Eyes of a Stanger

by Rachel Ann Nunes

  She shook her head slowly. “I don’t know you or your brother. I’ve lived here in Portland all my life.” There was an annoying itch on the side of her face, but she didn’t dare let go of her arm to scratch it.

  The man shook his head, eyeing her intently. “Yes, there are some differences, but you look so much like her. Even the eyes.”

  That got her attention. She had never met another person with eyes like hers, though she had read about others having them, including a few celebrities. “Well, I’m really sorry. I’m not who you think I am.”

  He sighed. “I can see that, now that we’re talking, but it was a shock—really, you could be twins. I mean, if your hair was the same and if you were a little fatter—uh, if you weighed a bit more.”

  Her lips twitched at his awkwardness. “They say everyone in the world has a doppelgänger.”

  “So they do. I never believed it before.” He smiled, and for the first time she noticed how handsome he was, though in a rather reserved sort of way. He had a nice build, narrow hips, and blond hair. His eyes were his best feature, and she admitted that she felt something as those eyes ran over her face and then fell to her dirty jeans and sweatshirt. What did he think of her? She found herself wondering what the woman who looked like her had been to him. Had they been in love? Who was she and why weren’t they together now?

  “My name is Autumn Rain,” she offered.

  “Autumn Rain. Beautiful.”

  “Most people think it’s weird. My mother’s name was Summer, and my father—” She broke off and for a moment she couldn’t continue. “My father’s name is Winter.”

  “He’s still missing.”

  It wasn’t a question, but she answered it anyway. “Yes.” She dropped her gaze to the ground. Her bare toes peeked out of the hems of her jeans, dirty almost beyond recognition.

  “I’m sorry. And your mother?”

  “Summer died when I was eleven. Breast cancer.”

  “Summer and Winter,” he mused. “What wonderful names. Must have been interesting people.”

  “Yes.” Autumn had enjoyed being raised by so-called flower children, able to eat whatever she wanted regardless of nutritional value, allowed to roam wherever she chose, and given rein to wear whatever caught her fancy. She was the envy of her friends for all of this but most especially because she called her parents by their first names.

  Now Autumn regretted calling them by name because their names weren’t big enough or important enough to name the loss in her life. Mom would have been enough. Dad would have been. Pain rolled through her at the memories. Winter, I should have called you Daddy.

  Bret was quiet a long time, for which she was grateful. It was a comfortable silence, one she had not expected to share with a complete stranger. “My older brother died last year in a climbing accident,” he said at last. “Some days I still forget and think about calling him up to play racquetball or ask if he wants to watch the big game. It’s weird.”

  “Not so weird as you think. I talk to Summer all the time.” She smiled at him. “So who are you, anyway?”

  “Oh, I didn’t—I—” His fumbling reminded her of the little boys who came in her dad’s shop to buy his sugarless health food candies. “I’m Bret Winn,” he recovered, pulling out a badge that was clipped to the pocket of his jeans. “I’m an independent engineer called in by Multnomah County to investigate the bridge collapse. I’m from Nevada.” He seemed to be watching her reaction carefully, as though he didn’t quite trust that she wasn’t the woman he had originally mistaken her for.

  “Nice to meet you. I’d offer you my arm, but—” She lifted her undamaged shoulder in a half shrug.

  “You really should get that looked at.”

  “I know.” She sighed. “But I keep thinking that’s when they’ll find him.” Tears pricked the backs of her eyes, and she looked away again so he wouldn’t see.

  “I don’t think they’ll be bringing up much more tonight. Most of the men have left, including the divers. And I have it on good authority that the Navy Seals will be here tomorrow. They have sonar equipment that should help. If you get the arm fixed tonight, you can be here tomorrow. Ready . . . for whatever.”

  For whatever. Autumn knew he thought her father was dead. He was probably right.

  Suddenly, she was exhausted. It had been a long, hot, wearying day standing in the sun. She wanted nothing more than to go back to her store and lie down in her easy chair. She hadn’t been able to face going home to the apartment yet. Jake should be here any minute to get her, shouldn’t he? She had no concept of time anymore. All the hours that made up the past few days were a blur.

  “I can take you to the hospital.” Bret touched her shoulder and she looked back at him. “Or an after-hours clinic. There’s probably one nearby. That’d be less expensive.”

  “Okay.” She felt relief that she was no longer in charge.

  As they walked up the bank, Autumn spied Orion Harris coming toward them, his long arms swinging at his side. “Autumn,” he called. He eyed Bret with a mixture of curiosity and distrust. He’d shown up here every night since they’d met, though he hadn’t talked to her. Instead of feeling uneasy that he was watching her from a distance, she’d felt reassured by his presence.

  “Orion.”

  “How are you?”

  “I’m okay.”

  “Your arm?”

  “Fine.” She’d decided he felt a sense of duty toward her—probably since he’d saved her life.

  “What’s going on?” Orion looked from Autumn to Bret. “Who are you?”

  “I’m an independent engineer brought in by the county. From Nevada. Bret Winn.” Bret proffered his hand to Orion, and they shook.

  “Orion Harris. I’m a fireman.”

  Bret nodded. “If you’re the guy I think you are, you were one of the first on the scene after the bridge collapsed.”

  “That’s me. I was driving nearby—on this side.”

  “I’d like to talk to you sometime, if I could. About what happened. But right now, I’m taking Autumn to the doctor.”

  Orion’s gaze met Autumn’s. “You haven’t gotten that arm looked at yet?”

  “I’m going now. With, uh—what did you say your name was?” She’d known it seconds ago, and it wasn’t like her to be so forgetful, but that was the least of her worries at the moment.

  “Bret Winn.”

  “You can’t go with him,” Orion protested. “You don’t know him.”

  No one had ever told her such a thing since she was five and Summer had told her it probably wasn’t a good idea to go to Kansas with the biker who had come into the Herb Shoppe for vitality vitamins. She’d only wanted to find Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz.

  “He’s got a badge,” she said, attempting to make a joke of his challenge.

  “Anyone can get a badge.”

  Autumn sighed. “I didn’t know you, either, Orion, and I let you take me home the other day.”

  “That’s different.”

  “Because you saved my life?” The truth was that she almost wished he hadn’t pulled her from the water. The tears were coming again.

  “No.” Orion’s reply was more a growl than anything, and once Autumn would have thought it romantic, even though he was so much older than she was. She had revised her first impression of his being her father’s age, but he was at least in his mid-forties.

  “Look, I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to the doctor with Bret.” So get over it. Even last week she might have said the words aloud, but she couldn’t today. So easily they could be thrown back in her face. Winter was gone. Get over it.

  Orion nodded. “Fine. I’ll let you know if they find anything here.”

  For a moment Autumn was torn. Maybe she should stay.

  “Do you have her number?” Bret asked.

  Autumn frowned. “My phone’s lost.” She looked out to the river where her cell phone and her purse lay somewhere beneath the shadowy water. And Winter? W
as he nearby as well?

  The men fell silent, understanding what she didn’t say aloud.

  “Take my number down,” Bret said into the awkwardness. “I’d like yours, too, if you don’t mind.”

  Autumn stood numbly watching the murky water flowing in the river while they exchanged phone numbers. Satisfied, Orion continued down the bank. “Can I use your phone?” she asked Bret. “I should call my friend Jake so he doesn’t come to pick me up.”

  Bret fished in a pocket and pulled out a phone. Looking at her arm, he asked, “Want me to dial?”

  Autumn didn’t want him to but she had little choice. Her arm was in fact feeling worse since her ibuprofen was wearing off—and his manhandling of it hadn’t helped. She wasn’t up to working a strange phone with her left hand. Besides, she must have forgotten to eat again because his face was moving around at an impossible angle. “Please.” She gave him the number, and he dialed before passing the phone to her.

  “Jake? It’s Autumn. Look, don’t come down to the river for me, okay? I have a ride. No, I’m okay. I promise. Don’t worry so much. I’m actually going to see about my arm. Thanks. See you tomorrow. No. I won’t be at the store. If it gets too busy, just close down my side. Okay. Bye.”

  She handed back Bret’s phone.

  “Are you all right?” he asked. A line of worry gathered between his eyebrows.

  “I’m a little hungry.”

  “So am I. We could stop and get a burger.”

  “There’s a place called Smokey’s. They have a great whole wheat bagel sandwich.” She would kill for one of those right now. Smokey’s really was the only place she dared to eat out these days. At least they tried to use organic ingredients. They fell short with their desserts, but the main dishes were very healthy.

  “Okay, we’ll stop at this Smokey’s first. But I hope you’re okay riding in a truck. I came with a guy from the county.”

  “I love trucks.” As an irresponsible teenager, she had adored riding in the back, standing up as she held onto the cab window. Not something she’d ever do again. She’d learned only too well what it meant to be mortal.

  If she’d owned a truck instead of a little car, would her father be with her now? She shut her eyes against the pain in her chest. Or was it her arm? Her whole body seemed to ache.

  They had arrived at the truck, and Bret was talking to a wide-faced, freckled man with red hair. She didn’t understand what they were saying, though she was close enough to hear the conversation. Her mind wandered back to Orion. Why did he keep coming to the river? Was it for her, or was he looking for something? It didn’t make sense that he was interested in her—beyond a hero-type of thing. He hadn’t even seen her with her hair combed or any makeup on. Idly, she wondered what it would be like to kiss him.

  Whoa. She was really out of it. She felt flushed and hot, though the sun hung lower in the sky now, and there was a nice breeze gusting up from the river.

  “Come on. You get in first. Robert says he knows where Smokey’s is. Then he’ll drop us off at the clinic. We’ll catch a taxi home. Or I’ll call the hotel and see if they’ve arranged my rental car.”

  She nodded, but her head shook back and forth. This was how she felt after accidentally swallowing one of Summer’s pain pills when she was eleven. Everything was out of kilter.

  Bret stepped back so she could climb inside, helping her as best he could without touching her arm. “There you go.”

  The other man, Robert, looked at her with open curiosity, and Autumn found herself hoping she didn’t smell. After a dip in the river and three days of not showering, it couldn’t be good. Her mind refused to follow the thought and the idea was lost, except for the lingering feeling that she didn’t like Robert’s face. It wasn’t trustworthy. He wouldn’t have been a person she would have gone with on her own. But Bret, he was like Winter. Well, in a twisted sort of way. Or Winter was twisted. Or something.

  She gave up trying to think and let herself sink into the numbness that was spreading over her body. Sleepy, she thought. Why was she so sleepy all the time? It seemed she could only stay awake if she was at the riverbank.

  Autumn noticed the truck had come to a stop and Bret had opened the door. She scooted over, not wanting to be left alone with Robert.

  “Why don’t I just get you—what was it? A bagel sandwich?” Bret asked.

  “That’s okay. I’ll go in with you.”

  “You’re not wearing shoes.”

  “So?”

  Bret nodded. “Okay, then. Anything for you, Robert?”

  “Nah, I’m good. Noreen’ll have dinner waiting.”

  Every table was full, but most of the customers were already eating. A young waitress with a blonde ponytail came their way. Autumn recognized her from her weekly trips to the restaurant, though she’d probably only been served by her once or twice.

  “I’ve got a table in the back,” the girl said. “Nearly clear. If you’ll just wait a moment.”

  “It’s take-out,” Autumn said.

  The waitress stared. “Weren’t you just in here? A meat pie, right? And chocolate cake?” She shook her head. “No, that must have been someone else. Your hair is red. Sorry.”

  “That’s okay. But that meat pie does sound good. I’ll have one of those.”

  The waitress pointed to a counter near the door. “Takeout’s ordered over there. Have a good day.” With another curious glance at Autumn, she was gone.

  That’s right. Takeout wasn’t ordered from the waitresses. Autumn shook her head to try to clear it. “I’ll have a meat pie,” she told the lady at the take-out counter. “And an orange squeeze. No, raspberry lemonade. And fries—large. And a donut. No, chocolate cake. Well, maybe I’ll have the whole wheat bagel sandwich after all. Large, with extra peppers and mustard. No mayo. Wait. That meat pie does sound good.” The problem was, she was so hungry that everything sounded good. “Maybe I’ll have both.” She rested her hurt arm on the countertop and felt for her money. It wasn’t there. She was sure she’d taken a couple of twenties from the till. Of all the stupid times to have lost money.

  Bret looked at her closely, an unreadable expression on his face. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve got it.” To the woman, he added, “Just bring us two meat pies and a bagel sandwich with mustard and extra peppers. And all the rest of what she said.”

  “Lemonade,” supplied Autumn, “and chocolate cake.”

  “Might as well throw in a donut.” Bret smiled at her, and she smiled back.

  He was like Winter, insisting on buying her everything she was hungry for. At that thought, the pain in her heart hurt so much that it far outweighed the torture of her arm.

  She gobbled the sandwich in the truck as Robert followed her directions to the after-hours clinic at her doctor’s office. Before they arrived, the chocolate cake and the donut had disappeared, too, and she’d begun breaking off the crust on the meat pie. She hadn’t thought about the complication of getting the filling to her mouth with only her awkward left hand.

  “I have never seen anyone eat so much,” Bret commented. Then his face went still. “Except Tawnia.”

  “Tawnia?”

  “The woman I thought was you.”

  Autumn met his gaze. He was looking at her face as though not sure what to make of her. Did he still think she might be this Tawnia? Ludicrous. Still, if she looked enough like her, maybe she was related. Maybe somewhere out there she had a cousin or even an older half-sister. The woman would have to be older because her birth mother had died when she was born. Questions bubbled up inside her, threatening to break free in a flood of words.

  “Here we are,” Robert announced.

  Autumn decided her questions could wait. Likely it had been years since Bret had seen the woman who resembled her. His memory might be faulty. Her mismatched eyes and her build might be enough for him to see a resemblance, but it wasn’t worth getting her hopes up. Sustaining hope of finding another relative was too much effort to mainta
in in her current state. Besides, all she really wanted was Winter.

  “What about your tools?” Robert asked as they got out.

  Bret deliberated a moment. Autumn could see he was loath to leave his equipment and wondered how much it had cost. Some of the items in her store cost so much that she would have gladly lugged them across the entire North American continent, even on foot, rather than give them up. She had no idea what sort of tools an engineer would have. “Would you mind taking them back to the office? Locking them up? I’ll come in early to get them.”

  “Sure. No problem. I’ll see you tomorrow. Good luck, ma’am.” Robert lifted a hand and drove away.

  Autumn was feeling better since gobbling the food. She wasn’t dizzy anymore, though she still felt hot in her sweatshirt. They went to the desk where a white-haired receptionist greeted them impersonally. “Name?”

  “Autumn Rain.”

  “You can sign in here. What’s the problem?”

  “I hurt my arm.” Autumn laughed somewhat hollowly. “It’s probably nothing. Just a sprain.”

  “Do you have insurance?”

  “Yes.”

  “Can I see your card?”

  Another thing that was lost to the river. Autumn felt suddenly light-headed. “My information should be on file.”

  “I’ll still need your card,” the woman said sweetly, as though that piece of plastic would give her permission to move. “It’s just to make sure there haven’t been changes.”

  “I don’t have it with me. It’s lost.” Autumn exchanged a telling look with Bret, whose mouth tightened—probably with pity. “This is my regular doctor’s office,” she added hurriedly. “I’m sure I’m in the computer. The information is up to date.”

  The woman pursed her lips and took the sign-in sheet, typing on the keyboard, her face rigidly staring at the computer screen.

  Color rose in Bret’s face. “Look, I’m willing to sign a paper saying I’ll pay for this, if necessary. Just get us in as quickly as possible.”

  “I found her information,” the woman said icily, “but I do need to take the co-pay now. That’ll be thirty dollars.”

  Bret whipped out his wallet and shoved some bills in her direction. “How long will the wait be?”