“Touch yourself,” I urge her.
With a cheeky smile, she slides her finger inside her and massages her wetness while still riding me. “I want you to come while I’m inside you,” I murmur, clenching my jaw as her pussy pulsates my cock. The look in her eyes, the way her hair clings to her neck, there all things that are pushing me over the edge. She arches back, thrusting me so deep inside that I see stars. I groan, my cock throbbing as I come hard. She grips hold of my chest, her nails digging into me as she cries out, her body slamming against mine as we come in sync.
I’m still inside her when she lays down on top of me, resting her head on my chest. I kiss her gently as her eyelids grow heavy. She’s fighting to stay awake, but seconds later, she’s given up the fight. I lay there holding her in my arms, wanting nothing more than to spend the night with her. But even though we are feet from the house, I have to be there for the kids in case they need me. Sadie still occasionally wakes up with nightmares. All hell will break loose if she can’t find me. She’d never think to look out here, nor would I expect her to.
I steal a few more minutes alone with Amanda before I ease my arm out from around her shoulders. She stirs, and I hold my breath, but she doesn’t wake. I lean down and kiss her gently on the forehead before creeping out of bed.
I get dressed as quietly and quickly as I can, and then creep toward the door. I ease it open and walk outside, closing it behind me. I could get used to being with her like this. Maybe this was part of my motivation for offering her the job of looking after the kids. Having her so close is a definite bonus. But when it comes down to it, can I separate us from everything else?
I know better than anyone how quickly the lines can blur, but none of that matters, because I’m already too far gone. I feel like nothing in the world can stop us. I’m falling hard, and I couldn’t stop myself, even if I wanted to.
Fifteen
Nina
I sigh, enjoying the cool breeze blowing against my skin as I gaze out over the water. There haven’t been too many days where I could justify wearing a t shirt, but today is no exception. It’s so pretty here when the sun is out. I really do like it here, and not just for the obvious reasons. I blush, thinking of Adam. He’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met, and the more time I spend with him, the more I want to be around him. It’s so easy to forget all my problems when I’m with him. The only problem is, they all come flooding back the moment I’m alone again.
Staying with Adam means I have to get up a little bit earlier for work, but to be honest, I don’t mind. The walk into town is beautiful, especially when I take the scenic route taking the track along the water. It’s so peaceful at this time of the morning. All I can hear is the birds chirping and the sounds of the boats moving across the lake in the distance. I rarely pass anyone, except for maybe the odd jogger or person out for an early walk with their dog.
I’m almost into town when I see a man approaching me. Even though it’s a warm morning, he’s rugged up like it’s snowing, with a thick jacket and a hood covering his face. I tense and look down. I’m not sure why, but something about him is making me feel uneasy. As he nears me, my heart races like I’m waiting for something bad happen, but I smile, wanting to at least paint the picture that he doesn’t scare me.
“Morning,” I say, trying to sound friendly, but noncommittal.
“Morning, Nina,” he replies.
I freeze, because not only did he use my name, but I’d recognize that voice anywhere. He reaches up and lowers his hood, his cold smile matching the stony expression in his eyes. He looks no different than the man who left me at the station weeks ago, but I almost don’t recognize him. I’ve never seen him this angry. At least, never when it’s directed at me.
“Michael.” I gasp. I shake my head, not sure how to react.
I don’t know whether to throw my arms around him and hug the life out of him, or hit him for scaring the crap out of me. I step forward to embrace him, but he backs up, giving me a forced smile. I stare at him, confused.
Nothing about his demeanor is friendly. It’s like he’s a complete stranger, instead of the boy I’ve known for half my life. Why is he acting so weird? How long has he been here? Why didn’t he contact me? The more questions I have, the more annoyed I become. I’ve been worrying about him every single day, and he can’t even seek me out to tell me that he’s in town?
“How long have you been here?” I ask, shaking my head. I can’t stop myself from frowning.
“Long enough,” he murmurs, an edge to his voice.
I flush, not knowing what that’s supposed to mean. Has he seen me with Adam? Has he been watching me all this time? He wanted me to keep to myself. Have I been too involved in the community? Does he think I’ve let people get too close to me? I shake my head and frown at him. I’m driving myself crazy wondering what he’s thinking.
“You’d better hurry,” he says, his voice almost taunting me, “or you’ll be late for work.”
How does he even know about work unless he’s been following me? I feel sick. Has he been watching me this whole time? I think about all those moments when I was intimate with Adam…Oh God, did he see us on the beach? I can’t look him in the eye because I’m so embarrassed.
“What’s going on with you, Michael?” I mutter, shaking my head. “Why wouldn’t you tell me that you were here? I’ve been so worried about you. I didn’t even know if you were alive, for God’s sake.”
“Yes, I could see how worried you’ve been about me,” he mutters his eyes narrowing. “Go to work, Nina. We will talk later. I’d suggest you meet me at the motel after your shift, but we both know you’re not staying there any longer. It’s much more convenient to fuck your boyfriend when you’ve moved into his house, I guess. Lucky you, Nina. Instant family. Such sweet little kids too. It would be terrible if anything happened to them.”
He can be angry at me because of Adam all he likes, but I will not let him threaten those kids. My heart pounds. His whole attitude doesn’t make any sense. I thought he of all people would be happy that I found someone like Adam. Does he think he isn’t good enough for me? Is he jealous? I just can’t work him out.
“I can’t go to work and leave things like this,” I argue, my voice breaking. I will myself to stay strong, because I don’t want him to see how much he’s affecting me. “I’ll call in sick. Let’s go somewhere and we can talk,” I say.
“Are you sure you want to do that?” he says, his tone icy. “I mean, you’ve managed fine without me for the last few weeks, I’m sure you can wait another few hours to hear my story.”
“Don’t be silly. Of course, I’ve missed you,” I reply with a frown. “I’ve been thinking about you every day.” He glares at me, not looking convinced. “Look, just get a room at the motel, and we can go there to talk.”
“Fine,” he says after a moment of silence. “Lead the way.” I nod and walk fast, keen to get this sorted out as quickly as possible.
A shiver races down my spine as he follows me down the alleyway beside the inn. Should I even be alone with him right now? Can I trust him? He clearly has some major issues with me at the moment.
It’s going to be fine. I’m sure this is all a misunderstanding, and as soon as I explain things from my point of view, we can go back to normal. I’ve never seen him like this before, and I’ve known him such a long time. Maybe something happened with my father. God, I’ll never forgive myself if my father hurt him.
We reach the small front office, and Michael insists I go in and pay while he waits outside. If Colleen is surprised to see me back, she doesn’t show it. She gives me the same room as I was in, clearly intent on minding her own business.
I show Michael to the room. He frowns as he looks around, like he was expecting more.
“I can see why you were so quick to jump into your boyfriend’s bed,” he mutters.
“I know it’s not much, but it’s comfortable and it’s clean,” I retort, feeling the need to defend this
place. “I was in this same room.”
“But not quite as comfortable as your boyfriend’s house, huh?” he mutters.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I say quietly.
“Are you sure about that?” he replies. “I’ve seen you with him, Nina. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, the way he smiles at you.” He pauses long enough to stare at me, sadness in his eyes growing. “And I’ve seen the way you look at him. You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”
“I’m not,” protest. “I don’t know him well enough to be in love with him. We’re friends, nothing else.” Am I in love with him? My heart races, giving me my answer. I hate lying to him, but I’m not even sure what it is that I have with Adam, so how can I explain that to Michael? “I didn’t want to get involved with anyone. That’s not why I came here.”
“You came here because I helped you escape from a life you didn’t want,” he growls. “I thought you were waiting for me, Nina. I thought that we were going to leave here and find somewhere together.”
“Together?” I laugh, shaking my head. “You’re like a brother to me, Michael. You’re my best friend.”
“A brother?” he growls, his eyes flashing. “That’s how you see me?”
He leans forward and grabs my shoulders, pressing his lips against mine. It’s a rough kiss that does nothing for me except confirm what I already knew—that there is nothing there. I struggle away, but he’s stronger than me. I gasp as he forces his tongue inside my mouth. Nothing about this kiss is wanted or enjoyed, and finally I find the strength to push him off me. He staggers back while I stand there, my arms wrapped around me, shaking. It was just a kiss, but I feel so violated and confused. What happened to my friend?
“What the hell are you doing?” I growl, tears stinging my eyes. “What are you trying to prove, Michael? That you own me? You help me get away, so now I’m yours? That’s what I was escaping from in the first place,” I cry, spitting the words out. I’m shaking, I’m so angry. Tears roll down my cheeks as I turn away, not wanting him to see that I’m crying.
“Nina,” he says, his voice desperate. “Please. I love you. Surely you knew I was in love with you. Why the fuck would I go to the lengths I did to help you, otherwise? Didn’t you find it strange that I wanted to spend all my time with you? Didn’t you notice there were never any other girls I looked at, only you?” He takes a menacing step toward me. “I’ve waited all my life for this moment, and I get here and find you in the arms of another man? How the fuck do you think that makes me feel?”
“You’re not making any sense,” I say helplessly.
“Sense? You want sense?” he roars. I flinch as he lunges toward me. “You used me. You knew how I felt about you and you used me to get what you wanted, like you always do. You pretend not to be a selfish little bitch who only thinks about herself, but that’s all you are. That’s all you’ll ever be.”
“I didn’t know,” I say, tears streaming down my face. “I never for a moment thought that you felt that way about me. I’ve grown up with you, Michael. You’re like my brother.”
“Stop doing that,” he cries, rubbing his temples. “Stop calling me your goddamned brother. I’m not your brother. A brother wouldn’t think about you the way I do,” he growls.
“What do you want from me?” I ask quietly.
I sit down on the edge of the bed, wanting this to be over. I need to remain calm, because if I keep pushing him, he’s going to snap and I have no idea what he’s capable of.
“I want what you promised me,” he says. “I want what you owe me.”
“Owe you?” I repeat, outraged. “Jesus, you’re worse than my father. If I wanted to owe someone something, I would’ve married the man that he wanted me to marry.”
“Don’t you ever compare me to your father,” he growls. He lunges at me again, his hands wrapping around my throat. “I helped you escape so that I could be with you. I didn’t go through all this to have you fuck me off and shack up with another guy. Fuck that,” he hisses. “You know what I want. I want you to end it with him. End it with him so you can be with me.”
“And if I don’t?” I whisper, tears rolling down my cheeks. As if I could ever be with him after this.
“Then I’ll tell your father where you are and what you’ve been doing. You really want to drag your boyfriend and his poor innocent little kids into your mess? You know what your father is capable of, don’t you?”
He’s right. But as much as I know he’s right, I can’t let him see that he is getting to me, otherwise he’s won. All this time I thought Michael was my friend. He was the one person I always thought would be there. The one person I could trust. I had no idea he was harboring such feelings for me, and I had no idea he would go to this extent and punish me for not loving him like that. He’s doing whatever he can to hurt me. But I won’t let him. I can’t let him.
“You don’t own me, Michael,” I say, my voice cold. I stand up and walk toward the door. “Now, if you excuse me, I have to get to work.” I walk outside, slamming the door shut behind me.
I reach the door of the restaurant and lean against it, still shaking. I glance back to make sure I’m still alone, relieved when I am. I half expected him to follow me, and I’m glad he didn’t. I don’t even know what I’m doing here. I just need time to think.
Lily looks at me surprised when I walk through the door.
“I thought you were sick,” she says, furrowing her brow in confusion.
“Sorry,” I mutter. I didn’t even consider that she probably replaced me already. “I’m feeling better, and I just needed to get out of the house. If you’ve already covered my shift, it’s okay. I’d just really like just to hang around for a bit.”
Lily shrugs and waves her arm. “That’s fine. We’re pretty quiet, but stay as long as you like.” She hesitates, before adding, “Is everything okay?”
“Yes. No.” I shake my head, tears stinging my eyes. “I’m fine, I’m just having a bad day.”
“Well, if you need to talk, I’m here,” she says. She takes my hand and squeezes it. I smile at her, knowing she’s doing her best to be there for me without putting the pressure on.
“Thanks,” I say. I wander off and keep myself busy by tidying a table from a group who just left. I’m not in the frame of mind to be here, and it’s showing with how hard I’m finding it to even hold onto a glass without dropping it. I curse as a cup slips from my grip for the second time.
“So, are we going to talk about what’s up with you or just ignore it?”
I turn and see Amber standing there, staring at me. She looks concerned as she bites her lip. I smile at her.
“I’m okay.” But even as the words come out, tears are rolling down my cheeks. I can’t hold it in anymore. “Maybe coming into work was a bad idea,” I mumble. I leave the half-cleared table and toss my apron on the counter and then walk outside. I look up at the sky and breathe in the fresh air, quickly walking off before Amber comes after me. I don’t want to talk to her right now. I can’t talk to anyone.
I have no idea what to do. Do I tell Adam? Do I warn him that he might be in danger? It’s the right thing to do, but doing that means admitting to everything, and I’m not sure I’m ready to do that. But if I don’t tell him and something happens to him or the kids, can I live with that? If I don’t do what Michael says, he will tell my father. I believe that completely.
So, there is only one thing I can do.
Leave. I need to run and hope that Michael will leave St. Simons and follows me, but never finds me, because if something happens to Adam, Sadie or Mason, I’ll never forgive myself.
Sixteen
Adam
I haven’t heard from Amanda in a few days and to be honest, I’m a little worried. She gets home late—later than I can manage to stay awake, and then she’s gone before I get up. It’s ridiculous that she’s living on my damn property and I haven’t seen her in days. The whole idea of her staying here was to look after the kid
s, but she hasn’t even done that. She left a note, telling me she needed to put in a few extra shifts at the restaurant to help Lily out until the end of next week, but when I mentioned that to Lily, she knew nothing about it.
So why is she avoiding me?
I’ve had enough, and I’m determined to find out what the hell is going on. I wake up extra early, determined to speak to her. It’s four thirty in the fucking morning and I’m sitting outside her door, holding two cups of coffee, freezing my ass off. As the days start to warm, it’s like the early mornings get colder. I should still be in bed, but I’m going to wait here until she leaves, because it’s the only way I can find out what’s going on inside her head.
It’s just after five when she creeps out the door. She doesn’t notice me at first, carefully pulling the door closed and creeping along the porch toward the gate.
“Morning,” I say, loudly enough to stop her in her tracks. She jumps so high that I can’t help but chuckle, but the smile quickly leaves my face when she turns and glares at me.
“Jesus fucking Christ, you scared the life out of me,” she gasps, clutching her chest. “What are you doing just sitting here like that?”
“This was the only way I could think to actually see you.” I shrug. “Do you realize we haven’t spoken in three days? Like at all? How is it that you live here, and I haven’t seen so much as a glimpse of you in three days?”
She flushes. “Sorry,” she mumbles, not meeting my eyes. “I’ve been working extra shifts, and I’ve just been really busy…”
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