Rooms

by Rubart, James L.

  He stared at the stars. Why had he been given the best of both worlds?

  He closed his eyes as it once again felt like God had gone mute. He chalked it up to the intensity of the past few days and headed home.

  Sarah! He grabbed his cell.

  Again no answer on her cell phone. “Hey, it’s me. Missing Rick, missing Cannon Beach, mostly missing you.”

  The next morning he got up at 5:00 to spend some time praying and reading the Bible to try to push through the distance he felt toward God. After an hour he gave up in frustration. It was so dry it was brittle. The only voice he heard was his own, and any semblance of peace had flown.

  Where was God?

  Heading into work, he pondered what he missed most about Cannon Beach. It wasn’t the house, the ocean, Rick, or even Sarah. God was in Cannon Beach. Micah had been set free of chains he didn’t even know existed. But up here God seemed to be on vacation.

  He popped his steering wheel with his palm. His pipeline to the Lord had dried up like a valve being shut. As he pulled into his parking spot, he admitted it had closed the moment he’d stepped through the doors at RimSoft two days earlier. He’d just been too elated and busy to acknowledge it.

  As he ambled out of the elevator a few minutes past eight, he remembered his regular assistant should be back. Sure enough, a woman with blonde hair sat with her back to him in the chair Perspiration Boy had occupied the day before. Would he know her? Micah started to say hello when she turned and pranced around her desk with tiny high-heeled steps. He was too stunned to move.

  “Welcome home, stranger.” She threw her arms around his neck. “I had an awesome time on my vacay. Hope you did, too.” She pulled herself up to his ear and whispered, “I know we’ve only been going out for a month, so fire me if this is too forward, but I think we should take our next vacation together, don’t you?” She gave him a quick kiss, then flounced back to her chair.

  Micah tried to find words. Only one came. “Julie?”

  She laughed, cocked her head, and pointed a crimson fingernail at him. “Micah.”

  “You’re not my partner.”

  “No, not yet. You offering? All right, I accept.”

  His mind spun on a merry-go-round far over a safe speed. “Why . . . uh, wha . . . Why are you . . . ?” He stopped and stumbled into the chair next to Julie’s desk. No question would make sense so it was impossible to finish the sentence.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah, good. I just . . .” Just what? Just realized his world was still shifting wildly and he wasn’t in control of any of it? He gripped the arms of the chair and tried to stop the spinning sensation.

  No, it wasn’t surprising Julie would be back in his life if the other things were back, but as his assistant? Why? He forced the thoughts pounding through his brain to stop, and he looked up at her. “Listen, it’s great to see you, great to be back, so let’s catch up as soon as I can get unburied from three weeks of work.”

  “You’re thinking dinner tonight?”

  “Yes. Love it. Perfect.” Micah smiled, hoping it looked real, stood, and turned toward his office door.

  He staggered into his office and slammed the door. Not out of anger. Out of fear. He flung his coat and briefcase onto the chair next to his desk. The coat slid down the side of the chair and crumpled to the floor. Micah didn’t bother to pick it up. He was staring at the picture of Sarah he’d put up the day before.

  She wasn’t in it.

  CHAPTER 39

  Micah weaved through Seattle’s late-morning traffic like Speed Racer as he sped toward the University of Washington’s arboretum. It had been his place of solace since high school. His spot to be alone. To think.

  He had to calm down. Get a handle on the insanity that pulsed through his entire body. He felt his neck with his forefinger. Heart rate? Probably 140. Clothes? Soaked with sweat.

  He looked down at the picture clutched in his hand. Haystack Rock in the background in the late afternoon sun gave everything a golden hue. But where Sarah had sat was now only sand. He’d called Rick four times over the past hour, as if logging multiple calls would bring his friend back from his trip faster. During the fourth call, Devin almost hung up on him.

  Micah stood on a secluded bulkhead overlooking Lake Washington, trying to pray, but the prayers seemed to vanish into the charcoal skies. As he started back to his car, his cell phone rang. He fumbled in his pocket for it, fingers numb. Caller ID said Unknown.

  Please be her!

  “Hello?”

  “Micah? It’s Sarah Sabin.”

  “Finally.” A monsoon of relief landed on him. “I have missed you unbelievably.”

  “Are you the person who’s been leaving messages on my cell phone?”

  “Am I the person?” He laughed. “Yeah, what other Micahs do you know?”

  As the words came out of his mouth, two questions struck like ice water. Why did she give her last name? And why ask if he’d left the messages? She knew his voice as well as anyone’s.

  “You’re the only Micah I know, but I have to say your messages were a little weird.”

  “Weird?”

  “I enjoyed bumping into you up at Ecola and enjoyed our talk. And I was looking forward to dinner at your place next week, spend a little time together, get to know each other. But your messages made me think that’s not such a good idea.”

  Micah’s legs went weak, and he crumpled onto the rough wooden planks beneath him. He couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe.

  “Are you there?”

  “I’m in Seattle,” he sputtered. “And it’s all back. I’ve got it all back.”

  “Okaaay.” Sarah drew out the word. “Got all what back?”

  He tried to think of an answer to stop this nightmare. A sense of low, smug laughter coursed through him. The phone slipped from his grasp and dropped over the bulkhead wall, crashing onto the smooth rocks twenty feet below. It bounced twice and then splashed into the dark green waters of the lake.

  “Everything.”

  ||||||||

  Sleep, and the dream, didn’t come till 2:00 a.m. Micah stood in the middle of a wheat field. Rolling hills swept out from him in all directions, the late afternoon sun turning the wheat into waving strands of gold. He did a full turn, squinting as he looked into the sunlight. Nothing but fields of gold . . . wait! A silhouette on the horizon. As Micah stared at the figure, he began floating toward it.

  The man stood on a three-foot, splintered platform straight out of the late 1800s. Just like the man. He was tall, with white hair swept back till it touched the collar of his light brown, turn-of-the-century suit. A wide circle of lush, jade green grass surrounded the platform.

  The instant Micah entered the circle, the man’s words rang out crisp and powerful. If the man noticed Micah arrive, he didn’t respond. The man fixed his gaze on the field, the heads of wheat like a vast audience hanging on every word. Perspiration trickled down his forehead into his eyes, but his focus was absolute, nothing distracting his fierce countenance.

  “The fields are ripe for harvest! Beseech therefore the Lord of the harvest to send workers into the field to gather the wheat from the tares!” The preacher glanced down at the ragged Bible in his hands. “Now heed the words from the Revelation of John from chapter 3, verses 15 and 16.” His voice dropped to half its former volume as he read from the old Bible. “‘I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.’”

  The preacher looked up slowly and fixed his eyes on Micah and repeated the last sentence. “So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee of my mouth.”

  As he repeated it a third time, the preacher’s face changed. All but his eyes, which only increased in intensity. This time the words were a whisper, and when he’d finished, the transformation was complete.

  It was Jesus.

&nbs
p; A moment later Micah woke, soaking wet. He looked at his watch. Already twenty minutes past noon.

  After a quick shower Micah stepped onto the veranda of his condo to collect his thoughts before doing the obvious and heading for Cannon Beach. There was still hope. If the dream was only a warning, there was time to fix the mistake of returning to Seattle, and time to restore things with Sarah.

  If coming to Seattle caused his life in Cannon Beach to vanish like a vapor, returning to the beach would restore it.

  It had to.

  As he packed, he considered calling his office to let them know he was leaving. But for what? By the time he reached Cannon Beach, his role with the company could be significantly different. A phone call now might not even exist by the time he got back to the beach.

  He took one last look around his condo. Would he ever see the twenty-first floor again? What would he miss the most? His eyes swept over the awards and pictures lining the walls. Pictures of him standing next to the pretty and powerful. Trips around the world. Could he take the photos with him? Or would they just disappear on the way down to Cannon Beach, leaving empty frames crowding his backseat?

  So what if he ended up as one of the up-and-coming computer programmers at RimSoft or RimWare or whatever it would end up being called by the time he got back up to Seattle. So what if his salary was only a quarter of what it had been and there was no stock?

  He didn’t care. Nothing here mattered. Not anymore. He would still have gold: Sarah, Rick, and God.

  Time to go home.

  When he crossed the border between Washington and Oregon, a subtle pain brought overwhelming relief. His ankle started to ache.

  At 7:50 that evening he parked on Main Street and headed for Osburn’s. Adrenaline pumped through him. He’d stood in front of some of the most influential men and women in the world of business, his neck tight and mouth dry. But as he stood on Main Street looking up at the Osburn’s sign, Micah admitted that butterflies had never attacked his stomach with this much force. His breathing was shallow as he watched the last few customers stroll out of the store. He glanced at his watch. Almost closing time.

  Best-case scenario, Sarah and he would be right back to where they were before he’d left for Seattle a few days ago.

  Worst case, they would have lost a few weeks, maybe even a month, of their relationship. But he didn’t want to lose even an hour. During the past four weeks their relationship had burst from deep friendship into full-blown love. He’d told her everything that had gone on inside the house during that time. Told her about living parts of two lives. And she’d all but said she wanted to spend her life with him.

  He shook his head and ran both hands through his hair. Why hadn’t he listened? She’d been so adamant about him not going. She had been right. Now he would fix it.

  He glanced inside. No one left but Sarah.

  Micah stepped through the front door. The bells announcing his arrival sounded like the warnings of a five-alarm fire, and his heart pounded like the bass drum at a rock concert.

  “Hi,” Sarah said without turning from her cleaning. “Five minutes to closing, I hope you’re not wanting a triple-decker four-fudge float.”

  “Sarah.”

  She looked up. “Hey. How are you? This is a nice surprise.” She smiled and tilted her head to the side.

  His mind froze. He didn’t know what he’d anticipated, but it wasn’t this. He’d expected to know with one look what her heart did or didn’t hold for him. But he didn’t. As he studied her face, he saw recognition, but what kind? Anger from the cell phone calls? Concern? Was everything back to normal and she simply waited for him to make the first move, to admit returning to Seattle was a mistake? She obviously knew him, but how well? There were no answers, and he had no idea where to go with the conversation.

  “I’m good. Hey, uh, first I just wanted to apologize for the weird messages I left on your cell phone.” He hesitated. If everything was back to normal, then maybe the calls wouldn’t have even happened in Sarah’s world.

  “You left me a weird message? More than one?”

  Yes! The calls no longer existed.

  “Yeah, well, I . . . Yeah, I did and—”

  “When?”

  “A day or two ago.”

  “Really? I must not have gotten them. Strange. Want to give them to me now?” She smiled but it didn’t reassure him.

  Oh no. He saw it in her eyes. Uncertainty. Then an obvious clue he should have picked up on the moment he’d called her name. She still stood behind the counter instead of rushing over to him. Not a good sign.

  “Instead of giving you the weird message, how ’bout I ask you a weird question?” He shifted his weight and tried to smile.

  Sarah put down her towel, walked around the counter, folded her arms, and put a mock skeptical look on her face. “Ready.”

  Micah inhaled slowly, then sighed.

  Sarah winked at him. “Wow, this is going to be good.”

  “When was the last time we saw each other?”

  “What?”

  “When’s the last time we talked?”

  “Wow! I’m that forgettable?” She raised her eyebrows. “Three days is all it takes, eh?”

  “No, not at all, I just—”

  “Just what?”

  “I’ve—”

  “You’re serious.”

  “Yeah.” Micah shrugged.

  “I must be a pretty boring dinner guest.”

  “Dinner? Which one?”

  Sarah backed up and leaned against the ice cream display case. “Are you okay? Since we’ve only had one, it’s that one.”

  This could not be happening.

  He slumped into an oak chair against the wall.

  “You’re spooking me a little here, Micah. You cooked for me at your house. We talked until 11:00 p.m. I think we both had a good time. You have to remember some of that conversation.”

  “I remember all of it. It’s just . . .” Micah felt the blood rush out of his face.

  “All right then, I feel better now. I think.” Sarah laughed. Micah could tell it was forced.

  Sarah turned and walked back around the counter. “I hope you don’t mind my cleaning up while we talk.”

  He swallowed hard. “If you’re kidding about this to say, ‘I told you so,’ now would be a great time to stop.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  Panic surged inside. She wasn’t kidding. There was no “I told you so” coming. The past four months with Sarah had disappeared.

  He grabbed the sides of his jeans and squeezed so hard his fingers hurt. In that moment he lost control and blurted out, “You have to remember us.”

  “Us?”

  “You and I are in love. Three days ago the last thing you said to me was, ‘Don’t go back to Seattle’ because you knew in your gut it was wrong. Tell me you remember!”

  Mistake.

  Big.

  A sliver of fear flitted in Sarah’s eyes, but he couldn’t stop.

  “You said don’t go, that it would be a horrible mistake. I said it would be okay and obviously it wasn’t, but I won’t let that take away what we had. We’ve built so much—”

  “Okay, you know what, Micah?” Sarah glanced at the people passing by Osburn’s windows. “I’m thinking we should postpone our bike ride out to Indian Beach next week, and if we’re ever supposed to do anything together again, we’ll let Providence handle the details.”

  Micah held up his hands in protest. “I know it sounds bizarre, but listen! We’ve been seeing each other very seriously for almost five weeks. I went back to Seattle to . . . and . . . things changed down here because of it, but now I’ve left Seattle to get my relationship with God back. Get you back.”

  Sarah stared at him, her eyes full of fire.

  “But it didn’t get back to the way it was down here. I don’t understand why. But I know I love you. I know we’re destined to be together.”

  Sarah let out a low wh
istle and shuffled backward till she reached the back wall. “This is a small town. So avoiding each other completely is probably impossible. But when you see me, you’ll cross to the other side of the street. If you’re out to eat, you’ll check the tables to see if I’m there. If I am, you’ll turn around and come back in an hour and a half. If you’re on the beach and you see me, you’ll pretend you forgot to turn off your espresso machine and head back home. Do we understand each other?”

  “Don’t do this, Sarah. I can talk you through it, help you remember.”

  “You need medical help.”

  “No, I need you. And you need me.” He pursed his lips together and closed his eyes. “Think back to that person you went on the bike ride with. That’s me. And we fell in love. I can’t pretend it didn’t happen.”

  “And I’m supposed to pretend it did because you’re delusional? Maybe this fantasy stuff works in your world, but in mine two people actually have to get to know each other without acting like they came from Jupiter before they can fall in love. Get out. Now!”

  Micah stood still as perspiration wound its way down his back while he pleaded with his eyes for her to believe him.

  She walked to the windows. “There are plenty of people right outside who could make your life uncomfortable if you insist on making more of a scene than you already have. Unless you get out right now, I’ll shout loud enough to break the glass.”

  Micah swallowed and left without a word.

  The jingle of the bells on the door as he stepped onto the sidewalk seemed to come from a distance. He stumbled south down Main Street and turned right at the end of the block headed for the beach. Micah held it together till he reached the edge of the water, where he emptied his stomach onto the damp sand.

  He’d given up Seattle, all of it, and returned to what?

  He stood and staggered toward Haystack Rock. Enough twilight remained for it to stand out as a looming shadow against the sky.