, and if that didn’t work, they’d throw a bit of chum in the water.
Dane and Rob kicked straight down, descending about forty feet, where they reached neutral buoyancy. The ocean stopped pushing them toward the surface and started pulling them toward the floor. With their arms by their sides, they sank effortlessly to the ocean floor. Rob swam away to Dane’s right. They crossed their legs and waited on the sandy bottom. After only a minute, Dane saw the dark shadowy figure of a shark approaching. He ascended slowly, knowing Rob would be doin
g the same. The shark was twenty feet away, ten, and nearing quickly.
This sucker's about nine feet. Dane looked for Rob, and in the murky depths, he made out a figure a football field away to his right, rising parallel to him. They rose in sync with each other to a depth of roughly twenty-five feet. The shark torpedoed past Rob, and Dane saw Rob change directions, ascending at an angle toward the boat. A breath away from Dane, the shark shot up toward the surface. Dane followed in its wake through the murky water. The shark disappeared from view. Two minutes. Dane spotted the diver’s feet kicking at the surface . He scanned the area for Rob, searching for the familiar blur of his powerful legs kicking, his streamlined body angling upward, but Rob was nowhere in sight. He turned to his left, then to his right, wishing the water were clearer. His line of sight was too murky. He squinted, trying to pull Rob’s shape from the depths of the sea, when the shark burst through the darkness and sped past Dane. Dane shot toward the right, then spun around and searched again for Rob—and spotted him floating lifelessly, his arms out to his sides, his neck hanging limply forward. Fear shocked him into action. Dane swam faster than he ever had to Rob’s side, his heart hammering against his chest, emergency procedures running through his mind. He grabbed ahold of Rob beneath his armpits and kicked for all he was worth toward the surface. Damn it. Move. Move. Hang on, buddy! Hang on! His lungs burned. His muscles were on fire despite the cold water as he kicked against the helpless weight of Rob’s body. Every foot he ascended felt like a mile as he pushed his lungs past their limit and silently prayed for Rob’s life to be spared. The other divers came into view. Dane couldn’t think past the need to get Rob out of the water. The divers swept down a few feet from the surface. They grabbed Rob and pulled his lifeless body into the boat. Dane burst through the surface gasping for air. Rob. Save Rob. He pushed through the dizziness that threatened to steal his ability to think and hauled himself into the boat. Each breath burned deeper than the one before.
Sea of Love (Love in Bloom: The Bradens, Book 4) Contemporary Romance Page 22