Tightrope

by Maddie Wade

  “You admitting to wearing my underwear?” she laughs. I throw a napkin at her before diving on her, tickling her until she is breathless.

  “No, you deviant. I’m not admitting that, but if it’s something you want to try,” I trail off as she giggles and throws back her head. I drop a kiss along the long column. “I took out a two-year lease on the store you like in town,” I confess.

  Lex instantly stills and struggles to sit up. “You did what?” she shrieks.

  “I spoke to Mr. Freeman and we agreed to a deal. You get it for half the rent for the first six months then we pay the asking price.” She and Cherry have had their eye on the place for months.

  “But we can’t afford it,” she says as she stands and starts to pace.

  “Yes, we can. I got a bonus at work for that cartoon illustration landing in a major paper. I paid the first six months already.” I stand and grab her gently around the waist to stop her pacing. “You can do this, Lex. You have so much talent, you can do this. I know you can.”

  Her eyes are alive with fear and excitement. “Do you really think so?”

  “I know so. You and Decadent Designs are going to be big one day. You have a gift and you’ve supported me in my career and now it’s my turn.”

  She throws her arms around my neck and kisses me hard and fast and despite the fact I just made love to her, I want her again.

  Will I ever get enough of this woman?

  Chapter Eleven

  Lexi—Today

  “Oh, my God, Cherry, hurry up. I want to miss the crowds,” I yell as my best friend pulls on yet another pair of boots. It’s two weeks before Christmas and we’re going shopping together. It’s an annual tradition and one I love. I’ve decided to keep the blue in my hair and I’m admiring the color in the mirror as I think about Dean’s little temper tantrum last night. I had been to Darla’s and had my color brightened. Frankie had insisted I get my nails painted in a Christmas pattern, so I now had little snowflakes and snowmen on my nails.

  According to Dean, it made me look cheap. I had been furious and told him I didn’t care what he thought, that I liked it and that was all that counted. He had sulked the rest of the evening.

  In all honesty, I was starting to wonder if this living together as friends could work, but I hadn’t said anything to Cherry. I already knew her feelings and it would do no good to moan until I had decided to do something about it and two weeks before Christmas was not the time.

  “For crying out loud, hurry up,” I yelled again, looking at my watch.

  “Cool your heels, bitch,” she says as she sashays into the room looking like she should be put on top of the tree. Her pink hair is covered by a white knit baker boy hat, a white wool coat, and pink knee-high boots. It shouldn’t look good, somehow, she pulls it off as she always does. I feel like a boring giant next to her, my hair is the one thing that looks bright about my outfit. I’m wearing black, skinny jeans, a huge navy padded coat, and flat, black suede boots adorn my feet.

  I shake my head and smile, slinging my arm around her neck. “Come on, Fairy. Let’s go.”

  We reach the car and Cherry instantly commandeers the stereo. Cherry is a whore for Christmas tunes, the cheesier the better.

  The traffic is quiet as we join the freeway. Our trip always involves a full day in Highford Shopping Mall. It is one of the largest shopping malls in Cincinnati, so we always spend a full day and get everyone’s presents except each other’s. It involves several trips back and forth to the car to drop off bags.

  We arrive and find a parking space in the already busy mall. Excitedly, we link arms and head straight for the Disney Shop. I love the Disney Shop. It’s a tradition to get a collectible piece to add to the shop each year, it’s a quirk our clients like. Plus, we always get each other a pair of Disney PJ’s each, it’s fun, and I love it.

  “Oh, Lex, look at this,” Cherry says as she points to delicate crystal Cinderella figurine. The blue of the dress catches my eye, reminding me of sexy blues eyes, bright with desire. My chest tightens almost painfully before I push the feeling away.

  “It’s exquisite,” I murmur.

  “We should get it for the shop,” she says enthusiastically.

  “Yes let’s,” I reply, but my gaze is still on the figurine. It is beautiful and oh so fragile, the slightest knock and it will shatter, but in its regal beauty, it seems so strong.

  “Let’s get it now. We can drop it back to the car before we go to Penney’s.”

  We wander around picking up gifts for loved ones, I get a silver money clip for my father, along with a thirty-year-old bottle of Scotch. My mom gets a silk scarf and a new handbag I know she has been eyeing up.

  I’m sniffing aftershaves when the back of a dark head catches my eye. I turn, and my breath catches in my throat. It’s him. My heart is beating so hard I’m surprised nobody can hear it. He is dressed so differently, in a long, dark wool coat, and slacks. He is turned in profile and I want to lick my lips as the gorgeous strong angle of his jaw comes into view.

  He is as beautiful in the cold light of day as he was that night, in fact, more so. I openly stare as he picks up a woman’s silk robe, fingering the soft material between his long fingers.

  Without thinking, I start to walk his way. My head is not controlling my feet, I know nothing can come from this and yet I can’t stop myself. I’m in a haze of lust as I walk toward him.

  “Lex,” Cherry calls and grabs my arm. “Geez, you were a world away,” she laughs.

  I turn to her and offer her a distracted smile. “Sorry.”

  “Hey, are you okay?” she asks.

  I look back to where he was, but he’s gone. Straining my neck, I look around, trying to catch sight of him, but he’s nowhere to be seen. My heart plummets, I hate myself for wanting him still. I look back to my friend and she knows.

  “No, I’m not,” I say, my voice shaky.

  “Oh, Lex! Let’s get a coffee and big slice of pie. Everyone knows pie makes it all better,” She links her arm with mine and guides me to a seat in Pie Heaven. I offer her a watery smile. My friend is the bomb. “Tell me everything,” she states after we have ordered and sat down.

  I push my pecan pie around my plate, swallowing nausea that burns my throat. I proceed to tell Cherry what happened with my Southern Stranger. She listens intently, never once making me feel bad or cheap. I take a shuddering breath as I finish and wait for her to speak, to tell me I’m a cheating slut.

  “And Dean knows and is okay with it?” she asks cautiously. I nod my head and then take a sip of the Hot Chocolate I had ordered, the sweetness makes my tummy churn and I put it down, pushing it away. “Well, honey, if he knows and doesn’t mind, then I would say your marriage has definitely evolved into one of convenience. The Dean I knew would never have been okay with this.”

  I nod. “It has, we are more like friends now.”

  “Do you still love Dean?”

  “I will always love him, but am I in love with him? I don’t know. I thought I was but surely if I was, I wouldn’t have done what I did and his decision to change things to platonic would hurt more.”

  “What about the mystery guy?”

  I feel my face burn with her question, he has become my nightly obsession. “What about him?”

  “Well do you have feelings for him?”

  I sigh. “I don’t know him.”

  “But if you did, do you think you could have something?”

  “It doesn’t matter, does it? I will never know. Dean needs me, he has to be my priority.”

  Cherry smacks the table and I jump. “No,” she says angrily. “I have watched you nearly kill yourself to look after him. He isn’t a child, Lex. He is a grown man and he is much better and getting better every day. You need to stop this shit right now and stop making allowances for him.”

  To say I’m shocked is an understatement, Cherry is outspoken, but this time she looks furious. “Okay, Fairy, calm down.”

  “
No, Lex, you need to stop being a martyr and start doing things for you. Not just worrying about him. You’re young and beautiful and I won’t have it.”

  I almost expected her to stamp her foot and a giggle bubbles up in my throat. That is until a waitress walks past with a savory pie that smells of onions.

  My mouth starts to water, and nausea hits me hard. With a hand to my mouth, I dive for the ladies’ toilets as Cherry calls my name. I make it to a stall and slam the door as my breakfast hits the bottom of the toilet pan. I feel soft hands rubbing my back and almost sag with relief that she is here.

  When I know my stomach is empty, I slowly stand upright with a hand on the wall and flush the toilet. Cherry thrusts a damp tissue at me and I wipe my mouth shakily.

  “Thanks,” I whisper croakily and move to the sinks, washing my hands and splashing my face with cool water.

  “What’s going on with you?” my friend asks, and I shrug slowly, still feeling delicate.

  A woman in her fifties looks at me with sympathy in the mirror as she washes her hands. “I was the same with my first. Morning sickness from morning till night, until I was four months gone. Try some ginger tea.” She carries on speaking, but I don’t hear a thing, her voice is like white noise as my brain tries to figure out the ramifications of what she just said to me. But I can’t be, can I? I mentally do the math and then do it again. No, no, no! Bile races up my throat and I dive for the toilet, dry heaving as my stomach churns.

  By the time I make it out of the bathroom, I’m like a zombie. Cherry steers me to a bench outside the café and the fresh air is good. We sit in silence for a minute until she takes my hand and leans her head on my shoulder. “Is it true?”

  “I have no idea. The timing is right, but we used condoms.”

  “We need to find out, sweetie,” she says. I nod my agreement.

  Thirty minutes later I’m staring at a positive pregnancy test. I’m pregnant! Utterly terrified and shocked, but a tiny flicker of excitement unfurls in my belly too.

  Chapter Twelve

  Dean—Five years ago

  “Come on Lex we’re gonna be late,” I yell from the bottom of the stairs, frustration edging my tone. It is 4th of July weekend and the company I work for is hosting a BBQ.

  “I’m coming.” Lex gets to the top of the stairs and my breath catches at the sight of her. Sometimes I forget just how beautiful she is. She has a white and turquoise orchid print maxi dress on. It skims her body, showing off every gorgeous curve, her tan skin vibrant against the white. Flat, open toe sandals adorn her pretty little feet, her long dark hair is pinned on one side with a white flower.

  “Do I look okay?” she asks as she reaches the bottom of the stairs and leans into me, offering her lips up to mine for a kiss. I oblige with a smile and drop a long, wet kiss to her mouth.

  “You look stunning,” I answer her question as I pull away.

  “Good. I want to make you proud.” She has no idea how proud I am of her. She makes me proud every day. It’s me that should be ashamed. I have been working later and later, chasing this promotion.

  “You make me proud all the time. Now let’s get going before I take you back upstairs and show you how proud you make me.” She giggles as I swat her ass on our way out the door.

  We arrive at The Heath Cote Country Club where the BBQ for the 4th of July celebrations are taking place. I grab us both a drink and steer Lex toward Tom and his wife Celia. Tom and I started working here together about two years ago, and he was good people.

  “Hey, Tom.” He stands, we shake hands, I introduce Lex and we take a seat beside them.

  “I see the boss’ daughter is here,” Tom sneers and I turn looking toward the patio where he is looking. Grace Deveraux. She is standing with her father, her head tipped back as she laughs at something her brother is saying. She senses me looking and turns her head toward us.

  Her eyes are such a bright blue that I can see them from here, her long blonde hair cascades down her back. She is beautiful, confident, and dangerous. A knowing smile tips her cruel, sensual mouth. I look away, anger and shame clawing at me, even though I can feel her eyes on me.

  Glancing to Lex, I see she is deep in conversation with Celia. I wish I didn’t have to be here, but I need this promotion.

  “Do you want some food?” I ask. She looks up, a smile on her pretty face. She is everything that Grace is not.

  “Do I ever turn down food?” she asks playfully. I stand, holding my hand out to her, which she takes. We walk to toward the BBQ area and I grab two plates.

  “Dean!” the booming voice of my boss calls. I resist the temptation to roll my eyes. After all, this— is why I’m here—to schmooze the boss.

  “Mr. Deveraux.” I turn with a smile plastered on my face. She is there, standing in front of me at her father’s side. Grace Deveraux, the woman who has turned my world upside down.

  “Have you met my daughter Grace?” he asks with a proud smile.

  “Yes, we met at the Comicon event last year.”

  “Of course, of course, and who is this beauty?” He indicates Lex and I feel my heart hammering in my chest, this is my worst nightmare.

  “This is my wife, Lex.”

  “A pleasure to meet you, Lex.”

  “You too, Mr. Deveraux,”

  “Oh, please call me Donald,”

  “Nice to meet you, Donald,” she says, and, in a few words, he is eating out of her hand. It is her gift. Lex makes everyone feel special.

  I watch as her hand slips into Graces delicate one and I wonder if she can tell. Can she somehow guess that not three weeks ago, Grace had her hands on me, touching me, kissing me?

  “Very nice to meet you, Lex,” she clips. I hear the sarcasm in her voice, but nobody else does.

  “You too, Grace. I love that dress you're wearing.”

  I need to get away from them and have no idea how the feeling of being trapped is making me light headed. “Do you mind if we get a drink, Lex?” I ask with forced, stilted words.

  “No, of course not. I’m kind of thirsty myself. It was great to meet you both.”

  “You too, my dear.” Donald turns to me with a wink and says, “Hang on to this one, Dean, she’s a keeper.”

  “I certainly will,” I say the words, but I feel the heated glare from his daughter on me, burning a hole in my soul.

  I take her arm and I practically march her to the bar where I order a Vodka straight.

  “What’s going on?’ she questions, and I curse her ability to read me so well.

  “Nothing,” I snap like the prick I am and instantly I feel like an asshole, the hurt look in her eyes slay me. Lex and I very rarely fight, we have always just clicked. “I’m sorry, Lex, I just don’t care for Grace Deveraux much,” I lie. The truth is, I care way more than I should and the epiphany is not nice.

  “I understand that, she was totally undressing you with her eyes.” She laughs, but her words hit to close to home and I react badly.

  “For fuck's sake, Lex, can’t you keep your stupid mouth shut for once.” Her gorgeous brown eyes go from shocked, to hurt and then to furious in the space of a few seconds. She says nothing, just walks quickly away. I call out to her, but she ignores me, grabbing her bag and running to the car. I stand immobilized as she drives away leaving me stranded on the 4th of July.

  Making my way to the bar I order another Whiskey and down it. “Give me another,” I demand sullenly.

  “My, my, aren’t we in a bad mood.” Her voice grates on me and I squeeze the glass in my hand tighter in an effort not to smash it against the wall.

  “What do you want, Grace?” I asked not bothering to look at her.

  “You, Dean. I want you and I will have you or I will ruin you and your perfect life,” she hisses.

  “I have no interest in you,” I lie.

  “Well, it didn’t seem that way when you were letting me suck your cock a few weeks back,” she hisses.

  My face flames with shame. I
wish I could say she is lying, but she isn’t. There was an instant spark when Grace and I met. I’ve fought it for the last year and then last month at a conference we were both attending, we got drunk and ended back in her room. One thing led to another and things got heated.

  I’ve never had feelings for another woman before, not since I met Lex. Not even an inkling, but something about her just pulled at me. Now she is threatening to ruin me unless I fuck her, and I can’t stop thinking about it. In the middle is my wife, who despite everything I have done, I love with all my heart.

  Lex is my best friend, my life partner, the person I want to spend eternity with, so why do I pine for Grace’s soft sexy body underneath mine?

  “Go away, Grace. I won’t be going near you again. That was a mistake.”

  “We will see.”

  I watch as she huffs away, her walk confident and sure. I need to forget this shit and fix things with Lex, but first, I need to get drunk.

  *~*~*

  Opening one eye I glance at the clock and see it is midday, a groan escapes me as I roll over in bed. I don’t know how I got home last night, but I’m in my own bed. My head feels as if I took a dentist drill to the inside of my brain. I see two Tylenol and a glass of water by the bed and my heart soars. Lex. She must have left them. I know she is going to be furious with me, but I also know she won’t be a bitch.

  I get myself to the shower and feeling refreshed, I go downstairs to look for her. I find her in the backyard. She is bent over weeding the flower beds on her hands and knees. Her back stiffens and I know she has heard me, but she doesn’t turn around.

  “How’s your head?” she asks as she rips a particularly rebellious weed from the ground with her gloved hands.

  “It feels like I got kicked in the head by a horse.”

  “Good.”

  I smile despite my pain. Lex has a mean streak when she is pissed. “Did you take the Tylenol I left you?” But see, not a bitchy streak.

  “Yeah, thanks. Can we talk?”

  She sits back on her heels and turns shading her eyes from the sun as she looks up at me. “Fine.” Taking off the gloves she throws them on the grass.