“I just wanted to check up on you. Everything okay?”
“Yes.” There wasn’t much conviction in her voice though. “No. Not really.”
“What are you looking at?”
She released a shuddering breath. “That’s where we put the Christmas tree. I was just remembering the holidays we had in this house.”
He moved beside her and slid his arm across her shoulders because words alone wouldn’t ease her sorrow. “It’s a crappy time to have to move.”
“Any time would be hard.” She leaned into him. “I know it’s just a house. But—”
“What?”
“I feel as if I’m losing him again.”
“I understand.” He was pretty sure he did. “When I left the house in Texas where I lived with Lara, I felt something like you’re feeling now. But it wasn’t all bad. It was time for a change of scene.”
“I know you’re trying to help,” she said. “And I appreciate it very much. But I just feel so lost.”
Hunter studied her face and saw how hard she was trying to be brave and not give in to the profound grief, and his heart squeezed painfully. He would never be sure whether it was for her or himself, but he folded her against him.
“It’s okay, Merry. Feel the feelings.”
Her shoulders shook with sobs then and he held her, doing his damnedest not to take his own advice and feel his own feelings. He badly wanted to tell her that he would make it okay. But he knew better than anyone that was impossible. And if he gave in to this urge to try and fix her heartache, he would be risking a pain he was all too familiar with. Losing someone a second time would destroy him. And not only him. Wren was already attached to Merry. He didn’t want to deepen the bond by crossing a line and hurt his daughter, too.
Everything inside of him was saying, Don’t care for this woman. And he was trying his damnedest not to. But somehow Merry was invading his heart in spite of his resolve. And he didn’t know how to make it stop.
Chapter Thirteen
“You are going to be a fantastic reindeer.” The play was going to start soon and Hunter was backstage trying to reassure his anxious child. That was a tall order since he looked a little frantic himself.
“I’m scared, Daddy.”
Merry recognized the classic signs of stage fright because she’d experienced it herself.
After countless hours memorizing lines and practicing being Rudolph’s best reindeer friend, Wren knew her part backward and forward. In fact, preparation had consumed them in the days after Merry had moved out of her house. She was grateful for the distraction because it had kept her from dwelling on the sadness of saying goodbye. And she was thankful that Hunter had held her when she cried. It was the last time he’d touched her and she’d been waiting for a good time to talk to him about that. But first the play. One crisis at a time.
Spectators and performers were gathering in the Rust Creek Falls Community Center. It was bigger than the school’s multipurpose room in order to accommodate the students and their families, along with anyone else in town who wanted to attend. Most people did. Wren’s whole family, headed by her beloved Gramps, were all out in the audience somewhere.
The noise level was high, which probably added to the anxiety. Wren was already in her one-piece reindeer costume. Merry had pulled the child’s blond hair up onto the crown of her head, then curled the long strands and made ringlets. She’d used brown eyebrow pencil to darken her little nose and there was only one accessory left.
“Let’s put this on.” Merry was holding a brown headband with antlers attached. After the little girl’s tentative nod, she slid it into place then fluffed out the curls. “Oh, my—”
“What? Is it bad?” Wren asked anxiously.
Hunter took a picture with his cell phone. “You look great.”
“It’s kind of like a tiara,” Merry said.
“Can a reindeer be a princess?” she asked.
“Yes,” Hunter said instantly. “As far as I’m concerned you are Dancer, the reindeer princess. Reindeer are the only deer species in which the females also grow antlers. So, tap into your inner royalty and you’ll do fine.”
“I’m afraid I might forget my lines.”
If possible, Hunter looked even more nervous than his daughter. “I don’t suppose it would help to tell her to picture the audience in their underwear,” he whispered to Merry.
She shook her head. “She’s probably too young to understand the concept.”
“I’m a parent. I feel like I should know just what to say that would help her not freeze up.” Frustration darkened his eyes.
Merry had thought a lot about her parents since cleaning out the house. She’d gone through a lot of mementos she kept of her mother and a memory came back to her now, as clearly as if it had happened yesterday.
She went down on one knee in front of the little girl. “When I was about your age I was in a school play, too. I was so frightened I could hardly talk. But my mother said something to me that really helped.”
“What?”
“She said, ‘When you come out on stage, just look for me in the audience. And remember that I love you, no matter what.’”
“Okay.” The little girl nodded.
Merry gave her a hug, then stood. “So if you’re nervous, look for me.”
Hunter was standing next to a break in the curtains and peeked out. He moved next to her and whispered in her ear. “It’s starting to fill up out there. Why don’t you go grab a couple of seats before all the good ones are gone. I’ll stay here with Wren.”
His breath stirred the hair by her ear and made her shiver with awareness. Part of her wanted to melt into him. The other part that was annoyingly rational knew that was a bad idea.
“Okay.” She looked at Wren. “We are going to be right where you can see us. Break a leg. That’s a show business expression that means you’re going to do great.”
Merry gave her one last reassuring smile, then exited stage right and surveyed the audience seating, concentrating on the center seats near the front. She spotted two in the second row and moved quickly to grab the chairs.
There was an older woman sitting next to them and Merry made eye contact. She indicated the two empty chairs. “Are these taken?”
“They are now.” The silver-haired woman smiled. She looked to be somewhere in her sixties.
Merry sat beside her and plopped her purse on the empty chair to make sure it was saved for Hunter. “Thanks.”
“I’ve seen you around town but I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Linda Dempsey.”
“Merry Matthews. I’m an educational aide at the elementary school.”
“Your father is Ed, right? The electrician? I heard he passed away a few months ago. I’m very sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you.”
The woman’s expression was sincerely sympathetic. “Your dad did good work. And he was a nice man. He’ll be missed by folks in this town.”
“That’s very nice of you to say.” It was comforting to know the father she’d loved so much would be fondly remembered. “How long have you lived in Rust Creek Falls?”
“All my life. Born and raised here.” She smiled wickedly and her expression was decidedly conspiratorial when she leaned closer. “I know I don’t look old enough, but I’ve seen my share of feuds, clandestine affairs and generally outrageous behavior involving some or most of this town’s prominent families. Not much stays secret around here. Rust Creek Falls isn’t that big and gossip spreads fast.”
“Sounds like some interesting history,” Merry commented.
“That’s for sure.” Linda glanced at the stage where the sound of young voices drifted from behind the curtain. “Do you have a child in the play tonight?”
“Yes. No. Well, kind of.” She laughed and shrugged. “In addition
to my other job I’m also a nanny for Hunter Crawford’s little girl.”
“So that’s you. I heard he hired someone.” The older woman looked thoughtful. “Didn’t the Crawfords buy the Ambling A Ranch? The old Abernathy place?”
“Yes.” She remembered the diary discovered beneath a rotted floorboard at the main house. She’d heard the book was jewel encrusted and with the letter A on the front the theory was that it had belonged to one of the Abernathys. “Did you know the previous owners?”
“I heard stories about them.” That didn’t really answer the question.
“Stories?” There was a commotion behind her, female laughter as a group of women filled in the row.
“The Abernathys left town in the middle of the night without saying anything to anyone. The rumor was that Josiah Abernathy got a girl pregnant. And that the baby was stillborn. It’s said the heartbroken mother had a breakdown and went crazy. From what I hear, it was a huge scandal at the time.”
Merry heard the Crawford brothers talk about a girl being pregnant but the diary just mentioned her initial. W. “Do you know the pregnant woman’s name?”
“No. I never heard,” the woman said. “Such a sad story if it’s true. I much prefer lovers to have a happy ending.”
“Maybe the rumors are wrong,” Merry suggested. “Maybe Josiah and his mysterious love lived happily ever after.”
Linda smiled. “You’re a woman after my own heart. I like you.”
“Thanks. I like you, too.” Merry smiled.
This woman hadn’t given her much but it could be another piece of the Abernathy family puzzle. The way the Crawfords talked about the romantic passages Josiah had written to his beloved W, she had a feeling they would be very interested in this information.
She’d been so focused on what Linda was saying, Merry was surprised when she saw that the community center was nearly full. Finding two seats together was impossible now and couples were having to split up. A man she recognized as the father of a boy in Wren’s class stopped at the end of her row.
He pointed to the place holding her purse. “Is that seat taken?”
She nodded. “I’m saving it for Hunter Crawford. His daughter is in the play and she’s nervous so he’s with her for moral support.”
“Okay. Thanks anyway.” He moved on.
“So, that’s Hunter Crawford’s nanny.”
Merry heard the comment from a woman in the row behind her.
Another female voice said, “I heard they’re an item.”
“Well, she lives with him. That makes her awfully handy.” The third comment was catty and from yet another woman.
A trio of mean girls. Merry told herself to feel sorry for them but it was hard to pull off when her face was burning with embarrassment.
Linda patted her hand. Obviously she’d overheard. “He’s a very good-looking man and women notice that sort of thing. So it hasn’t escaped attention that you’re dating him.”
This woman was right. Not much that happened in this town was missed. They’d come to the tree lighting, then had hot chocolate. People had obviously noticed, but that didn’t mean they’d gotten the details right.
“We’re not dating,” she told Linda.
“That’s probably a good thing.” There was sadness and sympathy in the woman’s eyes. “It’s common knowledge that he’s a widower. For five years I was with a man who’d lost his wife. He never could care about me the way he did for her. In time I could see that I was never going to get my happy ending with him so I broke it off. I know from experience that competing with a dead woman for a man’s heart is not just a losing proposition. It’s also painful.”
Merry was stunned. It had bothered her when Hunter had suggested they keep their relationship a secret. Did he not want anyone to know because he was still in love with his wife?
What if there was no room in his life for someone else? Merry knew she couldn’t settle for that. Obviously he’d been hurt and could be protecting himself. She could deal with that. But there was no way to win if he was still in love with the woman he’d lost.
The day he helped her move, when he’d held her in his arms, he’d said he understood how it felt to leave a place you loved. When he left Texas he’d had to say goodbye to his wife. What if that was about still loving her?
* * *
Wren looked like she was going to cry, and walking away from her backstage was one of the hardest things Hunter had ever done. But the teacher basically kicked him out, in the politest possible way. So he gave his little girl a big smile and left.
He spotted Merry right away. Something about her thick blond curls stood out and caught his attention. Sliding past the people filling in the row, he took the seat beside her when she moved her purse.
“Thanks for saving this,” he said.
“Sure.”
It was only one word but something about her tone was off. He couldn’t put his finger on it except that she sounded very un-Merry-like. That was to say not very cheerful.
Hunter looked at her and noticed a paleness to her normally rosy cheeks. She’d been her normal self backstage, giving Wren a pep talk.
“Are you okay?” he asked quietly.
“Fine.”
The snap in her voice said otherwise. It was a reminder of how much he hated that word coming from a woman. Or maybe it was just that he knew something was bugging her and they were going to talk later. Come to think of it, he didn’t like that either.
It wasn’t often that circumstances saved a guy from putting his foot in his mouth, but he got lucky when the curtains parted, the house lights dimmed and a little girl was standing onstage in a red velvet dress. She was the play’s narrator and set up the story of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. There was enthusiastic applause from the standing room–only audience after her short speech. Then the eight reindeer trotted out followed by a discouraged-looking Rudolph. The big red nose was a clue to his identity.
Hunter zeroed in on Wren, who sidled up to the dejected Rudolph. He would die for his child and wanted to protect her from any conceivable hurt, including public humiliation. This was where her dialogue was supposed to start and she looked terrified, hesitating too long. His chest felt tight.
“Look at me, sweetie,” Merry whispered.
Almost as if she’d heard, Wren scanned the audience and grinned. He saw that Merry was holding up her hand with the pinkie, index finger and thumb up while the other two fingers curled into her palm. The “I love you” hand sign.
His little girl turned to Rudolph and said in a loud and confident voice, “Why are you so sad?”
The words were full of emotion. She’d nailed it and he breathed a sigh of relief. The rest of the story was a traditional telling of the red-nosed reindeer dealing with teasing because he was different. After saving Santa’s mission on a foggy night, he was, of course, a hero. And the last line of the presentation was Wren’s.
“The moral of the story is to be kind to everyone, not just at Christmas, but every day of the year.”
The small performers held hands and took a bow while the audience clapped and cheered. Hunter snapped pictures with his cell phone as did a lot of other people watching.
“She did great,” he said.
“Perfect.” Merry discreetly wiped away a tear. But it didn’t escape his notice that she was still giving him one-word responses.
After the first graders were finished, every other elementary school class put on their performance. As each group exited the spotlight, he was aware that Merry chatted with the older woman sitting next to her but said nothing to him. He also noted that her new best friend kept giving him looks, as if sizing him up. And he caught snippets of conversation from the women in the row behind him. Enough to know that they were definitely sizing him up. Sneaking a glance, he saw that they were young and attractive.
<
br /> He also experienced an odd sensation. It was weird how he felt like he was cheating on Merry by noticing the women. He wasn’t married and never planned to be again. Yet she was constantly on his mind, always in his dreams, and he couldn’t seem to control it. He liked everything about her. The cheerful disposition, sense of humor, positive outlook and determination to be a teacher.
On top of that, she was so damn beautiful and that hair... The way she handled Wren was nothing short of amazing. Which was why he was determined to keep things uncomplicated and not mess this up and lose her.
The overhead lights went to full brightness as the stage curtains closed, signaling the end of tonight’s performances. After that, kids of all ages still wearing their costumes streamed down the aisles looking for family members and friends. Thanks to Merry, his daughter knew right where to find them.
“Hunter?”
“Hmm?” He met Merry’s gaze and was surprised to see shadows in her eyes.
She indicated the woman beside her. “This is Linda. She’s lived in Rust Creek Falls all her life and knows a lot about the town’s history. Including the Abernathy family.”
Could be she had information about the diary his brothers were so convinced was some romantic lucky charm. He didn’t believe in that sort of thing.
He shook hands with the woman. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Likewise. Welcome to Rust Creek Falls. Although I know you’ve been here a few months. Better late than never.”
“Thanks.”
“There’s a rumor going around that your father has hired someone to introduce all his sons to women and get them married off.” Her tone was teasing even as she glanced at Merry. “Heard he’s been getting pretty good results with the whole thing. What with four of your brothers now spoken for.”
“Dad will take any credit he can get. The truth is that he has no business peddling romance, with or without help. His own marriage was a failure because he rushed into it.”
Hunter wasn’t sure why he shared that information with a virtual stranger. Although he suspected it had something to do with rebelling against the thoughts he’d been having about Merry.
Maverick Holiday Magic (Montana Mavericks: Six Brides For Six Brothers Book 5) Page 16