Clutch (Custom Culture)

by Tess Oliver

  Cassie looked extra small in the vast room. She wrung her hands together with worry, and I walked over and put an arm around her shoulder.

  Dray was the first one to find his tongue. “Have you three girls lost your mind coming down here? What the hell, Cass? Do you know how long I’ve been training for this fight?”

  Cassie’s throat moved as she swallowed. Her eyes looked glassy with tears, but she held them back. “I- I didn’t tell you to hit the guy.” Her thin tone was nearly lost in the stark tile and cement room.

  “I can’t fucking believe you girls came down here,” Dray growled. “Fucking stupid stunt.”

  Cassie turned around and flew out of the room. Scotlyn followed her.

  I looked at Dray. “She just wanted to see one of your fights, you ass—”

  “Stay out of it, Taylor,” Clutch said tersely.

  Up until that point, I’d made little eye contact with him, but I made plenty of it now. There was a tiny flicker of regret in his eyes but not nearly enough to wipe away his admonishment. “Go to hell, Clutch.”

  “Taylor, dammit, come back here,” he yelled, as I slammed the door and raced out.

  I plunged through the crowd, ignoring the creepy comments and gestures. Cassie and Scotlyn were already at the car as I shoved open the metal exit door and stumbled out onto the grimy sidewalk. We climbed inside.

  Cassie covered her face and slumped down in the front seat as Scotlyn started the car. I glanced back. Nix and Clutch emerged from the gym and watched us pull away.

  My stomach knotted up with pain as I thought back to the last few minutes. Clutch’s cold greeting for me only solidified my hunch that my parents had been telling the truth. He wasn’t going to give up his business for a silly, meaningless relationship with me. I felt hopeless and ridiculously delusional. For a brief amount of time, I thought I’d finally gotten him to take notice of me. For a brief amount of time, I’d convinced myself that Clutch wanted me as much as I wanted him.

  Cassie sat up and pulled out her phone. She furiously typed out a text message and pressed send.

  Scotlyn watched her and then looked up in the mirror at me. “Are you all right, Taylor?” I was glad they’d both missed my scolding.

  “I’m just great.”

  “Me too,” Cassie said sharply.

  Scotlyn glanced over at her. “Did you send him a well-deserved, nasty message?”

  Cassie shook her head. “Nope. I wasn’t texting him. I just sent a message to the man who offered me the internship overseas. I’ve accepted the position. Dray just made the decision really easy for me.”

  “Are you sure you shouldn’t wait until you’re not angry at Dray?” Scotlyn asked. “It’s a big decision to make when you’re upset.”

  Cassie didn’t answer her. She turned around and looked at me. “Taylor, you’re still young. You make sure that you pick the future you want. Don’t let any guy take control of your life. You too, Scottie. As awesome as Nix is, you’ve got to set your own future.” With that, she reached forward, turned up the music, and slumped back against the seat.

  We drove back in silence with only the memory of the horrid night to fill our thoughts.

  I leaned over and hugged them both as Scotlyn dropped me off at my street corner. The front room light was on, but my bedroom was dark, giving me hope that they had never checked on me. I stared at the quiet house for a minute and realized I wasn’t ready to go inside yet.

  It felt as if I’d been knocked senseless like a fighter in the ring. My limbs felt rubbery and useless. I sat down on the curb in front of my house. Still being spring, the night time temperature was chilly enough to make me fold my arms around myself. Then I thought about being in Clutch’s arms. I’d been in pure bliss for a few days thinking maybe things were going to go the way I’d wanted. I’d wasted so much emotion and heartbreak on the man and all for nothing. Cassie had been right. I needed to take care of my own future, and I needed to stop wasting time pining over Clutch.

  Car lights swung around the corner, and I figured Scotlyn had decided to make sure I’d gotten inside. I pushed to my feet and squinted into the light, but it wasn’t Scotlyn’s car. It was an old beat-up car that I’d never seen before. The car pulled over to the curb in front of my house. I turned to hurry inside.

  I heard a window roll down. “Taylor,” a voice said.

  I stopped and looked back. Gus’s face peered up at me as he leaned over the passenger seat. “I tried to call you.”

  “I don’t have my phone.” My heart was still racing. “You scared me. What are you doing here?”

  He looked up at me. “You look like you’ve had a bad night.”

  “One of the worst.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. I’m leaving in the morning.” He stared up at me. “You should come with me.”

  Chapter 26

  Clutch

  Normally, I was one of those lucky people who enjoyed going to work since it was my own business and I was doing exactly what I loved to do. But I would have preferred to stay in bed today. After a quick and disappointing fight night, I’d driven Dray home. I’d gotten home and finished enough beer to knock out an elephant, or me, and then fallen into bed. I had hoped to drown out my own miserable thoughts with alcohol but realized there just wasn’t enough beer in the house for that. Especially when the scent of Taylor’s perfume still clung to my sheets and the pair of earrings she’d taken out still sat on my nightstand. I tried all night to call her, but she never answered.

  The shop was empty as I arrived. I was just as glad not to see Jason. I had no idea how this was all going to end, but I knew that no matter what happened, I wasn’t giving Taylor up. Now I had to worry that she’d given up on me. She’d left so pissed, I wasn’t convinced that she’d ever talk to me again.

  I filled the coffee pot and headed to my computer. There were orders waiting to be filled. Aimee’s dad had given the shop a big boost with leads. She’d moved back home, and Dustin had disappeared completely. I could only hope he was living in a refrigerator box somewhere in the city.

  The back door opened and shut. “Scotlyn?” I needed to find out what’d happened after the girls left the fight. I only hoped she would tell me.

  The footsteps were heavy, not Scotlyn’s. Jason burst into the office, and I sat forward.

  “Where the hell is she?” His fists were curled tightly.

  “Who?”

  “Don’t fucking play games with me, Clutch. Where is Taylor?”

  “I haven’t seen her since last night.” I pulled out my phone. “She was with Scotlyn and Cassie last night. I’m sure she stayed out on the boat.” I dialed Scotlyn’s number.

  “Hello.”

  “Hey, Scottie. Is Taylor with you?”

  There was a pause. “No, I dropped her off on the corner of her street. She wouldn’t let me drop her in front of her house because she didn’t want her parents to see that she’d gone out. Do you mean she didn’t get home?” There was an edge of panic in her voice.

  “I’m sure she just ended up at a friend’s,” I said calmly, even though I wasn’t. “See you in a few, and don’t worry.”

  I hung up. “Maybe she spent the night with a friend. Did you call her school?”

  Jason’s face was in its usual twisted state of rage, a look that he’d perfected lately but one that’d never suited him. “Of course we did. What do you think we are, idiots?”

  I stood and he stepped back. “Yes, as a matter of fact that’s exactly what I think of you and your parents. And, once I find Taylor, which I will, she’s mine, and if you can’t handle that then we’ll talk about breaking up this business. While your expertise with cars is valuable to me, my business sense is of way more value to you. You’ll be shit out of luck without me, but I’ll do just fine.” I stormed past him and headed back out to my truck.


  I’d marched out of the shop with all the confidence of a skilled tracker only to realize that I was completely unsure of where to start looking. I knew Taylor had a couple of friends she was close to, but they would be at school. I headed home. Barrett was closer in age and knew more of her friends.

  ***

  Barrett was still fast asleep. The burns on his back were healing, but there was no way he could work. I kicked the side of his mattress, and he lifted his head and squinted into the daylight. “What the hell, Jimmy? What time is it?”

  “It’s ten o’clock. Sorry to wake you so close to the crack of dawn, but Taylor’s missing.”

  His head flopped back on the pillow. “I don’t think you need to worry. After all, it’s Taylor. It’s not like she hasn’t disappeared before.”

  I yanked the sheets off of him and dropped them in a pile on the floor. “Get up. I need your help to find her. At the moment, she’s really pissed at me.” I walked out.

  “So what? She’s always pissed at you,” Barrett called out. “Where the hell are my sheets?”

  I checked my phone on the way to the coffee pot. There was a text from Scotlyn.

  “Any word from Taylor?”

  “Not yet.” I wrote. “I’ll let you know as soon as I hear from her.” There were no other messages or texts. I knew that Taylor’s parents had taken her phone once as a punishment, but this time I was pretty sure she was just making a point of not answering my texts.

  I poured a cup of coffee. I heard Barrett walk into the kitchen and turned around. “Want a cup?”

  The look on his face told me he hadn’t followed me into the kitchen for coffee. “What’s wrong?”

  His phone sat perched on his palm. He glanced at it before looking at me again. “I know where Taylor is.”

  “Where is she?”

  “Alaska.”

  I placed the cup down hard on the counter, and hot coffee splashed my hand. “What are you saying? She left with that stoner?”

  “Gus just texted me. They landed in Alaska an hour ago. He said Taylor was upset, and he invited her to move up there.” Barrett’s face mirrored how I felt, as if someone had just handed me a lit stick of dynamite. “Sorry, Jimmy. She’s gone.”

  My phone buzzed and I looked at it. “Fucking hell, Dray’s fight fiasco just started an avalanche of shit. Nix just texted me that Cassie’s leaving Dray for a photography internship.” I yanked out a chair and sat down. My limbs and head were suddenly filled with lead. “I’ve been a fool thinking Taylor and I were going to work all this out. She hopped on a plane with hardly a thought toward me.”

  Barrett sat down across from me. “Really? That’s what you think? And I’m the idiot?”

  I glared at him, but it didn’t serve its purpose. He continued.

  “You have been the only guy in that girl’s whole damn world. There were plenty of guys after her in school, but she had this crazy notion that she was going to end up with you. I’ve never seen you happier, by the way, than these last few weeks. You’re not your usual asshole self.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Any time. You said she was pissed at you last night. Well, then flying off to Alaska sounds exactly like something Taylor would pull. Cute as she is, she never thinks things out— like her crush on you. She should have thought long and hard on that. Cause like I said— you’re kind of an asshole.”

  I sat forward fast enough to make my brother flinch. But I wasn’t pissed at him. I was pissed at myself. The truth was, I’d thought of nothing else except Taylor since— since forever.

  I pulled my phone out of my pocket.

  “Are you going to tell Jason?” Barrett asked.

  I shook my head. “First, I’m booking a flight to Alaska. Then I’ll let Jason know we found her, but that’s all I’m going to tell him.”

  “Awesome.” Barrett slapped the table. “We’re going to go fetch Tater Tot.”

  I looked questioningly up at him. “We?”

  He stood up. “Uh, you may know just about everything, but you don’t know your way around Alaska, or where Gus lives— Juneau, not Anchorage. You probably won’t be able to book a direct flight this late.”

  “Can we rent a car in Anchorage and drive to Juneau?”

  “Not unless the car has a bow and stern. There are no roads to Juneau.” He turned to leave and then stopped. “Oh, and pack a coat. It’s cold as fuck up there.”

  Chapter 27

  Clutch

  “Jeez, will you relax,” Barrett said, “I could bounce a bowling ball off the tension surrounding you.”

  I tapped the pen on the counter. “This isn’t tension. This is full blown anxiety.” I looked over at my brother. “What if we find her and she tells me to go to hell?”

  “Then we turn around and head back to California.”

  “That wasn’t the response I was hoping for. I thought you’d tell me that she would never tell me to go to hell.”

  The guy returned with the keys, and I pushed the rental contract across the counter to him. We were the only customers in the place, but it had taken him a good forty minutes to finally get to the point of handing us the keys. He took some glasses out of his pocket and stuck them on to look over the contract. I figured it would be another fifteen minutes before we left the place. His finger slid over the paper and then he stopped and glanced up at me over his spectacles. “You’re from California?”

  “Yeah, is that a problem?”

  He shook his head. “Not at all. If you’re looking for work up here, I know a few fishing boat captains who’d take you on for sure.” He returned to the contract. “Well, everything looks good. Do you need a map? The roads out here can get pretty tricky. It’s easy to get lost.”

  Barrett pointed to his head. “I’m his map. We’ll be fine.”

  “Are you all right with a manual transmission? I’ve only got a jeep left.”

  “His nickname is Clutch.”

  That humored the man. “I guess that means manual will work for you.”

  I took the keys in my hand.

  “Right out that door and to the right. Can’t miss it.”

  We left the counter. I glanced over at Barrett. “Yeah, why the hell should I be anxious? The woman I love will probably hate me even more for following her here that is if we can even find her so that she can break my heart face to face. And, now we’re in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by glacial mountains, and I’ve got you for a map. Why the hell should I be worried? Sounds like an awesome time all around.”

  We walked outside, and the wind cut us like sharp blades of ice. I shoved my hands into the pockets of my coat and scrunched my face down below my collar.

  “Told you to bring gloves,” Barrett said.

  “I can’t believe people actually live here.”

  “You’re just extra wimpy because you’re from the land of bright sun and blistering heat waves. Believe it or not, since it’s spring, this is actually balmy. In January, you’d be taking your balls off and sticking them in those coat pockets.”

  The jeep looked as shabby as the tiny car rental office we’d just come from. We climbed inside.

  “I hope the heater works,” Barrett said.

  “If it doesn’t then I’m sitting on my hands and driving with my knee.” A few turns of the key produced a rattling engine. We pulled out onto a long, two lane highway. A half mile down the road, the heat kicked in. “The scenery looks like it jumped out of a painting.”

  Barrett stared out the window. “It’s pretty fucking awesome up here.” He looked down at his gloved hands. “If I hadn’t fucked up like I always do, I’d still be up here.”

  “From what you’ve told me, it was your buddy, Gus, who fucked up.” My jaw clenched as I said the guy’s name. Barrett seemed to sense my sudden change of mood. “Just thinking about that guy putt
ing his hands on her—”

  “Stop thinking about that, Jimmy. She told me they were just friends. Besides, we’re not in Los Angeles anymore. These guys up here are tough as leather and they stick together. You can’t take this out on Gus. It’s not like he kidnapped Taylor. She packed her bags and left voluntarily with him.”

  “Yeah,” I twisted my hands around the steering wheel. “But I still want to kill him.”

  Barrett leaned forward and pointed through the front windshield. “Check that out. I’ll bet you’ve never seen that before.”

  I leaned down and peered up. A huge eagle with a wingspan as wide as the jeep glided above the road and then disappeared into a copse of evergreens. “That was cool. Hell of a lot bigger than I would have expected.”

  “They grow everything bigger up here. You should fit right in. The grizzly bears up here make the California black bears look like toys. There are wolves too. In fact, there’s a whole pack of them that live up near Gus’s cab . . .” He glanced over at me. “I guess you probably didn’t want to know that.”

  “Probably not.”

  “There’s a motel off the road over here. It has a diner. Let’s check in and go eat something.”

  “I don’t want to waste any time. It already took longer than I thought to get here.” “You’ve got to be kidding? That girl has been chasing you for two years. I think you can wait a few hours before you start chasing her back. She’s only been here for a day.”

  “I’m not chasing her.” The statement sounded even more stupid aloud than it had in my head. “I’m tracking her.”

  Barrett laughed hard enough to steam up the window. He fiddled with the defrost button, but it only made things worse.

  “Christ, Rett, I can’t see a fucking thing.”

  He reached forward with his gloved hands and smeared the condensation across the windshield.

  “Gee, that helped a lot.”

  “That’s all right.” He pointed to the left side of the road. “There’s the motel and the diner. The office closes at dark. If we don’t check in we’ll have to freeze our asses out here in this jeep all night.”