She shivered when the crisp evening air blew through us.
“Would you like me to retrieve your coat?” I wanted to put my arms around her to shield her from the wind. I settled on shoving my hands in my pockets.
“I’m fine, thank you.” She wandered toward the ledge and looked at the city lights. The noise of the traffic below faded into the background. The she turned abruptly, a shadow across her beautiful features. “You know what? I’m not fine.”
She threw her hands up. “I don’t always know the right thing to do. I’ve made more mistakes than I care to admit. But when it comes to you, my head tells me one thing and my heart another.”
“Then we’ll have to figure out how to get them on the same page.”
Her shoulders sagged and she laughed, but there was no joy in the sound.
She pointed at me. “You tangled my heart with yours before I realized it had happened.”
“I won’t apologize.”
“I don’t want you to,” she screamed as she pushed off the wall and marched straight into my space. “You’re everything I want and everything I can’t have wrapped up in one great big package I can’t resist.”
“Tell me why this is a problem.” I knew exactly why it was, but my dead heart stuttered back to life with her admission.
“Because Gabriel is supposed to come first.” Her voice echoed into the low hanging clouds and reverberated around us. “If I continue to do what I want, it puts him at risk.”
She adjusted her headband, slamming it back down on her head. “But you give him something I can’t. He needs you as much as I do.”
She dropped her chin to her chest in defeat.
I was at a loss for words. How could I defend myself when she only spoke the truth?
She wrapped her fingers around my wrists. “These hands have done things that should have me running away as fast as I can.” She touched each one as if they held the answers she was looking for. “Instead they pull me toward you.”
I stood still and savored her delicate touch on my skin. “They aren’t finished yet.”
I didn’t want to tell her what lay ahead in the coming days. I’d spare her the details, but I wouldn’t lie. She needed to know exactly whose arms held her.
I expected her to release me and wouldn’t blame her if she did. The despicable side of me was always there, even when it lay dormant.
Holly slowly turned my hand over and brought it to her lips. The anger and frustration and indecision were gone from her eyes when she leaned forward and kissed the center of my palm.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Holly
“You can do this.”
My fingers were poised on the keyboard of the laptop. The login screen to EXODUS sat open, just waiting for me to enter Drew’s details.
I glanced at the slightly ajar door to his office. Anyone passing by shouldn’t be able to see me, and he was slated to be in a meeting for the next two hours. It was now or never.
I could’ve done this from my own computer, but feared with his tech savvy he’d have traced it back to me. While he could still check the time stamps of his logins, I was banking that he wouldn’t. And desperately praying I wouldn’t be caught.
If I thought about the consequences, I wouldn’t go through with this, but I had to. For Mulaney and Easton.
I typed in the details and hit enter. Too late to turn back now. As I waited for the program to load, my mind drifted to Carlos. When he found out I’d left the apartment building without telling him, he’d be furious. No one could know I was here. Not even him.
I navigated to the date range of transactions of figures I’d memorized. In seconds, I discovered Drew’s numbers were vastly different from Easton’s or Mulaney’s. I toggled through the screens and discovered a dropdown menu that wasn’t present in any other version I’d seen. There were four headings consisting of Easton, Mulaney, Harris, and Drew’s names.
I clicked on Easton’s name. It aligned with what I’d seen in his program. Mulaney’s was no different, and Mr. Carter’s looked worse than either of them.
Voices came from down the hall. I paused and tried to see through the crack of the door. The talking grew louder, but I didn’t recognize anyone.
I waited until the sound retreated before I poked around further. There was a log with time stamps every time the program had been updated. I needed to see if those matched Mulaney’s but didn’t have access to it here.
My phone rang.
I jumped, scattering a few papers to the floor. As I silenced the ringer, I picked them up, but had no idea if they were in any particular order.
Crud. Carlos.
I needed to answer so he didn’t worry, but couldn’t. The screen went dark, but immediately began to ring again. I switched the ringer to silent and held my breath as I listened for any noise outside.
Get out of here.
I slammed the laptop shut, scurried to the door, and peeked into the hallway. A retreating back was all I saw. When it disappeared, I popped out and made it to the elevator in record time.
My phone vibrated in my hand incessantly. As soon as I made it downstairs to the lobby, I’d call him back.
The elevator doors slid apart.
“I thought you were working from home today, sugar.”
Dread filled me as Drew slithered out. How would he know that anyway?
“I needed to retrieve something for Miss Jacobs.”
He scowled at the mention of Mulaney. “Anything I should know about?”
“I don’t think so,” I squeaked. How pathetic was I in this man’s presence? I longed for the day I could stand up to him. Maybe that day was sooner than I thought.
He leaned so close his breath was against my cheek. “I’m watching you. And the company you keep.”
The doors closed before I could catch them, and he disappeared toward his office.
* * *
“Please don’t start.”
I threw my tote bag on the kitchen counter. The conversation I’d had with Carlos on my way home had not been pleasant.
“I’ve explained the situation to you. You disrespected our trust.” He was right behind me as I grabbed my laptop from the coffee table.
“I won’t live under lock and key. And I have to go upstairs to see Miss Jacobs.” I tucked the computer under my arm and swiped my keys from the island.
“I’m not asking you to, but you don’t understand these people and what they’re capable of.”
“You made it very clear exactly what they can do.” I threw open the door. “I’m not arguing about this anymore.”
“I’m begging you not to do that again.” He followed me as I tromped up the stairs. I’d thought burning this energy would settle my irritation with Carlos and the anxiety about what I had to tell Mulaney. Instead, I stopped after a few flights, out of breath.
Carlos wasn’t affected at all.
I leaned against the railing and clutched the laptop to my chest. He remained a few steps below, looking at me like I’d hurt him.
“It was important. I couldn’t wait for you. In hindsight, maybe that wasn’t the best judgment call, but I’m fine.” I took air into my lungs and blew it out. “And I’m sorry.”
“How would you have felt if Gabriel had left without telling you and then you couldn’t reach him?”
“I’m not your child,” I said matter-of-factly.
“You’re my life.”
I closed my eyes and let go of my building animosity. How could I possibly stay mad at that?
I offered him my hand. When he took it, I let his warmth spread through me. This was what a united front felt like. It wasn’t pretty or easy. And we’d both learn along the way how to be less selfish and think of the other person. I had further to go with that than he did, but I was determined to get there.
* * *
Easton and Mulaney took the news of my discovery about as I expected. Not well. Their faces. The heartbreak. The fury. I knew exa
ctly what Easton must be experiencing. When our own flesh and blood willingly sabotaged the safety we thought was ours was devastating. He’s too good a man to have this happen to him.
“Does Drew have any idea you did this?” Mulaney asked.
I fidgeted with the cross around my neck. “I-I don’t think so.”
“Ugh. I can’t even stand the thought of being in the same building as him, let alone related.” Mulaney made a disgusted face.
“He’s here? In this building?” No. No. No. No. No.
“He and the Carters moved in a few days ago,” Mulaney said.
The room spun as I tried to take in air. “I have to go.”
I held on to the wall as I stumbled back to the kitchen. Carlos immediately stood and rushed to steady me.
“Beauty?” He searched my face. His was fraught with worry.
I let him support me. So, so tired of it all. “It’s never going to end.” My voice was barely audible as I spoke to myself.
“What?” Carlos clasped my shoulders and looked as desperate as I felt.
“I don’t think I can stay here.”
Chapter Forty-Nine
Carlos
“Did something happen with your brother?”
I’d never seen Holly this upset, and she’d had many a reason to be since I’d known her.
She yanked clothes off the hangers in her closet and stuffed them into a suitcase. “It’s always too good to be true. Just when I get comfortable it all goes to hell.”
“That’ll be a dollar, Mama.”
She wheeled around and dropped to her knees, holding out her arms for Gabriel. “I’m sorry, baby,” she whispered into his hair.
“It’s okay. H-E-double hockey sticks isn’t the worst.”
She snorted, still hugging him tightly.
“Why’re you packing?” The innocence of this boy was something I wished he could keep forever. “Do we have to leave?” he asked in alarm.
Holly sat on the floor and pulled him onto her lap. He was almost too big to fit. She stroked his back, and he rested his head against her shoulder.
I was an intruder on a private moment, yet I couldn’t bring myself to leave.
Gabriel motioned for me to join them on the floor. I looked at Holly for permission, and she gave a slight nod. I sat in front of them, my knee touching hers.
“I wanted to have a party with money from the jar, but if we need it so we can stay, you can have it.”
Holly let out a choked noise as a sheen covered her eyes. She kissed the top of his head. “You can keep the money,” she said hoarsely.
He was already so generous. She’d done an incredible job shaping him into the man he was becoming.
“Are we going on a trip? Like in a plane?” He perked up and looked at me in excitement.
“One day,” I said, vowing to keep my promise.
His mouth turned down. “Is that man going to come after us?”
Inwardly, I cursed Nicanor Rosca straight to hell. He had caused Gabriel to be afraid, and I couldn't have that.
“No,” I promised in a tone that would leave no room for him to question it. That one word seemed to settle him, and he relaxed against her. “Never worry about that.”
“I don't want him to hurt Mama,” he mumbled.
“He won't.”
I hated he'd had even a second of anxiety over the trouble surrounding me, knowing it would happen again.
“Okay,” Gabriel said, satisfied. “I'm glad you're here, Mr. Carlos. Will you stay every night?”
My eyes met Holly's, something passing between us. We hadn’t exactly been discreet, but I didn’t think he’d been aware I’d slept over.
“I—”
“He is,” Holly said.
My brows shot up. She hadn’t put an end on that sentence. We hadn’t had a chance to discuss she’d kissed my palm back, but I didn’t think it had been the green light to move in.
Gabriel brightened. “You mean it?”
“I mean it,” she said.
“I knew you didn't have to go. You didn't want to leave us, did you?” he asked me.
“I'm not going anywhere.” A smile lit his face and if I weren't sitting, I'd have been knocked down to my ass.
“Because you love Mama?”
“Because I love both of you.”
“Mr. Carlos?”
“Yeah, Gabriel?”
“Can you be my daddy?”
Holly gasped at the same time my heart stopped. I gripped my shins so hard I was certain it would leave imprints. “I'd like that very much.”
“I gotta go brush my teeth and get ready for you to read my story.” He zoomed out of the room like he hadn’t just turned my whole world upside down.
“You don’t have to—”
“Are you okay with that?” I asked, feeling uncertain. I wanted it more than I’d realized, but if Holly wasn’t on board, I’d have to wait until she was.
“We haven’t even figured us out yet,” she said, her mouth twisting with uncertainty.
“I belong to you both. What more is there to sort?”
“It’s twenty-four seven, Carlos. I don’t want to force that on you.” She fiddled with the hem of her jeans. “This is crazy.”
“I want him to be mine, legally.”
She stared at me as if I’d said words she’d been waiting to hear for almost six years but was afraid to believe.
“Please don’t break his heart.”
“I wouldn’t dare.” She clutched a sweater she’d yet to put in the suitcase. “Why did you say you can’t stay here?”
She balled her fist around the material, raw fear mixed with a lot of anger in her green depths. “I just wanted to get away from my mistakes, but they keep following me.”
I pried the sweater from her fingers and clasped her cold hand in mine. Determination to fix whatever problems she had filled me with a renewed energy. “I know a lot about that, but together we can face anything.”
She blinked at me. Her confusion morphed into gratitude. “Easton’s brother, Drew, has been bothering me at work. Because of him, I lied to Easton and nearly ruined his relationship with Mulaney. Now he lives in this building. I can’t—” The words tumbled out. I couldn’t imagine Beauty lying about anything, but if she had, it was for a damn good reason. Of that, I was certain.
“Why is he harassing you? I’ll put a stop to it.” No one was going to bother her. Not as long as I drew breath.
“Carlos—”
“Mama. Daddy.” My heart lurched at the powerful word. I squeezed Holly’s fingers. “I’m ready for my story now.” Gabriel stood in the doorway with a hint of impatience.
I got to my feet and helped Holly to hers. With her hand in one of mine and Gabriel’s in the other, I soaked in the moment.
If I didn’t make it, at least I had this fragment of time. It would make an eternity in hell easier to bear, and I’d hold on to it until I took my last breath.
Chapter Fifty
Holly
He wasn’t there when I woke up.
Had he changed his mind? Last night had been . . . a lot. Maybe out of the heat of the moment, he’d realized he wasn’t ready to be a father.
The cup of coffee in my hands had gotten cold because I’d been trying to puzzle things out for so long. When the doorbell rang, disappointment washed over me. Carlos was long past announcing his arrivals. He came and went as if this were his home.
“We’re here to take Gabriel to school.” Vivian breezed in without invitation.
Daniel was a little less bulldozer, but followed her nonetheless.
“Where’s Car—um, Muriella?”
Vivian noticed my slip and grinned. “Not available.”
“Miss Vivian. Mr. Daniel.” Gabriel flew in, soaring a toy plane above his head with one hand and holding his cowboy in the other.
“Hey there, little man. Ready to go to school?” she asked.
He looked past them, and a line creased his
forehead, but he didn’t ask the question I knew was on his mind. The same one I’d almost asked only seconds ago.
Daniel fist bumped him after he grabbed his backpack and slipped it on his shoulders. Vivian practically shoved them out the door.
“I could use a spa day. What about you?” She didn’t wait for me to answer. Like a tornado, she whirled around until she had my phone, purse, and keys. Then she grabbed my elbow, locked my door, and steered me into the elevator lobby.
“I don’t have on any shoes.”
She shrugged. “You don’t need them anyway.”
“I have to work.”
“I talked to your boss. We even have a chauffeur.” She playfully nudged Daniel, who was busy chatting with Gabriel.
They both stopped talking and looked at my socked feet.
“We’ll hold the elevator while you get your shoes.”
* * *
I checked my watch.
“We’re going to be late to pick up Gabriel.”
Vivian tossed a shopping bag onto her bed. “Carlos has it covered.”
A tiny flare of jealousy snaked through me. “You’ve talked to him?”
“No. Muriella told me.”
I was somewhat relieved, but his disappearance still stung. He’d been radio silent all day. As silly as it was, I missed him.
“Did you two have fun today?” Like she’d heard her name mentioned, Muriella appeared.
“The best time. Look at what we got.” Vivian gestured toward the slew of bags on the bed.
“Are you feeling better?” I asked. She hadn’t joined us because she was under the weather.
Her cheeks turned pink. “Yes, thank you.”
“This is for you.” Vivian slung a crimson silk dress to her. “Holly, show M yours.”
“I—”
She opened a garment bag before I could finish my protest. Not only had we had a spa day, she’d insisted we go to a boutique where we’d tried on all kinds of clothes. I hadn’t purchased anything.
Dangerous Redemption: A Single Parent Forbidden Romance Novel (Paths To Love Book 4) Page 22