by Lisa Kessler
Guilt stabbed at me. I’d persuaded him to help me save an enemy of the pack and blow out that wall. If anyone deserved to be buried under it, it was me.
As the sunrise filtered through the blinds, Deacon stirred. He blinked his eyes open and squinted at the light. “It’s like an ice pick.”
I tried to twist the miniblinds tighter, but it didn’t do much good. “Sorry, bro. That’s as good as it’s going to get.”
Deacon sat up and winced, wrapping an arm around his abdomen. “Dammit. Are you sure a house didn’t land on me?”
I shook my head. “You should lie down and rest. Cole wants to you stay still for a day or two. Give your brain time to heal.”
Deacon rolled his eyes. “Please, my brain is just fine.” He turned and put his feet on the floor. “I need to piss anyway.”
He got up and quickly sat back down.
I frowned. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Just…weak.” He pushed off the bed again, but he stayed on his feet this time. He shuffled across the hallway to the bathroom at a snail’s pace. Being sore was probably normal after a wall collapsed on you, even if you were a werewolf.
A couple of minutes later the toilet flushed, but the door didn’t open. My brother and I shared a connection, a knowing that most twins shared. Something was wrong. Deacon was scared.
In an instant, I was on my feet and at the door. “Need some help in there?”
“Yeah.” He sounded winded.
I opened the door to find him leaning on the sink. His chest was heaving. “I can’t…catch…my breath.”
That wasn’t one of the concussion symptoms Cole had mentioned. I took my phone out of my pocket and pressed Cole’s name. He answered on the first ring.
“Hey, Dex. How’s the patient?”
Deacon’s face was white and pasty. My gut twisted with worry. “We need you. Now.”
Cole was a veterinarian, but because we couldn’t go to a hospital, he did double duty as our pack doctor. His voice was all business now. A door slammed in the background. “Talk to me. What’s happening?”
“He says he can’t catch his breath.” I swallowed, hard. “His face is pale. He was wobbly getting out of bed, too.”
“Get him back in bed. I’ll be there in ten minutes. I’m bringing oxygen.”
The call ended, and I jammed my phone in my pocket, wrapping my arm around my brother’s waist. “Did you hear that? You need to lie down.”
He nodded, taking sips of air. Sweat beaded on his forehead, and my heart raced. Five minutes ago, we’d been teasing each other. What the hell was happening?
I helped him onto the bed and propped him up a little on the pillows. “What can I do? Do you need water?”
Deacon shook his head slowly. “No.” His eyes drifted closed. “This is better. I was just…winded.”
That was more than fucking winded, but I didn’t want to upset him. I gripped his hand. It was cool and clammy to the touch. “Cole will be here soon. He’s got oxygen with him. You’ll feel better.”
“Good,” he wheezed without opening his eyes. “Talk.”
What could I say? “I’m sorry I pushed you into blowing up the jail. It was dangerous, and we didn’t have enough time to plan out the explosives. This is all my fault.”
“Nah.” He cracked his eyes open with an exhausted smile. “This is…the…wall’s…fault.”
I chuckled as my vision blurred. I shook my head. “Shoddy craftsmanship. That wasn’t even a load-bearing wall.”
“Fucking…architects.”
A tear squeezed out the corner of my eye as I held my brother’s hand. Where the hell was Cole?
“You gotta hang on, bro.”
He gave my hand a weak squeeze. “Not…going anywhere.”
“Good.” The front door opened, and relief shot through my entire body.
Cole came into the room with a small tank of oxygen and clear tubing dangling from his shoulder. I moved out of the way while he got everything hooked up. As soon as the oxygen was flowing under Deacon’s nostrils, his breathing settled. Cole grabbed a blood pressure cuff out of his bag and draped his stethoscope around his neck.
“Do you think he collapsed a lung?” I asked.
Cole shook his head. “His lungs were clear last night. I’m not sure what’s going on.”
He slid the cuff up Deacon’s arm and pumped it, watching the timer on his phone. His expression darkened as he pulled the Velcro free. He handed me the cuff and put the ends of the stethoscope into his ears. When he lifted Deacon’s shirt, my heart stopped. His entire abdomen was deep purple, almost black.
Deacon’s eyes opened a little as Cole put the stethoscope over his heart. “Couldn’t warm that up first?”
Cole’s expression softened as he looked at my brother. “Just making sure you’re awake. I need to check your ribs, okay? Tell me if it hurts.”
He ran his fingertips along Deacon’s sternum, and other than a little groaning, my brother didn’t even wince. Cole tugged his shirt back down. “I need to talk to your brother. I’ll be right back. Just rest.”
“Okay, Doc.”
I followed Cole out into the living room. Asher and Naomi got up as we entered, concern etched on their faces. Cole pointed to the porch. Every step away from my brother made me ache to run back to him. Suddenly, I didn’t want to miss a single breath. Whatever Cole was going to say couldn’t be good if he didn’t want Deacon to hear it.
When he closed the door behind us, Cole met my eyes. “He’s bleeding internally. Probably his spleen.”
“You can fix it, right?” Even I could hear the desperation in my voice.
“Not without surgery, and his blood pressure is too low for that.” He shook his head, cursing under his breath before looking at me again. “He’d never survive the anesthesia, Dex.”
I gaped, unable to speak. Finally, I blurted out, “Are you saying…he’s dying?”
“He’s lost too much blood already.” Cole gripped my shoulder. “He’s not in pain, and we’ll keep him comfortable with the oxygen.”
“This can’t be fucking happening.” I rubbed a hand down my face, finding it wet with tears. “I can’t lose him. I won’t.” I spun around and went back into the house, slamming the door behind me.
Deacon opened his eyes as I came back into the room. “Good news, huh?”
“Does it show?” I took his hand in mine. “He’s wrong. Just rest. You’ll be fine.”
“You’ve always been a terrible liar.” He turned his head to meet my eyes. “Can’t believe you finally found your mate. After we broke her out of jail, she better love you ’til you die, bro.”
I sighed, shaking my head. “She’s probably in another country by now.”
“You sent Vance back for her, right?” His eyes drifted closed again.
“Yeah, but Phoenix is a big city. She could be anywhere.”
He squeezed my hand. “Fate won’t let her get away. You’ll see.” He opened his eyes again. “Am I going to be all right?”
I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t fucking do this. But he’d do it for me. He wouldn’t want me to be afraid. I had no doubt about that.
“Yeah.” I did my best to keep my voice even. “You just need to rest. You’ll be okay.”
“Good,” he whispered. “I…can’t wait to…meet your…kids.”
I kissed his hand. “They’ll have the best uncle in the world.”
“Damned straight.” His eyes fluttered open, his gaze locking on mine. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” I leaned in to rest my forehead against his. “Just rest.”
His eyes drifted closed, and his breathing slowed. Maybe time did, too. Asher, Naomi, and Cole came into the room at some point, but all my attention was on my twin. I wanted to run away, to pretend this wasn’t happening, but I didn’t move. I was Deacon’s brother. He was always at my side. I wasn’t about to leave his. I could do this.
He squeezed my hand one last time, an
d his chest stopped moving.
My brother was gone.
Asher rested a heavy hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
I didn’t reply. What could I say? It didn’t feel real.
And it was my fucking fault.
I stood up and bent to kiss my brother’s forehead. “I love you, Deacon.” I closed my eyes, struggling to hold myself together. Finally, I straightened and looked at Asher. “I need some time.”
He nodded. “Take all you need.”
I walked out of the house and into the backyard, then out into the valley where we ran together as wolves just two weeks ago. And I screamed.
CHAPTER 9
Natasha
I woke up to a scream. Vance had already parked and turned off the engine. We got out, and I looked his way. “What was that?”
He shrugged as he furrowed his brow. “I’m not sure.”
I followed him up to house. As soon as we stepped inside, Asher came out to meet us. His aura was no longer purple. It was black and red with dark blue braided into the fabric. He was upset and hurting.
Vance clasped his forearm. “How’s Deacon?”
Asher kept his voice down. “He didn’t make it.” He glanced down the hallway. “Naomi is talking to the boys right now.”
My stomach tightened. He’d died breaking me out of jail. I didn’t even know Dex’s brother. Why had they come for me at all? He’d still be alive if they’d left me in that cell, if they’d just let me kill myself to protect them.
“Shit.” Vance mussed his perpetually messy hair. “I thought he had a concussion.”
“Internal bleeding.” Asher sighed. “Cole thinks he must’ve damaged his spleen. It was painless.”
“Fuck.” Vance shook his head. “Can I see him?”
Asher nodded, and Vance left me alone with the Alpha. I wasn’t sure what to say. “I’m sorry.”
He studied me for a moment. “The police are probably already looking for you.”
“I know.” I braced myself for him to send me away. “I told Vance not to bring me here. If I can get into my car inside the impound lot, I’ll be out of your hair forever.”
Asher raised a brow. “Less than twenty-four hours ago you thought it was urgent that we kill the judge.”
“That was before he threw me into a jail cell the night before the new moon.” I shook my head. “He still needs to be taken out, but I’ll be a liability now that I’m a fugitive.”
“We lost a really good man to get you out.” He crossed his arms. “Vance tells me you’re almost as good as he is at eliminating targets. We could use your help.”
I blinked, struggling to believe my ears. “Are you asking me to stay?”
He dropped his hands to his sides. “At least until we take care of Judge Jones.”
“I usually work alone.” I pressed my lips together.
“No lone wolves in this pack.”
I raised a brow. “I’m not a wolf.”
“True.” He glanced at the hallway and back to my face. “I need to know I can count on you to help us end this threat.”
“You can.” I offered my hand. “Can I depend on the pack’s assistance to get into my car at the impound lot?”
He reached out, but instead of taking my hand, he clasped my forearm the way he had with Vance. “Deal.”
I stared at his hand on my arm and back up to his face. “Am I part of the pack now?”
“No.” He released his grip and took a step back. “But we’re partners for this endeavor.”
“All right.” A strange, warm feeling filled my chest—an acceptance. And even though I wouldn’t be making any money from this hit, I was eager to fulfill my part of the bargain.
“I need to check on Naomi and the kids.” He turned for the hallway.
“Wait.” My gaze flicked to the hall on the other side of the living room where Vance had disappeared. “Where’s Dex?”
He pointed to the kitchen. “He went out back.”
Asher walked down the hallway, and then I took a couple of tentative steps farther into the house. On some level, I couldn’t believe I was standing in the middle of the Alpha of the Sedona Pack’s house. This was so far from anything I’d ever imagined would happen. I’d never had anything against the wolf pack, but I’d made some questionable decisions that involved them over the years. Yet he walked away, leaving me alone in his house.
I wandered into the kitchen and peered out the window. I didn’t see Dex. I went to the French doors and quietly stepped outside. The wind carried his scent, and I tracked it through the backyard and into the wide-open valley until he came into view.
He was standing with his back to me. “Vance found you,” he said without turning around. His voice was raspy and hoarse.
A human wouldn’t have been able to make out his words, but I had no trouble. “Yeah.” I stopped next to him, surveying the valley between the Red Rocks. Sedona was at a much higher elevation than Phoenix, so while it was still hot, it didn’t resemble the hellish heat of the big city. “Thanks for sending him back for me.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I’m sorry about your brother.”
He nodded, still not turning to look at me. “My fault.” His voice was pinched, raw. “I pressured him to help me with the demolition.”
I crossed my arms, following his gaze as the shadows lengthened across the valley. “Actually, if you’re placing blame, if I hadn’t gotten arrested, none of this would have happened.”
He finally looked at me. His eyes were red rimmed, and his aura matched them. Deep-indigo emotions and bright-crimson energy swirled around him. “How am I’m supposed to do this?”
“I don’t know.” And I didn’t. Some people seemed to assume that because I killed for a living, I was some kind of expert when it came to death. But the truth of the matter was that I went out of my way not to deal with it. I plotted my hits, carried them out, and walked away.
He shook his head. “We’ve been together since before we even took our first breaths.”
My chest tightened as I shrugged. “You could help me make Judge Jones pay. It won’t bring your brother back, but it might give you some closure.”
He nodded and stared at the valley again, his gaze going distant. “We had a deal, right?”
“Yeah.” I waited for him to look at me again. “How soon can you get started?”
“Tomorrow. Tonight we’ll be saying goodbye to Deacon.”
If the pack was anything like the Nero Organization, they have to cremate the body. We couldn’t risk someone digging up a body and getting their hands on shifter DNA.
I wasn’t sure where that left me. I didn’t have a car or a place to stay.
“Will Asher let me sleep here?” I asked.
He shook his head and looked at me. “No.”
So I was on my own again. But I’d made a deal with the Alpha, and I’d honor it.
Dex cleared his throat, but it didn’t do much to smooth out the hoarseness. “You can stay with me.”
Heat flushed my skin, surprising me. I wasn’t virginal by any means, but I also didn’t have experience with men who weren’t jaguar shifters. Would he expect something from me in return?
“Are you sure?”
He looked at me, and for a second, his aura brightened. “Yeah.” He seemed to notice my clothes for the first time, and a sad smile curved his lips. “You’re still wearing my shirt.”
I eyed his outfit. “And you seem to have found one.”
He glanced down at his shirt and nodded. “I borrowed one from Asher.”
Silence settled between us as the sun sank behind the Red Rocks. He shook his head. “My first sunset without my brother.”
Comforting someone was miles out of my wheelhouse. “I don’t know what to say.”
He stared into the distance. “I kinda figured you’d be an expert since you kill for a living.”
“I never know my target and I don’t stick around afterward, so…”
He chuckled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m glad Vance found you.”
I raised a brow. “Really?”
“Yes.” He stared at me, that same intense stare he’d pinned me with in the visiting area of the jail, but this time, his darkened aura swirled with flashes of pink. Affection, attraction, caring…for…I wasn’t sure? He was looking at me but maybe the colors were for his brother. Had to be. He broke eye contact, staring into the valley again. “I had planned to stay close by you during the new moon to help you stay away from humans, but Deacon needed medical attention.”
I was missing a piece of this man. He barely knew me. Why would he care about someone who worked for an enemy of his pack? I couldn’t figure out what his game was, and it made me feel off-balance. I swallowed the lump in my throat. “No one has cared about what happened to me since I was a little girl.”
I’d never admitted it out loud before.
He looked at me and shook his head. “I find that hard to believe.” He brought his hand to my face, the backs of his fingers sliding along my jaw and sending jolts of electricity through my veins. “I’m too old for games. Life’s too damned short.”
I searched his eyes, bringing my hand up to catch his. “I’m not playing games. I’m just trying to survive.”
He shook his head and looked out at the valley again, but he didn’t release my hand. “This is fucking twisted.”
I wanted to shake him and beg him to make sense. But I’d barely slept and he had just lost his brother so I resisted the urge, even though I had no idea what he was talking about. Instead, I marveled at the way it felt to have his rough hand holding mine. He knew who I was, what I was, and he wasn’t trying to use me like a weapon or hunt me like an enemy. He was holding my hand as if I mattered.
My vision wavered while I surveyed the Red Rocks. People had told me Sedona was a magical place, but this bordered on surreal.