Bean's Heart (Hearts of ICARUS Book 7)

by Phillips, Laura Jo

  “Then we’ll take her to her room,” Zach said, turning to lead the way.

  “You have the con, Sark,” Zander said, following Zach with Bean in his arms and Zain right behind him. “You know how to contact us if you need us.”

  “I do,” Sark said. He looked at Bean, then back to Zander. “When she wakes up, thank her for us, Commander.”

  Zander nodded, then left the bridge with Zain at his heels. A moment later, using Air, Zach tried to open the door to Bean’s room but it was locked. He lifted her hand up to the scanner lock and pressed it firmly but gently. The door opened and he stepped inside, then waited for Zander and Zain to join him.

  “We need to convince her to put a numerical code on that lock,” Zach said. Zander nodded as he went to the bed and laid her down gently.

  Zach pulled her shoes off, then hesitated. He wanted to take her jeans and sweater off so she’d be more comfortable, but the thought of her reaction, in addition to her guardian’s probable reaction, convinced him to leave her as she was. He went to the closet, found a couple of blankets on the shelf and grabbed one.

  Once she was covered with the blanket, they stood at the foot of the bed and watched her. “I’m having a hard time making myself believe that I could be so lucky,” Zain said in a low voice. “Despite my monumental screw-ups, she still forgave me. I don’t even know why. I’m not sure I know why you two forgave me either. One thing I do know, however, is that I will never again repeat the mistake of keeping things to myself. I’ve taken that same wrong turn twice now, and I will not do it a third time.”

  “We’re glad to hear that, Zain,” Zach said. “Despite the stress and danger this afternoon, I feel like it was a good day for us.”

  “I know exactly what you mean,” Zander said.

  ***

  Bean opened her eyes, then frowned. Her head ached and she felt stiff and sore all over. When she sensed movement she automatically sat up and started to leap from the bed. Strong arms caught her before she fell flat on her face, her feet still tangled in a blanket.

  She looked up, surprised to see that the arms belonged to Zander. He helped her back onto the bed, then released her.

  “Are you all right?” he asked, worry in his eyes.

  “I think so,” she replied, looking around. She wasn’t completely startled to see Zach since she felt him. Zain wasn’t too big of a surprise, but only because where Zach and Zander went, he generally went as well. “I have the worst headache of my life. Why are you in my room?”

  “We didn’t want to leave you alone after you collapsed on the bridge,” Zander said.

  “The bridge?” She had to concentrate, but eventually she found the memory floating around in her head. “How many mines are left?” she asked, wondering if she could destroy any more of them with the headache she had.

  “There were three left when you passed out,” Zach answered. “We activated Blind Sight, took the hits, and got out of there as fast as we could.”

  Zach’s words reminded her of all that had happened, and she turned toward Zain, unable to quell her sudden nervousness. When she met his eyes and he smiled, she relaxed. It hadn’t been a dream, or a trick as she’d begun to fear.

  Her eyes widened suddenly. “Iffon?” she called, a note of real panic in her voice that surprised all three of the Falcorans. “Iffon, where are you?”

  “I’m here, don’t worry,” he said, speaking only to her. “Do you think I’d leave you alone with three males while unconscious?”

  “No, of course not,” she said shakily. “It just worried me for a moment.”

  “Understandable given the current population of this room. I see you still have a residual headache. Try to relax while I heal it.”

  “All right.” She tried to relax but it was only when the pain began to fade that she managed it. When the pain was entirely gone, she breathed a long sigh of relief. “Thank you, Iffon.”

  “You’re welcome, Bean. I’m going to unmeld now. I’d like to stretch my wings and get a drink.”

  “Certainly.” Bean stretched out her arm and a few moments later, a golden brown eagle slid into view. “Feeling a bit defensive, are you?”

  “Just a bit,” Iffon admitted easily as he peeled himself from her skin. He turned around, rubbed his head against her cheek, then spread his wings and flew over to the extra large standing perch in the corner that held one dish of water, and another of snacks.

  Zander dragged his eyes from the bird back to Bean and shrugged, a little embarrassed. “I apologize for staring, but it’s just so interesting to see that.”

  “No harm done,” Bean said, suddenly uncomfortable. They’d all admitted she was their berezi by giving her power, and Zain had even apologized to her. She just didn’t know what came next.

  “Did he just heal your headache?” Zach asked. She nodded. “I bet you’re both hungry after expending so much energy.”

  “Very,” she admitted. “I don’t feel like going out, though. I think I’ll order something for both of us, and then take a bath.”

  “Why don’t you tell us what you want, then go take your bath. We’ll order it, and we’ll wait for it to be delivered. Then we’ll leave.”

  “That’s thoughtful of you, but you don’t need to do that.”

  “We want to,” Zander said. “Please let us do this small thing for you.”

  “All right,” she said, surprised to realize that it made her feel good that they wanted to do this. She felt it from Zander and Zach, and Zain’s expression indicated he agreed.

  “We would like to ask a small favor of you.” She lifted her eyes to Zander, unable to prevent the sudden wariness that rose in her.

  “What favor?”

  “As exhausted as you are, tonight is obviously not a good night to have dinner with us. So, would you have dinner with us tomorrow night, instead?”

  “Yes, I’d like that.”

  “Thank you,” he said, smiling. “Tell us what you want us to order for you.”

  She did as asked, then thanked them again before going into the bathroom. She turned on the taps and reached for her lavender bath oil, adding a healthy dollop to the water as the tub filled. She turned to the counter and pulled the hair picks from her hair, then froze when she caught sight of her reflection. She was smiling. A real smile she hadn’t even been aware of.

  After her bath she combed her hair out, then pulled a bathrobe on over her sleep tee before opening the door. She hadn’t been able to feel either Zach or Zander, but she still needed to be sure they were gone.

  She walked to the table and pulled the covers off of a couple of plates of food. “You waited for me?” she asked Iffon when she saw the beef and vegetable pie that was one of his favorite dishes.

  “Naturally,” he replied, flying down to land on the table. She spread a napkin for him, then went to get his dishes from the bathroom counter.

  “I can’t believe how hungry I am,” she said as she scooped a good portion of his pie into a dish so he could eat it more easily.

  “It’s because you expended massive amounts of energy destabilizing those mines,” Iffon replied. “That’s why you’ll find another serving for each of us under those other two covers.”

  “I was just about to check to see what they were,” she said, sitting down after filling Iffon’s water dish.

  They both began scarfing down their food as though they hadn’t eaten in a week until they’d taken the first edge off their hunger. “Considering the way we’re eating, it’s a good thing we’re not in the cafeteria,” she said wryly when she got up to fetch a bottle of water from the chiller.

  “I suppose, though I doubt either of us would have cared until we were done.”

  “Probably not,” she agreed, sitting back down and reaching for his empty dish to refill it for him. “Was it your idea to order extra servings?”

  “It was, but I suspect Zander was planning to do so anyway.”

  A few minutes later Bean finished her f
irst plate just as Iffon finished his pie. She pulled the covers off the other two plates and served them both. She was a little relieved when her hunger abated about half way through. She set her fork down and reached for her water.

  “Your hunger is satisfied already?” Iffon asked in surprise.

  “Yeah, mostly,” she said. “Why are you surprised? I’ve never eaten that much in one sitting in my life.”

  “It must be because the Falcorans shared power with you.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, for the amount of energy you expended, I expected you to finish that plate, and still want more.”

  “I don’t understand,” she said, reaching for his empty dish to refill it again. “I’ve worked for twice as many hours practicing and never increased my appetite enough for me to notice.”

  “That was different,” Iffon said. “I don’t think you fully appreciate how difficult it really was to destabilize all of those mines. You’ve never expended a third of that much energy before.”

  “Oh,” she said, watching him eat. “What did you do, Iffon?”

  “Pardon me?”

  “What did you do?” she repeated, her forehead creased in a thoughtful frown.

  “I’m not sure what you mean, Bean.”

  She didn’t buy that for a moment. “You’ve said several times that I could hurt myself using too much power too quickly,” she said. “My guess is that I injured myself, probably more than once, and you healed me. Am I close?”

  “Somewhat.”

  “I thought you couldn’t lie to me.”

  “I’m not lying,” he said stiffly.

  “Maybe not, but you sure are dancing close to the edge.”

  “There is no need to worry you over things that are in the past anyway.”

  “I appreciate you helping me, Iffon. And healing me. And taking care of me. Thank you.”

  Iffon looked up at her, then dipped his head in a slow nod. “You’re welcome, Bean.” She smiled, pleased when the expression came easily.

  “If I ask you something, will you answer?”

  “I’ll try.”

  “Why are you so upset?”

  “I’m not upset, Bean. In fact, I’m quite pleased that the boneheads finally sorted things out enough to recognize the truth.”

  “Boneheads?” she asked archly.

  “Well, you have to admit, it took them a while.”

  “It did,” she agreed.

  “Do you think Chaos was involved?”

  She didn’t even have to think about that. “Yes, I do. To a large degree, in fact. It didn’t hurt that Zain is more traumatized by what happened to them than any of them realize. Including Zain.”

  “Perhaps. It’s been fifteen years, though. It seems a long enough time to move on to me.”

  “Zander said Zain was named specifically as the one most responsible. That it was hardest for him.”

  “Yes, but their names were cleared.”

  “It isn’t that simple, Iffon. I know what it feels like to be the weak link. It doesn’t just go away because someone says it’s okay.”

  Iffon’s head tilted slightly as he considered that. “I hadn’t thought of it in that light.”

  “I’m going to have to tell them,” she said. “I hate to say it, but Zain really is the weak link in terms of his vulnerability to Chaos. Knowing about it seems to be the best way to guard against.”

  “Will you now tell them all that you know?”

  “I’m not sure. I need to think about that.”

  “But they are your destined Rami.”

  “Yes, they are, and that’s a big deal. But I can’t feel Zain yet, so I need to be cautious. Once I tell them about Chaos, it should be fine.”

  “I suppose you’re right,” Iffon said.

  “You think I should just tell them everything now?”

  “No, I agree you need to use caution. I just feel as though time is running short.”

  “We still have 18 days before the six week deadline.”

  “True, but we still don’t know how close to Kinah we’ll be able to get before we have to start creating new Doors.”

  “Is there something else that I don’t know about, Iffon?”

  “If there is, I don’t know about it either.”

  Chapter 18

  17 days to deadline

  Bean was surprised when she awoke the next morning an hour later than usual. She was even more surprised to find that she was still tired. Instead of going out to the cafeteria she ordered breakfast in for herself and Iffon.

  After eating she still didn’t feel like doing anything, so she decided to rest for the day. She found a vid on the Askara’s entertainment list and put it on, then laid down on the bed to watch it with Iffon. After watching a couple of vids that she hardly paid attention to, it was noon, so she ordered lunch to be delivered too.

  Iffon requested a vid which she put on for him after lunch, then she laid down on the bed with her reader. She’d barely read one whole page before her eyelids grew heavy.

  She awoke a few hours later and stretched, glad that she felt much more rested.

  “I see you enjoyed whatever it was you were reading,” Iffon teased.

  “Yes, it was very relaxing,” she replied, sitting up to check the time. “How about you?”

  “As naps go, it wasn’t bad.”

  She laughed and climbed off the bed. “I can’t believe I slept the afternoon away.”

  “You needed it, obviously, as did I.”

  “I suppose so. They’ll be here in about an hour,” she said, climbing off the bed. “I’m going to take a shower and get dressed.”

  “All right,” Iffon said, stretching his wings out and resettling his feathers before flying up to a perch.

  “Iffon,” she said a while later, “I think when the Falcorans arrive I’m going to ask them to come in so we can talk about Chaos. It’s more private here than in the cafeteria, and I think that’ll make it a little easier for all of them. Particularly for Zain.”

  “I think that’s a very good idea so long as we don’t have to wait too much longer for dinner.”

  “I’m hungry too, but it shouldn’t take long.” Fifteen minutes later the Falcorans knocked on her door.

  “Hello, Bean,” Zander greeted when she opened the door.

  “Hi guys,” she said. “Before we go to dinner, would you mind coming in for a few minutes? There’s something I’d like to discuss with you.”

  “Not at all,” Zander replied, looking a little worried. She stepped aside and they entered the room, then followed her to the small table. While they sat, she grabbed bottles of water from the chiller.

  “I have to tell you something that I know you’re not going to like very much,” she said. “But it’s necessary, I’m afraid.”

  “All right,” Zander said.

  “Even though we’re alone in here, there are still some things I can’t talk about until we’re in a secure room.”

  “We understand,” Zach said. “And we can wait for those things you can’t speak of here.”

  “Okay, thanks,” she said, then cleared her throat nervously. “I think Chaos has been working on all three of you. Zain in particular. I think it’s why he refused to believe I was your berezi.” They all stared at her for a long moment in surprise.

  “Why do you think this?” Zander asked finally.

  “A number of reasons. One obvious sign is when someone says or does something out of character, and then doesn’t know why they did it.”

  “Merde,” Zander said as he looked at Zain with sympathy. “That’s happened to Zain a lot lately. What about Zach and I?”

  “You were messed with too. Enough that you knew Zain’s behavior was off, but let it go without trying to figure it out.”

  “Yeah, we’ve done a lot of that lately,” Zach said, then frowned. “How odd that I didn’t realize that until just now.”

  “What else?” Zander asked gently, seeing the hesit
ation in her eyes.

  “There were a lot of times when Zain said things that were extremely…well…unkind. The two of you usually acted as though you didn’t even hear him. Or you’d get upset, then seem to forget about it the next moment. I thought it was because you didn’t care what he said, or that you agreed with him, but now I know it was Chaos. I should have caught it sooner and I’m sorry I didn’t.”

  “You have nothing to apologize for, Bean,” Zander said. “I have to admit that this is a bit scary, though.”

  “Tell me about it,” she said.

  “How do we guard against something we can’t see or feel?”

  “By knowing,” she said. They looked at her blankly. “My entire life I got perfect grades in school, and so did Ria. But, even though my parents got every single grade report, they didn’t know we got good grades. They thought we had to struggle through every class we ever took. Once they knew about Chaos, my parents began to slowly see things they’d missed over the years. One day my mom dug out our grade reports and was shocked to see what they really said.”

  “Demii,” Zander whispered. “The idea that Chaos has been messing with us for a few weeks sickens me. I can’t imagine what it would be like to discover your entire life was skewed.”

  “It’s not easy, I can tell you that much. But my story is for later. Right now, you just need to know what happened, and start paying more attention to your actions and reactions. Ask yourself if you really want to do or say something beforehand and you’ll catch most of it.”

  “We will, Bean,” Zander said. “My biggest question is, why, though? Is there a particular reason or is it random?”

  “It’s definitely not random, but I can’t tell you all the reasons I think it happened here and now. I’m sorry.”

  “That’s all right,” Zander said. “We understand.”

  She smiled at him, then turned to Zain. “I wonder if you’d mind telling me whatever it was you said you wanted to explain to me yesterday.”

  “I don’t mind,” Zain said. “I’ve no secrets from my brothers.” He flushed. “Not anymore.” He hesitated. “You don’t have to answer this, but I wonder if there’s a specific reason you want to know this now.”