A Lady's Choice

by Sandra Robbins

  Thunder rumbled through the air and lightning flashed across the sky by the time the buggy pulled up to her uncle’s store. Uncle Charlie jumped out, helped Aunt Clara and Sarah step down, and hurried them toward the porch. “Clara has the key to the front door,” he said to Sarah. “I’ll get the horse in the barn before the storm hits.”

  He hurried back to the buggy and drove around the back of the store. When Aunt Clara had the door unlocked, she turned around. “Come on in, Sarah.”

  She shook her head. “I think I’ll sit out here a few minutes. I’ll lock the door behind me and then come on upstairs.”

  “All right. But don’t stay out here and get wet.”

  Sarah waited for Aunt Clara to go inside before she walked to the edge of the porch and clutched the railing. Only two months ago she’d stood here with her mother and grumbled that she had no friends in Richland Creek. A few minutes later she’d met a man who had opened her heart to what it meant to love. Now that she’d lost both him and her mother, loneliness was eating away at her like a dreadful disease.

  The heavens opened, and the rain began to pound on the tin roof of the store. Large drops of rain pelted the yard leaving depressed dusty circles in the dry earth. She watched as the rain grew heavier and formed big puddles in front of the store.

  After a few minutes she sighed and turned to go inside but stopped when she caught sight of a horse and rider approaching. The man sat hunched in the saddle, and rain poured from the brim of his hat. Sarah’s breath caught in her throat. She would recognize Alex anywhere.

  He pulled his horse to a stop in front of the store, dismounted, and looped the reins over the hitching post. He looked up at her, doubled his fists, and strode up the steps until he stood in front of her. His clothes clung to him, and he wiped his wet sleeve across his rain-streaked face.

  He took a hesitant step toward her. “I couldn’t let you go like this.”

  She struggled to keep from bursting into tears. “Please, Alex, there’s nothing left to say. We have different dreams, and they’ve set us on different paths. There’s no way for us to overcome that.”

  He took another step toward her. “But I love you, Sarah. I love you. I love you. That’s all I can think about.”

  His agonized words made her want to rush into his arms. Instead she backed away and pressed her hands to her ears. “Don’t say that.”

  He grabbed her hands in his and pulled them away from her ears. “I can’t let you leave without telling you I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. I knew it would be hard for us, but I wanted to try.”

  “I did too.”

  He grasped her shoulders and pulled her closer. “Is it really too late for us, Sarah? Can we not work this out?”

  “Alex, please…”

  He tightened his hold on her. “Answer me one thing. Do you love me?”

  “I…”

  He gritted his teeth. “Do you love me?”

  She closed her eyes and nodded. “Yes, I love you, but I can’t be the person you want. I’m going back to Memphis, and I’m going to throw myself into the suffrage movement. In time you’ll forget about me.”

  His dark eyes flickered with pain, and Sarah knew hers must mirror his. “So this is it. We throw away what we could have because we can’t find a way to work out our problems.”

  “Please,” she groaned. “How can we find common ground? I’ve grown up in a household where suffrage was talked about every day. From the time I was a child, I’ve wanted to fight the injustice of women not having the right to vote. You’re going to work for a man who forbids you to have contact with people in the suffrage movement. How can we overcome that?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t know. I just know I’m dying inside.”

  “I am too.”

  He leaned forward and touched his forehead to hers. They stood with their eyes closed for a moment until he spoke. “It can’t end like this.”

  She struggled to blink back her tears, but it was no use. “It has to, Alex. There’s no answer for us. Please go while I still have the strength to send you away.” Her last words were lost in a sob.

  He drew back and looked into her eyes for a moment before he leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll never forget you.”

  Her skin burned where his lips touched her. “You’ll always be in my heart, Alex.”

  He tightened his hold on her and then released her. He took a step back, reached up, and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “I’ll worry about you on your own.”

  “I’ll be all right. I’m very resilient.”

  His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “If you ever need me, let me know. I’ll come for you wherever you are. That’s my promise to you.”

  Before she could say anything, he turned and rushed down the steps. He grabbed the horse’s reins, jumped into the saddle, and galloped down the road. The rain beat down on him so that he soon disappeared from sight.

  Sarah watched for several minutes before she turned and entered the store. She locked the door behind her and leaned against it. The locket her mother had given her hung around her neck, and she opened it. The smiling faces of her parents peered up at her. She stared at them for a moment before she snapped it shut.

  A sudden burst of thunder shook the store, and she flinched. Outside, the fury of the storm unleashed itself. The house shook, and lightning flashed across the sky. Rain pounded the tin roof like the sound of a beating drum, and thunder rattled the windows.

  She thought of Alex riding through the storm and her knees grew weak. He’d be nearly drowned before he reached home, but Ellen would take care of him. But who would do the same for her? Her fairy tale that had once looked so promising had not ended with a happily ever after. She was alone and would be responsible for herself from now on. But she could do it. As she had once promised her father, she could be a formidable adversary, and she could face whatever the future threw at her.

  Ellen stood in the middle of Alex’s bedroom, her hands on her hips. “Do you want to take all this furniture when you move to Memphis?”

  He scratched his head and looked around at the room’s furnishings, which he had used all his life. “If you don’t need it, I think I’ll take all in this room. I can buy some things after I get settled.”

  “I couldn’t believe the size of that apartment when I saw it,” Ellen said. “You’ll have more room than you’ll know what to do with.”

  Alex walked over to the cedar chest and opened it. “Do you mind if I take these quilts and sheets with me? I don’t think I could sleep if I didn’t have one of your quilts covering me.”

  Ellen laughed and looked over his shoulder at the contents he rifled through. “Oh, I imagine when you get married your wife will want something other than old homemade quilts from your sister.”

  Her words caught him off guard, and the cedar chest’s top slipped from his hand. He caught it before it banged shut and eased it down. For days he’d tried to put his last meeting with Sarah out of his mind, and yet it returned at the most unexpected moments. He pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. “I don’t think I’ll ever marry, Ellen.”

  “Why not?”

  “I gave my heart away, and I have nothing left to give anyone else.”

  Ellen took his hand and pulled him toward the bed. They sat down facing each other, and Ellen looked into his eyes. “Alex, you can’t go on the rest of your life thinkin’ about Sarah. You’ve got to look for happiness somewhere else.”

  Alex shook his head. “I won’t ever love anyone else like I love her.” He faced his sister. “She said she loved me, Ellen, but she couldn’t give up her dream. If she really loved me, why was her dream more important to her than me?”

  “I don’t know. Have you ever turned that question around on yourself?”

  He frowned. “I don’t understand.”

  Ellen took a deep breath. “Well, if you really love her, why couldn’t you find a positio
n in some other law firm that didn’t oppose her cause?”

  Alex leaned forward and clutched his hands between his knees. “I’ve asked myself that. Then I tell myself what an honor it is to get a chance in James Buckley’s law firm. It’s the best in Memphis, if not in the whole state. This could open up all kinds of doors for me. And for you too.”

  Ellen’s eyes grew wide. “How’s it gonna help me?”

  “Because I’ll have more money to take care of you. That’s what I’ve always wanted.”

  Ellen chuckled and patted his arm. “You don’t have to take care of me. I’ve been in charge of this farm and all the tenant workers that help us for years. I think I’ve done a mighty good job of keeping a roof over my head and food on the table.”

  He straightened and put his arm around her. “You have, but I don’t want you to keep working so hard. I want to make life easier for you.”

  “I hope I didn’t do anything to make you think you had to repay me for taking care of you. I did it because I love you. The only repayment I want is for you to be the best lawyer you can be. It don’t matter a bit to me how much money you make as long as you remember to let God lead you.”

  “I’ll remember, Ellen. You taught me that.”

  Ellen sighed and pushed to her feet. “Then I guess we better get you packed to leave for Memphis. When do you think you’ll go?”

  “Mr. Buckley wants me there in two weeks. I thought I might go the middle of next week. That would give me some time to get settled before I report to the office.”

  Ellen lifted her hands and stared upward. “My baby brother a lawyer and working in a big law firm. Thank You, Jesus, for blessing us.”

  Alex smiled at Ellen’s display of gratitude toward God. She’d offered him the only support he’d ever had in life, and he intended to make her proud of him. Right now she might not understand how money would make a difference in her life, but she would later. He intended to give her a life of ease. He’d build her a new house on that rise in the field next to their house, and he’d fill it with the best furniture.

  She’d have dresses that would come from the finest stores in Memphis, and there would be a maid to clean her house and a cook to prepare her meals. And they’d travel. First off, he’d take her to South Carolina where their ancestors had lived before traveling to Tennessee in a covered wagon, and maybe later they’d take an ocean liner to Europe.

  Although he’d never spoken of this to her, he’d had these dreams for years. When he realized he was falling in love with Sarah, he had included her in his plans. She would be his wife and together they’d give Ellen the life she deserved.

  That dream had died when Sarah left to pursue her life with Edna Simpson and Roger Thorne. Just the thought of the man’s name made Alex’s skin crawl. Although he’d never seen him or even heard of him until Sarah read him the letter, Alex didn’t trust him. At first he’d thought it was only jealousy that spurred these feelings, but in the days since Sarah’s departure he’d recognized his concerns went a lot deeper.

  At the present time, however, he had no idea what he could do. Sarah was right when she said that they were set on different paths. She would be at her school and involved in the suffrage movement. If he was to build his career in Mr. Buckley’s law firm, he had to keep as far away from that world as possible.

  His heart thudded in despair, and he closed his eyes. “God, please take care of her.”

  Chapter Ten

  As a student at Mrs. Simpson’s school, Sarah had never appreciated the small class sizes and the well-equipped classrooms. Now as a teacher, she realized how privileged she’d been to attend school here. Her father must have sacrificed to pay the tuition she never thought about. Now, after two weeks in the classroom, she was overcome again with how fortunate she was to work with such an elite group of teachers who were dedicated to their students. As a first-year teacher, she felt lost at times, but the staff had been quick to come to her aid, especially her former teachers who accepted her as an equal. She’d made the right decision in coming here.

  Lost in thought, she walked from the building that housed the classrooms into the garden that separated it from the main house and sat down on a bench. She’d just finished reading the first page of the book she’d brought from her classroom when Christine Donovan, another first-year teacher, exited the school.

  Sarah scooted over to give her room to sit. “Are you just now leaving for the day?”

  Christine dropped down on the bench. “Yes. I had some papers to grade, so I’m later than usual. You don’t know how lucky you are to live here at Mrs. Simpson’s house. I have a long streetcar ride to my apartment over on Union.”

  Sarah only nodded. “I needed a place to live, and Mrs. Simpson needed someone to oversee the students who board. It worked out well for both of us, but I’ll probably get an apartment next year.”

  “You’d better enjoy living here while you can. It’s a lot better than being on your own like I am. I grew up in an orphanage and worked my way through Normal School to get my teaching certificate. I don’t mind telling you it’s been a struggle.”

  Sarah’s heart pricked at Christine’s words. “I had no idea. But look how it’s worked out. You have a teaching job now, and you’re able to support yourself.”

  A smile pulled at Christine’s mouth. “Yes, and there’s a man in my life too. Maybe it won’t be too long before I won’t have to teach. Instead I can be a wife.”

  Sarah squeezed her hand. “I hope it works out for you.”

  Christine straightened. “Well, enough of that talk. How was your day?”

  Sarah slipped her bookmark between the pages and closed the book. “It was fine. I really enjoy working with the younger children. I’m so glad Mrs. Simpson assigned me that classroom.”

  Christine smoothed her blond hair into place and straightened the wide-brimmed black hat she wore on her head. “Be thankful you don’t have the eighth-grade girls. I don’t know if I will survive them or not.”

  Sarah laughed and nodded. “I remember what I was like at that age. I must have driven my parents out of their minds.” She patted Christine’s hand. “But don’t worry. You’ll survive.”

  She sighed. “Mr. Thorne said the same thing. I hope the two of you are right.”

  “Right about what?” Mr. Thorne’s voice startled Sarah, and she glanced up to see him standing in front of them.

  Christine rose to her feet. “We were just talking about our classes.”

  His eyes twinkled. “And you’re still worried? I thought you’d gotten over that.”

  “I’m trying, but some of those girls are a handful.”

  His reassuring smile lit up his blue eyes. “My aunt and I have assured you we have faith in you. I hope you won’t worry about it anymore.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Thorne. I appreciate the confidence you and Mrs. Simpson have in me.” She glanced back at Sarah. “I need to go. I don’t want to miss the streetcar. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Sarah nodded. “Have a good evening, Christine.” She waited for Christine to get out of earshot before she turned her attention back to Mr. Thorne. “Did you need to see me?”

  His eyes twinkled, and a mischievous smile pulled at his mouth. He glanced over his shoulder at Christine’s retreating figure before he leaned forward and whispered in a conspiratorial manner. “I saw you sitting out here with your shoes off, and I thought I should come warn you before Aunt Edna spots you. She might not approve.”

  Sarah laughed and reached for her shoes that sat underneath the bench. “Then I’d better put them back on. I don’t want to be reprimanded after only two weeks on the job.”

  His smile deepened, and he pointed to the bench. “Do you mind if I sit with you?”

  “No, please do.” He eased onto the bench in a graceful move that reminded her of the ballet dancers she’d seen at the Orpheum Theater last year. He crossed his legs and pressed the crease in his trousers with his fingers.

 
“You should know you have nothing to fear as far as reprimands go. Aunt Edna and I are so happy to have you back we wouldn’t dream of upsetting you.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Thorne. I’m glad to be back too.”

  A small frown flashed across his forehead, and he tilted his head to one side. “There is one thing I would like for you to do, Sarah.”

  “Of course. What is it?”

  “I know you had to call me Mr. Thorne when you were a student here, but you don’t have to now. I would like for you to call me Roger.”

  She gave a small gasp. “I don’t know if I can do that. It doesn’t seem respectful enough. After all, you are my employer.”

  “I know, but we’re also members of the suffrage group. I have a feeling you’re going to be one of our brightest stars, Sarah, and I want us to work together as equals.” He reached over and covered her hand with his. “Won’t you do this for me, please?”

  He bent forward, and the afternoon sun sparkled on his blond hair. A pleading look lit his eyes, and she nodded. “If that’s what you want, I’ll try.”

  He smiled and stood. “That’s all I can ask. Now I almost forgot why I really came out here. Aunt Edna wanted you inside for an early dinner. She’s having something to eat in her room while she gets ready for the meeting here tonight to plan the reception we’re having for Mrs. Catt when she comes to Memphis in October.”

  Sarah jumped to her feet and clasped her book to her chest. “I haven’t forgotten. I can’t believe Carrie Chapman Catt is coming to Memphis. It’s like a dream come true that I’m going to get to meet her.”

  “I know. We’re all excited. She’s taking her second term as president of the National American Woman Suffrage Association very seriously and is traveling all across the country. We were fortunate to get one of her stops scheduled in Memphis.” He held out his arm. “Now if you’ll allow me, I will escort you inside for dinner.”