The Demon in Me

by Michelle Rowen

  She wanted to see how far apart they could be. The opportunity had just presented itself nicely.

  By the eighth floor she began to feel a bit light-headed. She brought a hand to her forehead and inhaled shakily. She didn’t remember feeling that way when Darrak tried to walk out of the office yesterday.

  The impromptu experiment was working.

  Six floors at approximately ten feet per floor? That was sixty feet.

  Seventy feet.

  Eighty.

  A sharp pain wrenched through her stomach. She doubled over and staggered back until she hit the wall of the elevator. A moment later, thick black smoke slithered in through the crack at the top of the elevator door. It moved to pool on the floor, then slowly took form.

  Just before the doors opened on ground level, Darrak had fully rematerialized. He crouched on the floor at her feet, his chest heaving. Sweat beaded his forehead. His current expression was anything but that of the pleasant and amiable Darrak she’d begun to expect. In fact, he looked furious.

  She’d wanted to see what would happen—to test their boundaries and perhaps find out that they didn’t actually have any, but now the guilt returned to replace the pain that she’d felt before.

  “Don’t do that again,” he said darkly. “Please.”

  She swallowed hard. Well, at least he said please.

  “I just wanted to see if we could—”

  He rose to his feet, grabbed her upper arms firmly, and pushed her up against the mirrored elevator wall. In human form, he was very tall. And big. And strong. She suddenly felt extremely intimidated by him—especially by that angry look in his blue eyes that for a split second she swore changed to a strange, flickering amber.

  “You want to get rid of me.” Despite the fiery look in his gaze, the words were as sharp and cold as icicles. “I get it. We both want that. Do you think I want to put up with you every hour of the day, either? Think again. But right now we can’t do anything but try to make this work.”

  “Let go of me.”

  “First I want to make sure you understand me.” His eyes narrowed. “And just so you know, being forced to lose form like that hurts like hell. And I know what Hell feels like.”

  “I understand,” she said through clenched teeth, before her own swell of anger faded. She’d only wanted to test a theory, not cause him any more pain. “I felt something unpleasant this time, too.”

  “Of course you did.”

  She frowned at his quick agreement. “But yesterday I didn’t feel anything when you tried to leave the office. And even during the exorcism… I only felt a twinge. But today it was actually… painful.”

  “Lucky you.” A cold, humorless smile curled his lips. “It means we’re bonding.”

  “Which means what?”

  “Enough time has passed since I first possessed you that not only do I depend entirely on your physical and unusual psychic energy to exist, you’ve also begun to depend on me as well.”

  She blinked up at him. “I don’t understand.”

  “Think of it like your morning cup of coffee. You get used to having it every day until one day you don’t. Then you get a headache from the caffeine withdrawal. For now it’s still mild. We haven’t quite crossed the line into heroin territory yet.”

  Her eyes widened. “I’m becoming addicted to you?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “You say it like it’s a bad thing.”

  Darrak hadn’t let go of her and still had her effortlessly pressed up against the elevator wall. The doors stayed open at ground level, but no one was in the lobby to see them.

  “It is a bad thing,” she said firmly.

  “Then it’s just one more reason why testing our limits shouldn’t be on your daily to-do list. Just remember, Eden, I want this over infinitely more than you do.”

  Her jaw clenched. “I hate this.”

  “So do I. Bottom line, you don’t have to like me and I don’t have to like you. But until we find the witch, we’re stuck together.”

  “What if we can’t find her?”

  He looked at her for a long moment and any mild edge of humor left his expression completely. “Then a year from now I’ll be looking for a new host.”

  “Why?”

  “Because that’s when you’re going to die.”

  With that, he finally released her and left the elevator.

  EIGHT

  Eden caught up to the demon outside the building. “What the hell did you just say?”

  His shoulders stiffened and he stopped walking. “None of my former hosts have lived more than a year from when I possessed them.”

  Her mouth felt dry. “I’m going to die in a year.”

  “Only if we haven’t fixed this problem.” Darrak turned so she could see his expression was stony.

  Just when she thought this situation sucked as hard as it possibly could, it started sucking just a little bit more.

  “So you’ve never possessed anyone for more than a year at a time?”

  “That’s what it means.” Some of that angry expression left his face when he saw the reaction his latest newsflash had caused. “One year. And that’s if they don’t get themselves killed before that deadline. Pardon the expression.”

  Her breath caught and a wave of nausea rushed through her. She bent over and braced her hands on her knees. “Oh, my God. I think I’m going to be sick.”

  “We’ll fix this. I promise. Don’t puke.”

  She tried to breathe. “How many people have you killed?”

  He looked confused. “What?”

  “Some of them probably didn’t even realize what was going on, right? You killed them just by using their bodies. Hundreds of them.” She actually gagged at the horrible thought.

  He opened his mouth as if to protest, but then closed it. “I know it doesn’t look good. Being a demon, my first impulse is self-preservation—it’s ingrained in me. I know it won’t make much of a difference to you, but after I realized the problem, I tried very hard to find people the world wouldn’t mind losing.”

  Eden took in a shaky breath. “What does that mean?”

  He reached out as if he was going to touch her shoulder, but then pulled his hand back when she flinched away from him. “Like the serial killer from yesterday. The world is better off without him in it. I try to choose bad people whose souls are already black.”

  She blanched. “Is that what I have? A black soul?”

  “No.” He met her eyes. “Your soul is as bright as polished silver.”

  “You can see it?”

  “I can sense it. Even right now as we stand here.” His jaw clenched. “I think it’s a big part of what gives me the strength to take form. I’ve never sensed a soul so… shiny.”

  She had a shiny soul. Like a stainless-steel refrigerator. That should be enough to save her from the forces of darkness, right?

  “So why me?” It sounded like she was whining—mostly because she was. She didn’t ask for this. And if she hadn’t done anything to deserve it, then why was this happening to her?

  “I didn’t have any choice yesterday. If my host dies before I’ve had a chance to plan my jump, I need to possess the first human body I can get to. If I don’t, then I’ll…”

  “You’ll what?”

  “I’ll be sucked into the void as sure as if I’d been exorcised.” His voice sounded thick and he raked his fingers through his dark hair. “It wouldn’t take long. A few minutes at the most. That’s why that irresistible self-protection force kicks in. I can’t help it.”

  Eden frowned very hard at him. “Are you trying to make me feel sorry for you?”

  “No. I’m just trying to make you understand.”

  “Black soul or shiny soul aside, just by your presence, you’ve killed over three hundred people since you were cursed. That’s what you’re telling me, right?”

  His expression shadowed and he visibly swallowed. “I’m not trying to justify what has happened before. But it’s dif
ferent now. You’re different. None of my previous hosts have ever been able to help me do this.” He waved a hand at his physical body. “We can figure this out. I promise.”

  Figure it out. Which essentially came down to one thing, and one thing only. Find a witch who hadn’t been seen or heard from in over three centuries.

  And they had a year to do it or she was going to die.

  Her heart was thudding wildly, but she forced herself to calm down and look at the demon.

  Darrak looked so damned earnest. She’d already seen cocky and suave, and she’d definitely seen pissed off, but now he was all grave and sincere.

  At that moment she wished he was totally, unrepentantly evil. If that was the case, then she wouldn’t have tried to stop the exorcism and all of this would be a horrific but fading memory.

  She started walking toward her parking spot. “So we basically need to find a missing person.”

  “The witch.”

  She nodded. “The man I work with, Andy, he used to work for the FBI before he moved up here and opened Triple-A. If there’s somebody who might be able to help find a missing person, it’s him.”

  Darrak’s dark eyebrows raised. “Sounds like a start.”

  It did. A weak one, but still a start. Besides, despite Andy’s stack of typing he needed done yesterday, the office hadn’t been very busy since Eden had come onboard. Andy might welcome the chance to do a little pro bono digging. And if he didn’t, she wasn’t above begging and pleading.

  She just had to make sure not to reveal that he was actually searching for a three-hundred-year-old witch. On behalf of a mass-murdering but self-proclaimed “good” demon. That might not go over so well.

  If only her psychic abilities were more reliable and controllable. Sure, she’d found the serial killer yesterday, but that had been a total fluke. She couldn’t simply find anyone, anywhere, at any time.

  Unfortunately. Because that would be really helpful right about now.

  Only a day ago she had no idea that demons even existed. Now that she did, she wanted to forget about that little chaotic piece of the paranormal universe she’d accidentally stumbled into and go back to her normal, orderly life where things were safer and controllable.

  The sooner the better.

  ———

  Andy waited for her outside Triple-A. His arms were crossed.

  “Something you want to tell me?” he asked.

  She froze. “Uh…”

  He nodded at the entrance. “New door?”

  “Oh… yes. It’s a new door.”

  His eyes flicked to Darrak, who stood next to Eden. “Thanks for the heads-up. I don’t have a key for it. I’ve been trying to call your cell phone for a half an hour.”

  Her cheeks flushed. “Sorry. I totally forgot. And my phone’s off.”

  She grabbed her key, handed Andy the spare, and opened the shiny new door. It was symbolic, really. If a door could be fixed soon after it had been broken, then so could she. A positive attitude was all it took. She’d ask the universe for what she wanted—easy as that. The law of attraction would work to do her bidding.

  I don’t want to be possessed anymore. I want Darrak to go away and I never want to see him again. Ciao, demon.

  There. That should be more than enough to get the universe working.

  “Andy—” she said as they went inside the office. He was totally the key to getting the answers—she knew it.

  “Are you going to tell me what the hell happened to the door?” He’d picked up the invoice she’d left on his desk.

  “Uh… a little accident.”

  His pale brows drew together. “Rush service? Do you know what this cost?”

  “Well, I figured it was better to fix it right away than leave a gaping hole there all night so anyone could just walk in and make themselves at home.”

  His attention moved to the tall man standing silently behind her and he thrust his chin in that direction. “Who’s he? The reason why you’re late this morning?”

  In a word, yes, she thought. He’s my own personal demon. And he has to stay within approximately eighty feet of me at all times or it causes both of us excruciating pain. And he’s going to inadvertently kill me in a year if I don’t find a way to get rid of him. Also, FYI, he enjoys crunchy peanut butter and is comfortable with nudity.

  But she didn’t say that out loud, of course. “This is… Darrak. He’s… my brother.”

  Oh, sure. That sounded plausible enough, didn’t it?

  “Your brother?” Andy repeated. “I thought you were Caroline’s only kid?”

  Eden looked over her shoulder at Darrak, who had his arms crossed, and he raised a dark eyebrow at her to show his amusement.

  “I’m her brother from a different mother,” he offered.

  Kill me, she thought.

  She moistened her lips. “He’s staying with me for a few—” Hours? Days? Months? Another wave of nausea surged through her. “For a little while.”

  “Really?” Andy seemed surprised. “I got the impression you were a total loner who hates company.”

  She forced a smile. That was his impression of her? Very accurate, actually. Uncomplimentary, but accurate. “For family it’s different, of course.”

  Darrak snorted at that. “Sorry. I know… sis… likes her privacy, but she’s been very accommodating so far. If you ignore the screaming. Ha. Just kidding, of course. Mostly.”

  “Good to meet you, Darrak. Any brother of Eden’s is… well, you know.” Andy stood up from his desk and thrust out his hand.

  Darrak eyed it for a moment before tentatively shaking it. He looked at Eden with a half grin. “Having a body sure is hard to get used to, isn’t it?”

  She forced the smile to remain plastered on her lips. “It sure is.”

  Andy was looking at her strangely. “What does he mean by that?”

  She coughed nervously. “Don’t mind Darrak. He’s a little… well”—she lowered her voice—“slow is a good word. He’s not used to being out and about from the, uh… special home he normally lives in down south.”

  To say the least.

  “Oh.” Andy nodded. “I think I understand. I have a cousin like that, too.” He punched Darrak playfully in the shoulder. “You have a very nice sister to let you stay with her and hang out at her job. It’s fun being on vacation, isn’t it, sport?”

  Darrak looked at Eden dryly. “I just hope I don’t hurt myself with my enthusiasm.”

  Eden pressed her lips together. The day had not started well.

  “Andy, I need to ask a favor,” she said.

  He looked at her skeptically. “I don’t have any money for a loan right now.”

  “You immediately assume I want money?”

  He sat down in his chair, leaned back, and rubbed his temples. “Look, Eden, I have some bad news. I may as well tell you now and get it over with.”

  Her mouth went dry. More bad news? “What is it?”

  “Triple-A is going out of business. I’m declaring bankruptcy.” His voice broke and his face crumpled. “I’m such a pathetic failure.”

  “What are you talking about?” This was the first news she’d heard of this.

  “I’m broke.” He looked at Darrak. “That means that I have no money. Having no money makes it hard to be happy, chum.”

  “Chum?” Darrak repeated.

  “Andy,” Eden said. “It can’t be that bad.”

  “Trust me, it is. The bills have been piling up for months now. I’ve been going to the racetrack to try to make some quick cash, but that’s only sunk me in deeper. I haven’t had a new client in forever. I’ve been keeping you busy just so you wouldn’t figure out how much of a loser I am.”

  She let out a long breath. “We can figure this out.”

  He shook his head. “I’ve tried. Nothing has worked.”

  She didn’t like seeing him so upset, but a fresh burst of annoyance filled her. “Well, you can’t just make this decision by yourself
. I own half this business.”

  “Actually, you own 49 percent of it. Check your papers. Which makes me the deciding partner. And I’ve decided to cut my losses.” He looked over at a framed picture of a bikini-clad babe on a beautiful beach on the wall next to the bookcase. “And I’m moving to Hawaii. Even though I’m not really welcome in the U.S. anymore for reasons I’d rather not get into right now, I’ll figure out a way to get to the glorious fiftieth state.”

  “Andy—”

  “And I’ll have to get rid of Rhonda,” he said sadly.

  “Who’s Rhonda?”

  He looked up and his face paled. “That’s what I call my Porsche. I’m going to miss her so much.” He exhaled shakily. “My beautiful Rhonda.”

  Eden had counted on Andy helping her find the witch. If he was busy feeling sorry for himself while getting a suntan in Hawaii, that wouldn’t exactly help, would it?

  Andy blinked slowly, rubbed at his eyes, and looked at her. “What was it you wanted to ask?”

  She looked at Darrak. She couldn’t talk. Her throat felt thick.

  “I’m looking for somebody,” Darrak said. “An old… friend. She’s in the area, but I have no idea how to find her.”

  “I’d love to help you out, sport, but I don’t think I can.”

  “I know you were in the FBI.” Eden pushed the words out. “And it might be easy for you to locate somebody. A missing person case. My—my brother… he has his heart set on finding this woman. He doesn’t take disappointment very well, especially when he’s… um… off his medication. He might have a tantrum.”

  Darrak nodded gravely. “It’s very likely, actually.”

  Andy frowned at her. “Did I tell you I was with the Bureau?”

  “Not in so many words. But I’d have to be blind not to notice your Distinguished Service Award.” She nodded at the framed document on the wall next to his Hawaiian beach fa ntasy.

  He followed her gaze. “I got that a long time ago.”

  “So can you help Darrak?” Help me, she added internally.

  Andy’s bottom lip wobbled. “I can’t even help myself.”

  “Andy, please—”

  He held up a hand. “I’m sorry, Eden. Really, I am. But it’s over. This whole façade of a business. I gave it my best shot.”