by A. L. Wood
As the credits roll for the movie, I stand up and start cleaning the house up, empty glasses linger around the end tables next to the couch and bags of chips are discard on the floor. Drunk ladies have no sense of cleanliness when watching movies.
“Abby, save the mess for the morning.” Selena calls out from the bathroom.
Raven and Sage linger in the kitchen, finishing off the remnants of the daiquiris we made before the movie started.
“So dinner tomorrow night? Have you decided where you’d like to eat, seeing as how you’ll be leaving the comforts of home for a couple months?” Sage asks.
“You know I’m not picky, wherever you guys want to go is fine with me.” Food is food, wherever you are. After the life I’ve lived I have long since gotten used to not getting attached to one place for too long. Maybe that’s why I chose to fall in love with the job that I did.
Some have called me lucky that I’ve visited so many places. Adventures I’ve taken, goals on my bucket list that I’ve crossed off. Sometimes though, I would like to find a place I could call home, maybe a person to me feel at home.
“Just choose a damn place Abagail, you’re going away for God knows how long, leaving us all here behind to wait in the dust you kick up at us while running away. The dinner is for you. So you can celebrate getting what you’ve always wanted. So just choose a fucking place!” Raven bursts out.
“Raven, I know that your sadness over me leaving likes to come out as anger but I really don’t want to go being mad at you. So please, leave your bullshit at the door.” I say with patience in my voice.
“I’m going to head home.” She sneers at me. “Sage wanna share a cab?”
“Sure, we’ll call it a night. Text me when you guys decide where we’re going to meet up.” Sage says pulling me in for a hug.
Raven trails behind her, leaving the apartment. Selena decides at that time to enter the kitchen, “they left already?” She asks.
“Yeah, they were ready for bed. I am too, you need to decide where we’re meeting up tomorrow and text them. Night.”
“Goodnight.”
Chapter 4
“Get your ass outta bed,” I smack Jason in the forehead.
“Mhmphhh,” he mumbles something ineligible while covering his face with his blanket.
We leave for our six-month tour soon, something that Ryan was able to negotiate with the label on. After weeks of talk and negotiating on Ryan’s part they agreed to only one show per week and extended hotel stays because Natalie and Temperance are joining us. He also, even I have no idea how, managed to get them to throw in an extra bus that was specially modified to have a crib and changing table installed.
“Come on, wake up. We leave in fifteen, I hope you packed last night.” I say while ripping Jason’s blankets completely off the bed, so he can’t grab on to them.
“Yeah, yeah I’m getting up.”
“Meet me downstairs.” I say while exiting his bedroom. We’ve all remained rooming at Ryan and Natalie’s, not that they’ve minded. We stay out of their way and allow them family time while also helping out whenever they want some time alone.
I hit the landing at the bottom of the stairs in the kitchen and notice that Nat’s still in her pajamas while feeding Temperance in her high chair.
“You’re not ready yet?” I ask. “We’re supposed to head out in a few, want me to help with anything?
“Ryan’s putting everything in the car now, but I think we might be leaving shortly after you guys. I still have to get myself and her dressed. If you ran some bags out to Ryan, it would make it go a little faster. Everything’s sitting next to the front door.” She says while doing the flying spoon through the air to Temperance’s mouth mimicking an airplane.
Am I the only one that’s ready to get this tour started today?
The wall next to the door has a barricade of luggage propped against the wall. I swing two duffle bags around my shoulders and extend the handles of four suitcases and make my way outside to the car Ryan’s currently packing everything in.
After three trips the same way, my arms and hands overloaded everyone’s luggage is loaded. Jason, Zepp and Ryan are dressed and ready to go while Natalie and Temperance are still eating in the kitchen.
“Want to meet us there?” I ask Ryan.
“Yeah, I’ll help Nat get Temp ready while she’s getting dressed and on the way over I’ll stop and grab Liam and Layla. Would you do me a favor and call to give them a heads up? We’re already running so behind that it would be easier if they were ready to go as soon as I pull in.”
“Sure, I’ll have Jason call them while I’m driving over to the labels parking lot.”
This gold digging bitch, for some reason, believes she has a connection with me that goes beyond mere attraction. I’ve been trying to shake her off for a few months now and I thought I had succeeded. Turns out she was just laying low, somehow she in turn trumpeted my plans and managed to gain employment through our record label.
Here we are packing all of our shit onto the bus we will be somewhat living out of for the next six months when the car the broad is in pulls up alongside the curb. At first, the long golden locks flowing freely down this woman’s back were unrecognizable. It had been months, so how should I have been able to remember who she was, that’s what I keep telling myself anyways, but I did. I knew it as soon as she stepped out of the car,
I glanced, saw her back view, admired it for a moment and continued packing luggage into the compartment on the outside of the bus. The guys already grabbed the shit they wanted with them on the bus, all of this crap is the luggage we would take into a hotel with us. Hotels that we will be staying at more than before, due to the fact that Natalie and Temperance have joined us as well, with lots of convincing on Ryan’s part.
Luckily, the label put up a large sum of money for them to have their own bus, they need room, and the baby needs room. Zepp, Jason and I have been staying at Ryan’s for well over a year now, but that place is fucking huge. A mansion if you will. Layla and Liam stop around every week, but they've been staying to themselves a little more than normal, if only because their relationship is still something new.
Jason, Zepp and I showed up earlier than everyone else so we could claim our bus and beds before everyone else. Normally we would have two busses when we go on tour, this time around though we have three.
One bus, usually the more run down one of them all is for the road crew. Our tour manager, lighting specialist, sound tech, the roadies who set the stage. Another is for Natalie, Ryan and Temperance, and I am guessing Layla and Liam as well. They wouldn't want to be on the ‘party’ bus seeing as how their together.
After packing my, Jason, and Zepp’s hotel luggage into the side compartment of the bus we already claimed I look around to see where Abagail had run off to. She needs to get it through her head right now- that there is nothing between her and I. Following me around on tour is not part of ‘nothing.’ She’s making it pretty clear that she has no idea what the definition of nothing is.
When my eye catches her, I see that she’s standing next to the road crew bus. Breathe in. Breathe out. Calm is the best emotion for this situation.
I knew she was a little clingy, but I had no idea she would take to the extreme of what I call a stage five clinger. A groupie.
“What are you doing here?” I ask harshly when I approach her.
“Well, that isn't such a nice greeting Gage. I thought for sure you'd be happy to see me.” She says with light in her eyes.
“Abagail, the last time we saw each other I made it clear as fucking day that I would be happy if I never saw you again. How in the world did you get the impression that I would be over the fucking moon to see you?”
She flinches, but catches herself almost too fast. But I caught it. I hit the nail on the head, she knew that I didn't feel the same as her and that hurt her.
We- no, she and I are not a we, she and I had and still have nothing.
“I’m sorry you feel that way, I was sure you would have heard by now. I’m your new tour manager.” Abagail informs me never breaking eye contact.
I’m not an angry guy. Shit, I’m the happiest fucking person I know. This woman though, she brings the rage out and she knows it. Instead of falling into her trap and replying, I’ve been here a few times already with groupie women. Every time one of them annoys me I reply, and we end up arguing. Then I end up wanting to fuck, not something I do with the same person twice, and if I were to with Abagail we’d end up arguing all over again. I’d rather not do this again.
She just doesn't fucking get it. What is it going to take? And why the hell did Ryan not tell me he hired her on?
I walk away from the temptation of a war with words. Ryan better get his ass here and explain soon.
Chapter 5
Dinner was far better than I expected, the night before. Raven decided to leave her judgment’s and anger behind. We had a nice peaceful dinner, drinks excluded because the last thing I needed was a hangover this morning. I left Sage and Raven with tight embraces and promises of routine calls and text messages. Went home and passed out. I rose early, because if anything would make me look bad in the eyes of the band it would be showing up late, or worse showing up last.
“Are you ready to go?”
“Just a minute, I’m just making sure I haven’t forgotten anything.”
“You packed days ago, why didn’t you do this then?”
“I always check before we leave, you act like this is something new. Just help me, read this list off and if I tell you I have it mark it off.” I say while handing my checklist to Selena.
“You really had to make a list?”
“Yes, now start reading it off to me.”
“Cellphone.”
“Got it,” I say while tucking it into my pocket.
“Cellphone charger, Kindle, wallet.”
“Yup, yup, yup.”
“Identification in your wallet?” Selena asks.
“Yes.”
“Toothbrush, toothpaste, headphones.”
“Check.”
This goes on for a few moments later until I’m sure that I have everything on my list, and it’s packed away into the right suitcase. Every time I’ve had to leave for a tour I always ask Selena to see me off. Out of our group of friends her and I have always been the closest, and leaving my car, if I owned one, in the parking lot wouldn’t be something I’d want to do.
The drive to Hard Wired Records, where the tour buses are leaving from, isn’t a long one. As soon as Selena pulls alongside the first bus, I open the door to make my exit. She puts the car in park while she helps me unload my two bigger suitcases while I throw my carry-on bag over my shoulder. I lean in to give her a hug and whisper my goodbyes. She has tears in her eyes, as she does every time I leave. It guts me to see how much my absence affects her, yet she never whispers a word about wanting me to stay. She’s selfless like that, she knows that this job isn’t only a dream or want, but deep and aching need. I would never be content staying in one place, even while a large part of me desperately longs for a home of my own.
As she pulls away, I spot him. The one who turned my world upside down.
Just as soon as my eyes land on him, I walk the other way. Confrontation is something I’ve never been a fan of, even if it’s needed. I find some of the members of the road crew loading up a bus so I walk over to the most-approachable one. He’s a little taller than me, with what I think is a smile on his face is, his facial hair covers most of his lips.
“Hello, I’m Abagail, could you tell me where Ryan Hurst might be?”
“Chad, nice to meet you Abagail. I haven’t seen Ryan around, but I’m sure he’ll be here soon. Most of the band is here already so maybe one of them can help you.” He says while walking over to a pile of suitcases sitting next to the opened hatch on the tour bus.
Thanks for all your help, I wisely keep those sarcastic words to myself. As I turn to walk in the direction to the other bus, the one that Gage was not at, the topic of my thoughts approaches me.
“What are you doing here?” He asks me with hatred and distaste lacing his words.
“Well, that isn't such a nice greeting Gage. I thought for sure you'd be happy to see me.” I say unflinching, leaving the appearance that he doesn’t affect me on my face.
“Abagail, the last time we saw each other I made it clear as fucking day that I would be happy if I never saw you again. How in the world did you get the impression that I would be over the fucking moon to see you?” I flinch at the words he spits out.
Yup, that hurt. Deeply. It cuts all the way into my chest, into my lungs, causing my last intake of oxygen to freeze on its way out. Don’t show him how much he affects you. I replace the look of pain that’s most likely shadowing my face with one of an unaffected grin.
“I’m sorry you feel that way, I was sure you would have heard by now. I’m your new tour manager.” I inform him as I walk away. More like running away in a very slow state.
Well, there that goes. Wonderful. I guessed he would act a certain way, slightly pissed off was possible. Complete dick wasn't the word I had ready to describe him, yet there he was. He is right, the last time I saw him, many months ago he made it very clear how he felt about me. The thing is he was making a whole hell of a lot of assumptions that morning. I tried to make reasons for why he acted the way he did, maybe he was still slightly inebriated, maybe he didn’t want to stick to the friendly goodbye he claimed we’d do. Nevertheless, I live my life day to day. If anything more was meant to have happened then, it would have. If it didn't, then it didn't and I would be okay. A man, one man, does not make me who I am.
I can survive being alone for the rest of my life, I am completely fine with that. Would it be nice to share my life with another? Absolutely. But by no means will I try to go for a relationship with someone who believes me to be some gold digging whore. If anything being accused of such a crazy idea caused me to back off more. Sure it crushed the idolization I had going on for him, knocked him off that pedestal I placed him upon but I was moving past the one night he and I shared.
Apparently that was something he wasn't capable of doing just yet. Had he let it go this meeting wouldn't have been so awkward. I see him job over to Ryan and start pointing at me, most-likely bitching about my presence. I choose to take the high road and ignore him. I gracefully walk over to Layla, whom I met once before. She’s standing next to Liam, who is in turn shoulder to shoulder with Ryan and Gage.
“Hey Layla,” I greet her by holding my hand out, palm up. She ignores my hand and returns my greeting with a quick hug.
“Abagail, was it?”
“Yeah, you can call me Abby though.”
A beautiful woman holding a baby with both hands joins Layla. “This is Natalie, you can call her Nat. This is Ryan's wife.” She says smiling.
“It’s so nice to meet you, I’m the new tour manager.” I say to explain the reason of why I’m there, in case Ryan hadn’t mentioned it to everyone else, seeing as how Gage didn’t know. So she’s aware that I’m not just another groupie crazed fan.
“Ryan mentioned the label hired someone new, I sure hope you're ready for these guys. They'll put you to work. After this tour, I’m not sure you'll want to continue in this profession.” Natalie says laughing.
Ryan cuts in, “we’re not as bad as she says, or as bad as Gage likes to portray us as. I’m Ryan, nice to meet ya.” He says while holding his hand out.
I take his hand and give it a firm shake, then look to where he was previously standing. Gage is still there, with Liam and the scowl on his face is priceless. He was probably hoping that by bitching to Ryan about me he could get me kicked off this tour before it even started. I smile back, teeth showing. I turn back to Ryan, “If we could gather everyone so we can go over the first leg of this tour I would very much appreciate that.”
“Not a problem, we’re just waiting on the rest
of the crew to show. They should be here any minute.”
Thirty minutes later everyone has shown up and all of the luggage is packed away either in the compartments of the three busses or on the actual bus. Two vans are gassed up and parked behind the busses ready to hit the road. About thirty people swarm around me in one big circle, I’ve only met the one crew member, Chad, so far, so hopefully I can introduce myself with minimal awkwardness. Only the actual band members and public speaking has never been my thing. I prefer behind the scenes. Taking a deep breath I start, “Hello everyone, I’m Abagail. I am the new tour manager, I can’t say how long I will be with all of you. But Hard Wired has informed me it will be for the next two months at the very least. I just wanted to go over the first few days of the tour, every week we will have a meeting before we set out, just so everyone will know what’s going on and where we’re going. As of right now we have two days to be in North Carolina. This drive isn’t going to take up our entire two days, but the label has allotted extra time for us to reach our destination. Time that if we use wisely can give you an extra day before the show in Raleigh.
“I will be sending out itineraries to each of your e-mails so that you know what it is you are to be doing that day. The first show is sold out, and if everyone works their best making this show the best it could be, it could help sell out all of our other stops. Anyway, I just wanted to make sure you are all on the same page. The navigation systems in the vans already have the address saved, as long as no one has an issue I see no reason why we shouldn’t load up and head out now.”
I breathe in deeply, relaxing myself. Everyone starts milling around, deciding where each of them are riding. Ryan, Natalie, Liam and Layla load up into the middle bus. Jason grabs me and pulls me onto the first bus, shutting the door behind me.
“What do you think you're doing?” I ask brushing his hands off me.
“You're bunking with us. You certainly didn't think we would let you ride with the crew did you?”