by Annie Boone
“Hope? Are you here?”
She heard Charity’s voice and a quick knock on her door. She almost didn’t answer, but knew she’d be found out if she ignored her sister.
“Yes, I’m here.”
“Oh, good. Did you get your work done? It looks like you’ve finished,” she said.
“Um, yes. I suppose I am done,” said Hope.
“What’s wrong? You don’t sound like yourself,” said Charity. She stepped into the room and sat on the bed next to her sister.
“Well, I was keeping this a secret, but now I need to tell someone. Andrew called on me this afternoon. We took a drive out to the meadow and had a picnic.”
“That sounds wonderful. And very romantic,” Charity giggled and gave her sister a little playful shove. “Was it fun?”
“It started out perfectly. Now, I’m not sure he’s my type. I may have been mistaken about the possibility of a match between us.”
“Oh? Why is that?”
Hope thought for a moment and decided to tell the truth. Charity may be able to help her. If not, it would still be a comfort to tell someone who cares about her what a disappointment the day had been.
“Well, he’s concerned about my church attendance record. Can you believe that? After Mama fussed and complained that he didn’t go to our church it turns out he’s a very religious man. And he said he couldn’t be involved with a woman who wasn’t serious about her faith.”
“At least he was honest and stood up for his beliefs right up front,” Charity responded. “It would have been mean to not be honest about something like that.”
“So now you support him and not me, your own sister?”
“It’s not that, Hope. I think it’s good that you know he has principles and he takes them seriously. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know if anything I do will matter.”
“Sure it will. If it doesn’t matter in this relationship, it will matter in your own life. That’s the important thing. From the sound of it, that’s what he was saying to you.”
Charity’s voice was soothing and loving. Not accusatory or callous like she had expected. She probably always thought too harshly of Charity’s steadfast love of the Lord.
“I know I can’t fake a level of faith just to get him to court me. But I truly don’t hear the voice of God like you and Faith do. And Mama. It’s all so easy for y’all.”
“You think it’s always easy? It’s not. I have doubts sometimes. I think all people do when we’re called to live our lives with faith,” said Charity. “I’m sure Mama has had doubts. Just think of what she’s been through and she praises God in everything she does.”
“How, though? I don’t understand.”
“It’s a choice, Hope. Nothing more. Faith is believing in something you can’t see. But God makes it easier if we’ll use what He’s given us.”
“What has He given us?”
“The Bible is one thing. Every word in it is inspired by God. It uses stories and examples to help us believe what we can’t see. These same stories teach us what to do when we need help.”
“What else?”
“He puts people in our lives to support us and point us in the direction of God. Possibly, Andrew is one of those people for you.”
Hope thought for a moment, as if letting some of Charity’s words sink in. “So explain about the choice.”
“I believe that it’s a choice to have faith because, well, it’s not always easy to hear God. It’s likely there won’t be a bolt of lightning or a clap of thunder to make you pay attention. If you just decide that you’re going to believe, as you learn more and seek more your faith will grow. You’ll also make a choice to not only believe, but to seek and learn,” said Charity.
Hope raised her eyebrows in a show of confusion and maybe a challenge. Charity continued.
“So you’ll agree, with yourself and with God, that you believe in Him. You’ve told me you already believe in God. So that part’s done for you,” Charity smiled. “Then you start adding in the pieces to support your belief. Reading your Bible, talking to others who believe, hearing God’s word on Sundays, and praying. All these things together help you strengthen your faith and start living in God’s will.”
“You’re telling me that once I start putting some effort into believing, it will get clearer?”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”
“I don’t think I ever heard it that way before. I expected to hear God talking to me the same way I hear people. I’ve never figured it out. I think this is a start for me. Thank you, Charity.”
Hope got up to hug her sister tightly. They embraced for a moment until Hope pulled back to look her sister in the eyes. “Please don’t tell Mama about this.”
About two weeks after Hope’s Sunday afternoon disappointing date with Andrew, she needed to visit Frank about a problem with some fabric. There had been little discussion about the possibility of the expansion of her business into patterns, but she expected that to be brought up while she was there.
She was nervous about seeing Andrew. She didn’t know if he would be there or not, and she had no idea what to expect.
She arrived at their house and Nannette was at the door before she even rang the bell.
“Come in, come in! We’ve much to discuss. I won’t tell Frank you’re here right away,” she smiled in that conspiratorial way that had come to be her trademark for Hope.
“And what is there to discuss?”
“You and Andrew, of course,” Nannette said. Pointing her finger at Hope like she’d done something wrong.
“Are you going to fuss at me, Nannette?” Hope asked. She tried to sound like she was joking, but she really didn’t think she could take any more scolding. She’d rebuked herself enough over the past two weeks.
“Never! I just want to make sure you’re all right. I actually haven’t seen Andrew that much lately, but when he’s been here he’s been as morose as an undertaker,” Nannette replied.
“So he’s not here today?”
“No, not today.”
The two women had a cup of tea and Hope filled her in on the basics of her argument with Andrew. “He was quite adamant that he would never fall in love with a woman who wasn’t sincere in her faith. He told me he didn’t grow up in church as a child that he came to God when he was in college. Do you know anything about that?”
“As a matter of fact, I do. Andrew met a woman while he was in Chicago in school. She worked in the dining hall or something like that, I believe. She invited him to go to church with her. He did out of curiosity and the desire to get to know her better. He was in awe of her strong devotion to God and the church. She taught him how to claim it for himself.”
“That’s a sweet story. Why didn’t he marry her?”
“He knew he would come back to California and she didn’t want to leave her family in Illinois. So, they parted ways,” answered Nannette.
“That fills in some details, though it may not matter if I can’t talk to him. I think he misunderstood. He didn’t really give me a chance to explain and I wasn’t prepared to do it well. I think if we could talk about it a little more, he would understand where I am.”
“I’m sure you’re right. I believe that time will come. He cares for you, there’s no doubt about that. Don’t give up on him.”
“If you believe he cares, then I won’t give up,” said Hope with the deepest conviction she’s ever felt about anything.
“I’ve been talking to my sister and reading my Bible. I think Andrew may have pushed me into figuring out how to embrace my faith.”
“Oh, Hope. I’m so happy to hear that. Then no matter what happens with Andrew, your time with him will definitely not be wasted.”
Just then Frank walked into the room. “Hope, hello. I thought you may have decided not to come. I wasn’t aware you’d been delayed by my nosey wife,” he chuckled.
“Now, Frank, I’m just making sure things
are well with Hope. That’s all.” She winked at Hope and stood. “I’ll leave you to two to your business.”
Hope looked up at Frank and he was shaking his head in mock distress. “She’s quite a woman. I’m besotted with her.”
“You should be. She’s a prize and you’re a lucky man. Now what about this new cotton? I want to get it consistently with no flaws. How do we do that?”
After her meeting with Frank, Hope went back to work and made it a point to submerge herself almost entirely into her work. The good thing was, there was plenty of work to be done. When she concentrated very hard, she could push the thoughts of Andrew almost completely out of her mind.
When she wasn’t working, not thinking about Andrew was much more difficult. Actually, it was close to impossible. She felt obsessed with him. That was almost frightening to her.
She had started reading her Bible every day after she talked to Charity. She had a book of devotions she’d never used that her mother had given her a few years before and that was where she was starting. She had taken Charity’s advice and opened up her heart and her mind to the Word of God.
Hope knew she was making progress. She felt differently and she’d happily been to Sunday services both weeks since that fateful Sunday afternoon she spent with Andrew. Her family could see the change in her, too.
One night before they retired for the evening, Hope was in the sitting room with her mother and her sister. They were all reading in the cozy room enjoying the tranquility of the last night of the weekend.
“So, Hope, are you prepared for your week? I’ve noticed lately that you haven’t been spending so much time on Sundays working on business for the shop,” said her mother.
“Yes, I’m ready. It’s true I’ve been reserving The Lord’s Day for church and family,”
replied Hope.
“The change is obvious and welcome,” answered her mother. “But is it affecting the business negatively?”
“Not at all. Actually, The Gilded Goose is doing very well. Far better than I’d expected at this point. Since I know I won’t have Sunday to work, I’m more efficient during the week. It’s working out nicely and I’m very happy with the change.”
Charity looked up from her book with a crooked grin. “So you don’t miss staring at mountains of paperwork on Sunday when you’d rather be with people you love?”
Hope laughed. “Not one bit. I much prefer things the way they were today.”
Then she caught her sister’s eye. “Thank you,” she spoke silently when her mother wasn’t looking.
Charity simply nodded and smiled back. Hope felt close to her sister and to God in that peaceful, comfortable moment.
While Hope dreamed about having Andrew in her life as more than a business consultant, she saw him fairly often. After her meeting with Frank the week after Andrew called things off with her, he started attending their meetings.
This made the whole thing more difficult for Hope. Her longing was sometimes more than she could bear. She felt excited to see him and she always took care to look her best on those days. She also felt regret. She was changing, mainly because of him, and he couldn’t really see it. She wished she had already been the person she was evolving to when they’d met. If so, maybe she wouldn’t be pining for a man who may never see her the way she wanted him to.
“Hello? Hello? Hope, are you here?”
Hope had been lost in thought and didn’t even hear the bell. She was the only one on the shop today and it was almost time to shut down for the day. But she’d know that voice anywhere.
“Yes, I’ll be right there!” Hope replied.
Before she rushed to the front, she stopped at the mirror in the back and checked her appearance. She fluffed her hair, pinched her cheeks, and turned to go see the man she was desperately in love with.
When she walked into the shop, he was standing with his back to the room looking out to the street from the window. She loved the strength in his broad shoulders. He had a sense of style that most men didn’t possess and she loved his dapper suits.
“Hi Andrew. What brings you in tonight?”
He turned when he heard her voice and smiled. It was a genuine smile that said he was glad to see her. His eyes sparkled and she felt her heart flip. There was something in the way he looked at her that told her there was still a chance for them. He still had feelings for her. She could see it!
“Oh, I just wanted to bring this contract by for you to read through. It’s definitely boring reading, but you need to know what it says before you sign it,” he said. “I want to make sure you agree with the details of our partnership.”
“I’ve talked with Aaron about it and he agrees that a partnership for the dress patterns is a great idea. He supports it completely. He’ll want to see the contract, though, so I’m glad I’ll have a copy to show him.”
“Well, I’m glad he supports the idea.”
“All right. Thanks for bringing it. You could have sent it by messenger. I didn’t need you to deliver it yourself,” she said.
He looked perplexed for a moment and added, “I was in the neighborhood, so it was no trouble.”
Hope thought for minute and knew that he probably wasn’t anywhere near here. He came here to see her. She was sure of it!
“I see,” replied Hope. She nodded in an exaggerated, teasing way to tell him she knew about his ruse. Then she batted her eyes at him. She couldn’t believe she did something so bold after things had been so cold between them. She knew his detachment from her hadn’t been because he didn’t find her attractive, though. Maybe now was the time to remind him that he thinks she’s pretty.
“So, here are the documents,” he said as he stepped forward with the stack of papers in his outstretched hand. “Take your time reading them, and feel free to ask any questions you have. And tell Aaron, that his questions and comments are also welcome.”
Hope took the sheaf of papers and took a deep breath to speak when Andrew spoke before she had a chance. “Excuse me, Hope, but I need to say something.”
Hope was caught off guard and her eyes darted up to his. “Of course. Go ahead. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“I’m afraid I’ve made a grave mistake. I’m sure I’ve hurt you in the process,” he said.
Hope’s heart went out to him because he was clearly in distress. But then her mind immediately leaped to negative thoughts. Maybe he’d deceived her or used her feelings for him to get her to work with Marcum Products. She bit her bottom lip nervously as she waited to hear the rest of what he had to say.
“I treated you poorly that Sunday afternoon in the meadow near your house. First of all, I didn’t have to be so harsh. I expected a parson’s daughter to be a spirit filled woman. I was taken off guard when you professed to struggle with your faith.”
He stopped and took a deep breath. Hope waited.
“And then to walk away so you could figure it all out on your own was decidedly un-Christian-like. I’m terribly ashamed of myself for not talking with you about your faith and trying to help you sort out your beliefs. I believe you were taken by surprise and possibly didn’t explain your views as you may have if you’d had time to think about it more. I took that chance away from you.”
Hope was about to speak when he held up his hand to stop her. “Please. Let me finish.” Hope nodded and leaned on the counter to hear the rest.
“I ran off. I wasn’t prepared to look at the possibilities of how things with us could play out. I’m so sorry I discarded you when you may have needed me. And I didn’t even wait to see if that was the case. I just left. Can you forgive me?”
Hope was stunned to silence. She didn’t have any idea what she wanted to say. Finally, she decided on the truth.
“Andrew, that you would come here and share your feelings means so much to me. And yes, if you feel you’ve wronged me I forgive you. You see, it’s the oddest thing. I’d been resisting the faith I’d seen growing up. I don’t even know why. After you
left that day, I talked to my sister, Charity. She said one simple thing to me that helped it all move forward.”
“What was that?” he asked.
“She said that faith is a choice. Faith in God is always a choice. Faith is believing in something you can’t see.”
“She’s right. I’ve never thought about it as something so simple, but it really is.”
“You pushed me to the place where I could talk about it with Charity. I’d avoided it before when she brought up the subject. You see, she’d noticed my lack of devotion and I kind of got mad when she mentioned it. She’s loving and so insightful. So all these things happened to make me realize how far I’d drifted,” Hope said as a single tear escaped. She wiped it away and continued. “I’ve started reading my Bible every day and have a daily quiet time where I pray about my day. I started going to church regularly and I do that joyfully now.”
“That’s quite a change. I’m happy about that,” he said sincerely.
Hope smiled at him. “So see, you were the catalyst that urged me back toward God. I thank you for that, Andrew.”
“That may be, but I still ran away from you twice. My actions there were horrible. I promise that I’ll never run away from you again – at least without an explanation.”
“I can live with that.”
“So now that we’re in agreement about spiritual matters, would you consider having supper with me later this week?” he said.
“I’d like that very much.”
“Maybe we can talk about resuming our courtship over supper?”
“Do you think it’s necessary to talk about it? Why don’t we just go ahead and do that? Resume the courtship, I mean,” Hope smiled.
Andrew smiled the biggest smile she’d ever seen out of him. He took her hand and pulled her to him. His embrace was what she’d dreamed it would be. She felt like she had finally found the place she wanted to be. In his arms.
When he leaned down and kissed the top of her head, she felt butterflies in her stomach. She held her breath in anticipation of the next move he might make.