The Parson's Daughters Boxed Set: Sweet and Clean Christian Romance - 4 Book Bundle

by Annie Boone

He looked around, then he asked, “Where is she now?”

  “In Heaven. With God. God gave us angels to watch over us and I believe your mother is an angel now. She’s there watching over you and covering you with her love. You can’t see her, but if you have faith, you’ll be able to feel her love, especially when you need her most.”

  Faith watched as the idea rolled around his mind. She could almost see the wheels turning as he made the connections to what she was saying. She waited patiently and then finally, she watched his eyes refocus and he stared at her before he asked, “Did my mother send you?”

  Faith sat back, stunned by the question, but wanting to give him the most honest answer that she could. Of course, she was flattered and she felt a smile creep onto her lips, but what she said was, “I don’t know, Joseph. Only your mother and God know that. I do know that I’m very happy to be here with you, but I would never speculate on the workings of the Lord,” she raised her eyebrows pointedly then and answered, “Or that of his most trusted angels.”

  Joseph smiled before he answered, “Well, I think she did. I think my daddy really needs you, even though he’s grumpy.”

  Faith felt tears come to her eyes and a lump begin to form in her throat as she answered, “Thank you Joseph. That is probably one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me.”

  He was about to turn over and snuggle up for sleep when he looked past her. Then his eyes widened with surprise.

  Faith turned to look behind her and saw Aaron standing in the doorway, wearing a smile she was sure she had never seen before. He looked proud, and oddly content. At first, she could have sworn he was only looking at his son, but then she realized that he was taking them both in. He had to be noticing the bond she had with his son.

  “Am I interrupting anything?” he asked kindly.

  Joseph shook his head, “No, Daddy.”

  “Oh, not at all,” Faith answered, quickly getting to her feet, “Joseph was just about to go to sleep.”

  Aaron nodded, “That’s good. Sleep well, son. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Faith smiled at him and moved past them to give father and son some privacy. On her way out, however, he touched her shoulder lightly and said, “Can I talk to you before you go?”

  A sense of fear barreled through her heart as she nodded and replied, “Of course.” She looked back at the boy and smiled. “Sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs bit, Joseph.”

  As she left the tiny bedroom, she couldn’t imagine what she had done to bother Aaron. That was the only explanation she could come up with for him wanting to speak to her. The past few weeks had seen no real improvement in their relationship. They existed in sort of the same world, but they didn’t speak of anything of substance.

  He didn’t actually look angry, so she was curious about what he had to say. But still nervous. Faith walked quickly to the main room in the house and waited for Aaron to return from Joseph’s room.

  “I’m sorry for keeping him up late, Aaron,” she said as he entered the room. “Um, he seemed like he had something on his mind and I thought that was worth a few extra minutes before he went to sleep.”

  For once, Aaron genuinely smiled before he waved his hand and answered, “No. Please. That’s not a problem at all.”

  Faith looked at him with relief, but she was still puzzled. “Good, well. I’m glad you’re not angry about that. I understand how important a good night’s sleep is for a child.”

  “Would you like a cup of tea?” he asked, totally ignoring her response.

  She nodded, and then followed him to the kitchen.

  He put water on to boil and prepared two cups. He eventually looked up at her after a few moments of fiddling with the process of making tea.

  “Do you know that this was the first time anyone has been able to get Joseph to talk about his mother? I’ve tried to get him to tell me how he feels but he’s never been interested. His grandparents have tried to make sure he remembers Mary, but he won’t talk to them about her. You’re the only one he’s been able to talk to.”

  Faith shrugged, “He seemed as though he just didn’t want to disappoint you that he doesn’t really remember her. Children see far more than adults ever give them credit for and I think he feels like he’s letting you all down because he doesn’t remember.”

  “But he’s my son,” Aaron replied and Faith could sense a pang of disappointment flowing through him.

  “Yes, that’s true. You’ve got many concerns right now, so it makes sense that maybe he sees that.” She paused, wanting to share her observation, but not wanting to upset Aaron, so she cut off short from speaking her mind.

  Aaron stared at her, however, for quite a long time before he replied, “Yes, what is it? Say what’s on your mind.”

  Faith narrowed her eyes slightly and bent her head, genuinely confused, “I don’t understand what you mean.” she replied.

  “You want to say something. It’s written all over your face. I might not be a master at reading minds, but I can definitely tell when someone else has more to say. I do have enough experience to know that sometimes a woman will want to say something without upsetting the other person and the look on your face is one I recognize.”

  “Well,” Faith answered, surprised by his observation. Her initial reaction was to bow her head, but she reminded herself of her vow to try to help fix the relationships in this family. So she held her head high and looked him squarely.

  “Please, go on.” His eyes gleamed with sincerity so she took the chance to connect with him through his desire to understand his son.

  Faith smiled, noticing once again just how handsome he was, especially when he wasn’t trying to hide his emotions behind a blank scowl of generalized disapproval. Her heart did it’s typical flip and she took a deep breath. That gave her a moment to get her thoughts together and then she nodded. “All right. If I might be so bold-”

  “Yes. Please, be bold,” he interrupted.

  Faith wondered if he was trying to lighten the mood or be rudely sarcastic. Instead of falling into the trap of worrying about which way he meant it, she didn’t even acknowledge the comment. Instead, she just started sharing her thoughts. “I think that you have hardened yourself. Even to your children. Joseph is old enough to sense your emotions. He can feel you want him to remember his mother and he doesn’t understand enough to know that you won’t be mad at him.”

  She stopped for a moment to organize the rest of her thoughts. He nodded for her to continue.

  “You told me when we first met in person that you feel lost. Your son can sense that. He doesn’t want to burden you with his own feelings, especially since he feels so bad that he can’t remember something he thinks he should. All the adults keep asking him if he remembers, so he thinks he’s doing something wrong.”

  He nodded, “I see.” He looked at the ceiling and crossed his arms across his chest. Then his toe began to tap lightly on the wood floor.

  He appeared to be in thought rather than annoyed. Faith was thankful that he seemed to take what she said in the way she meant it, instead of trying to poke holes in her thoughts on the condition of his family.

  Anticipation built inside her as she studied his face. His expression went from mildly surprised to disappointed. She knew the moment it all came together for him. For the first time since she arrived in San Jose, she felt she was helping this little family heal.

  He sighed after a long amount of careful consideration and answered, “I guess I haven’t been available to them like I should have been. I shut down when Mary died and depended on others to do the important part of parenting for me.”

  Faith sighed before she replied genuinely, “Well, I believe you’re doing the best you can. We all can learn to get better every day.”

  At first, he stared her intensely, as though he intended to rebuke her before he replied, “Thank you, Faith. I appreciate that much more than I can express.”

  She nodded before the two of them g
rew silent. Then, after a moment, she looked up at him and asked, “Aaron, do you want to walk me to the cottage?”

  All the while, she was hoping that he would actually take her up on the idea, but didn’t believe he would accept. It seemed to take forever to receive his answer.

  “I would like that very much.”

  Faith and Aaron walked slowly across the property to the guest cottage where she was staying. They made small talk for a while. Being with him right then was easy. Not tense and uncomfortable as it had been so often before.

  Faith tried to think of something more substantial to say, but they were still on shaky ground. She didn’t want to upset him, since this was the first time they had been alone since their drive from the train station. She liked the feeling she had when she was with him now and she didn’t want the mood to be ruined. Aaron seemed to also be enjoying himself, which was especially rare.

  Just as Faith was getting more comfortable, Aaron stopped short and turned towards her.

  Faith felt a familiar flutter in her stomach, brought on by the look he shot her. Even in the dim moonlight, he was the most handsome man she had ever seen. Her face felt like it was on fire and she hoped that the near darkness would hide her flushed expression.

  He reached out and took her hand. She thought her heart would beat out of her chest. However, when he didn’t say anything, he just looked at her. She finally asked, “Is everything okay?”

  He smiled easily and replied, “Yes. Everything is fine. Good, in fact. My children seem happy and well-adjusted and I’m so grateful for that. I may have been a lousy father recently, but I only want the best for them. I have determination to improve and I’m also grateful for that.” His eyes sparkled as he added, “I have even had a little bit peace, which I have not felt in quite some time.”

  Feeling a sense of relief herself, Faith beamed at him and answered, “I’m so happy to hear this. You deserve some peace.”

  He nodded, “I think you’re to thank for this turn around. I appreciate all you’ve done for Joseph and Sally. And for me. I have come to admire your unyielding trust in God. You may not realize it, but it’s been encouragement for me.”

  She wasn’t sure how to respond, so she simply stated the obvious. “You have wonderful children and I’ve come to love them very much.”

  “I can see that and it warms my heart.” They exchanged shy glances, and started to walk again. “With all of that in mind, I do have a bit of a confession to make,” he said quietly.

  Faith stopped abruptly and stared at him. “What’s the matter?”

  “I have been difficult to be around. I’ve treated you badly.” He slightly rolled his eyes before he added, “I’ve expected you to deal with Martha and Sam almost on your own when I should have put a stop to their behavior once and for all. The effort I gave was weak at best and then I just turned my head to it from there forward.”

  “Make no mistake, they’ve been difficult. I don’t think they’re bad people. Possibly they’re afraid of losing touch with Joseph and Sally,” she replied honestly.

  “That may be, but it’s still a mess. I know how rough they have been on you. But despite all of that, I’ve noticed how you focus on the children and how you are devoted to making things run smoothly at home. You’ve done everything you’ve been asked to do with efficiency and grace. I admire you greatly for it. And I thank you. From the bottom of my heart.”

  Slightly nervous to find out exactly what kind of confession all of these compliments were leading to, she nodded hesitantly. She was hoping he would notice more about her than how she cared for his children and his house, but at least he’d noticed something.

  “So, you should know that I never meant to fall in love. Actually, I was counting on you to be the kind of woman I wouldn’t fall in love with.”

  Stepping back, Faith stared at him, as the hurt that she was feeling suddenly became apparent on her face. She stared at him closely and squinted her eyes, trying to make sense of everything that she was feeling.

  Even though she had suspected his motives were less than honest, hearing him say it out loud was a blow. The facts of her decision struck her in a way that she hadn’t expected. She was devastated.

  He never did want a true marriage, Faith thought with panic, he just wanted a nanny and a housekeeper.

  Now having gotten the hardest part out, he continued, oblivious to Faith’s reaction to his confession. “In addition to being a woman of faith, you are absolutely stunning. I’m captivated by your beauty. Any man would be lucky to have your hand in marriage and I have come to the conclusion that I have been a fool.”

  He gazed at her seriously and added, “When I heard how you handled Joseph tonight, I realized that you’ve made yourself available to me in the same way and I refused you. You comforted him far better than I would have known how to. You did it selflessly showing him your faith as a shining light for him to see. I realized then and there that that I have been going about this whole arrangement all wrong.” He stepped towards her, but only figured out that she was upset when she stepped back away from him.

  He looked at her with a confused expression and asked, “Oh, Faith. What’s wrong? What have I done?”

  “I can’t believe you’re so dense that you wouldn’t expect me to be upset with this. So you like it that I’m good with your children and your house. You admire the way I’ve put up with your in-laws who have treated me so horribly. You think these are the kind of compliments that are going to make it easier to hear that you never intended to be a true husband to me?”

  “I’m very sorry I misled you, but what I was just trying to say is that I’ve been wrong. Didn’t you hear me say that I think you’re a beautiful woman? I do think that, you know. I didn’t expect it at all. Oh, what a mess I’m making of this,” he groaned.

  “I have no idea what you’re sorry for, Aaron. I also have no idea what you’re asking of me. It’s impossible for me to accept an apology that I don’t even understand. And you think I’m pretty. Great. Thank you.”

  Still, Aaron looked confused, “Please!” He exclaimed as Faith backed away from him again, “I never meant to hurt you. I’m sorry for how I’ve neglected you since you arrived. I’m sorry that I allowed Martha and Sam to treat you so poorly. But most of all, I’m sorry that I brought you here under false pretenses.”

  He exhaled loudly as he’d said so much so fast without taking a breath.

  Faith stood quietly, still apparently unmoved by his attempts to apologize properly. Though there was only moonlight all around them he saw that her eyes never left his.

  When she finally spoke, her voice shook with emotion. “Aaron, I suspected that you only needed a caretaker, but I didn’t want to really believe it. I’m so deeply hurt. I’m embarrassed that I could be fooled so easily just because you’re a handsome man who seemed to need me. It’s kind of you to finally tell the truth even if it hurts. I need some time.”

  With that, Faith walked away. Aaron didn’t know what to do. He called to her, but she didn’t turn around.

  She entered the charming little cottage and looked around. It had been her home for long enough for her to become attached to its simple comforts.

  In the small bedroom she changed into her night dress and wrapped in a blanket to soothe her broken heart. She knew that she would have to write her family to tell them she was coming home, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it just yet. Tomorrow. She would do that tomorrow.

  She pulled out her latest journal and opened it to the next blank page. She thought for a minute and started writing before the tears came.

  Tonight I found out the truth. I’d suspected all along, but I didn’t want to admit it. Why did it have to go this way? Why did he do this? Why did I fall for it? Was it his handsome face or was I just looking for a way out of Sweetwater Creek?

  I can’t stay. As much as I want to, it will be too painful to be here. It’s possible that Aaron will forbid the Bentons to mistreat me a
gain, but that’s not the main source of my sadness.

  I did fall in love. Probably with the man I want Aaron to be and the man I think he is capable of being. But he’s not those men. At least not right now. He may never be. Even if I could accept him as he is, he doesn’t want me. Tonight he made it clear that love isn’t an option for him. I’ve come to believe that I’m worth more than this. I don’t have to settle for someone who doesn’t want to love me.

  When I came here, I knew that I’d have to make a decision one day. That day is today. I’m choosing to be true to myself and not settle to be taken advantage of. It would be torture to love him more every day when he will never feel the same.

  I will decide in the next day or so where I will go from here. If I return to Sweetwater Creek, I’ll feel defeated. I want to seek a happy life. My options are many and that is encouraging. Teachers are needed everywhere, so yes. I have options.

  Faith had closed her diary and was putting it away when she heard a knock on the door. She wondered who would be there. She wiped her eyes and hoped there was nothing wrong with Sally or Joseph.

  When she pulled the door open, Aaron was standing there with his hat in his hands. He looked depressed and sad but she was barely able to take that detail in.

  “What are you doing here?” she yelled. She was surprised at her own aggression, but he seemed truly taken aback.

  “I don’t mean to bother you, Faith, but I couldn’t leave things the way we did. I still had more I wanted to say to you tonight.”

  “It’s highly improper for you to be here, Aaron. We’re alone and I’m only wearing bed clothes. We’re not married, so you’ll need to leave. Anything you want to say can wait until tomorrow.”

  “It can’t wait and it will only take a few minutes,” he reasoned.

  “I won’t allow my name to be sullied by having a man alone in my sleeping quarters.”

  “There’s nobody around to even see it, Faith. Just give me a minute. Please.”

  “There certainly are people who can see it. Martha and Sam already think I’m a strumpet. No matter what is going on in here, they will no doubt think the worst. I won’t let you put me in that kind of position. Please leave.”