Shake, Rattle and Roll: The Baxter Boys #4 (The Baxter Boys ~ Rattled)

by Charles, Jane

  “I thought we’d figure out a fifty-fifty split. He or she will be with me half of the time and you the other half. And, with you, they get a houseful of family too.”

  “You aren’t just saying that?” She did keep the pregnancy from me, and I get why, but I need to make certain that this isn’t a lie or empty promise.

  “I would never deny my child the love he or she would have from their father, and his family. Nor would I deny you the opportunity to be a real dad, instead of just a dad every other weekend.”

  But, I don’t want just half of the time. I want it all. “Why can’t both of us be 100% all of the time.”

  I look up into her blue eyes. There is pain, hope, reluctance and worry. That is my fault—all of it—and until now, she’s been alone with dealing with what is to come.

  “Maybe one day, but that isn’t something I can agree to right now.”

  At least it isn’t an automatic no.

  “We need to see what we are together. Not become a couple again because there is a baby. That never works. We need to be us and we have about six months to figure out what we are.”

  I can’t help it but I slowly smile as everything sinks in. “I’m going to be a dad.”

  “Yes, you are.” She chuckles.

  I wanted this conversation over and had dreaded it at the same time, but I hadn’t anticipated the relief that would follow

  “We’ll make it work,” he insists.

  “I always knew we would.” That is the one thing that I always had confidence in. Christian will be an awesome dad and I always intended on him being as much a part of this child’s life as I am. Even if it meant sitting next to him at silly school plays, or little league games, or dance recitals, and even those dreaded parent-teacher conferences, even if we weren’t together as a couple.

  He sobers and looks up at me. “That’s the real reason why you aren’t continuing with school.”

  “I need to work fulltime, and I need the money. Work, school and a baby will be too much.”

  “But you wanted to be a physician’s assistant.”

  Christian doesn’t need to remind me about what I wanted. I know full well what I am putting aside. “I’m only putting off my plans. School and work would leave me no time for my child and I’m not going to have a sitter raising him or her when they aren’t with you. In time I’ll go back to school, maybe, but being a present parent is a lot more important and something I’d rather do anyway.” In truth, I’m not really upset about not pursuing my career because this is so much better.

  Christian nods, gets up from the stool and walks around the island. There’s a thoughtful look on his face as he dumps the coffee from last night and rinses the put. “If I get a recording deal, that could come with a decent amount of money. I could support you while you went to school.

  My stomach flips at the offer, but I won’t take it. “I don’t know what our relationship will be when this baby is born. It’s better if I just work and we go from there and figure things out as we go.”

  He fills the back of the coffeemaker with fresh water then adds fresh grounds to the top. “Well, it does make my decision a little easier.”

  “What decision?”

  “Between Louie’s band and a recording deal.”

  “How so?” He can’t really be deciding on something so important now.

  “I know what the guys make, and it’s decent money, but a recording deal could be a hell of a lot more, and I wouldn’t be gone in the evening five nights a week, I don’t think.”

  “You need to find out everything before you decide.” I don’t want him jumping after something he doesn’t want.

  Her turns to me as the coffee starts brewing. “I’m going to be a dad. I’m going to go with the one that gives me the most time with my kid, and pays the best. I’ll have a child to support.” Christian says it all with a grin. I guess it’s no different from me putting off school. We’ll do what we need so our child has us whenever possible.

  “Do your parents know?” he asks quietly.

  “Yes.”

  He grabs two mugs from the cupboard.

  “Do they want you to move back to Kentucky?”

  His back is to me, but he’s tense, like he’s afraid that I’ll up and leave, even though I just told him that he’d be part of raising the child.

  “At first, but after I explained, and told them about you and that you would be a good dad, they agreed that I should stay here.”

  His back straightens. “What all did you tell them?”

  “I needed to make them understand why family was important to you and some of what you told me, like what your mom did and the foster system.”

  “And they didn’t insist you avoid me?” He slowly turns.

  “No.” I come around so I can make him understand. “I know you don’t want to share that part of your life, and I get it. But you don’t know my parents either. They aren’t judging you on a past you had no control over and they trust my judgement. But, they’ll probably visit often and give you a lot of advice you don’t want or need.” It’s only fair to warn him.

  “Meddling?” he starts to smile again.

  “Where both of us are concerned, but it’s because they will be the grandparents and probably figure it’s their right.”

  “I can deal with meddling grandparents.”

  “I’ll remind you of that after you meet them,” I laugh.

  Christian slips his arms around my waist and pulls me close. “We’ll make this work.”

  “I hope so,” I murmur as I lay my head against his chest.

  “I’m going to be a dad,” he says with almost awe.

  “Yeah, you are.” I grin.

  47

  Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, can bring me down from the high I’m on right now. Bethany has agreed to try to make this work, as in us being together. We have some work yet and she won’t let me move in, but I can take it slow. I even get to go to her doctor’s appointments and everything.

  I am going to be a dad!

  It’s almost too good to be true. I want to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming or something.

  “Can we tell the guys?” I ask as we head up to the brownstone. She’s never been here before, but I’ve got to change clothes before I meet with Tripp, Oliver and Eliza. I hope she doesn’t want me to keep this in because I’m not sure I can.

  “Yes.”

  Everybody is hanging out in the living and dining room when we step inside. It’s the same almost every time. Ryan is editing pictures, Zach is working on a wig, Sean is going over blueprints, Alex is drawing, and Dylan is behind his computer. This is our life. If one of them came in, I’d probably be on my sax or writing music. That’s just how it is. How we live. Doing our own thing and being together, with a few newer additions. Kelsey is curled up in a chair reading a book and Nina is just coming down the stairs with Tex following, her boyfriend who sleeps here on Saturday nights.

  I shake my head. Those two met at the gym they both work at, but Miguel, the guy who owns it, is totally against premarital sex and kind of a father figure to Nina. He told Tex they could only date on the weekends and that he is to be a gentlemen and do things like walk, hold hands, go out to dinners or movies, but no sex. Those two respect the old man enough to do as he asks, even if Nina is 18 and Tex is 22, except on Saturday nights. That’s their date night and when Tex spends the night, breaking Miguel’s rules. Or, at least I assume they are breaking the rules.

  Mary comes out of the kitchen carrying a cup and her eyes meet mine. They widen slightly and in that instant, I know. I pull Bethany back outside. “Does Mary know?” I need that confirmation and am still not sure how I feel about her knowing before I do.

  Bethany bites her bottom lip and nods.

  “Dylan?” If one of my best friends knew and didn’t tell me, I’m not sure if I’d be more pissed or hurt.

  “I swore her to secrecy.”

  “Did she keep it?�
��

  “I assume so, but she hates it and has pushed me to tell you because she hates keeping something from Dylan.”

  I head back to the door, but Bethany grabs my arm.

  “I needed someone to talk to. Please, don’t make an issue out of it.”

  Does she think I’ll go off on Mary? “It’s fine.” I assure her. “It really is.”

  When we step back inside they are all looking at us, curiosity in their eyes. I guess it was odd to walk in and then go right back out. I take Bethany’s hand and feel myself smiling. I’ll probably be grinning for the rest of my life.

  “So, did you two work things out?” Sean asks. He’s studying me like he can sense something’s up.

  “Working on it,” I tell them. Bethany and I are getting there and I’m going to do everything in my power to make her fall in love with me again.

  Sean nods, but still studies me. “What’s going on?”

  I glance at Bethany and she just gives me a nod.

  “I’m going to be a dad,” I nearly shout.

  Nothing but silence at my announcement. They are looking from me to Bethany and back again.

  Only Mary reacts as she blows out a sigh and drops into an empty seat. Nobody else notices except Dylan and he shoots her a look. “Did you know?” he demands.

  She doesn’t look at him but gives a quick nod.

  I see the flash of anger and take a step forward.

  “You knew one of my best friends was going to be a dad and you didn’t tell me?”

  “Hey. It wasn’t hers to tell,” I say in Mary’s defense. “She’s Bethany’s friend and having someone you can confide in is almost as important as family.” I hold a hell of a lot of his secrets. I don’t know what he’s told Mary about his past, but I’m not going to be sharing his personal stuff with her or Bethany any more than Mary should be sharing Bethany’s.

  “I wanted to tell you. I really did, but I couldn’t.”

  “That’s why you made a point that we not get involved in what is happening between them and that your friendship with Bethany was just as important as mine with Christian and that we wouldn’t share anything to keep from getting involved.”

  “I couldn’t,” she says. Her eyes almost pleading with Dylan.

  “It wasn’t for her to tell,” I say again. “I’m not angry and neither should you be.” I‘ll be damned if I’m going to stand by while they fight over this.

  “I begged her to keep it quiet,” Bethany says. “Mary hated holding my secret.”

  “I really did,” Mary says, looking at Dylan as if she’s silently begging him not to be angry. “But, I’d do it again. Trust is everything to me. You know that.”

  He holds her eyes for a few more minutes and then relaxes. “You’re right.”

  Inwardly I relax as the potential argument fades.

  “You’re really going to be a dad?” Sean asks, his grin getting bigger.

  “Yep.”

  “When?” He shifts plans out of the way and gets his notepad out.

  I have no idea and look at Bethany. Why didn’t I ask that question?

  “Around the first of December.”

  He gives a nod and starts taking notes.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Making designs for the basement.” He answers. “My room is next to yours, but a baby can’t be down there, unless you and Bethany want to be separated from the rest of us, which I get, but it would probably be better if we just turn my room into a nursery. Then your room will be right next to nursery.” Sean’s still grinning. “Shake, rattle and roll, right?”

  I laugh. “But there are not punches to this scenario.”

  “The song?” Bethany asks, her eyes clouded with confusion.

  “No, my motto from back then. When your world shakes up, and leaves you rattled inside, just roll with the punches and you’ll be just fine.”

  “No punches this time?” she asks.

  “Hell no.” I grin. “You have shaken up my world and I’m rattled as hell, but I’m going to enjoy rolling along on this ride.” I kiss the tip of her nose. “Nothing unpleasant to endure.”

  “Okay,” she laughs. She doesn’t get it, but that’s okay. She doesn’t need to. But, Sean is moving a little quick on this. “I can take the basement. Babies cry at night,” I remind him.

  “Yeah, but if you guys go out or something, we need to be able to hear the baby.”

  “There are monitors for that.” Bethany laughs.

  “But, there is also a door leading to a garden, with access to an alley. Even though nobody has ever broken in, I don’t like it. I’ll be down there and the baby will be safe.”

  I hadn’t even thought about arrangements like that. My head has just been filled with being a father, but I do need to make plans. I want to be with Bethany 100%, but she isn’t going to jump as quickly as I am, and I get it, I really do. But, whether she is with me or not when the time comes, I’ll need a nursery.

  “We have time for all of that.” I laugh.

  “I know, but time can sneak up on you. At least now I’ll have something fun to work on next week.”

  Is something going on that I don’t know about? Shouldn’t he be working? “What’s going on next week?”

  “Jury duty,” Sean grumbles, the lifts his plans. “But, by the time I’m done sitting in that room, I’ll get the drawings finished.”

  Ryan picks up his camera and takes a picture. Then stands. “Move,” he tells me.

  I step away from Bethany.

  “Turn to the side,” he instructs.

  She eyes me with confusion.

  “It’s his thing.”

  “You can’t even tell I’m pregnant.”

  “A study in life,” Ryan answers. “I have one series.” He glances at Kelsey. “Now I’ll have another and I won’t get in trouble for this one.”

  “I’ll explain later,” I whisper. Or, I’ll explain as much as I’m allowed. Bethany still doesn’t know everything about Baxter and I can tell her my stuff, but I won’t tell her the full truth about everybody else without their permission. One of those truths is that Kelsey was pregnant when she first got to Baxter and Ryan took pictures of her daily, the growth of her belly, but they got in trouble when he was caught taking pictures of her naked belly because we weren’t supposed to show any skin, other than arms or legs, if we happened to be wearing shorts. There was nothing sexual about Ryan wanting pictures of the baby bump, just a photo series.

  What Baxter is and how we got there is the reason I’m not upset about Mary keeping Bethany’s confidences. Everybody needs at least one person they can trust with secrets. I’m lucky enough to have a bunch of people who know most of mine and would never talk without permission.

  Zach stands, shaking his head and grinning. “We’re going to have a baby.” He comes forward and grabs me in a hug. “Congratulations, man.”

  “I believe I’m the one having the baby,” Bethany says.

  “No, It’s not just you,” Alex says. “It’s all of us and we are going to be the best damn uncles.”

  “And aunts,” Kelsey says

  Then Zach grabs Bethany and pulls her into a hug before kissing her cheek. “Thank you for giving Christian his dream.”

  If I’m not mistaken, his eyes are kind of watery.

  Hell, I’m surprised that I’m not crying. Of course, there was the whole shock and argument thing. Maybe it hasn’t all sunk in yet.

  I pull back as each of the guys come up and congratulate Christian. They congratulate me too, but this means a lot to them. I didn’t get it, and was kind of afraid of their reaction, truth be told, because I didn’t know what to expect. Hell, it could have been the exact opposite with them being pissed at me for trapping Christian somehow, not that marriage is on the table, but a baby does limit future plans somewhat.

  But these guys are really happy for Christian, and they will be excellent to have in our child’s life.

  I sink down into the couch
and just keep quiet and take it all in. Christian settles next to me and pulls me close.

  “How was Bee Bee’s last night?” Sean asks. “Did you tell Louie before you told us?”

  If I’m not mistaken, there’s a bit of jealousy in his tone.

  “No,” Christian assures them. “And, I should have shared Louie and the guys with you before now,” he admits.

  “Yep,” Zach says and I get the feeling this isn’t the first time they’ve had this conversation.

  “I’m an ass,” Christian says. “Bethany is making me not one.”

  “I’m not sure even she could do that,” Sean laughs.

  “I shouldn’t have kept my lives separate. I shouldn’t get in my own head and I should have stopped being a loner before now.”

  They all look at him. The agreement with his words is in their eyes.

  “I don’t know what I was afraid of. Maybe of losing one, and needing to have the other for a backup. I don’t really know”

  “It was something of your own,” Sean says. “We all need to have that. Especially with what we’ve gone through.”

  What does he mean by that? I’ll have to ask Christian later.

  “But, don’t you think it’s time to share, given you are going to be a dad now and will have something even better that is your own?”

  “And mine,” I remind them with a laugh. Not that I think they’d try to take my baby or anything, but I am the mom.

  “Two things that are your own,” Sean corrects.

  “That’s why I want you guys to come to Bee Bee’s this week sometime.” He looks at Zach. “When you don’t have to perform somewhere.”

  “Got nothing this weekend, so Friday sounds perfect.”

  Christian is making the effort. Not that I want to change him or anything, but letting people in isn’t a bad thing either.

  ”Besides, I might be taking over Louie’s place.” Then he explains what is happening with the band, and the music producer, and what he may or may not do depending on offers, schedules and everything that we’ve already discussed.”

  There are more congratulations and requests to keep them posted on decisions and all that as warmth sinks into my belly. These guys may not be related by blood, but they are family as much, if not better, than siblings. At least from what I’ve seen of other families.