Song of the Spring Moon Waning

by E. E. Ottoman

  "But if he doesn't," Wen Yu cut in, "you will never be able to come back."

  "I know." Liu Yi shook his head, chin lifting. "But if he doesn't, I will be no worse off."

  "You have a life of ease and privilege here. One your family did everything to give you." Wen Yu felt a pang in his own chest as he said it. "If you go, you will be throwing that away."

  Liu Yi had gone still, staring at him. "Come with me," he said after a minute. "Please, Wen Yu."

  "I can't." Wen Yu shook his head and crossed his arms. "I have the examination. If I pass, I will be offered a position in the palace."

  "I am asking you to be with me and go on a journey with a dragon to a place that isn't supposed to exist." Liu Yi moved forward until he was gripping the front of Wen Yu's robe.

  "I can't." It was far more painful than it should have been to say it. Wen Yu reached forward, brushing the hair from Liu Yi's face. "I'm sorry, but I can't."

  Liu Yi let go of him and took a step back. "Then … I don't know when we will see each other after tonight."

  Wen Yu stared at him as the full impact of their choices crashed down on top of him, and he reached for Liu Yi, who went willingly into his arms. Holding Liu Yi tight against him, he buried his face in Liu Yi's hair. He felt Liu Yi's arms around him, holding him just as tight. Liu Yi drew back finally, hands coming up to hold Wen Yu's face, and kissed him, softly at first and again with growing passion. Closing his eyes, Wen Yu kissed him back, pulling Liu Yi's body closer against his own. Their tongues explored each other with slow, lazy intent. Liu Yi's fingers carded through Wen Yu's hair, and he pulled Wen Yu's bottom lip into his mouth and suckled on it before letting it go.

  They pulled apart slowly and gently. Wen Yu's breathing was coming heavily, and Liu Yi's hands trembled on either side of Wen Yu's face.

  "Stay here." Liu Yi pushed Wen Yu towards the bed and darted out of the room.

  He was gone long enough to make Wen Yu nervous. "Are you all right?" he asked from where he sat on the bed when Liu Yi ducked back into the room with a cloth-covered bundle in his arms.

  "I'm fine." Liu Yi flashed him a small smile before moving over to the bed, dropped the bundle on the covers and reaching for Wen Yu, kissing him long and deep. "I want this. I want you tonight, if you agree."

  "I … Yes." Wen Yu's hands settled on Liu Yi's waist as Liu Yi straddled his lap.

  Liu Yi kissed him again, slow, thorough, his tongue dipping into Wen Yu's mouth and then out again. Wen Yu was pushed back onto the bed with a gentle hand on his shoulder after they broke apart. Liu Yi straightened and pulled off his robe, dropping it onto the floor, and then the trousers he wore underneath were shed.

  "I want to see you." He bent down and kissed Wen Yu on the mouth. "Without clothes on. Please."

  Wen Yu hesitated for a long moment, thinking about it. "Not the trousers. I'm sorry, but not that."

  Liu Yi's shoulders slumped, but he nodded. "All right."

  Wen Yu sat up and pulled his robe off. He had a moment of nerves about his bare chest, but Liu Yi leaned forward and kissed him again. Wen Yu's arms went up around Liu Yi's shoulders, pulling them together tightly. Liu Yi's skin pressed against his felt lovely, and Wen Yu loved the weight of him on top, the way Liu Yi's slight frame pushed him down into the bed.

  Liu Yi kissed across his face and down his neck. "Tell me how to touch you."

  Wen Yu covered Liu Yi's hands with his own and slid them along his shoulders. His movements were tentative at first, but, gaining confidence, he guided Liu Yi's hands down his side and along the planes of his stomach. "Do you think you can kiss me here?" he asked, and Liu Yi smiled and slid down so he could mouth across Wen Yu's stomach, kissing along the bottom of his ribcage.

  "I want you to fuck me," Liu Yi said, voice vibrating against Wen Yu's skin. Wen Yu drew in a long breath which turned into a gasp as Liu Yi nipped him. "Here," Liu Yi sat up and reached for the bundle he'd brought with him.

  The phallus was beautifully made of fine clear glass with a dark blue-green swirl running through the center, and it was quite large with a flared head and balls.

  "Here," Liu Yi knelt on the bed and bent over so his folded arms rested on the bed, his hips and ass in the air. "Take the bottle, and make sure I'm good and slicked, but I don't need much more than that."

  "Are you sure?" Wen Yu asked, and Liu Yi smiled over his shoulder at him.

  "I'm sure." He nodded at the phallus on the bed. "I use this one often."

  "All right."

  Wen Yu knelt behind Liu Yi on the bed and picked up the bottle. Liu Yi's ass was round and lush, each cheek more than what Wen Yu could hold in his hand, and he reached out to cup and squeeze. Liu Yi shivered, pushing his hips higher into Wen Yu's hands and resting his head on his arms. Wen Yu massaged each cheek, pulling them apart so he could catch a glimpse of Liu Yi's small pucker, dusted with dark hair. He squeezed them back together and then massaged again, and Liu Yi hummed a small, happy noise.

  "Rougher." Liu Yi turned his face to look back at Wen Yu, who tightened his grip on Liu Yi's rounded cheeks, forcing them apart again. He held them like that, smacked one lush cheek—not hard, but enough for Liu Yi to gasp. "Yes. Do that again."

  Wen Yu smacked the other, open-handed, movements fast so as not to give himself enough to time think about it. He hit the other cheek again, watching the vibration go through Liu Yi's ass and the way he hissed and arched his back. Wen Yu spanked him three more time in short succession, first one side, then the other, keeping the smacks sharp but not very hard. Liu Yi grunted into his arms and pushed his ass back.

  "You like that?" Wen Yu took the pinked globes into his hands, massaging them again.

  "I do." Liu Yi lifting his hips higher, and Wen Yu reached for the bottle, fumbling to get it open.

  He watched the slick, oil-like liquid trickling out, hitting Liu Yi's lower back and running into the cleft of his ass and between his legs.

  Liu Yi gasped, coming up onto his hands and knees. "It's cold."

  "I'm sorry." Wen Yu circled Liu Yi's hole with the tip of one finger, watching it clench tight before relaxing ever so slightly.

  "All right, I'm ready."

  Wen Yu picked up the long phallus; it was heavy and cold in his hand. He wondered if he should warm it up. Rubbing it between his hands, Wen Yu blew on it to try to warm it. He looked up to see Liu Yi had turned a little to watch him.

  "It was cold," he explained, and Liu Yi rolled over onto his back.

  "Here," he held out his hands to Wen Yu, who handed him the phallus. Liu Yi fisted the base of the phallus with both hands and slid the head into his mouth. Wen Yu watched, transfixed, as Liu Yi's lips closed around the tip of the hard cock, his cheeks hollowed as his mouth slid down around it, and then back up, leaving a wet shine in his wake. Breathing coming a little fast, Wen Yu watched Liu Yi bob down again, taking the cock deeper into his mouth and throat, pulling out slowly.

  Liu Yi looked up and met Wen Yu's eyes as his tongue flicked out to lick at the tip. "Warmer." Liu Yi's voice was lower and deeper than Wen Yu had ever heard, and he held out the cock to Wen Yu.

  It was indeed warmer, Wen Yu found when his fingers closed around it. Liu Yi rolled over, pushing his knees under him again, and rested his head on his arms. Wen Yu poured some of the oil into his hands and used it to coat the cock. He pressed the head lightly against Liu Yi's hole, and Liu Yi went still. Wen Yu took a deep breath, stomach fluttering. He'd never done this, had only seen pictures. He pressed more firmly and held his breath as Liu Yi's body opened up to it.

  "Slowly."

  Wen Yu looked up to see Liu Yi's fingertips had gone white where he clutched at the sheets, and a sliver of panic went through him. "Does it hurt?"

  Liu Yi let out a breath. "No, not really. You can keep going now. I just need to take it slowly."

  Wen Yu tried to keep the pressure slow and even as he pushed, amazed at how Liu Yi's body stretched and opened, squeezing and fluttering around the
length as he eased it in. "It looks amazing." Wen Yu licked dry lips and pressed another slow inch. "The way you take it, I can't believe … so beautiful."

  "It feels good." Liu Yi's face was pressed against the blankets, breathing ragged. "So good, the way it slides inside me."

  "Are you going to take it all for me?"

  A shiver went through Liu Yi, and he nodded. Wen Yu rubbed one hand across his lower back. "Good."

  His wrist was becoming tired. He shifted his grip on the cock slightly, changing the angle inside of Liu Yi, who cried out.

  "Yes! Like that, do that again."

  Wen Yu froze, trying to figure out what he'd done, and carefully pressed down with the cock. Moving back against Wen Yu, Liu Yi sucked in a sharp breath. "Hmmm, yes."

  Wen Yu pulled the cock out an inch, then thrust it back just as slow, watching the way it made Liu Yi's body arch and tremble. His own stomach was tight, pleasure coiled between his thighs. Wen Yu pressed there, feeling how swollen and stiff he was. He pulled out slowly again and pushing back in, making Liu Yi groan. Slipping his hand into his trousers, Wen Yu massaged himself.

  "So good." Liu Yi reached back, fingers closing around the base of the cock. Wen Yu sat back on his heels, watching as Liu Yi held the cock inside himself as he rolled over, spreading his legs wide.

  Wen Yu's breath hitched, and his eyes roved down Liu Yi's body as Liu Yi began worked the cock in and out with one hand and rubbed across his chest with the other. He watched as Wen Yu began to work himself inside his trousers in earnest now.

  "You're beautiful, watching you makes me want you so much." Liu Yi thrust the cock into his body hard and sharp. "I know I'm not supposed to be able to want in that way, but I do, I want you so badly. I want to see you come."

  The last few words came out as almost a whisper, and Wen Yu felt his climax hit him sharp and sudden, almost too soon. The tightness in his stomach became sudden bursts of heat between his thighs, and Wen Yu leaned forward to bury his face in Liu Yi's shoulder.

  After a moment, Liu Yi's arms came up around him, holding him close. Wen Yu pulled away just far enough to kiss Liu Yi on the lips.

  "Do something for me?" Liu Yi asked when they drew apart. "Could you take it out of me now?"

  "Of course." He pushed Liu Yi's legs further apart, and Liu Yi canted his hips up as Wen Yu eased the phallus out of him.

  "I need to clean up." Liu Yi stood slowly and picked up the phallus before moving just as slowly out of the room.

  Left alone, Wen Yu wasn't really sure what to do with himself. He cleaned off his sticky hand and pulled the more soiled blankets off the bed. Liu Yi came back into the room again, carrying a new blanket and a fresh pair of trousers over one arm. He handed Wen Yu the trousers and then turned to smooth out the blanket across the bed. Wen Yu changed as quickly as he could and watched Liu Yi wince as he climbed back into bed.

  "Are you all right?" Wen Yu hesitated, before also climbing back into the bed.

  "I'm fine." Liu Yi reached for him, pulling him close and holding him tight. "A little sore, but I like that afterwards. Something to remember it by."

  Wen Yu felt a stab of pain go through his chest at that, the reminder that this would not happen again. He pressed his face into Liu Yi's soft hair. Liu Yi smelled like herbs overlaying the smell of sweat and sex, and he was warm in Wen Yu's arms. Wen Yu could feel the rise and fall of Liu Yi's chest where they pressed together, and he found the slow, steady rhythm comforting.

  In truth, he hadn't expected to sleep that night, but eventually his eyes drifted shut and his breathing slowed to match Liu Yi's.

  Eight

  Wen Yu got up before the sky had fully lightened the next morning. Beside him, Liu Yi shifted but slept on. He dressed and bent over the bed; he smoothed Liu Yi's hair away from his face and kissed him on the cheek before turning and leaving as quietly as he could. Mei Hua snored softly from where he was wrapped up in a blanket on the floor of the main room, but he did not stir as Wen Yu let himself out into the courtyard.

  The walk back to his apartment was uneventful. The sun rose bright as he walked, the sky above him clear. It was a warm day, one of the warmest they'd had yet. All the plants around him were in bloom.

  Wen Yu let himself into his room and put the kettle on for tea, then sank down at his desk. He stared down at the piles of notes and papers about Classics, politics, and tactics without really seeing them. It was strange; he kept staring, but what he'd written on those pages still didn't make sense. Behind him, the kettle whistled. The sun was now fully up, burning off any of the morning mist that may have lingered.

  Liu Yi would be up by now. He and Mei Hua might even have left. Wen Yu's hands shook so badly, he had to put the kettle down. It took him several seconds to realize he was crying. He wanted to put his head on his desk and sob, but he forced himself to keep his head up and began shuffling through his papers despite the fact he was trembling.

  The tears dried up eventually. Wen Yu continued to flip through notes he couldn't even read until the sun was beginning to sink in the sky. Then he curled up under his blanket and slept.

  *~*~*

  The line of students at the gates of the palace was long, but not anywhere close to the hundreds Wen Yu had taken his previous examinations with. Each of them carried an ink stone and brushes, all bundled together in a little pack. The guards at the palace gate searched each bundle in turn. When the guards were satisfied, they were allowed through to the huge examination hall.

  Wen Yu waited while the guards searched his bundle before waving him through. The examination room was large and grand, he saw as he stepped through. There was a dais with an ornate canopy for the emperor himself to sit and be presented with the highest-scoring essays. Below the dais was the desk of the proctors, with rows and rows of desks stretching out across the room for the students themselves. Wen Yu chose a desk in the back and by a corner where he would not be distracted.

  There was a nervous sort of buzz around the room as the students filed in and sat at their desks. The honored scholars who acted as proctors for the examination gathered at the front of the room, looking serious and austere in their dark-colored robes and black scholar's caps. They talked in low voices among themselves.

  There was paper ready for him on the desk, and Wen Yu organized his things, mixed his ink. He stared down at the desk in front of him, ignoring everyone else. Every time he'd taken an examination, there had been a mixture of excitement and nerves at the bottom of his stomach, but today he felt nothing but a strange, melancholy calm.

  When all the students had filed in, the opening ceremonies began. Wen Yu barely heard what the honored scholars said and didn't really care that he wasn't paying attention. Soon enough, he would do what he had come here months ago to do, and then it would be over.

  The ceremonies and speeches came to an end, and everyone sat once more at their desks. Wen Yu waited, quiet and still as the proctors explained the first set of essays they would be writing. He already knew what he would write. Putting the brush against the page, he began to form the words, his strokes strong and simple. At other desks all around him, students bent over their papers, and the proctors walked up and down between the desks, watching as they worked.

  Wen Yu let it all go and concentrated only on his writing, letting everything else fall away. He would do this, and he would be the best. Right now, nothing else mattered.

  *~*~*

  "Are you nervous?" one student asked Wen Yu as they all filed out of the examination hall at the end of the last day. He was taller than Wen Yu, older and beginning to bald. Wen Yu looked up at him, at the sheen of sweat across his brow. He probably had a wife and children, probably held some official position within his province already, but he was hoping to move up to a position in the palace.

  "I thought the questions on the Classics were the hardest," the student went on, and Wen Yu tucked his hands into his sleeves and kept quiet.

  A light rain started, more of a
wet mist, making Wen Yu's robes feel damp and heavy. The sky above him was pale gray, and water dripped from the bright new leaves on the trees that lined the stone-paved streets. Turning away from the group of students still straggling out the palace gates, Wen Yu headed for his little room.

  The streets surrounding the palace were filled with large houses and flowering trees; houses of the sort he and Liu Yi had met in that second time. Wen Yu stared at them as he passed, imagining himself taking Shi Fei to live there. He would work in the palace, she would run the household, and they would adopt children together, maybe. Wen Yu would live the quiet, ordered life of a scholar on imperial pay, the life his father had worked hard for him to have.

  Stopping, Wen Yu stared at the street for a long moment. Then he turned, heading towards the far end of the city where his room was.

  Back in his own room, Wen Yu lay on the mat he'd been sleeping on and stared at the ceiling, wondering what he was going to do. In a few days, the scores would be posted, and those who had passed would discover their rank, while those who had failed would go home or try again in a few years.

  Wen Yu closed his eyes and took a long, deep breath. He thought of his family: his father, his mother, his sisters and their families. He thought of Shi Fei, smarter than anyone else he'd ever known, with her sharp tongue and practicality. There was Hao Wu with his easy smile and clever wit. His entire life, they had been his best friends. What would they say to him now?

  *~*~*

  There were only two old men in the inn drinking tea, both of their heads bent over a xianqi board. Wen Yu sighed; it was the third inn he'd stopped at, and he was beginning to think that even on horseback, he was too far behind to catch up. None of the innkeepers he'd talked to so far had seen a scholar with a long mustache traveling in the company of a young man. All the other ways Wen Yu had described Liu Yi and Mei Hua had only been met with blank stares.