The Au Pair

by Janey Fraser

  ‘Let me show you your room,’ she announced gaily, skipping up the stairs after Jilly had left.

  The door was slightly ajar. ‘You go in first,’ said Lottie her eyes dancing.

  ‘Please, you.’ Marie-France knew this game!

  Lottie hesitated. ‘Mummy always said that guests should go first.’

  ‘Vraiment?’ Marie-France gave the door a little push without going in. As she did so, something fell from the top of the door. It was a large black plastic spider. ‘You want to terrify me, I think?’

  Lottie went bright red. ‘I didn’t know it was there.’

  Marie-France grinned. ‘I do the same when I am your age. I liked to play jokes on people.’ She thought back to the times when she had been small and had resented the attention Maurice had paid to her mother. ‘Now you like to help me unpack my things?’

  ‘Are you two all right up there?’ called out Matthew in a concerned voice.

  ‘Very fine. I shall descend and make supper, yes?’

  Lottie shook her head so that her plaits whirled around. ‘Daddy and I have already made you alphabet spaghetti.’

  ‘Delicious!’ Marie-France held out her hand. ‘I’m starving. Viens!’

  The table in the corner of the dining room had silver-framed photographs of a young woman smiling with a small baby in her arms. That must be the dead mother, she thought. How sad.

  Meanwhile, Lottie was at the head of the table, dishing out the orange pasta which had burnt bits round the edges, watched by her adoring papa. ‘It looks delicious, princess!’ He beamed. ‘Lottie made this on her own, you know.’

  Marie-France felt a slight lurch of jealousy. If she’d had a father to grow up with, would he have called her his ‘princess’?

  ‘This is yours!’ The little girl took care, Marie-France saw, to serve her food from the left side of the dish while she helped her father and herself to the other side.

  ‘It is permitted to swap, yes?’ She pushed her plate towards Matthew before touching it. ‘My portion is a little too enormous.’

  ‘Of course!’

  ‘No, Daddy—’ began Lottie, but it was too late. Matthew spat out the food on the plate in front of him.

  ‘Ugh! Princess, how much salt did you put in this?’

  Lottie’s face crumpled.

  ‘I am sorry, Daddy.’ She shot Marie-France a fierce look.

  ‘Do not worry.’ She beamed at the little girl. ‘Maybe I could make one of my special omelettes for us all! Come, Lottie. I will show you how it is done.’

  Marie-France spent the next few days trying to outwit her small charge. Luckily, her own experiences in sabotaging Maman’s boyfriends had taught her to be one step ahead.

  Before using the washing machine, she removed a pink top which would most certainly have ruined her other clothes. Every night, before getting into bed, she looked under the duvet and invariably found a variety of odd items including a lizard which she carefully put back in its tank.

  When the little girl offered to make her a cup of tea, she took a very small sip first. Just as she’d thought!

  ‘I used to do the same to my mother’s boyfriend,’ she remarked.

  ‘What?’ Lottie’s eyes were wide open with innocence.

  ‘Did you use one squirt of washing up-liquid or two?’

  ‘Three,’ began Lottie before stopping herself. ‘I mean, none.’

  Marie-France giggled. ‘Do not worry, I will not tell your papa!’

  Lottie’s face was a picture! Confusion was written all over it but there was something else too. A glimmer of amusement. Well, it was a start!

  Meanwhile, Marie-France still wasn’t getting anywhere with the search for her father. Sometimes, she wondered if he had moved on. After all, Corrywood was a transient place; not like her village where most people stayed for ever. Her father might well have gone to London. Or America. Perhaps he was dead … Marie-France shivered. Still, it was something to breathe in the same air and to walk past shops that he might have gone into.

  Then again, supposing, just supposing, that he was looking for her too? What if he had never stopped loving her, just as Matthew loved Lottie? It made her heart ache with what might have been …

  The following Saturday, when Matthew had told her that he didn’t need her help because he and Lottie were having some ‘father/daughter time’, Marie-France decided to catch the train into London on her own. She certainly wasn’t going with the girls from language class! Antoinette hadn’t even apologised since that terrible evening. And even her friend Heidi didn’t seem to think she’d done anything wrong by running off. ‘We have to look after ourselves, ja? But I knew you would be all right. You are strong like me.’

  So instead of calling any of the others, Marie-France spent a lovely day doing the sights like the London Eye and a museum called the Vee and Ay. On the way back, she found herself walking through a lovely square in So Ho and then down a street with busy, lit-up wine bars. She was thirsty! Maybe she would have a quick drink before heading back. Threading her way through the crowd, she joined the queue at the bar.

  ‘What can I get for you?’ asked the handsome barman in a French accent. Then he did a double-take.

  She gasped. ‘Thierry?’ She took in the mop of black hair, casually flicked over one eye: a style, she knew, that took several minutes to perfect. ‘Is that you?’

  His eyes were cold. ‘Do we know each other?’

  Marie-France stared at him. It was his voice. It was his face. He was leaning on the bar in the same casual way. And he still wore the little ring on his right hand that she had given him for his last birthday. ‘Thierry Baccall,’ she said in a low dangerous voice, ‘do not play games with me!’

  USEFUL PHRASES FOR GERMAN AU PAIRS

  Ja

  (Yes)

  Nein

  (No)

  Vielleicht

  (Maybe)

  Stört es dich, wenn ich rauche?

  (Do you mind if I smoke?)

  Hast du einen Aschenbecher?

  (Have you got an ashtray?)

  Chapter 24

  THE FIRST THING that Matthew noticed about the new au pair was her singing. Marie-France sang in the shower in the morning – which was, rather embarrassingly, right next to his bedroom so he could hear every movement – and she hummed happily while making breakfast. She also made up singsongs to get Lottie to do things she didn’t particularly want to do, such as going to school.

  ‘Time to get up,’ he heard her chant in a way that lifted the ‘up’ so that it sounded like a song. Somehow it lightened the atmosphere in the house. In fact, if they’d had her in the first place, they might have been all right.

  ‘I might be a little later tonight,’ he told Marie-France. ‘Do you mind cooking dinner again?’

  Marie-France nodded. ‘It will be my pleasure.’

  His too, thought Matthew. He had to give it to her; this girl could cook. ‘There’s only one thing. Lottie is allergic to cheese and she hates the taste. Or at least she has since her mother died.’ He stopped, not wanting to reveal personal details to a stranger but at the same time needing to explain something important. ‘Sally didn’t like cheese either, you see.’

  Marie-France raised her eyebrows. ‘So it is in her mind?’

  ‘Maybe. But it definitely makes her sick so I’d rather play safe. Talking of being safe, can you please make sure that you hold her hand when you come back from school? The cars here can go faster than they should.’

  ‘Bien sûr.’

  She thinks I’m fussing, thought Matthew. Well, so what? He’d already lost his wife; he couldn’t lose his only child as well.

  ‘Plis. I ask you something too?’

  Here we go, he thought. There was always a catch with these girls. What was it this time? More time off? A pay rise? A contribution towards language school?

  ‘Do you know of someone called John Smith who might live in the area? At least, he used to. He is an old man now. In
his sixties, I think.’

  What a strange request! ‘No, I’m sorry I don’t.’ As he spoke, he saw disappointment in her face. ‘But John Smith is a very common name,’ he added. ‘May I ask why you’re trying to find him if that’s not rude?’

  Something flickered in the girl’s eyes which were, he noticed, a rather striking greeny-blue. ‘He is a friend of my mother’s when she lives here many years ago.’

  ‘Well, if I hear of him, I’ll let you know. Now I must go.’ He looked up as Lottie appeared at the door wearing – amazingly – her school uniform. How had Marie-France persuaded her to get ready this early!

  He gave her a big hug. ‘Goodbye, princess.’

  Reluctantly, he went out to his car, aware that their curious neighbour was looking through the nets. She probably thought he was running a brothel with all these girls coming in and out! Unable to resist, he gave a sarcastic little wave. Why was it that some people simply couldn’t keep their noses out of everyone else’s business?

  Karen was already waiting for him with a cup of coffee and a Danish pastry. ‘I thought you might not have had time to eat,’ she whispered conspiratorially.

  He shot her a grateful smile. ‘Thanks. What would I do without you?’

  She flushed. ‘How’s the new au pair going?’

  It was odd, he thought, how much he’d taken to confiding in Karen. But since she’d come to babysit and actually been in his house, he had felt closer to her. ‘She seems pleasant enough and she’s a great cook.’

  Karen’s face seemed to stiffen slightly. ‘That’s nice for you.’

  ‘But she’s quite bossy. She even questioned the fact that Lottie is allergic to cheese.’

  Karen clicked her tongue. ‘You’re her father. You know her better than anyone.’

  ‘Exactly.’

  ‘Thanks. Look, I’ve got something to tell you, Karen. I’m going to hand in my notice.’

  ‘You’ve been headhunted!’ she gasped. ‘I knew it. Your talents are wasted here.’

  ‘No,’ he cut in. ‘I’m packing it all in. Lottie and I are going to move away. I’ll take a lower-paid job somewhere and work hours that fit in with her. It’s a gamble but we can’t go on like this.’

  Karen’s face was aghast. ‘But that means—’

  ‘Matthew?’ James was at the door. ‘I believe you wanted to see me about something urgently.’ He looked at his watch. ‘I’ve got a three-and-a-half-minute window before my next appointment.’

  Right. This was it. Crunch time! Nervously, Matthew followed him and sat down opposite. ‘I’m afraid I’m going to hand in my notice.’

  James nodded. ‘I suspected as much. I’ve tried to be flexible, Matthew, but your heart hasn’t been in it and, to be honest, I think it shows.‘ He pulled out a file. ‘Actually I’ve been having a look at your contract. When we set up our partnership, we agreed on a three-month termination period. I’d be grateful if you could stick to that to give us time to find someone else. OK?’

  Matthew was stunned. He knew he’d let James down but he hadn’t expected this! Then again, maybe he ought to have. There had to be a limit on how many times you could let someone down at work. Then he remembered Christina’s words.

  ‘If I was in your shoes, James, I’d feel the same.’ He held out his hand. ‘No hard feelings. All right?’

  James nodded. His handshake was firm. ‘I’m glad you can see it my way but I’m sorry it had to end like this.’ He handed over an official document. ‘Under the agreement, you’re entitled to the share you put in when you joined. Take a look at it and then sign it.’

  So James had got it all ready. Part of Matthew felt hurt; the other part relieved. His share would pay the bills and mortgage for a few months. But supposing he couldn’t find another job? It was a tricky market out there.

  The rest of the day was spent in a haze. It didn’t help that he had a project to finish by the end of next week: a conservatory design which meant he had to work late.

  ‘I think it’s disgusting,’ Karen kept repeating after he had told her, perhaps unwisely, about his conversation with James. ‘Are you sure you don’t want another doughnut? I always find that eating helps when you’re under stress.’

  Eventually he reached a stage where he could leave for the evening. By then the office was empty – even Karen had left – and he made his way to the car park, his head reeling with the events of the day.

  On impulse, on the way home, he took a left turn to the cemetery. It had been at least a month since he’d been here and then Lottie had been with him. Every now and then, at her bereavement counsellor’s suggestion, they had gone to lay a bunch of flowers on Sally’s grave.

  These, he noticed, now lay limply in the white urn he had bought. Crouching down at the side of the stone, he replaced them with a fresh spray of lilies, before pulling out the grass which had begun to grow over the words.

  Much-loved wife and mother.

  ‘That’s not entirely true, is it, Sally?’ he murmured.

  His wife, mused Matthew, had been a peculiar mixture of brittleness and vulnerability. On the one hand, she adored Lottie, yet on the other, she had declared that she didn’t know how to handle a baby and wanted to go back to work as soon as possible.

  ‘Hello?’

  A gentle voice – a familiar one – spoke from behind, making him jump. He looked up disbelievingly.

  ‘Christina?’ Getting to his feet, he hoped she hadn’t heard him speaking out loud just now. ‘What are you doing here?’

  It was then that he noticed she was holding a small bunch of freesias in her hand and a pair of secateurs too.

  ‘My husband is here,’ she said simply.

  ‘Your husband?’ he repeated. ‘But you got divorced!’

  She smiled sadly. ‘I actually told you that he betrayed me. Which he did. But then we talked about getting back together. Mike was on his way over when his car collided with a lorry.’

  What an idiot he’d been! She was a bereavement counsellor, wasn’t she? What could be more obvious than for someone like that to have experienced a similar situation?

  ‘I’m really sorry.’

  She bent her head graciously. ‘It was a long time ago now.’ Her eye flickered to Sally’s stone. ‘It appears that we are almost neighbours. Mike is over there.’ She smiled and Matthew realised how much he had missed that warm smile.

  ‘I tried to get hold of you,’ he said, feeling like a foolish schoolboy.

  ‘I took my daughter to Toronto to see her grandmother. My husband was Canadian.’

  Turning as if by mutual unspoken agreement to make their way back to the car park, they were now talking side by side.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ he said again. ‘How do you cope?’

  ‘By concentrating on the present.’ She stopped by her car and he realised he was closer to her now than he had ever been before. He could even smell her perfume, which was light and reminded him of roses. ‘But it’s not always easy. I was self-centred at first, only thinking about myself. And angry too. It took a while to work through it but I got there in the end. Just like you will.’

  ‘You think so?’

  ‘I’m certain of it.’

  Her confidence made him suddenly feel a whole lot better.

  Then she gave him another smile. It was surprisingly shy after her previous tone. ‘How are you getting on with the au pairs?’

  ‘We’re on the fifth so far. Or is it the sixth? Hard to keep up!’ Too late, he realised that his attempt to make light of the situation was rather sick when you thought of Sozzy. ‘But I’ve decided to call it a day. I’m giving up work after Christmas so I can concentrate on Lottie.’

  Her eyes looked worried. ‘How will you cope financially?’

  ‘We’ll sell up. Move somewhere cheaper. And I’ll do whatever it takes to put bread on the table.’

  ‘How does Lottie feel about that?’

  ‘She’s keen. And besides, I don’t trust anyone else to look a
fter her. It makes me really nervous every time a new one starts, in case they don’t watch her carefully enough when she crosses the road … Sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.’

  ‘It doesn’t. I’ve had to get over that myself. My daughter’s taking driving lessons now and I hate it. It’s not easy, Matthew. In fact …’

  She stopped.

  ‘Please go on.’

  ‘Well, you don’t think that Lottie has been trying to push away the au pairs because she’s picked up on your worries, do you?’

  ‘Maybe.’ The idea unsettled him.

  ‘Just a thought. Anyway, I must be going. Good to see you.’

  ‘Me too.’ Suddenly he didn’t want her to leave. ‘I’ve missed our chats. I don’t suppose you’re free for another coffee sometime, are you?’

  ‘Perhaps.’ Her voice didn’t sound certain. ‘Let’s just see, shall we?’

  Blast, he told himself as he drove home. You’ve really messed up there, haven’t you, Matthew? All the time he was silently accusing Christina of not understanding, she’d been through it herself. And now she’d think he was making a pass at her. The sooner he and Lottie got out of here and started a new life, the better. Maybe they should go to Scotland. Even though he wasn’t close to his sister, surely some family was better than none?

  As he pulled up outside the house, he could see the front door opening. Was that his little Lottie coming out to greet him? No. It was a tall chap, about his age, with a darkish complexion. The kind of smooth man-about-town type you saw in Sunday supplements, advertising expensive male fragrances.

  ‘Au revoir!’ Marie-France was saying gaily. She was actually kissing this man on both cheeks! Was he a boyfriend? Crossly, Matthew increased his pace. She was meant to be looking after his daughter at this time of the day, not entertaining men!

  They passed at the gate. The man was putting on his sunglasses and gave him a furtive look. ‘Can I help you?’ demanded Matthew.

  ‘I was just dropping something off. For Marie-France.’

  Then he was gone, heading towards an expensive-looking red sports car with the number plate PHIL 1 parked further down the road.