I find Amanda in Sadie’s room, being forced to meet her dolls, one by one. I chuckle and stand against the doorframe to watch. Amanda looks up and winks at me, before going back to the introductions.
“Would you like a glass of wine?” I ask her.
“I’d love one,” she says with a grin. “I’ll come out once I’m allowed to.”
I walk into the kitchen and find the bottle of wine I know I have hiding in the cupboard. I usually prefer beer, but tonight I’m prepared to be classy, if it’s going to score me points. I find two wine glasses and dust them off. Honestly, I’m just impressed that I’m not serving her wine in coffee mugs, or something as equally ridiculous, because it could’ve come to that.
I look up, just in time to see my father knock on the door.
“Here we go,” I mutter under my breath.
I walk over to the door and open it. Dad nods at me, his expression sour as he walks inside. We both stand there making small talk. I make an effort to engage him, but I give up when it’s clear he has no interest in hearing anything I have to say.
“Wine?” I ask bluntly. He nods, so I reach for a mug and half fill it. “Sorry. No glasses.”
He takes it from my outstretched hand, his eyes falling on the two glasses I left sitting on the edge of the counter.
“Where are the kids?” he asks curtly, his arms crossed stiffly over his chest.
“Mason, Sadie. Granddad’s here,” I call out as I fill the two wine glasses.
Sadie comes barreling down the hallway, while Mason casually walks out from his room with his hands shoved deep inside his pockets. He walks over and lets my dad ruffle his hair, while Sadie hugs him so hard that he almost loses his balance.
“Calm down, Sadie,” he chuckles, lifting her into his arms. “I’m an old man, remember? You have to be gentle with me.”
“You’re not old. Daddy is old,” she giggles.
Dad laughs, and I think that comment has made his day. Even I smile, because even with all our differences, I know how much he appreciates and loves the kids. The way his face lights up when he’s around them, I know moving here was the right thing to do.
My father and I have always had a difficult relationship. He didn’t approve of many things I’ve done with my life, including marrying so young. But it didn’t stop there. He hated my career choices, and he criticized everything I did every chance he got.
Most parents would be happy to have a lawyer for a son, but not him. Family was what was important, and you couldn’t put everything into work and family. He told me I worked too hard, and I told him he never worked hard enough. During our biggest argument, I criticized him as a father. I resented him growing up, because I was the kid who never had new shoes or the latest toys. I was bullied because my parents didn’t have money, and I vowed I’d do everything I could to make sure my kids had everything, and I did just that.
My kids had everything. Except me.
Dad looks up, his eyes falling on Amanda. The slightest shadow of disapproval clouds his eyes, but then it’s gone as quickly as it was there.
“Are you going to introduce me to your friend?”
I frown and walk over to Amanda with her glass of wine. She accepts it, her hands shaking, probably because my father’s glare is making her feel so uncomfortable. I hate the judgment in his voice. You’d think I was bringing home a different woman every night, when the reality couldn’t be more different. I haven’t been with anyone since my marriage fell apart, even though my marriage fell to pieces long before it was made official on paper.
“Amanda, this is my father, Wilson. Dad, this is Amanda. She’s new in town.”
I don’t offer any more information because frankly, it’s none of his business. Amanda steps forward and extends her hand. Her smile is infectious, and even Dad can’t help but reciprocate. His expression softens as she speaks to him.
“It’s lovely to meet you, Mr. Hoffman,” she smiles. “Adam has told me so many wonderful things about you.”
“Well, now I know you’re lying,” he says dryly. “I don’t think my son has ever said anything positive about me in his life.” Amanda flushes, and I shoot my father a look.
“Sorry,” he chuckles. “That was uncalled for. I shouldn’t drag you into our dirty laundry. So, where you from, Amanda, and how long are you here for?”
“I’m from Chicago, and the answer to your second question is I’m not sure.” She smiles, and her gaze falters slightly, like she wasn’t expecting to be put on the spot like that. I glance at my father and know he noticed it too. “I guess I just needed a change in scenery. When I found this place, I knew it was exactly what I needed.”
“It is a lovely place,” he agrees. “We have a very tight-knit community here. We treat each other well and look after each other.” He shoots me a look. “Well, most of us do.”
I groan at his dig, because it’s one thing after another with him. He gives me a hard stare, as if daring me to say something. He knows I won’t, not in front of the kids. I glance at Mason, who’s frowning at me. They already pick up on too much. Even back in Chicago nothing ever stayed a secret from them.
“I’ll go get the barbecue on,” I mutter. “Mason do you want to help me?”
“Oh, leave the poor kid alone,” my father chastises. “I’m sure you can manage to cook a few steaks by yourself, Adam.”
“No problem,” I say, gritting my teeth as Mason grins at me. It’s the first time the kid has grinned in weeks, but it’s for all the wrong reasons. A few moments on my own sounds heavenly right now.
I stalk over to the balcony and yank the door open, slamming it shut behind me. I lean against the railing and look out over the water, seething. My hands are shaking, I’m so worked up. I take a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself before I need to go back inside. As much as I’d love to hide out here, I can’t leave Amanda in there with him. She’s already caught in the middle of something that has nothing to do with her. I let out a growl, hitting my hand down hard on the rail, my frustration getting the better of me. I can’t stand it when he undermines me, and he seems to do it every chance he gets.
The door opens, and Amanda tentatively peeks out. She smiles at me and just like that, my bad mood is gone. She walks out to join me, closing the door behind her.
“Can I give you a hand?” she asks, her voice sympathetic.
“Didn’t you get the memo?” I say, dryly. “It’s just a few steaks. I can manage it myself. I’m not even cooking it yet. Hell, the barbeque is down there.” I point down to the yard, and she laughs.
“I don’t blame you for wanting to get away. Things are tense in there,” she says, shaking her head. “You weren’t kidding when you said you two don’t get along. Five minutes in there alone with him felt like hours,” she mumbles with a shiver.
“Sorry about that. He has nothing against you. I’m sorry you’re getting caught up in the crossfire.”
“Why do you put up with him talking to you like that?”
I shrug. “Because I deserve it. That, and he loves the kids. I think having him around is good for them. Mason has said more to him in the last ten minutes than he has to me all week. Hell, the kid actually cracked a smile.”
“Well, that’s great, but I think you’re being too hard on yourself.”
“Maybe. I guess I feel like I owe it to Mase to put up with it. I see him with my father, and I’m jealous.”
“Give him time and he will come around,” she says. She places her hand on the balcony, over mine. I stare at it, enjoying the feel of her soft skin against mine. “I know it feels like it’s taking forever, but you have to let him adjust on his own terms.” I stare at her and smile.
She blushes. “What?”
“Nothing,” I murmur. “I just can’t get over how mature you are.” Her cheeks redden as she smiles at me. She steps closer to me and shrugs, her eyes casting downward.
“I’ve just had a bit of experience with this kind of thing. I g
uess I see things from his point of view. I know how this must be affecting him.”
“I appreciate your advice, I really do. But sometimes I wonder if I’m doing it all wrong,” I mutter. I’d never admit that to anyone else, but I feel like I can tell her anything.
“In most cases, if you’re wondering that then you’re probably doing it right,” she replies.
“Wise words from such a young beauty,” I murmur. She flushes and laughs.
“Beautiful words from such a wise old man,” she fires back. I swat her arm playfully, and she giggles and ducks away from me and leads me to the stairs. “Now. Are we cooking these steaks, or what?”
After lunch, Sadie drags Amanda down to the shore to build sandcastles, while I watch from the balcony. Even Mason’s getting involved, fetching his sister buckets of sand and laughing as Amanda throws water at him.
She fits in so well here.
I know I’m being premature, because honestly, I barely know her, but when I’m around her, it feels right. I cringe, embarrassed at how sappy I’m acting. I sound like a fucking greeting card. I’ve only known the girl for only a few weeks, and she’s ten years younger than me. I have kids, for God’s sake. I’m a middle-aged divorcee with a truckload of baggage. Why would she want any part of that?
I hear the sound of the door sliding open, and I glance over to see Dad joining me on the balcony. I tense, preparing myself for another argument. Every conversation we have seems to end in the two of us bickering. It’s at the point where it’s just easier not to talk to him at all.
“Amanda seems nice,” he muses.
“Here we go,” I mutter.
What is he going to have the biggest problem with? The fact that I’m interested in someone at all, or that she’s so much younger than me? I’m already doubting myself. I don’t need his advice to rub salt into the wound.
“What?” he protests, feigning innocence. “It was a simple comment how nice your lady friend is.”
“She’s not my lady friend,” I growl, scowling at him.
“Right.” He nods with a wince. “Sorry, of course she’s not. She’s too young to be called a lady, considering she’s probably closer to Mason’s age than yours. Is she even legal yet, Adam?”
“Dad, enough,” I say, gritting my teeth.
“Is it?” He frowns, his brow creasing. “Because what I’m seeing has mid-life crisis written all over it.”
“No, mid-life crisis would be leaving your two young kids to go fucking traveling. I’m allowed to move on, aren’t I? That’s what moving here was all about, right? A fresh start?” I let out a bitter laugh. “Oh, wait a minute, I forgot that you’re never going to let me move forward.”
“That’s not fair—”
“No,” I growl, cutting in. “What’s not fair is you attacking me every chance you get. It’s always something with you. If not Amanda, then it would be something else you find to pick apart. I get it, Dad. You’re never going to forgive me. But guess what? I’m never going to forgive my-fucking-self for not being here for her.”
I’m shaking I’m so angry. Dad stares at me, his eyes glassy. He puts his hand out to touch my arm, but I shrug him off.
“It’s those kids I worry about,” he replies gruffly, not looking me in the eye. “They’re vulnerable after everything you’ve put them through. They don’t need to get attached to some woman who isn’t planning to stick around.”
“Sadie loves her,” I protest with a laugh. “And even Mason’s coming around. Besides, did you not hear me say that this is none of your business?”
“When my grandchildren are involved, it is my business. And the fact that the kids like her so much is all the more reason for you to slow this down. How much you know about her? What’s her background? Why is she even here?”
“She told you, to get away,” I growl.
“That’s bullshit, and you know it,” he laughs. “No one ever comes here by accident, Adam. You don’t stumble upon this place and just “decide” to live here. You come here to get away from something. You come here because you’re hiding from something. All I’m saying is take it slow with her. Where’s the harm in that?”
I don’t answer. My jaw clenches as I stare out at the water. I don’t want to admit that he’s right, but I know he is. You do come here to hide from something.
I know that because I’m doing it myself.
After the kids are in bed and I’ve seen my father out, I join Amanda on the porch. She gazes out across the water, so lost in her own thoughts that she doesn’t hear me approach her. My father’s words ring in my ear as I sit down next to her. What is she hiding? She jumps and looks up. When she smiles at me, all my doubts drift away.
“Thanks for today,” she says. “I appreciate it more than you realize. It’s been great spending time with you and your family.”
“I’m glad,” I murmur. She shivers, running her hand over her bare arms. I offer her my jacket, but she shakes her head, so I shift closer to her instead, sliding my arm around her shoulders. “Body heat,” I explain.
“I thought that only works when you’re naked,” she murmurs. I smile and she blushes, looking down at her feet. “I should probably get going before it gets too late,” she says.
“Why don’t you stay here?” I laugh at her expression. “There’s a cabin behind the house that overlooks the beach. It’s really comfortable. I meant that you’re welcome to stay there if you like.”
“Okay,” she says hesitantly. “If you’re sure. I don’t want to put you out.”
“Not at all,” I say.
Truth be told, I want her to stay because I’m not ready for her to leave, and offering her the cabin was the only way I could think to keep her here. She glances at me and smiles. I stand up and take her hand, leading her down the path through the yard. We reach the cabin, and I unlock the door and push it open, clicking on the lights. She walks in and gasps.
“This is beautiful,” she mumbles.
I frown, wishing I had the foresight to prepare the room. It’s clean enough, but I wish I could’ve made it perfect for her. The king bed sits in the corner of the room, below a huge window, and even though it’s dark outside, you can still make out the waves rolling into the sand in the distance.
“It’s probably a little bit more comfortable than where your staying,” I chuckle. “I love Colleen, but the motel isn’t exactly luxurious.”
“I’ve stayed in worse.” She makes a face and screws up her nose. “Well, actually that’s a lie. I haven’t.”
I chuckle, loving her honesty.
“I’ll be right back,” I say. “I’ll grab you some fresh towels for your shower in the morning.”
“Thanks.” She smiles.
Nine
Nina
The moment he’s gone, I lay back and close my eyes, enjoying the luxury of a decent bed. I have to admit, it’s a whole lot more comfortable than the bed at the inn. The moment passes, and I hit panic mode. I sit up, a rush of anxiety hitting me.
What the hell am I doing? Why did I agree to stay here? I shouldn’t have even come over in the first place, and now I’m spending the night at his house? What kind of impression am I giving him? I’m leading him on when I have no intention of taking this any further. Only I know better than anyone that things rarely go the way we intend.
I’m determined not to do anything stupid that I might later regret, but when I’m around him, all my sensibilities seem to go out the window. If it came to that, could I stop myself? Would I want to?
He raps on the open door and peers inside, smiling at me. I jump off the bed and pad over to the door to greet him, taking the bottle of wine he’s holding, along with two glasses.
“I hope you don’t mind. I thought you might like a drink,” he murmurs.
“And my towels?” I tease, biting my lip.
“Shit,” he curses. “I thought I was being so smooth too.”
He walks over to the couch and sits down, placing the
glasses on the table. I hand him the bottle of wine and watch him open it. I sit down next to him, feeling anxious. It’s either I sit here, centimeters away from him, or I sit on the bed. While the distance away from him would be nice, I don’t like what it suggests.
“Are you okay?” he asks. “You seem a little edgy.”
“I’m fine,” I say. “I’m just tired, I guess. It’s been a long day and…”
My voice trails off, because I can’t be honest and tell him what I’m really feeling. The truth is, I’m terrified of being here with him, because I’m certain that he’s going to figure out that I have no idea what I’m doing.
“Does being here make you uncomfortable?” he asks gently. “If you prefer to stay at the motel, that’s fine. I don’t want you to think I’m putting any pressure on you.”
“Not at all,” I assure him, even though I’m feeling all the pressure in the world. None of it is from him. It’s all pressure I’ve put on myself. “I appreciate you letting me stay here, and to be honest, this is five-star luxury compared to there. It’s just…” I swallow, a blush creeping across my cheeks. I can’t exactly tell him how he makes me feel.
“It’s just what?” he asks.
He fills the glasses up and hands me one. I take it, gulping it down because I need the courage. He smirks at me, amused.
“Another?” he offers. I shake my head. I make bad enough decisions sober, the last thing I need is to be drunk and alone with him. “Sadie loves you,” he comments out of the blue. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen her that relaxed around someone other than me and Dad.”
“Really?” That surprises me. “She always seems so well-adjusted.”
“Most of the time I think she’s gone unscathed from this whole divorce, but then I see glimpses of things that make me worry. Tonight, with you, I didn’t see any of that.”
“I’m glad,” I say with a smile. “They both seem to love your father.”
“They do, and he loves them.”
Claiming Nina Page 6