Making Angels Laugh

by Woods, Karen

  “I would not cause dissention among my sisters,” Rita said, fighting back a surge of panic at this announcement. She wasn’t prepared for it. “Without their approval, I cannot accept this.”

  Em chuckled, “Of course, we approve.”

  “Indeed we do,” Irina said. “There is no cause for dissention. It will be most fitting to have the Abbess be properly addressed as Mother or rather as the Very Reverend Mother.”

  “I haven’t prepared the proper habit for that rank,” Rita protested. “I don’t have the paramen, cross, or mantiya, necessary to that tonsuring.”

  The bishop smiled more broadly. “I have those for you, Matushka, in the altar, in anticipation that you will accept.”

  She looked over to the table where the three habits had been laid out and saw that there were only two sets there, now. When they had laid them out last night after Vespers, there had been three sets on that brocade covered table. Someone had moved her habit into the altar sometime after she had left the chapel last night and now.

  Vladika continued, “Will you be tonsured as a cross bearer? Will you take your vows and permanently leave the world behind?”

  “I do not feel worthy of this, Vladika. But with God’s help, I will take the vows and wear the habit. May God have mercy upon my soul,” Rita said, her voice low.

  The bishop touched her hand. “Matushka, I believe this is the proper thing to do for you and for your new community.”

  She looked at her bishop. “You do realize this will make us even more controversial. I wish you would have discussed this with me before now, especially as you have obviously been in discussion with others about it.”

  “If I had given you more time, you would have found a way to argue yourself out of it,” Vladika replied, his voice kind. “I know how your mind works, Matushka. Besides, you know as well as I do that the ranks of monasticism are controversial in and of themselves. Once there were no ranks; no novice, no Rassophore, no Stavrophore. There was only that of aspirant and monastic. Besides, we both know that there have been many cases over the centuries in which all the intermediate stages have been dispensed with. You are more likely to be controversial for the work you do, even though there is ample precedent for monastics caring for the sick and injured on the grounds of their own monastery.”

  Rita sighed and shook her head, then teased her bishop, “You just have gotten entirely too used to calling me ‘Matushka’. This way, you won’t have to change.”

  His eyes sparkled in good humor as he teased in return, “You see right through me, Matushka.” Then he became serious once more. “As one is tonsured into the Stavrophore rank, a monastic’s new name is given to her, and accepted as one’s first and most lasting obedience in that stage of life. You had planned to be called ‘Maria’. But I will give you a name at the time of tonsure. Will you accept whatever name I give you in humility and obedience?”

  Rita drew a calming breath. Having already agreed to take tonsure as a Stavrophore nun, she really couldn’t do anything but say, “Yes, Vladika. I will.”

  The bishop nodded and smiled at her. “Good. I need to return to the altar. Give me ten minutes then begin the Hours.”

  “Yes, Vladika,” Irina replied.

  “Are you both really fine with this?” Rita asked, keeping her voice low, after the bishop walked away.

  “Of course,” Em said. “We’re all in this together.”

  “If Vladika and your confessor, and your son, all think this is the challenge you need for the good of your soul, then certainly who I am to object? Actually, I’ll state that more strongly, my dear, I approve and support this,” Irina said.

  “Okay, do we have all the service books and music laid out? We will need to begin shortly,” Rita asked, feeling slightly more relieved, although still surprised, even shocked, at the turn of events.

  People began coming into the chapel as the Hours were being sung. By the time that the bishop intoned “Blessed is the Kingdom of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen”, to begin the Divine Liturgy, the chapel was packed full. And she suspected there would be more people come in as the service progressed.

  The three antiphons of the Divine Liturgy were different this morning, all focused on repentance and self-denial, on renunciation of the world, on God seeking and finding the sinner. All of those were very powerful and, as intended, they set the scene for what was to come.

  At the Little Entrance part of the Divine Liturgy, Rita along with her mother and Em walked to the front of the chapel, coming to stand at the foot of the Ambon before the Royal Doors. All three of them made a prostration— went knees, palms, and foreheads to the floor— before standing once more.

  As she stood, Rita felt as though her legs were going to wobble out from under her. She forced herself to take a calming breath and to stand straight without locking her knees. The last thing she needed was to faint today. She hadn’t been this nervous since she had stood before the priest along with Dryusha just before their wedding had begun. Or as she had stood, watching him be ordained deacon and later priest. Her life was changing, again. Even though it was a change she wanted, it wasn’t happening as she had thought it might. She felt like a fraud. Stavrophore, Little Schema, fully professed nun, with only one stage to go before she would be living in silent contemplation. That is soon what she would be if she went through with this. She didn’t feel ready. Then again, when had she ever felt ready for anything in her life?

  Vladika, flanked by priests, began, “Open the ears of your hearts, Sisters, and hear the voice of the Lord saying: ‘Come to me all who are toiling and who are burdened and I will refresh you. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble in heart, and you will find refreshment in your souls.’ Therefore, render now to God with fear and joy the proper answer to each of the questions. Know surely, then that our Savior himself is here present, with His most-hymned Mother and His Saints; so that when He comes to judge the living and the dead, He may render to you, not according to what you are about to renounce and profess, but according to whether you guard what you profess. Now, therefore, if you are coming to God in truth, with care answer us what you are about to be asked. Why have you come, Sisters, falling down before the altar, and in this holy house?”

  All three of them answered, “I desire the life of asceticism, Reverend Father.”

  “Do you desire to be worthy of the angelic habit and to be enrolled in the choir of the monastics?”

  All three of them answered, “Yes, God being my helper, Reverend Father.”

  “Truly, you have chosen a good and blessed work, but only if you complete it. Good things are acquired with toil and achieved with pain. Are you coming to the Lord of your own free will?”

  “Yes, God being my helper, Reverend Father,” all three of them answered.

  “Not from any necessity or violence?” Vladika asked.

  “No, Reverend Father.”

  “I ask the following questions of Matushka Margarita, alone... Do you renounce the world, and all the things of the world, according to the commandment of the Lord?”

  Rita took a deep breath. She forced herself to speak in a tone such as she could be heard, but neither in a shout or a whisper, even though she thought that the words might choke her. “Yes, God being my helper, Reverend Father.”

  There were other questions: whether she would remain in the Monastery, living in ascesis, until death; whether she would be obedient all her life to her superior and to the whole sisterhood; whether she would endure every affliction and deprivation of the monastic life for the sake of the Kingdom of God; and whether she would preserve herself in chastity and piety. She answered all of the questions, “Yes, God being my helper, Reverend Father.”

  The sound of her own heartbeat threatened to drown out all other sound. Rita forced herself to focus on what her bishop was saying.

  The bishop spoke, outlining the terms of the contract she was making with God and the Church in her
entering of the monastic state, “See, child, what agreements you have given to the Master Christ. Angels are here invisibly present recording this your profession, which is going to be required of you in the Second Coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. I am now narrating, therefore, the most perfect life, in which the way of life of the Lord is shown forth, bearing witness what things it is necessary for you to embrace and what things you must avoid. This renunciation, then, for him who has made it is nothing other than a profession of the cross and death.

  Know, then, that from this present day you have been crucified and put to death to the world through the most perfect renunciation. For you have renounced parents, brothers, husband, children, forefathers, relatives, associations, friends, habits, the tumults in the world, cares, possessions, goods, empty and vain pleasure and glory; and you are renouncing not only those things which have just been said, but even your own life, according to the voice of the Lord which says: ‘Whoever wishes to come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.’ If therefore you truly seek to follow him, and if without lies you ardently desire to be called his disciple, from the present moment prepare yourself not towards ease, not towards freedom from care, not towards sensual pleasures, not towards anything else of those pleasures and enjoyments which are on the earth, but towards spiritual struggles, towards temperance of the flesh, towards purification of the soul, towards mean poverty, towards the good grief, towards all the sorrowful and painful things of that life according to God which brings joy. For you have to hunger and to thirst and to go naked and to be reviled and ridiculed, to be reproached and persecuted and to be tempted in many sorrowful things, in which things the life according to God is characterized. And when you suffer all of these things, ‘Rejoice,’ it is said, ‘for great is your wage in the Heavens.’

  Rejoice therefore with joy and exult with exultation, for today the Lord God has selected you and set you apart from life in the world, and has set you, as before his face, in the post of the Monastic order, in the service of the angelic life, in the height of the life which imitates Heaven, to worship him angelically, to serve him wholly and completely, to seek those things which are above. ‘For our way of life,’ according to the Apostle, ‘is in the Heavens.’

  Oh, the new call! Oh, the gift of the Mystery! You are receiving a second Baptism today, Sister, in the wealth of the gifts of God who loves mankind, and you shall be cleansed of your sins, and you shall become a daughter of Light, and Christ himself our God rejoices together with his holy Angels over your repentance, slaughtering for you the fattened calf. Walk worthily therefore of your call; rid yourself of the attachment to vain things; hate the desire that draws you towards those things which are below; turn your own ardent desire towards Heavenly things; by no means whatsoever turn back, so that you not become a pillar of salt like the wife of Lot or like a dog returning to its own vomit, and the word of the Lord be fulfilled in you: ‘No one putting his hand to the plough and having turned towards the rear is fit for the Kingdom of the Heavens.’ For the danger for you is not little, having now professed that you will guard all the aforesaid things, afterwards to make little of the profession or even to run back to the previous way of life, or to separate yourself from the Sisters who are engaged with you in ascesis, or, remaining, to live your days contemptuously. For you will have weightier responsibilities than previously before the unerring tribunal of Christ, as much as you now enjoy more grace. And it would be better for you, as the saying goes, not to vow than to vow and not to render your vows. And, again, do not at all think that in the previous time of your sojourn in this place you have adequately struggled against the invisible powers of the Enemy, but know rather that from now there will succeed to you greater struggles in the battle against him, but that he will in no way prevail against you if he finds you fenced about by a strong faith and love for him who is guiding you and by sincerity in your obedience and humility.

  For this reason, put away from yourself refusal to listen, contradiction, pride, strife, jealousy, envy, anger, clamour, blasphemy, secret eating, boldness of manner, special friendship, talkativeness, wrangling, grumbling, whispering, personal acquisition of any miserable thing, and all the other sorts of vice through which the wrath of God comes on those who practice them and the Destroyer of souls begins to take root in those who practise them. Rather, then, instead of those things, acquire these things which are fitting to Saints: friendship, stillness, leniency, piety, meditation on the divine words, reading, keeping of the heart from filthy thoughts, labour according to strength, temperance, patient endurance up to death, and perfect confession of those things which are in your heart to the Father to whom you previously gave your vows, as the divine testaments relate: ‘They were baptized,’ it says, ‘confessing their sins.’”

  Vladika paused, then asked, “Margarita Aleksandrova, do you profess all these things in the hope and strength of God, and do you agree to persevere in these promises until the end of life, by the grace of God?”

  “Yes, God being my helper, Reverend Father,” she answered, and felt a great surge of joy that completely vanquished her fear. She had taken the step. It was done. Happy tears streamed down her face. She hadn’t felt this joyous since Father Yuri had lead Dryusha and her in the Dance of Isaiah at their wedding, or maybe the first time she had held each of their sons and their daughter, or perhaps at the weddings of her sons, or even the first time she had held her grandchildren. It definitely ranked with, or even surpassed, each of the great joys she had known. She felt herself smile, even as the tears streamed down.

  The tonsure liturgy continued with more prayers and blessings. Then Vladika pointed to the Gospel book which sat on a stand nearby. “Behold, Sisters! Christ comes invisibly among us. No one is forcing you. Look! For you of your own free will come.”

  All three answered, “Yes, Reverend Father, of my own free will.”

  Boris picked up the Gospel book, placed scissors on it and presented the book to Rita.

  Vladika said, “Take the scissors and give them to me.”

  She did as instructed. Vladika gave the scissors back to Boris who replaced them on the Gospel book. This process of the bishop asking for the scissors, being handed them, then handing them off to Boris who replaced them on the Gospel was repeated twice more before the bishop moved down the line to Irina where the threefold handling of the scissors was repeated, and then to Em, again where the scissors were handled in the same threefold manner. Threefold, as a reminder of the Trinity. Threefold to signify make clear each of their acceptance of the tonsure. Threefold to signify the necessity of perseverance. There were all kinds of meanings read into this particular action, all of them rich.

  Finally, Vladika kept the scissors in hand. “Our Sister Elizabeth is shorn of the hair of her head,” he clipped off a section of hair on the top of her head toward the front close to the scalp, “in the name of the Father,” and clipped a section on the back top of her head, “and the Son”, clipped a section of the left top of her head, “and the Holy Spirit.” Finally, he clipped a section on the right top of her head, forming a cross in her hair, a cross that would always be with her as from the time of tonsure nuns never again cut their hair, with the lone exception of the haircut marking being tonsured into higher monastic ranks, “Amen.”

  Then he moved to Irina, repeating the same actions, using Irina’s name in religion, Olga, for the first time. All the hair clippings went into a tray held by Alexei.

  Finally, the bishop came to Rita and gave her the “holy haircut”, announcing publicly for the first time her new name, Nina. Nina, more commonly Nino, Equal to the Apostles, the Enlightener of Georgia, a woman who brought the Christian faith to the nation of Georgia, largely through her gift of healing, as well as her preaching and example. Yes, it was a good name which would be a profound challenge to live up to. She felt a wave of relief that he hadn’t named her Drosis, Elfleda, Wendreda, Bathildis, Cerecydis, Endellion, Mildgyth, or any of hundre
ds of truly odd, to modern ears, sounding names, all of which were the names of holy women of God, throughout the ages, who would have, nonetheless, been great challenges for her to live up to their example. She mentally filed away a note about that instance of pride to confess after Vespers on Saturday, if not before. It was wrong to feel that way. That she reacted in relief showed her just how far she had to go in her struggle for theosis, although that was no news to her. She would have no problem saying her name as Nina, a sinner, for that was nothing but the bald truth.

  “Let us say on their behalf, ‘Lord have mercy,” Vladika said. A threefold “Lord have mercy” was sung, led by Kiril, Alexei, Father Boris, Father Philip, Father Samuel, and the bishop, but joined by the whole congregation. The richness of the sound was heavenly.

  Next, the bishop was handed a five-inch square of black cloth upon which was embroidered in scarlet threads with representations of the instruments of the Passion of Christ; the cross, the lance, and several other images. Cords were attached to the corners of the square so that this could be worn on the back, with the cords over the arms, and fastened about her waist. A wooden cross was attached to the cords on the front, so that the cross would rest over her heart. The bishop slipped it over her head, saying, “Our sister, Nina, is clothed in the yoke and cross of Christ, in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Let us say on her behalf, ‘Lord have mercy.’”

  As the threefold Lord have mercy was sung, Rita, now Mother Nina, adjusted the paramen so that it fit smoothly.

  Boris went into the altar and brought out the riassa for her, the long sleeved, floor length, black robe, a type of cassock, that was the basis of the monastic outerwear. He handed it to the bishop.

  The bishop handed it to Rita/Mother Nina who then put it on over her head as the bishop said, “Our Sister Nina is clothed in the tunic of righteousness, in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.” As she shimmied and tugged on the riassa to get the cassock to fall correctly to the floor, the bishop moved on to Irina, now Sister Olga, handing her the black garment which she also slipped on over her head. “Our Sister Olga is clothed in the tunic of righteousness.” Then he moved to Em as Irina/Olga and Rita/Nina were straightening Irina’s/Olga’s riassa. “Our Sister Elizabeth is clothed in the tunic of righteousness. in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.” Rita/Mother Nina, and Irina/Sister Olga both helped Em/Sister Elizabeth on with her riassa. The bishop instructed, “Let us say on their behalf, ‘Lord have mercy.’” And once more a three-fold “Lord have mercy was sung for them.