by Maddie Wade
“Lexi?” His voice holds a question and I look up into his beautiful blue eyes, his face looks ravaged and tired, the concern is etched around his eyes as he lets his gaze travel over me hungrily. I ignore it all. Stealing myself so that I can say what I need to say without breaking down. I put my hand over my tummy, as my son kicks, it gives me the strength I need to do this.
“Don’t touch me,” I hiss and his face falls, a hardness coming over it.
“I got your message, Hunter. Don’t worry if you’re not ready for this, then not to worry, because I’m more than ready to bring up our son on my own. As for that disgusting idea about getting rid of him, then I have no words for that, except you disgust me.”
“A son? You’re having a son?” He reaches for me and his voice is trembling slightly at my words, the ghost of a smile on his beautiful full lips.
“Yes, Hunter I’m having a son,” I say sadly, lost that he can’t even acknowledge that the child I carry is his. “Thanks for the money, I’ll put it in a trust for him for when he is older. I won’t contact you again, so no need for the threats.” From the corner of my eye, I see the woman Hunter was hugging move to stand behind him, as Dean walks out of the restaurant a look of anger and annoyance on his face.
“What in God’s name are you talking about, Lexi?” he asks, his tone is harder now.
“Don’t, Hunter. It’s bad enough you did it, don’t make me repeat it.”
He grabs my arm in a firm but gentle grip and awareness shoots through me at his touch. He rubs a thumb over the pulse in my wrist and I swallow a sob at the tender gesture.
“Listen to me, Lexi, I have no idea what you are talking about, but I never gave anyone a fucking envelope and I would never suggest getting rid of a child that was mine, ever. I was late and I’m sorry, but then when I got there I was met with your ex. You didn’t even have the decency to tell me the baby isn’t mine. You led me to believe he is mine and then I’m hit with this.”
He shakes his head and I begin to shiver as his words start to penetrate my brain. What is he talking about? I never lied to him about our son. His jaw is clenched in anger, but his eyes, the windows to his soul, show the pain he is in. Still, he is rubbing my wrist and I feel the warmth of his touch, it soothes me. I don’t know what he sees in my face, but he cups my cheek with his big warm hand and gently thumbs away the tear that is silently falling. He looks so devastated and I want to console him, take away the look of desolation on his face. I can feel the pull he has on my body and my mind is so confused.
“It wouldn’t have mattered to me, Lex. It was you who stole my heart, not the baby. If you had told me, we could have fixed it, but you never gave me the chance.” His words are so tender and spoken with such heartfelt feeling that my lip trembles. He leans forward, I can feel his warm breath, my eyes flutter closed, waiting for his kiss. I can feel the brush of his lips like a feather on mine when I’m pulled back to reality.
“Lex.” I hear Deans voice and slowly I move my head toward the urgent sound. Hunter’s hand drops away and I’m left feeling bereft. I have no time to process anything as Dean is clutching his chest, he has gone deathly pale and staggering toward me.
“Can’t breathe.” He falls to his knees and I rush to him. Dropping to my knees beside him he takes my hand. “Help me.”
“Someone calls an ambulance,” I shout.
I feel Hunter behind me, his hand on my shoulder grounding me and keeping me calm. “An ambulance is on its way, Lexi.”
I nod and look at Dean with a forced smile. “It’s okay, an ambulance is on its way. Hang tight.”
“Don’t leave me,” he stammers gripping my hand.
“I won’t leave, I promise.”
I turn and watch in a fog as Hunter is pulled away by the woman he was with. I want to call him back tell, him not to leave me, I need him. I don’t, I turn back to Dean and force calm.
*~*~*
Hunter
Cassie takes hold of my arm and firmly drags me away. I have no idea what the fuck is happening, but something is seriously off. Lexi was spewing so many things at me and I have no idea where they were coming from, but as I glance at the man on the ground I have a suspicion that takes hold.
“What the hell is going on Hunter?” Cassie asks as she turns me to face her.
I shrug her arm off as uncoiled anger burns through me. “I don’t fucking know, but I promise you I will find out.”
“What was all that about money and an envelope?”
I watch as the woman I love sits on her knees beside her estranged husband and holds his hand. I know I should feel compassion, but I just want to grab her and tear her away from him. She is mine, or she was nearly mine.
I know now I was a fool to accept his words and walk away. I should have stayed and made her tell me the truth, even if it broke me.
“I don’t know anything about it, but this isn’t over, Cassie. If she lied to me then she can tell me to my face she doesn’t want me.”
“We should go. Now isn’t the time, Hunter.”
“I need to speak with her,” I say, desperation and stubbornness in my voice.
“Don’t be a stubborn ass, Hunter. She is pregnant and whether it’s yours or not, you don’t want to be the one who causes her any more stress. Let’s just go and you can talk to her when things have calmed down.”
It takes everything in me to walk away and leave her, but my sister is right. I don’t want to make this more stressful for her. The confusion and hurt are branded into my brain, I just want to hold her and tell her that I will fix this, that no matter what I can make it better for her. I can love her son as if he is my own. My gut clenches as pain radiates from my heart and my stomach knots in pain.
I feel grief for the child that I nearly had, a child I already loved. Maybe we can talk and fix what has somehow been broken, but something tells me it won’t be that easy.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Lexi
“I really appreciate this, Lex,” Dean says as I help him settle into his old room.
“No problem, it’s only for few days until you feel better,” I tell him as he nods at me.
“Yes, of course. I’m going to take a nap now, I’m feeling really tired.”
I move to the door on legs made of jelly, sheer exhaustion dogs my every move as close the door letting him rest. I hadn’t been allowed in for Dean’s appointment as apparently now we were estranged he had to consent, which he hadn’t. I couldn’t argue with him and honestly hadn’t had it in me. I was still reeling from everything that had happened today.
Flopping on the sofa, I put my feet up and lean my head back on the sofa, closing my eyes. Dean had told me that the doctor had said he’d had a minor heart attack a needed to take it easy and avoid stress. He had asked if he could stay in the house which was technically half his still to recuperate as the doctor thought it would be best for him to be somewhere familiar.
I like an idiot had agreed. I hadn’t wanted to but how could I say no? I might not want to be with him, but it was his home too. My bum buzzes and I take out my phone lifting my butt cheek and making my son wriggle. I try not to feel disappointment when I see Cherry’s name, not Hunter’s. Everything he’d said and done had confused me, but I was too tired to deal with any of it right now.
Cherry: What the hell is going on? I haven’t heard from you?
Lexi: Sorry, things got so crazy I don’t even know where to start explaining. On the positive, your Godson is cooking well.
I smile as I send the text telling her I’m having a boy. My phone starts to ring in my hand at the same time my tummy rumbles. I answer the call and all I hear is excited screams in my ear. I laugh as I walk to the kitchen to warm myself some soup and make a sandwich.
“I take it you’re pleased.” I giggle at her enthusiasm.
“Oh, Lex, I can’t tell you how happy I am for you.”
Cradling the phone between my shoulder and ear I take out some soup and pou
r it into a bowl, before putting it into the microwave to heat up. “I’m happy too, he looks so perfect, Fairy.” My voice is tender as I think about my son. He is the shining star on a very shitty day.
“I wish I had seen him.”
“Me too, Fairy. How is Frankie?” I ask as I make myself a turkey and Swiss sandwich.
I hear Cherry sigh on the other end of the phone. “He’s okay. Physically he will heal, but it shook him up pretty badly. How could anyone hurt him, it’s like kicking a puppy?”
“Do they have any more on who did it?”
“No, whoever this spineless asshole is they attacked him from behind. He didn’t see anything. They will look at CCTV, but it doesn’t look good.”
“Poor Frankie. I’ll come see him tomorrow.”
“You might as well wait until he gets home, they will probably discharge him tomorrow. Tell me about the scan. I want all the details.”
I know she is going to lose her shit when I tell her about all that happened today, but she is my best friend and I don’t keep things from her. Walking into the living room I sit down with my soup and sandwich and take a deep breath before I start. “Okay, Cherry, don’t lose your shit, you need to let me tell my story and then you can speak,” I warn her before I start knowing that I need to get this out without her interrupting me every two seconds to throw a hissy fit.
“Okay,” she says cautiously.
I tuck my feet under me as I take a sip of the soup, hoping that it settles my swirling stomach as I tell her about everything that went on, from Dean showing up, to his revelations about Hunter, to seeing Hunter at the restaurant and our confrontation and then Dean’s heart attack. I leave out that I’m letting him stay here until I need to, knowing that she won’t like it. I still don’t know what happened between them but every time I mention Dean, Cherry tenses up.
“Oh, sweetheart, I don’t know what to say. Are you sure Hunter said those things? Shouldn’t you hear it from him?”
“That’s just it though, when I confronted him, he acted like it was me in the wrong as if I had betrayed him somehow. Perhaps you're right and I need to talk to him when I’m calmer. When I’ve had some sleep, I can evaluate thing better.”
“That’s a good idea, sweetie. You need to rest and forget about it all for tonight. We can chat tomorrow and get all this straightened out.”
I’m about to answer when I hear a noise in the hall, my body tenses and my heart accelerates. Standing with my phone in my hand I grab the baseball bat from beside the French dresser and check the hallway. There is nothing there, then I notice something on the floor. Moving to it I bend to pick it up, it is a car key and attached is a picture of a couple. My heart stops and my hands begin to shake as I look at the couple in the picture.
“Lexi, are you still there?”
I realize that I have been silent, my phone is pressed to my ear. “Yeah. Sorry, Fairy. Listen I need to go, can we talk tomorrow?”
“Of, course, sweetie. Go to bed and we will sort this out tomorrow. Love you, Lex.”
“Love you too, sweetie.” I press end on the call, but my eyes are glued to the keyring.
How can this be happening? I turn it over, looking for a clue as to when it was taken and my heart breaks again as betrayal slams into me. I know when this was taken, hurt and anger fill me until I can hardly breathe for it. I look down the hallway to the closed door of the room Dean is using.
It’s time to stop pussyfooting around and find out what the fuck is going on.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Lexi
Sitting down heavily on my bed, I look at the keyring again. Every breath hurts as the betrayal burns. Dean is smiling into the eyes of a woman, his arms around her in a tender clinch, the look of love in his eyes is glaring at me. She seems vaguely familiar, but I can’t seem to place her.
Her arms are around his neck, her hands on his face, but what makes this so much worse is Dean is wearing a red checkered shirt I bought him. It’s the same shirt they cut off him when he had his stroke, that’s how I can date the picture. That, and the fact it is dated in the corner, the date two weeks before his stroke, two weeks before I lost our baby.
A baby I had thought he wanted. My entire marriage was a sham, no matter what had happened, he had betrayed me. Hearing a noise outside my door I freeze as he knocks on the door.
Angrily I stride to the door, and pull it open, fury filling me with bravery and stupidity. He is standing there in jeans and a hoodie that is pulled up covering his face. Fear skitters down my spine. “Yes?” I demand, false bravado filling my voice. My arms are crossed over my chest, so he can’t see them shaking. His face goes from smiling to cautious in seconds and I see a wildness I had never noticed before. It makes me pause. It’s unwise to confront him while I’m alone. Dean is clearly not the man I thought he was.
“Everything okay, Lex?” he asks, his eyes move over me. I’m blocking the door with my body, but he looks behind me.
“Yes, all good just tired. Can I get you anything?” I ask pretending like as is well. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, it’s a wonder he can’t hear it. Dean looks at me, assessing my face before stepping back.
“Okay, Lex.”
I let a relieved breath go and move to close the door, but before I realize what is happening I’m flung to the floor. I scoot back quickly until my back is against the bed. Dean is walking toward me slowly. What I see terrifies me. This is not the man I know, his eyes are cold, and his smile is malicious and fills me with fear.
“What’s going on, Dean?” I ask trying with all my might to remain calm and non-aggressive. He crouches down on his haunches so that he is looking in my face. I can feel his breath, my own hitches as he reaches out to touch me.
“Oh, Lexi, Lexi, what am I going to do with you? Why couldn’t you just fuck him? Why did you have to grow his spawn inside you?”
“I don’t understand,” I stammered trying to reach behind me for something to protect myself and my baby with.
“I know you don’t, but you will. You just need to be patient until I can get rid of him. Then we can go back to normal.”
I knew I shouldn’t ask but it slips past my lips before I can stop it. “What about your other woman?”
His face turns dark with fury as if a black cloud had appeared in the room. “You know about my Gracie? You’re not meant to know yet.” His tirade stops at a banging on the door. I go to scream, but he slaps his hand over my mouth.
“Shut the fuck up,” he snarls. My body begins to shake as fear like I’ve never felt before fills me. Then I hear his voice and tears start to fall as I listen.
“Lexi, come on open up, I need to talk to you.”
Hunter is here. I start to move trying to get free, but Dean grabs me by the throat squeezing tight until my vision blurs. I hear Hunter yelling at me and just as I’m about to pass out, Dean releases my throat. I suck back gulping lungs full of air as I hold my throat.
“Please Lexi, I need to see you. I know you’re there please let me in.”
Dean paces, his agitation increasing. Knowing I can’t let Hunter leave, I crawl to the door as Dean looks out of the window. I’m almost to the door when he yanks me back by my hair, my scalp burns in pain and I cry out.
“Shut the fuck up,” he growls before he backhands me hard. I see stars as I fall and then nothing as blackness overtakes me.
*~*~*
Hunter
With my shoulders sagging I walk back to my car and get in. I sit just staring at her house. I can’t get this afternoon and our confused conversation out of my head. Something is off. She obviously doesn’t want to see me, but I can’t just walk away without trying to get through to her.
Starting the car, I drive away and head back to my parent’s house where I’m staying. All the way there I have a knot in my gut, an awful sense of foreboding I can’t get rid of. Pulling into the drive I hope like fuck my parents are asleep. I can’t face twenty questions right
now.
When we had gotten home earlier had been bad enough, mom had demanded I tell her what was going on, but I had shaken my head and told her to leave it. For once she had done what I asked, which showed how haggard I must have looked. Cassie had been a rock and insisted I give Lexi time before I approached her.
I pour myself a drink of the first alcoholic thing I can lay my hands on. Grabbing the entire decanter, I go upstairs. Shedding my clothes, I shower on auto-pilot and then change into sweats. Sitting on the bed I open my laptop and start to write to Lexi.
Dear Lexi,
I know things have gotten complicated between us somehow, but what hasn’t changed is how I feel about you. Dean explained that you suffer from some kind of mental illness that makes you go off and meet men for sex. He also explained that the baby is his and you are further on in your pregnancy than you said, meaning the baby can’t be mine.
The strange thing is that now I have had time to reflect and got over my anger and hurt about the lies, I realize that it doesn’t matter. I love you, and I will love that baby as if it is my own.
You have changed me in ways that you will never comprehend. I never saw myself wanting to settle down, but all I can think about is a life with you. You fill my life with sunshine, and for the first time in a long time I got up in the morning with a zest for life. You did that, you made me see that we have a purpose in life and it isn’t to make money or build a business, it’s to make the person who is your other half, your soulmate, feel special.
I know I’m rambling now, but it boils down to the fact that you complete me, you're it for me, my Pretty Girl. If any of the things you said to me were true, or you feel the same way about me then meet me tomorrow at the Aquarium. I understand this may be hard for your husband and I swore I would never do this, but I can’t let you go without trying one more time.
If you choose not to reply or not turn up, then I will take that as your decision and leave you alone and try and move on with my life.
Whatever you decide please know I wish you only happiness, whomever that may be with. You are a very special woman and deserve to be happy.