I frown. “Too busy for me?” I ask. “What’s going on, Amanda? Three days ago, you were falling in love with me and now you can’t stand being around me?” I shake my head. Something is wrong. I can tell by the way she won’t meet my eyes. “Sit down,” I say, patting the ground next to me.
She shifts on her feet, as if she’s arguing with herself on whether to join me. Eventually, she plops down next to me and accepts the cup of coffee I’m holding out for her. She wraps her long fingers around the cup and stares at it, like it holds all the answers to her questions.
“I’m sorry,” she says quietly. “I haven’t been avoiding you, I just have a lot going on right now.”
“Is there anything I can help with?” I ask her. I don’t believe for a second she hasn’t been avoiding me.
She shakes her head. “It’s something I need to work out myself,” she says softly. “I don’t want you and the kids involved in my problems,” she mumbles.
“But if we’re together, then your problems are my problems.” I pause for a moment. “Are we together, Amanda?”
She doesn’t reply, and the silence makes me feel anxious, like my chest is being crushed. Is she having second thoughts about us? I hate the way that makes me feel. I knew I avoided relationships for a reason. I can’t stand the second guessing, the not knowing what the other person is thinking, or the wondering if I’ve done something wrong. She gets to her feet and looks back at me, apologetically.
“I’m sorry. I have an early shift today. I have to get going.”
“I wanted to ask you if you could look after Sadie this afternoon. She finishes school early because of a teacher planning day. But if it’s too much trouble—”
“No, of course I can. I’d love to help out,” she says. “I finish at twelve. I will walk her home if you like.”
“That would be good,” I murmur.
“Okay, well work…so, I better go,” she mutters.
She’s gone before I can question her anymore. I don’t even get the chance to point out that the restaurant doesn’t open for another hour and half. What’s she going to do, stand out the front and wait for it to open? She’s lying to me, and I don’t know why. I’m so frustrated. Something is going on, and I want to help, but I can’t do that if she won’t let me in.
I get the kids ready and drop Sadie off at her school first, and then Mason. It’s his first day at his new school so I insist on driving him, much to his embarrassment. He draws the line when I ask to walk him inside. I chuckle and agree to park around the corner so the other kids don’t see that he’s been driven, even though I’m sure nearly all of his classmates are also being driven to school by a parent. He glances around as he unbuckles his belt, clearly nervous about starting a new school.
“Do I get a kiss?” I tease him.
Much to my dismay, he rolls his eyes and leans over and pecks me on the cheek. I think that’s the first time he’s kissed me in years. I feel like I’m making some headway with him, and it feels great. I’m hoping the change in school is what he needs. A fresh start, if you will. If not, then I don’t know what to do. We will be back at square one. I just hope we don’t end up taking a step backward.
“Have a good day, okay? Call me if you need me,” I murmur.
“I will. See you later,” he mutters, slinging his bag over his shoulder. I watch as he walks away, until he disappears around the corner and into the school grounds.
Sighing, I drive down to the water and park the car. I get out and walk over to the pier, where I sit down on the edge and stare out at the water. I would’ve gone to the lighthouse, but I’m so behind in work that I can’t afford to not go into the office. Hell, I can’t even afford to do this, but if my head isn’t right, then what’s the point in even going to work? Five minutes here to clear my head and then hopefully I can focus on work.
I just don’t know what to do about Amanda. I can’t make her open up to me, but seeing her struggling is killing me. I just want to make things right for her, but I have no idea how. It’s just so frustrating knowing she is going through something that is obviously bothering her, and I can’t do anything about it. Haven’t I done enough to prove that she can trust me? I don’t want to feel the anger I’m feeling toward her, but sometimes it feels like I’m smacking my head against a brick wall. I’m getting nowhere with her.
When I can’t justify the time I’m wasting anymore, I get to my feet and wander down the street toward my office. I pass the pawn shop on the way and stop, remembering the way she stood there, peering through the window the other day when I dropped her off. She stood at this very window for ages, staring at something. I frown and study the contents of the window. What was it that caught her attention? I walk inside, the bell ringing as I enter. Tony, the owner, looks up and grins at me.
“Adam,” he says with a smile. “Great to see you. How are you settling back into small town life? It’s really good to have you and the family back in town.”
“Thanks, Tony,” I say warmly.
Tony is a good guy. He’s been a friend of my father’s for as long as I can remember. His wife died a little while back, and after that, his shop became his life. I don’t doubt that if Amanda was in here, he’d remember her.
“It’s good to be back,” I admit. “It makes me realize how much I missed this place. The city is great and all, but there’s nothing like home.”
“Can’t argue with you there,” he says with a chuckle. “I never understand all these kids who can’t wait to leave this place. They always end up coming back though. Even you. So, what brings you in here? Looking for something?”
“As a matter of fact, yes.” I wander over to the counter and tap my fingers on the glass. “There was a girl here the other day. A friend of mine. She was gazing in the front window like she’d lost something. She’s only been in town a couple of weeks, so it’s possible she might’ve sold you something for some cash. Long dark hair, sad eyes?”
“Ah you mean the girl that works over at the restaurant. Amanda.”
“That’s her,” I say, my heart racing. “So, she was in here?”
Tony chuckles. “She’s in here nearly every day. Poor girl, I wish I could help her, but I’ve got to run a business to run. You know?”
“Can I ask what it is that she sold you?” I murmur.
“Sure,” he says. Whistling, he disappears around to the front window and comes back with a beautiful sparkling diamond ring. I take it in my hands and study it. It looks too traditional to be a recent purchase. A family heirloom maybe?
“It’s a beauty, isn’t it?” Tony says. “It clearly means a lot to her. The poor girl walks by every day to make sure it’s still sitting there in the window.”
“It’s for sale, then?” I ask curiously.
He nods. “I dread the day when she walks in here and sees that it’s gone.” He studies me closely for a moment. “Are you thinking of buying it, Adam?”
I nod. “How much do you want for it?”
He shrugs. “That depends on what you’re planning on doing with it. If it’s going back to her, you can have it for what I gave her.” I nod and hand him my credit card.
“It will definitely be going back to her,” I say. “Just do me one favor, Tony. Don’t let on that I was the one who purchased it? I’d like it to be a surprise.”
“No problem. I feel like that girl deserves something good in her life.”
I walk out at the shop with the ring safely in my pocket and cross the street to my office. I’m not sure when I’ll give it to her, but I’m looking forward to seeing the expression on her face when I do. I just hope that I’m right and this means something to her, and I hope in turn this makes her see how much she means to me.
I walk inside my office to find a guy pacing back and forth. I frown at him, trying to remember if I had an appointment I’d forgotten about.
“Can I help you?” I ask.
“You can help me by staying away from Nina.”
I frown at him, taking in his dark expression and cold eyes. This must be some kind of mistake. I don’t even have a client by the name Nina. Hell, I don’t know anyone named Nina.
“Who?” I say, shaking my head. “I think you have the wrong person, sorry.”
He laughs, “Right. I forgot that you don’t even know her real name. Amanda. Stay the fuck away from Amanda, okay? If you value your family’s safety as much as I think you do, then trust me when I tell you that you don’t want to be around her.”
“Are you threatening me?” I ask, my hands clenching into fists beside me. I don’t take well to threats.
“No. I’m not threatening you. This is more of a friendly warning,” he says with a shrug. “I’m not going to hurt you, but there are plenty of people connected to Nina that wouldn’t hesitate to break apart your perfect little world.”
“What are you talking about?” I snap. This guy isn’t making any sense, and I’m about two seconds away from breaking apart his perfect little world.
“God, you really have no idea, do you?” he laughs. “She’s the daughter of a Russian mafia king who has no idea where she’s gone. Let’s just say that he’s angry and out for blood. Once he finds out where she is and who she’s with…” he shakes his head and laughs. “Well, I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes, put it that way.” He holds his hands up and smiles, his dark eyes anything but friendly. “As I said, this is just a friendly warning, nothing else. Take my advice, or don’t. It’s your call, Adam.”
He walks out, leaving me in shock and angry. Did that just happen? The fucking mafia? I just can’t imagine Amanda…Nina being a part of that life. He has to be full of shit. Probably an ex-boyfriend trying to stir up problems for her.
But can I risk my family’s safety on the belief that he’s lying? What if he’s not? What if everything he told me is true? It would explain a lot. Her secrecy, her not wanting to open up to me. God, my kids are everything to me. What would I do if either of them got hurt? I’ve been around enough bad people to know that they don’t care who they hurt when it comes to getting what they want.
I need to check on my kids.
I race home, calling Mason’s school on the way to check in on him. I don’t want to take him out of school on his first day if I can help it, so I ask the principal to alert me if anything seems suspicious and leave it at that. I’ll pick him up at the end of the day.
I walk inside to find Sadie crying in the living room, her little face streaked with tears. My heart races as I crouch down next to her and wrap her in my arms. I hate seeing her so upset, especially when I don’t know what it’s about.
“What’s the matter, baby? Are you okay?” I ask softly. I kiss her forehead as she sobs in my ear.
“Mandy. She’s leaving,” Sadie mumbles. “Stop her, Daddy. She can’t go. I like her being here.”
“Where is she?” I ask, my voice catching in my throat.
“She’s in her room, packing,” Sadie sobs. “She told me to stay in here and watch a movie.”
“Sit down, baby. I’ll be back in a second, okay?”
She nods and climbs up on the couch to watch the movie Amanda put on for her, while I stalk outside. I’m so angry, not only because she lied to me, because she’s leaving just like that. Was she even planning on waiting until I got home, before she left, or was she going to leave Sadie alone in the house? How can she leave after insisting that everything is fine between us?
Maybe I don’t know this woman at all.
I stalk into the cabin without knocking. Amanda whirls around, her eyes widening when she sees me standing there. I glare at her, wanting to say so many things that I don’t even know where to begin. Her face pales as realization hits her. She knows I know.
“He told you,” she whispers. “What did he say?”
“Not much,” I growl, unable to keep the hurt out of my voice. “Other than I shouldn’t be around you, I shouldn’t let my kids to be around you, and that you’re a danger to us.” I glare at her. “Oh, and that you even lied to me about your name? What the hell is going on? Who are you? Is this some kind of sick joke to you? You make me fall in love with you, and then I find out you lied about everything?”
“I’m the person that shouldn’t be around you,” she whispers. Her eyes fill with tears. “I’m so sorry I got you involved in all of this. I can’t guarantee that you won’t end up hurt, so that’s why I need to get out of here. I couldn’t live with myself if any of you were hurt because of me.”
“You’re worried about hurting us? It’s a bit late for that,” I growl. I run my hands through my hair and curse. I’m hurting so much right now that I can’t even think straight. “For fucks sake, Amanda… Nina… whatever your name is. Sit down and talk to me. You owe me that much.” My expression softens. “I can help you if you let me.”
“But don’t you see? You can’t help me,” she cries. “Nobody can. You don’t know my father. You don’t know the lengths he’ll go to in order to find me, and when he does…” she shakes her head. “I’ve never disobeyed him before, Adam. But I couldn’t marry someone I didn’t love. Not even for him.”
“And you shouldn’t have to,” I say. I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her. I tilt her face up to mine, kissing her lips softly. “Nina…let me help you. Don’t just leave.”
“I have to,” she whispers. Tears roll down her cheeks. She closes her eyes as I wipe them away, as if she’s unable to look at me.
“What about us?” I murmur.
“You’re better off without me,” she whispers. “And I can’t stay here. I can’t let them find me. Leaving is the only option I have.” She walks over to me, a suitcase in her hand. She kisses me on the cheek and wraps her arm around me. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Adam. I never meant to hurt you.”
She walks out, and I stand there like an idiot, staring after her. I do nothing to stop her from leaving, because deep down I think maybe she’s right.
Maybe my world is a whole lot less complicated without her in it.
Seventeen
Nina
I leave Adam’s house feeling overwhelmed. It’s late, and I’m at a loss of where to go to now. The only place I know is where Michael is staying. I don’t want to stay there, but I don’t have any other choice. I need to figure out where I’m going to go before I do anything else.
I return to the motel and book another room. Colleen is surprised to see me again, but she doesn’t ask any questions. Still, I feel the need to say something. I can’t imagine how this looks to her.
“I had a friend come to visit me, but then we had a falling out,” I mumble, my face heating up. “I’d prefer a room on the other side of the inn, if you have one.” As far away from Michael as possible.
She smiles and gives me a wink. “Say no more. I completely understand. I have a room right over the other side. You can have that one.”
I thank her and go to my room. As I open the door, I feel numb, like the weight of everything that has happened has yet to hit me. I glance around the room and manage a small smile. At least it’s familiar. It’s exactly the same layout as the old room, right down to the worn carpet and the striped bedspread covering the bed.
I walk over to it and lay down. The springs digging into my back is almost comforting. It’s not as beautiful and tasteful as Adam’s cabin, but returning here almost feels like returning home. It’s familiar and comforting, which is what I need at the moment.
I close my eyes and sigh. What the hell am I going to do? I have no idea how to get myself out of this mess, but one thing is for sure; I can’t stay here. Michael clearly doesn’t care about my safety—or me at all, for that matter. I don’t think he’s capable of hurting me, but one word to my father and all hell will break loose.
I roll over onto my side and pull my legs up under me. For the first time in a long time it hits me just how alone I really am. I always thought I had Michael on my side. Without him, I have nobody I can turn to. I thin
k back to all the times he’s helped me, and all the time that we’ve spent together over the past ten years. Never at any stage did I feel more for them him than just friendship.
Hearing him confess his love for me was such a shock. No part of me at all feels the same way about him. Because I’ve fallen in love with Adam. But none of that matters now, because he’s never going to forgive me. He didn’t even try to stop me from leaving. Not that I blame him, because all I’ve done is lie to him.
I groan and roll over, wishing I could just wake up and discover that the last twenty-four hours didn’t happen. Maybe if I go to sleep this will somehow merge into a dream. I yawn and close my eyes, giving into the call of sleep.
I wake up a few hours later. No such luck. My life is still a mess, and I still have no idea what to do. I sit up and gasp, my eyes widening in horror. Michael sits at the foot of my bed, staring coldly at me. How long has he been sitting there, watching me for?
I cover myself with the blanket, suddenly cold, a shiver racing through me. I’m trying to summon the courage to ask him what he wants when my eyes fall on the gun sticking out from his belt. Oh God. He’s going to kill me. Breathe. Just keep him calm and breathe.
“What are you doing here?” I whisper, finally finding my voice.
“I need to take what’s mine,” he mutters.
“What?” I croak.
My voice breaks. I feel sick, because I don’t know what he’s capable of. I thought I knew him, but I don’t know this man at all. The Michael I grew up with would never take me hostage. Is that what this is? His way of convincing me that I should be with him?
“You’ve been away from me for too long. You don’t understand how much we mean to each other, so I need to remind you.”
He speaks so matter of fact, like all emotion has been taken out of his thought process. How cold and calculated he is scares me, because I can’t reason with him when he’s like that.
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