“He’s right, dude. You were her first.”
Devon’s head turns toward our teammate.
“What? You fucked her too?”
Teague shakes his head.
“No. I was gonna but then she told me how she'd only done it once and it wasn't great. She never told me who it was, she just mentioned a summer fling. I didn't know it was you until you yelled at her yesterday. So no, she wasn't trying to make you look bad or get revenge on you. She didn't have any reason to lie about it.”
This is when something changes in Teague’s expression:
“Fuck! She could have badmouthed you with me, with Knox, with the other cheerleaders. But she didn't.”
I nod.
“Teague’s right. She didn't badmouth you. She was sad about it but I could see that she still cares about you, despite you being a complete selfish asshole.”
Teague agrees with me.
“Yeah, there was longing and hurt in her eyes, not hatred or spite. If she's not been spreading nasty rumours about you, like she could have, I don't think it makes sense that she’d try to get you expelled from the team.”
I nod.
“Right. And if that's the case, why would she drug you? It never made much sense to begin with. I think that she's being framed. And it must be someone on the team or that works around the team to have had access to those drinks. We need to keep our eyes open and figure this out. Who was the target? Just one of you or all three of you? And who has anything to gain from your eventual expulsion? And Aubrey’s, because that might be part of the motive too. If instead of fighting like a bunch of rabid dogs, we worked together, we’d have a better chance to figure this out fast and get you all back into the team before the end of the season.”
Devon looks at me without speaking for a long moment and then he shakes his head.
“And you swear it wasn't you?”
“Seriously, dude, it wasn't. I don't care to be QB1 if I haven't earned it. You're free to believe me or not, but that's the truth.”
He looks me straight in the eyes and then he lowers himself on the bench, with his head bowed down.
“What a fucking mess! You're right, if we work together, we’ll have a better chance to figure this shit out. But first, I need to find Aubrey and tell her that I’m fucking sorry. For everything. For not believing her and for the ... virginity thing. The only thing I can say in my defence is that I didn't know. And I wanted her so much, before she flew back home. I had no idea that we’d end up going to the same school. That I’d see her again. So my emotions got the best of me and after I knew I came way too soon, I was too embarrassed to do something about it, we were on the beach, with the risk of getting caught, and somehow I doubted that she'd follow me to my room.”
He covers his eyes with both his hands.
“The truth is that at first, knowing how shitty a time she had that night on the beach, I hesitated to accept her friend requests. Because I was ashamed and because I thought that I ruined everything. Then shit happened at home and everything else got shoved to the side, including her. But I never stopped thinking about her. I know that I fell for her in South Carolina and I’ve been ignoring her because seeing her every day at school, knowing how much I messed up, hurts too much. But if she could ever forgive me, give me a second chance, maybe ...”
Teague’s ass is the next one to land on a bench.
“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! So you want Aubrey too?”
He looks at Devon and then at me and Landon and we all nod.
“I fucking started to fall for her the minute I saw her too. By the way thank you, man. If you hadn't splashed us both by driving like a stupid motherfucker, I wouldn't have gotten to know her that quickly. Now I can only hope that she'll forgive me for not believing her and that she'll choose me.”
We all look at one another, realising the mess we’re in.
We’re all falling for Aubrey and none of us is even remotely intentioned to back down.
Teague continues, looking at me.
“Obviously you and Landon have the advantage of not having been assholes to her. Devon and I have some serious grovelling to do.”
I clap him on the shoulder.
“Dude, this is a fucking weird situation. While I hope that she tells you to fuck yourselves, so I only have Landon to compete with, I know that if Aubrey slept with Devon and hooked up with you, that means that she cares about your ugly asses. And at the risk of sounding like a stupid motherfucker, yes, I want her to choose me but also, I want her to be happy. And it terrifies me that it might not be with me. I’ve never liked a girl the way I like her. She gets me. She's smart, fun and sweet and beautiful and so damn hot. What the fuck are we gonna do?”
Landon speaks up for the first time.
“I agree with Knox that Aubrey’s happiness is important to me. It isn't just about getting the girl. I care about her. If she forgives you guys, what about a ‘cease fire’?”
We all look at him with interest.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that we need to work together to find out what's going on with the drugs issue, but also that we could work together to make her happy. Let's all date her until she makes up her mind. But rather than seeing this as a competition, let’s see it as a team effort, like when we play football. Yes, the goal is to be the MVP but mainly it's to see her happy, that's victory. So let's fucking respect each other and share her time until she gets to know us better and she makes a choice.”
I think Landon makes a lot of sense.
Sometimes he comes across as a jokester and a little immature but I think that he's fucking right this time, so I agree.
“Ok, sounds good. So we can all tell her how we feel about her and date her and tell her that she can take her time to decide? Provided she forgives me and Devon, obviously.”
Teague asks.
I’m about to agree but Devon’s the first to speak.
“Right. The thing is that I don't know if I can date her. My life right now is messy and aside from that and from the fact that I’m the one that wronged her the most, I have another problem.”
We all look at him but his eyes are fixed onto mine.
“Your sister, dude! Somehow she talked me into taking her out on Friday night after the game. Look, I said yes because I was mad at Aubrey and because Margaux is ...”
I sigh.
“She's very persuasive and won’t take no for an answer? Yeah.”
“And I don't wanna be an asshole but she's been throwing herself at me, making it clear that she wants to fuck. I was tempted because she's smoking hot but somehow I’ve been resisting because it felt unfair to her and to Aubrey if I hooked up with her. Now, how do I let her down gently? Regardless if Aubrey will forgive me, I play football with you and fucking your sister when I know it would be just a sport fuck doesn't feel right. Also I suspect that if I fucked Margaux, Aubrey would never look at me again.”
I smirk at Devon.
“All I can say dude, is that I wouldn't wanna be in your shoes. Margaux will cut your balls off. I know that she wants you, she hasn't been shy about it. She has a bet with Macy and Rachel but I think it's more than that. She talks about you constantly, even after you got suspended from the team. So it's not just that she wants to date the quarterback. Just tell her the truth. And I seriously appreciate you not fucking her anyway.”
I look at Devon differently: maybe Aubrey did see something in him beyond his brooding, d-bag behaviour.
13.
Home Sweet Home
Aubrey
“AUBREY, IS THAT YOU? What's wrong, girl?”
I take a deep, shuddering breath.
Not now.
I can't handle anyone. I want Abi.
I know my sister would hold me and let me cry on her shoulder and she'd give me some good advice.
I see Margaux’s black shiny pumps where the stall’s door ends and then she knocks on the door.
“Sweetie, what’s going on
? I saw you surrounded by some of the players. Did they say something to you?”
Fuck, she isn't giving up.
But I guess I need a friend, so I open the door and she comes in to sit down on the toilet lid, right next to me.
She hands me a tissue.
“Oh dear. What's happened?”
Where do I start?
I tell her about the accusations that Devon and Teague have been throwing my way and she cocks her head to the side, her blue eyes shining with doubt.
“And did you?”
“What?”
“Did you fuck with their drinks?”
“Absolutely not!”
“Well then, I wouldn't worry. And I’ll tell you what, I have a date with Devon on Friday night after the game. I'll speak to him. I'll tell him that the fact that you offered him the drink doesn't mean anything. A lot of people have access to our storage room: virtually any school staff and anyone involved with the team. Fuck, I put the drinks into the coolers with Macy and Rachel, and I know that none of us would ever fuck with our football team! Don't worry, you’ll see that he’ll understand that it wasn't you.”
Her eyes look so similar to Knox’s right now, despite the different colour, Margaux’s blue and Knox’s grey.
But it’s easy to see the resemblance between them: they even have the same freckles on their noses.
The thought of Knox and how cold he was towards me earlier, makes me cry harder.
“Oh come on, Aubrey! Cheer up, sweetie.”
Her tone is so sweet and I think that being Knox’s sister, maybe he said something to her about me?
About yesterday?
So I told her how Knox ignored me earlier and she wraps a sympathetic arm around my shoulders.
“So you fucked him.”
I nod, thinking how ‘fucking’ doesn't seem the right word to define what happened yesterday.
Knox was hot but so gentle at same time.
The way he kissed me, he looked into my eyes, I thought he cared about me.
But if I was hoping to hear that from Margaux, I’m sorely disappointed because she shrugs with a deep sigh.
“I’m so sorry, sweetie. That's how Knox is, he's not a relationship kind of guy. You gave him what he wanted and he probably decided to move on. You know how popular he is with the girls at school. Especially now that he's QB1.”
She confirms my worst fears, that all Knox’s attention and kindness were just a trick to get in my pants.
“Do you want me to talk to him? But babe, that's how he is. He was probably trying to fuck you before Teague. Those two have always been rivals. But think about it, you fucked both our quarterbacks! Wait until Macy and Rachel hear that! Especially Rachel, she’s Knox’s rally girl and he’s been ignoring her since school started. At least you can say that he liked you enough to sleep with you.”
The bell for second period rings: we have calculus and all of a sudden I can't face it.
Not just the math itself, which I hate enough as it is, but the thought of sitting in the A-Class with the guys.
Of facing Teague’s and Devon’s hatred and Knox’s indifference.
I know that Landon has been a sweetheart this whole time but right now, I can't deal with him either.
There's always a chance that if we got closer, he’d lose interest like Knox and Devon.
I have to accept that no one really wants me.
I tell Margaux that I need a minute to redo my makeup but as soon she leaves to go to class, I leave the building and drive home.
I DRIVE THROUGH A CONSTANT stream of tears, my chest hurts as if my heart were breaking inside my chest cavity.
It's my fucking fault for falling for three more guys after Devon broke my heart.
I should've kept away and at least let myself recover from the blow that his indifference delivered to my self-esteem.
I wasn't strong enough to get involved with the others and now I’m paying the price.
And I know it's really unfair to Landon because he's been sweet and he's never doubted my innocence, not even for a second.
But somehow, being with him right now, would make me think about the others and I simply can't take it.
Maybe, rather than my foolish hope to have them all, like Ayla and Abi with their boys, I should accept that I should have none of them and be alone, so no one can hurt me or reject me again.
And alone is all I’ve been since my sister and her boys left for college, and when I’m at the highway exit that would take me onto the local road to Chaz’s house, I make a decision.
I can't face that empty house, if I can't have my sister, maybe I can try to speak to my mom.
So I go home to my parents.
I haven't spoken to them in the six weeks since I’ve been back from Hilton Head and maybe it's time to try and mend the one relationship in my life that, together with the one with my siblings, will always be there no matter what.
I know there are problems but maybe my family is a problem I shouldn't run away from.
I get through the gate and through the crazy security systems that my dad installed to protect the property without any problems: I guess he hasn't changed the settings so I haven't been disowned yet.
I don't see any of the house staff as I make my way into the living room through the grand foyer at the entrance.
The house is quiet and there's no sign of Mom or Dad.
But on a Wednesday morning Mom could be out at one of the countless charity events she's involved with or shopping or whatever else she does to occupy her days.
And Dad will be working, so I guess I traded one empty house for another one.
I suddenly feel exhausted: the emotional rollercoaster of the last few days has definitely taken a toll on me and last night I didn't get much sleep.
I kept checking my phone hoping that Knox would call me or text me like he had promised.
I sigh and make my way up the stairs to my room.
I guess that I could take a nap while I wait for Mom to get back.
My eyes feel swollen and they burn because of all the crying I’ve been doing and I look forward to closing them for a little while, hoping to get some relief.
However, I know myself and I know that despite feeling exhausted, my brain won't switch off with all the stuff that's troubling me right now.
So I decide to take one of the Ambiens my Mom gets from her doctor to help her with jet-lag when she follows Dad around the world on business.
As I open Mom’s bedroom door, I immediately notice that the bed is unmade and the covers are left open as if someone had just gotten out of bed.
And then I hear the toilet being flushed in the en-suite bathroom.
A second later, my mom steps back into the bedroom with an unsteady gait.
She looks pale and it's past ten am but she's still in her nightie.
Mom is tall and thin and has a gorgeous olive complexion, black hair and vibrant green eyes.
My colouring is a mixture between Mom’s Mediterranean looks with my dark brown hair and Dad’s blonde looks, especially my dark blue eyes, identical to Daddy’s, Abi’s and Alex’s.
I unfortunately didn't inherit Mom’s top model height but I’m on the shorter side like Aubrey at about five foot three.
I’ve always envied Mom’s polished beauty, she’s always turned heads wherever she goes.
But today she looks like a shadow of her usual self and for an instant, all my worries fade away.
‘Please God, tell me that she isn't sick’ I think as we look at each other, surprised to be face to face.
She sits on the king size bed and she pats the spot near her.
Mom has always been very strict, probably to compensate for Daddy’s frequent absences and his tendency to spoil me rotten with lavish gifts every time he was home.
And even if lately, or I should admit since Abi and Alex entered our lives, we haven't seen eye to eye, I’ve never doubted that she loves me with all her heart.
This is why, when she sided with Daddy about setting me up with a suitable date, I felt hurt, betrayed and surprised.
Especially because she followed her heart when she got with Daddy, despite him being married at the time.
I go sit next to her and the dark shadows under her eyes don't go unnoticed.
The dark green of her nightie, that normally highlights her beautiful complexion, today makes her look sickly.
“Mommy, are you sick?”
My voice is breaking and I know that this is definitely the last straw: I’m so stressed that I can't take one more bad thing.
“No, baby. Or, well, a little bit but I'll be all right.”
She hugs me and I feel her warm lips on the top of my head as I rest my face on her chest.
This is how she always comforted me when I was little and I was sick or scared or sad and it's such a familiar feeling that I can't take it.
I feel the first tears burning their way down my face: hot, salty and bitter like my heart right now.
“Mommy, please don't lie. I can't take another lie or another secret.”
She whispers into my hair:
“I swear, I’m all right baby. But what are you doing here? I’ve missed you terribly but shouldn't you be at school right now?”
“I ... I —”
My tears have the best of me again and between sobs that wrack my whole body, I tell her everything.
I begin from my summer fling with Devon and I end with the confrontation with him and Teague at the training field earlier and with Knox’s indifference after the afternoon of passion we shared yesterday.
“I made a mess of things, Mommy. I’m falling for all of them and I don't know what to do.”
She frames my face with both her hands and fixes her eyes onto mine:
“Baby—”
I sob again.
I fucking hate myself right now!
Normally I'm level headed but since I met Devon on that beach, my emotions have been all over the place.
“I know what you're gonna say. That I behaved like a total slut and—”
Mom interrupts me.
Beverly Hills Prep Academy The Complete Boxset : A Light Bully Romance Page 78