In essence, I’d agreed to save his ass, and he hadn’t even said thank you.
“I won’t let you give him the money,” I said to the floor.
A strong, rough hand caressed my cheek. That hand had taken a life, more than one, yet it made me feel safer than anything ever had.
“I will see to him.”
I looked at Carlos. “I’d rather you stay here and protect Gabriel.”
His thumb swiped over my cheekbone. “I won’t leave his side.”
I rested my hand on top of his. “I feel like whether he lives or dies is in my hands. How do I live with that?”
“You focus on Gabriel and what’s best for him. The same as you’ve always done.”
“Should I call the police?” I didn’t want to be in trouble for harboring a fugitive.
“Not now. Donato will help us figure out what is best.” He drifted his hand down my neck, and I shuddered. “Let’s go to bed.”
“You’re on the couch.” I wouldn’t bother arguing about him staying with us when I wanted him to. For our safety and nothing else. Liar.
“I don’t think so.”
He placed a hand on the small of my back and led me to the bedroom. Anticipation bubbled inside my chest. This wasn’t the time to be thinking about getting lost in him, but I couldn’t help the effect he had on me. When we were together, he gave me strength.
Watching him shed his sweater did nothing to squelch my growing desire. The gun he pulled from his waistband and slipped under the mattress cooled me. But I understood the need for the weapon and didn’t have the energy to argue.
When I crawled in bed, he reached over and turned off the lights. We lay there in silence for what felt like an hour, neither of us touching. All I craved was to crawl into his arms and sleep.
“You’re not a monster,” I said into the dark.
He didn’t speak for so long that I thought he was asleep. I rolled to my side, facing away from him. He scooped my body against his warm one like a shield.
“A better man would have let you go.” His breath was hot on my ear. I twined my fingers through his resting on my stomach. I’d missed him.
“Good thing I want one who never will.”
Chapter Forty-Five
Carlos
“They’re three minutes from the drop-off point.”
Donato and I had decided, with Holly’s agreement, we’d send a team of his men to the meet. Once Jason and whoever else was there got comfortable enough to believe we were giving them the money, the authorities would take over. Her brother and his so-called friends needed to be behind bars. It wasn’t the best solution, but Holly felt it was better than leaving him out in the world to fend for himself.
I was torn between wanting to handle the situation myself and staying put with Holly and Gabriel. She’d asked me to protect them, and I would, but I somehow felt responsible for Jason.
I wasn’t accustomed to relying on others. The more I did, the easier it became, though I wasn’t sure I’d ever get used to it.
Holly paced in front of the coffee table in Daniel’s study. She’d put up a brave front today, especially around Gabriel, but her nerves were palpable. After we’d picked him up from school, we’d left him in Muriella’s care while we waited for the evening’s events to unfold.
I leaned against the mantel. Every time she moved, her scent enveloped me. I longed to hook her by the waist and comfort her, but I was uncertain. She’d allowed me to hold her through the night, even after she woke and thought I didn’t know. I didn’t take it as a sign she’d had a change of heart about us. She’d needed someone to be there for her. As long as I had breath, I would be.
Holly stopped beside me and looked up. A myriad of emotions washed over her face. Fear. Anxiety. A trace of anger. All I desired was to take it away so she would be free to enjoy her life with Gabriel.
When I felt her arm slide around my back, I stiffened in surprise, but immediately folded her against me. She flinched at the feel of my gun, though she didn’t let go. Why was it when she was close I could breathe easier and lose my breath all at once?
I kissed the top of her head, and she burrowed against me. This was my place. It had taken me over forty years to find it, but I finally had.
Daniel and I exchanged a look. Understanding, as if he’d been in my position, was in his shrewd eyes. He knew I’d had no business ever pursuing Holly, but sometimes there was no choice.
The shrill ring of Donato’s phone pierced the otherwise silent air. Holly jumped and held me an extra second before she let go, steeling herself for the news.
Donato didn’t speak as the person on the other end briefed him. He hung up without ever uttering a word. His back was to us as he sat in one of the chairs facing Daniel’s desk.
He and Daniel had a wordless exchange before he stood and moved toward us. The man rarely showed emotion, and now was no different. It was impossible to tell if things had gone as planned or straight to hell.
“Holly, I’m sorry.” And he sounded as if he truly were. I put a hand of support on her hip. “Jason slipped away again.”
She gasped, put a hand to her chest, but quickly collected herself. “What happened? Why would he do that when he called me for help?”
Donato put his hands in his pockets. I couldn’t recall ever seeing him uncomfortable, but he didn’t seem to want to relay the course of events.
“The authorities swarmed before they should have,” he said with a trace of annoyance. “Gunfire was exchanged, and in the commotion, he escaped.”
She stared at him for a moment, as if willing him to take back the words. I pulled her back flush with my front, but she didn’t seem to feel it.
“Was he wounded?”
“We don’t know. One of my men trailed him into the woods, but Jason evaded him. It seems he’s quite good at that.”
Holly snorted. “Tell me about it. He vanishes and reappears like magic.”
“I’m sorry this didn’t have a better outcome.”
“I need a minute,” she said hoarsely as she shrugged out of my hold.
“There’s a bedroom down the hall to the left,” Daniel said.
She nodded and disappeared from the study. I was two steps behind her when Donato placed a hand on my shoulder.
“Let her be.”
I looked through the open door, desperate to comfort her. But because of people like me, her brother was constantly on the run. I should’ve tried to help him so Holly wouldn’t be in this vicious cycle of pain.
Donato steered me toward the other chair in front of the desk. Daniel offered me a glass of whiskey, but I declined. I’d learned early whatever solace it provided was only temporary.
I leaned forward, bracing my forearms on my knees. What now?
“I no longer believe he’s as innocent or gullible as it first seemed. We’ll find him. And make sure Holly and Gabriel are safe until we do,” Donato said as if he could read my mind. It had been a mistake not to take him up on his offer the first time to get Jason out of jail and put him in rehabilitation.
I opened my mouth to ask how but decided against it. The man had done more for me than my father ever began to. I shoved my fingers through my hair. Once again I was thinking of him in paternal terms when there was no place for it. I didn’t have a father. Never had.
“I’m going to check on Holly,” I said, unable to bear the thought of her dealing with the news on her own.
“This isn’t our only problem,” Daniel said.
As if I didn’t know that.
A silent conversation ensued between the men. Was this what it would have been like to have a brother and father I could depend on? I hardly knew Daniel. When had I become so desperate for family?
“Eduardo Sandoval surfaced in Miami,” Daniel continued when I didn’t respond.
Fuck me. Despite the fact the city was thousands of miles from here, it made me incredibly uncomfortable to be in the same country. “What’s he doing?”<
br />
“He’s placed a bounty on your head to the highest bidder.” Daniel spoke as if he were reciting a news story.
Killing Eduardo had always been a very likely thing I’d have to do, but it had just become essential. It was the only way to get the bounty off my head. Would there ever be a day when I didn’t have a trail of bodies behind me?
Donato uncrossed his legs and leaned forward. “The time has come. You have to run.”
Chapter Forty-Six
Holly
“I need to forget.”
I filled a glass with pinot noir and wondered why I’d bothered when I could chug straight from the bottle.
Carlos pried the glass from my hand and set it on the counter. He led me to my bedroom and made a quick check on the way to make sure Gabriel’s door was closed.
He didn’t speak as he removed my clothes, but he conveyed everything he wanted to say with the intensity in his eyes. I lifted my arms above my head, and he peeled my shirt off. He seemed to be drinking in every inch of my body.
Once we were both naked, he gently lowered me to the bed. Instead of kissing me, he rolled us to the side and used his strong arms to pull until we were pressed together. The lights were still on. There was nowhere to hide from his penetrating gaze, not that I wanted to.
“I want you to remember.”
His hands were like brands against my back, leaving imprints that I was sure to feel once they were gone. I touched his chest, surprised at the thump, thump, thump of his racing heart.
“That’s what you do to me.”
He couldn’t be sweet to me. Not now. I needed him to use my body, not steal my soul.
The blinding truth was he was always kind, even when he ravaged my body. And though I’d told him we couldn’t be together, and we couldn’t, he already owned me.
He lifted my right hand to his lips and placed a reverent kiss in the center of my palm. Something shifted between us. It was powerful and potent. I was locked in the spell of him, and I prayed it would never break.
As much as I desired him, this intimacy was what I needed more than anything. He’d recognized that even when I didn’t. I slid my arms around his back and felt one of the many scars.
He was a cartel king. A killer.
And the most beautiful person I’d ever known.
I kissed his cheek and his nose. One corner of his mouth lifted, and I kissed that too before I tucked my head underneath his chin and snuggled against him.
His arms were the most dangerous place I’d ever been and yet the safest. I was afraid when the time came, I wouldn’t be able to leave them. He was right. I didn’t need to forget. I wanted to remember every single second of this right here.
* * *
“Carlos?”
I squinted, the lights now dimmed above us, though not completely out. He still held me, those dark eyes tired as he stared. Our heads were on the same pillow.
“Beauty,” he whispered. That single word was a vise around my heart. He’d told me he loved me, and as unbelievable as that seemed, I felt it.
“Have you slept?”
“No.”
I curled my hand around his neck and stroked his pulse point. “What’s wrong?”
He didn’t say anything for the longest time, didn’t have to. The weight of all we faced was heavy, but after a few hours of just being, I felt rejuvenated, like we could conquer whatever lay ahead.
We.
Not I, but we.
He lifted my right hand and kissed the center of my palm as he had before. “In some cultures, that signifies the start of a joining. They are considered married even without a ceremony.”
My mind spun at the implication. “Are you proposing?”
“Yes.”
I blinked at him. It didn’t seem real, but his expression was serious. Even though I had blocked him out when he asked about Gabriel’s father, and whether he was in the picture, he’d stayed. Even though I’d told him to leave, he’d been there, supporting me both emotionally and physically. He was well aware my life was far from simple, yet he wants me. He wants . . . us. He was from a world my son would have no part of. He was a man being chased by a drug lord and killer. And he was so much more than I’d ever dreamed a man could be. I loved him with every part of my being.
I attacked him with kisses, landing them anywhere on his face I could find. He pulled me on top of him and let me do as I pleased. His hands planted on my hips as fresh desire washed over me.
I needed to show him how I felt, how much I wanted his promise of a future even if we couldn’t have one right now.
I reached for a condom from the nightstand and rolled it down his thick shaft. He positioned me so I hovered above it, though I was fully in control. Everything I needed to know stared up at me. His eyes were open and honest. Every ounce of love, pain, and regret was there for me to see.
The words I was desperate to tell him got lodged in my throat. I sank down on top of him and stilled. Remember. And as I moved, answering his proposal with my body, I recorded in my mind how his hair was disheveled. Every line on his handsome face. How he felt, inside and out.
Fairy tales weren’t carriages and castles and fairy godmothers.
They were two paths of battle scars and mistakes and imperfection that led to each other and became one.
After I found my prince, I’d always pictured our happily ever after would come easy. The loving him part had, but if I wanted the rest, we’d have to fight together. From day one, Carlos had an unwavering commitment to me, to Gabriel, to his sister. He tore down a wall that I erected from the pain of my past. I’d never met someone who was there for me, just for me. My parents, my brother, my relatives, no one was there only for me. And Carlos, in this short time, had been and would be for as long as I wanted him.
The time was now—together we’d fight those who were trying to bring us down, trying to tear us apart. And there was one thing I was now more certain of than ever before . . . I was ready to go to war for the ones I loved.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Carlos
“I’m not leaving.”
I had to be mistaken, but Donato appeared proud at my adamancy. That was unexpected, given that yesterday, he’d been determined I had to leave. I understood the reasoning. Muriella, Holly, and Gabriel’s safety came first.
“I never said it had to be permanent.”
“I’m not leaving them.”
Last night had solidified I wasn’t going anywhere. I had to stay and fight with Holly. For her. And for our future.
She hadn’t responded to my proposal with words, but we didn’t need them. With every touch, she conveyed exactly how she felt about us. I would end this so we could be together. Now more than ever I had the motivation I needed. As if it wasn’t strong enough before, she’d given me the hope I’d been looking for. The reason I deserved a future.
“If I were in your position, I wouldn’t leave either, but that doesn’t mean it’s the best solution.” Donato folded his hands on my sister’s kitchen table.
“I’m going to contact Eduardo. Do what has to be done. I’m not going to spend my life on the run.”
I had two more lives to take. It was necessary to save my own. Whatever that may make me, so be it. I’d do anything for my second chance.
“That isn’t wise. He’ll kill you.”
“Not if I take him out first.”
“Whatever backup you need, you’ve got it.”
I’d never experienced unconditional support, and though Donato’s had been over and over again, it still caught me off guard.
“Is there somewhere we can do business?”
“I have a place,” Daniel said. “If he’s amenable, we can set up a protective perimeter around you. It’s not foolproof, but it’s better than meeting on his turf.”
“He’ll agree,” I said. “Otherwise, he’ll never see me again.”
“Wait two days. Let’s ensure we have everything in place. Then make contac
t.” Donato took a sip of his coffee.
“What about Rosca?” I asked.
Each threat was significant in its own right. I had to choose one to eliminate first. Eduardo had just found himself at the top of that list.
“If he wanted you dead, you would be. Once we’ve dealt with Sandoval, we’ll find out what Rosca wants.”
“I assure you when he’s ready, we won’t be given an option,” I said bitterly. Nicanor Rosca answered to no one, not even men of equal stature.
“He hasn’t met me.”
While I wasn’t afraid of Donato, I certainly didn’t want to cross him. My mistake with Rosca had been to behave as if he were the one with control. But my mission had never been about a power struggle. If allowing him to treat me as one of his minions brought the results I wanted, I didn’t care who was on top. Ultimately, I would win.
“I’d like to go over the layout of the meet point.” I didn’t want any surprises.
“You don’t have to be the one to handle this.” Donato placed a hand on my shoulder. It was a relief to know if I didn’t want to pull the trigger, he would have someone else do it.
“Yes, I do.”
This was my war. One I’d brought on innocent people by coming to New York City. Even though Donato’s enforcers were there for the purpose of killing, I wouldn’t risk someone else’s life. I had to be the one to end it. I just prayed Holly could forgive me once it was over.
* * *
“Do you have a minute?”
Holly’s lean figure was in the doorway to Muriella’s study, where I’d been poring over the features of the warehouse and surrounding area for hours.
“All of my time is yours.”
I set my notes down and gestured to the chair across the desk from me. She shook her head.
“Come with me.”
I followed her from the apartment, but instead of taking the elevator, she moved to the stairwell. Up we went until we reached the rooftop.
Dangerous Redemption: A Single Parent Forbidden Romance Novel (Paths To Love Book 4) Page 21