“I was kind of waiting for you to tell me the answer. I never knew life, work, relationships, or death had a point,” his father said.
Dane kicked his feet up on the railing. “Good, then I’m not alone in this quandary.”
“Son, you’re never alone in anything. You know that. Your brothers and sister are worried sick about you. Max had to practically tie up Treat to keep him from chasing after you these last few days. He said you shouldn’t be alone, but your mother—” He took a deep breath. “I thought that you needed this time to think.”
Hearing his father stop himself from mentioning what his dead mother thought made Dane smile. He and his siblings were used to the messages their father received from beyond their mother’s grave. Dane didn’t know if he believed in his father’s supposed connection with his mother or not, but if she was what allowed him his privacy this past week, then he was thankful.
“Thanks, Dad. I think I need about a year, but since that’s not reasonable, I’ll take what I can get,” Dane said.
“Rob’s doing okay, I hear.”
Dane could always trust that Braden grapevine to ensure news traveled swiftly. He knew the information about Lacy wouldn’t be far behind.
“He is. He’s going home soon.”
“Glad to hear it. I’ve always liked Rob and Sheila,” he said. “And Lacy Snow?”
Dane stood and paced. He knew the question was coming, but it still hit him like a punch to the gut.
“She’s back at home. You know, work and all that.”
“Uh-huh. Son, did you ever figure out what your heart wanted?”
“Yeah, I did, Dad, but sometimes that’s not all that matters,” Dane said.
“Oh, no? Damn, Dane, I wish you had been around to tell me that when I was a teenager and fought to be able to date your mother. You could have saved me weeks of headache, and come to think of it, a black eye, too.”
Dane sat back down and leaned his elbows on his knees. “A black eye?”
“Sometimes love hurts, son. There’s no two ways around it. But it was worth every painful second, and I’d do it all over again if I could have her back in my arms,” his father said.
“I know you miss Mom.”
“Every minute of every day, but that’s because she was stolen from me. I’d never have sent her away. Like I said, I’d have done anything to be with her.”
Dane sat back again and looked out at the waves rolling in against the shore. His father knew what he had done. Thanks, Treat. He might as well face it head-on.
“I did the right thing, Dad, and I think that’s one reason I never allowed myself to get to close to anyone before. I never knew if I’d return after leaving. Think about it. Think about my job,” Dane said.
“You told me it’s safer than driving down the street and, son, if you tell me that, no matter how much bull I think it is, I’ll accept it as true, because you wouldn’t lie to your father.”
Dane closed his eyes again, trying to escape the truth and knowing he couldn’t. “Statistically, it is safer. But now…”
“Now you think otherwise?” his father asked.
“Now I see it from a different perspective. Seeing Rob’s family hanging on a ledge while he teetered between life and death, that’s perspective, Dad. I don’t ever want to be the cause of that kind of pain.”
“You’re a smart man, Dane, and I’ve been the one hanging on the ledge. Hell, I spent years hanging on the ledge,” his father began.
Mom.
“You know, if I could have loved someone else, maybe I would have. If I could have had some notice…You know that’s the thing that stinks the most. There’s no advance notice to shit like what happened to your mom or to Rob. It just happens. If we could have had notice and avoided it, that would have been great. Then I could have…I don’t know…divorced her? Sheila could have run away from the pain of it? Right, son? Is that the answer?” Hal’s voice rose as he spoke.
“That’s not what I meant,” Dane said.
“That’s exactly what you meant. Why love someone if something might happen to you and you’ll be the cause of their pain?”
“Damn it, Dad.” Do you always have to point out the obvious? “I made my decision.”
“I know you did. But is it one you can live with?” his father asked.
Dane didn’t answer.
“Dane, we all come with an expiration date. We just don’t know when our number’s gonna come up. But I can tell you this, and you can bet your ass it’s true. Loving your mother was the best damn thing that ever happened to me aside from you children. And maybe she’s even better than each of you, because without her, you wouldn’t be alive. And even though we had years of too many hospital stays and teetering on ledges, in those few years we had together, that woman filled my heart enough to hold me over for my whole life. Hell, she filled my heart until it overflowed. How do you think I found the strength to carry on and raise all of you nitwits?”
Dane smiled at the term. His father had called them that as kids when they did stupid things like trying to sled off of the barn roof. Tears pressed forth again. He was so fucking lonely for Lacy, and so goddamn sad without her. He’d cried daily since he sent Lacy away, and he was beginning to get used to the brutal emotions that plagued him.
He mustered the courage to speak through the longing that ripped at his soul. “Remember when Mom died?” he asked.
“That’s a time I’ll never forget.” His father’s solemn voice coalesced with the memory of his mother’s passing and the first few weeks of getting used to a house where when he yelled, Mom, no one would answer.
“It hurt so bad.” Dane sobbed silently into the night, swiping at hot tears and wishing his father were there to wrap him in his strong arms, as he had so many years ago.
“I know, son,” his father said softly. “You needed time alone then, too. Do you remember running away?”
“Yes,” Dane whispered through his tears.
“That’s always been your way. Climb into your shell until you think it’s safe to come out. I’m sorry, Dane,” his father said. “You know your mother would want me to push you one way or the other, but I’m not going to do that.”
Dane ran his hand over his face, remembering the dream he’d had about his mother doing just that. Pushing him forward.
“I wish life were easier, and I wish love came with guarantees. But sometimes the only right answer is the one with the most risks. It’s the one that scares the shit out of you but won’t let you go.”
“I love her so much, Dad. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love Lacy. She’s always right there on my mind. I can feel her beside me when she’s not there, and I can hear her voice in the middle of the night. Dad, am I losing my mind?”
“No, you’re not losing your mind. You’re in love, and love does strange things to a man. I think you have your answer,” his father said.
“I feel like going home without her will kill me. I can’t even leave the state,” Dane admitted.
His father took a deep breath, and when he spoke, the strength had returned to his voice. “Luckily, the woman you love is still on this earth. You have a choice to make, son. Can your heart live without her?”
“There’s no piece of me that can live without her,” Dane admitted.
Chapter Thirty-Five
LACY SAT ON the edge of the hospital bed, a bandage on her left arm and her head thundering. Every part of her body felt as though it had been slammed against a brick wall, and all she could think about was how fast the accident had happened. Just like Rob. Lacy held the hospital phone against her ear.
“I called your insurance company and they’re arranging for a rental car for you. The police report is being faxed and, Lacy, I wish I could be there with you. Are you sure you don’t want me to fly there for a day or two?” Danica asked.
“Thanks for calling them, but there’s no need for you to come here. I’m fine, just sore. That car came out of nowhere. I
never saw it coming.” Just like the shark.
“The cop said the driver ran a red light and that you were lucky your car spun out instead of rolling.”
Lacy tried to concentrate on what Danica was saying, but her thoughts were trapped in a tunnel. It happened so fast. I never saw it coming. Just like the shark. Danica’s words came back to her. You’ll see some kind of sign, and it will push you both in the right direction. Dane’s smile flashed before her. Less risky than driving down the street.
“I could have died,” Lacy said.
“Yeah, I guess you could have,” Danica said.
“Just like that, and then what?” Lacy scanned the empty room. “Then what?” She hopped off of the bed and grabbed her purse with her free hand. “If I had died, then what, Danica?”
“Lace, you’re scaring me.”
“I’ll tell you what. I would have died feeling sad and lonely and without the one person I want to be with. Without the man I love,” Lacy said. Without Dane.
The curtained enclosure opened, and a young nurse walked in. “I’m sorry, but can you please keep it down?”
“Do I need to sign out somewhere in order to leave?” Lacy asked.
The nurse checked her chart. “Yes, I think that’s where your doctor went, to authorize your release.”
“Great. Thank you.”
“Lacy, do you want me to call you a cab?” Danica asked. “Why are you so mad? And why do you sound like you’re rushing?”
“I need a cab but, Danica, I don’t have my cell. Are you calling me from work?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“Good. Can you text Dane for me and ask him where he is?” It could happen to anyone. Anytime. In any profession.
“Sure, but I need his number. Why?” Danica asked.
Lacy gave her his cell number from memory, and Lacy realized that she’d memorized just about everything about Dane without even trying. She closed her eyes and recalled the scent of him. “You said the universe would give me a sign. I don’t think a sign could be any clearer than this.”
“Hold on. I just got his text.”
Lacy’s heartbeat sped up as she waited.
“He said he’s still at the Cape. He’s staying at Treat’s cottage in Wellfleet,” Danica said. “He wants to know why I asked. Should I tell him about your accident?”
“God no. Don’t tell him about the accident. Just make something up. Tell him that Blake’s going to Florida, and you wondered if he was there so the two of them could get together for dinner.” Lacy’s eyes darted across the floor. “Everything in life has risks. I get that now, and I’m not going to change who I love because of them. I can’t. I just can’t.” Lacy was talking to herself more than Danica. “I’m not sitting around feeling sorry for myself because Dane has a risky career. My accident proved his point ten times over. God, I have to get a phone. And make a plan.”
“Lacy, what are you gonna do?”
“What I should have done a week ago.” Lacy blinked away tears.
Chapter Thirty-Six
AN HOUR AFTER talking to his father, Dane packed his bags and headed off the Cape. He’d been there long enough. He couldn’t hide from his feelings forever. He’d put his career first for his entire adult life, and now it was time to put something else first. Or rather, someone else first.
He picked up his cell to call Lacy and then set it back down in the center console. He hadn’t contacted her since the day he’d asked her to leave. She probably won’t take my call. He considered asking Danica to step in, but he’d already pulled that favor once with the therapeutic advice, and he felt bad that he wasn’t in Florida to meet Blake.
Once he was off the Cape and on the highway, he stopped at the first exit, grabbed a Diet Coke, and texted Lacy, I’m an ass. Can we talk? I miss u.
He got back on the highway, set his GPS, and continued driving.
NOTHING WAS GOING as Lacy had hoped. The cab took forever to arrive at the hospital, the employee at Sprint moved slower than molasses, and it had cost her a fortune for the cab to wait, although she was glad to have a replacement phone. Once she charged it, she’d put her plan into action. Thankfully, the employee at the car rental company moved quicker than the Sprint employee. By six o’clock, she was back at home and charging her new phone.
She picked out three outfits and tossed them into a backpack, then headed into the bathroom to take a quick shower. She didn’t want to waste time, but she couldn’t make her big entrance with dried blood smeared on her arm. She stripped off her dirty clothes and glanced in the mirror. Her breath caught in her throat. Her hair looked like she’d been caught in a wind tunnel, all frizz and no curl. Her forehead was streaked with dirt and blood, and her chest and upper arms were already showing black-and-blue marks. Combine that with the bags under her eyes from a week of no sleep, and she would surely frighten small children. She’d been so frenzied to get her errands done and get to Dane that showering hadn’t even crossed her mind.
Her cell phone buzzed like it was on steroids. It’s finally charged. Lacy hurried to the bedside table and watched as messages came in one after another. She scrolled through the messages, grateful that the mediocre Sprint employee had been able to transfer her contacts from her broken phone. Danica, Fred, Danica, Kaylie, Danica, Danica, Kaylie, Kaylie, Fred, Dane, Danica, Danica, Dane, Dane. Dane? She scrolled back up and stared at his number. Her pulse raced as she read the messages.
I’m an ass. Can we talk? I miss u. Lacy lowered herself to the bed. He misses me. He misses me!
Half an hour later, Lace, I’m sorry. I haven’t slept in a wk. Have you?
Her lower lip trembled as she shook her head. She checked the time the next text had arrived. Forty minutes after the last. I’m not giving up on us. I know ur mad and hurt, but I love u more than sharks.
Lacy laughed. She began texting back, Sorry my phone broke. I miss u 2. I’m not ma—
A knock at the door interrupted her text. She peered out the window and saw Dane’s car parked on the street. Lacy reached up and touched her hair. She rushed to the mirror and tried to pull her hair back. Shitshitshit. Goose bumps rose on her arms. Fluttering started in her stomach and found its way to her chest. She carried the phone out of the bedroom, her hair, her pain, the accident forgotten, and she reached a trembling hand toward the doorknob. As she pulled it open, Dane’s voice filtered in.
Dane stood before her with sorrow in his eyes, and behind that sorrow she saw hope and an immeasurable amount of love. “I’m here, Lace.”
Hearing his voice after being without him for so long weakened her knees, and she fumbled for the doorknob for support.
“Me too. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere,” she said. She couldn’t believe he was there. The last week felt like a year, and just like that, she was thrown back to when they’d spoken every night, and the rush of excitement hadn’t faded. If anything, it had grown stronger, as evident by her inability to stop her hands from shaking.
“I miss you.” Dane took a step forward. “I’m so sorry, Lace, and I know you don’t have to forgive me for sending you away, but I wasn’t myself, babe. I was so lost with everything that happened to Rob and what Sheila was going through, and I couldn’t imagine you in her place.”
She wanted to fall into his arms, but she couldn’t move. It was all she could do to speak. “I know. I shouldn’t have left. I should have stood up for us, but I was in shock or something. I don’t know.” She took a deep breath. “Dane, I lied, too.”
Dane’s eyes filled with pain. He drew his eyebrows together and shook his head.
“I fell in love with you, too,” she said.
He closed his eyes and smiled, and when he opened them, his eyes were damp. Dane opened his arms. His eyes never left hers as she walked forward and met his embrace. She breathed in the scent of him, and it felt like she’d come home. Her chest hurt as he held her, but she didn’t dare move. She’d never move away from him again.
; “I love you, Lace. I’ve made all kinds of mistakes, but that’s all done.” He leaned back and looked at her; then he cupped her cheeks in his palms. His eyes searched her face, as if he had only just seen her bruises. “Baby, what happened?” He kissed her forehead.
Her heart soared. “You love me?”
“More than I can express. Yes. I love you, every spec of you, from your kinky hair to the birthmark on the heel of your left foot,” he said.
“You noticed?” she asked. God, I love you.
“The first time you wore flip-flops. It’s adorable.”
“You love me.” He does; he really does. “It was one thing to hear it when you were asking me to leave, but it’s a whole other thing to hear it now,” she said. “Tell me again.”
He looked into her eyes, and before the words came out, she could feel his love surrounding her like a cloak. “Lacy Snow, I love you, now and always. I adore you.”
“Oh, Dane. I love you, too,” she said. She kissed him then, wincing when he held her too tightly.
“Tell me what happened,” he said.
“A car ran into mine when I was leaving work this afternoon.”
“Oh, baby. Why didn’t you call me? Are you okay? Look at you. Let’s get you inside.” He guided her inside, his hand never leaving the small of her back. “I wish you would have called me. I hate thinking of you being scared and hurt without me there.”
“I’m okay. Besides, it was at the hospital that I realized how much I wanted to be with you. I still can’t believe you’re here,” she said. “I was going to shower and come to you. Oh no, the shower. I left it on.” She hurried into her bedroom.
“I spent a year and a half wondering what it would feel like to be in your apartment. It feels right, Lace. It feels good,” he said as he followed her into the bedroom.
“You really were coming to see me?” He held up the backpack.
Lacy came out of the bathroom wearing a robe. “Yes, I was really coming to see you.” She draped her arms around his neck. “And I spent all those months wondering what it would feel like to have you in my bedroom, and you know what? It does feel right.” She kissed him lightly. “I realized when that car hit me that you were right. I was just driving down the street and wham. It happened so fast. I didn’t even have time to think, and then I saw it all so clearly.”
Sea of Love (Love in Bloom: The Bradens, Book 4) Contemporary Romance Page 26