by Maddie Wade
“It’s fine honestly,” I say praying for him to leave so I can wallow in my misery and stupidity alone.
“No, we’re friends. I can’t leave you. When he arrives I’ll go, leave you to it.”
I have no way of saying no without sounding like a complete bitch, so I don’t. “Okay, thanks.”
Biting my nails, I look around nervously. Where the hell is Hunter? He had been so adamant that he would be here, I feel disappointment weigh on me as I think of how he had promised to be with me for this. Was I a fool for believing him? I didn’t think so, he had been so excited to see our child, it was all he talked about. He had even sent flowers this morning.
Baby decided then was a good time to jump up and down on my bladder and despite the nurse saying I needed a full bladder I couldn’t hold it much longer, so I stand and excuse myself.
“Take your time, Lex, I’m not going anywhere.”
I move quickly to the ladies’ toilets before I realize I have left my bag on the chair in the waiting room. With a shrug I decide not to worry, it isn’t the first time Dean has watched my bag.
Chapter Twenty- Six
Hunter
I run through the hospital at breakneck speed, ignoring the nurses and orderlies who glare at me for running. I promised Lexi I would be here and I’m late. Fucking security scare at the airport, they had held us back just because some prick had a left a bag unattended.
Pushing through the door for the Gynecology reception, I scan the room looking for my Lexi. My heart plummets when I don’t see her. Am I too late? I notice a man watching me intently, the look on his face cis old and filled with hate. Instantly I know who he is. I stride toward him knowing that this is unavoidable, but this is a special day for Lexi, and I won’t have it ruined for her. He stands as I near him.
“Dean?” I ask as I put my hand out to shake the hand of the man in front of me. He looks at my outstretched hand as if it’s a rattlesnake, before raising his eyes to mine. I’m not sure what Lexi sees when she says he is a sweet man but the man looking back at me with deadly hate in his eyes is far from sweet.
“I know who you are,” he snarls. “You’re the alleged fucking sperm donor.”
My shoulders tighten, and I feel my muscles bunch ready to fight as anger floods me. “Seriously, man, I know this must be hard for you. But you didn’t want her, and she is having my baby.”
He starts to laugh humorlessly. “Is that what she told you? I’m sorry to say this, but this is not the first time Lexi has done this.”
My head spins, and denial is on the tip of my tongue at the words he is saying. “I don’t understand. What the fuck you are saying?”
“Lexi is sick. She keeps coming off her meds and when she does she goes off with men in bars. Then she convinces them that I’m the bad guy. Don’t tell me she told you I had been ill, and she was my caregiver and I told her to go fuck other men?”
Bile swims in my guts as I listen to his words. No! It can’t be true! Lexi didn’t seem ill at all. I stagger slightly and grab the wall to support me as the things he’s saying penetrate.
“But what about my child?” I ask. Grief is clouding my thoughts and I just need to get out of here so that I can think.
“Lexi and I had been trying for months. We found out she was pregnant just before she met you. It’s not your, baby it’s mine. Listen, I’m sorry but I need to ask you to leave us alone now. I need to get my wife some help and concentrate on our baby.”
I respond with a nod and leave, stumbling out of the hospital. Gasping for breath as I try to take in what has happened. I believed her, every word and worse, I cared for her. I had been about to change my life for her. I’d fallen in love with an illusion.
My Lexi didn’t exist. She was the figment of a sick mind and I had been so desperate to believe her that I hadn’t questioned her. Jake was right, I was a fool. I wanted to go back and pound her husband, take out all my pain and anger on him. Why hadn’t he taken better care of her?
My phone rings, I check the display and see it’s my sister. “Yes?” I snap.
“Hunter are you okay?”
“No. No, I’m not,” I say as I move to my car.
“I’m at Eighteen at the Radisson, meet me and we can talk.”
“I don’t think I’m in the mood for company,” I reply as I drive away from the hospital.
“I’m not a company, I’m your sister. Get your ass here now.”
I sigh as I agree and then hang up.
It seems I’m about to share with my sister what an idiot I have been.
*~*~*
Lexi
I exit the restroom and head back to the reception area. I look around, my eyes eager for a glimpse of Hunter, but he is not here. I swear I can smell his cologne. How desperate is that I’m even having phantom smells of him?
I smile at Dean who is reading something on his phone. I’m about to sit when the nurse calls my name. Tears prick my eyes as I realize that I’m about to see my baby again and find out if I will have a son or daughter. Excitement bubbles in me, but underneath I feel a pang of loneliness.
“Would you like me to come with you, Lex?”
Gratitude floods me at Deans offer. I don’t want to do this alone and I’m angry at Hunter for making me do this alone. “I’d like that if you don’t think it would be too weird.”
Dean wraps his arm around my shoulders and I fight the urge to shrug him off. He is being nice, I’m behaving like a bitch. “Of course not, that’s what friends are for.”
A nervous laugh erupts out of me, and I follow the nurse into the Doctors office. I’m about to see my baby again, what could be better than that? But I know what could make it better, but he hadn’t shown up.
“Hello, Mrs. Crane, nice to see you again. How are you feeling?”
“Hi, Dr. O’Connor. I feel really well, thank you.”
“Is this Mr. Crane?” he asks and shakes Deans hand.
“Hi, Dean Crane, good to meet you.”
I feel mortified as Dean allows the doctor to believe that he is the father but there is no way to correct him without making myself look like a total slut.
“Okay, let’s pop you on the bed and have a look at this little one.”
I climb up onto the bed and lift my shirt shyly as I feel Deans eyes on me. He takes a seat beside me and I deliberately keep my hands by my sides so that Dean doesn’t try to hold my hand. This is feeling more and more like a bad idea.
“Okay, the gel is a little cold.” Dr. O’Connor squeezes the gel over my bump and I hold my breath as I wait.
My eyes are glued to the monitor as he swirls the Doppler around, then I see my baby on the screen. It is a perfect profile and I can make out every perfect limb. My focus is intent as I see I tiny hand move as if waving at me. Tears fill my vision and I let them fall, a love that is so strong it makes my heart almost stop fills me as I look at my child. The strong steady beat reassuring me that all is well.
“Baby looks great. I’m just going to do a few measurements.”
Panic grips me at his words. “Is everything okay?” I ask, and I feel Dean take my hand, squeezing it reassuringly.
“Absolutely, all just routine stuff.” Dr. O’Connor continues to measure as he shoots me a smile. I try to tug my hand away from Dean, but he holds on tight, so I let it go. I turn back to the monitor, and I’m sorry that Hunter never made it, this moment would have been so perfect with him here.
Selfishness stabs at me, this moment is perfect seeing my baby again, I just wish Hunter was here holding my hand and sharing it with me.
“So, do you want to know what you’re having?” I nod eagerly and Dr. O’Connor smiles. “Looks like this little one is very proud to show us the goods,” he laughs. “You’re having a little boy.”
My lip wobbles and tears spill down my face, a little boy, a son. “A son,” I whisper and Dean tenses beside me, pulling his hand away. I turn to him and he smiles, but his eyes speak the words he doesn’t say and for a
second, I feel guilty. I’m getting everything I always wanted, he isn’t.
“I’m happy for you, Lex.”
I don’t say anything but turn back to the screen, taking a last look at my little boy before we meet for real.
Dr. O’Connor hands me a tissue and I wipe the gel away before straightening my top and standing. “Everything looks perfect, the baby is growing well and in the seventy-fifth percentile which is fine, but we’ll keep an eye on you. You are tall, so a big baby shouldn’t be an issue for you. If you make an appointment for twenty-seven weeks with my secretary, we will check your measurements again then.”
“Thank you, Dr. O’Connor,” I say as he hands me the scan pictures he has printed off. Walking into the waiting room I make the appointment and then follow Dean to the door. He is understandably quiet. We walk side by side to the exit as he looks around as if he is looking for someone.
“Are you okay? I’m sure that was tough for you.”
He tilts his head and frowns at me. “I’m fine, honestly. I’m happy for you, you will be a great mom. I’m just worried about you, you seem so distracted. How will you cope with a baby and a business on your own?” We reach the outside of the hospital and I realize that I came with Cherry and have no car, shit.
“Hunter wants to be involved,” I say as I look for a cab, suddenly wanting to go home so that I can look at tiny blue clothes and relish the happy glow I have from seeing my child.
Dean shakes his head I feel myself getting angry, he is trying to ruin it for me and for just a second, I hate him for it. “I’m sorry, Lex, he doesn’t want that.” He faces me as we stand in the cold, his face is a mask, his eyes avoiding mine.
“I don’t understand. What do you mean he doesn’t want that?” Confusion clouds my mind and my heart kicks up a gear as if it knows that something bad is going to happen. A sense of foreboding worms its way into my gut and causes doubt to creep in.
“He was here, before the scan. You were in the toilet and he arrived.” He runs a hand through his hair in frustration as if he would rather be anywhere than giving me this news.
“Tell me,” I yell, gripping his arm.
“I don’t know, Lex. He must have recognized me or something because he came right over to me. Said to tell you he had changed his mind and didn’t want the child, was offering you money to get rid of it. It made me feel sick, Lex. I just couldn’t bear to tell you before you went in.”
“No, you’re lying,” I stammer as I step back, my hand up toward of his hateful words.
Dean’s face turns into a mask of anger for a split second. “Really, Lex, after everything we have been through, everything we have been to each other you think so little of me that I would lie about something like this? I know it’s hard to hear but it’s the truth. He gave me this to give you.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out an envelope as I feel my body start to shake.
Why would Dean lie to me? But if he isn’t then the alternative is too awful to comprehend. Hunter wanted this baby, our son. He was so excited. How could that have changed so quickly, almost overnight?
Dean hands me the envelope and I take it with shaking hands. Slowly I open it, there is about ten thousand dollars in cash in it and a letter. Flipping it open I see it is a typed sheet, so I begin to read.
Dear Lexi,
I’m sorry but I’m just not ready to be a father. Here is some money you can use it to terminate the pregnancy or for baby clothes or diapers. I never asked for this that night and I don’t see why I should be shackled to it now.
Please don’t contact me again, if you do I will instruct my lawyers to start custody proceedings and have the child removed. My family can raise it with nannies.
Yours truly,
Hunter McKenzie
CEO Lungo Industries
I let my hands drop as my world implodes. He’d lied to me. All of it was a lie. His words swim in mind as I feel my heart shatter into a million pieces. It is then that I know that I hadn’t been falling in love with Hunter, I had fallen in love with him. Now he has destroyed my heart beyond repair and I will never be the same.
His careless thoughts for our son and me killed something that no other man will ever repair. Everything that happened with Dean and the miscarriage all seems to fade as I feel the pain of his betrayal smother my heart until it is buried so deep that no one will ever find it again.
I straighten my spine as I face Dean and the look of pity on his face. I hate that he is the one who saw this. But I won’t show him how broken I am inside. For my son and my pride, I will hold my head high and keep moving forward. I will be the best mom in the damn world and give all the love I have inside me to him.
“Don’t look at me like I’m about to break,” I snap, and his eyebrows pull up in surprise.
“Okay,” he says cautiously. “What would you like to do now? I can run you home if you want?”
I think for second, fire licking through my veins. “No, let’s go to Eighteen at the Radisson. I feel like celebrating that my son is growing so well.”
Dean grins but it barely registers as I fight to keep the happy smile on my face. “Okay, Lex, let’s go.” Dean offers me his arm and I take it, my jaw clenched as I swallow tears of anger and hurt at what Hunter has done. I will let myself grieve later but now I'll have a steak and raise a glass of apple juice to my son.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Lexi
My face is frozen into a mask as I try to keep the smile on my face from falling. Standing beside Dean in the elevator up to Restaurant Eighteen I would rather be anywhere but here but my determination to prove to Dean that I’m fine is fueling the fire inside me.
I don’t know why I feel that way, but I think it’s a combination of the pity in his eyes coupled with things he has said about Hunter in the past. I feel as if I’m waiting for him to say the words ‘I told you so’. So, I act nonchalant and ignore the hole in my heart. We are seated quickly by the hostess, who takes our drinks order and leaves with a smile and a grin at Dean.
I bend to my bag and pull out my phone not caring that it’s rude. I check my messages and there is one from Cherry.
Cherry: Hi Lex, just to say Frankie is going to be okay. His face is pretty badly beaten but no internal injuries. They will keep him overnight as he did lose consciousness for a while. How is my God baby?
Relief flows through me and a weight is lifted to know Frankie is okay. I hope they find the bastards that did this. I must have said it out loud because Dean asks me what’s wrong. “Some sick bastard attacked Frankie, beat him really badly.”
Dean purses his lips tightly and anger flickers inside me. Dean has never liked Frankie, saying he is a bad influence and he should tone it down a bit.
“Say what you’re thinking, Dean,” I hiss between gritted teeth.
He throws his hands up in supplication and leans back in his seat. “I’ve told you before, Lex, he needs to tone it down. People don’t like it thrown in their faces.”
I’m outraged at his words, I grip the table until my knuckles turn white as I glare at him. “So, what? He deserved it?”
“I didn’t say that. I just meant he attracts the wrong attention with the way he is. I wouldn’t wish that on him.”
I sit back and fold my arms over my chest. Why can’t people just leave people alone? “Well, whatever he didn’t deserve to be beaten up.”
“Settle down, Lex, it’s not good for the baby. I don’t know why you take everything I say wrong these days.” He looks upset and sad and for a second, I feel bad for being such a bitch, but on reflection everything I take wrong is wrong.
This was a mistake and I want to go home. I want to see Cherry and Darla and then go and hug Frankie. I thought Dean and I could be friends, but it just won’t work. I go to speak when my eyes land on a broad, strong back.
Hunter is here, and he is hugging some woman, kissing her cheek. I feel my mouth go dry as I watch her laugh at something he said. They seem so close
as if they have known each other for a long time. I didn’t think I could feel anymore broken but as I watch them I realize I can. He looks so good, so strong and even though he is the one who has hurt me I want nothing more than to feel his arms around me.
My emotions are bubbling to the surface. Anger, heartbreak, and humiliation make my hands shake. I need to get away from the scene in front of me before I break down.
“Lex.” Dean reaches for my hand and I snatch it away.
“I need a minute,” I say and stand to rush for the ladies, restroom. I’m blinded as I rush past tables, my vision swimming with hot angry tears. I hear a voice behind me, but I ignore it and slam the door on a cubicle.
I sit there on the toilet lid and let the tears come. They are silent, but they are broken. I hug my middle and suck in my sobs trying so hard to control myself. Why did this happen? Why show me a hint of the beauty I can have only to snatch it away from me so cruelly?
How dare Hunter leave a message for me with an envelope full of cash, telling me he wasn’t ready to be a father! To tell my soon to be ex-husband that he didn’t want us was the icing on the cake.
Wiping away my tears, I take a pee and then open the stall door. I wash my hands and face and then look in the mirror. For the first time in years, I see a real fire in my eyes. The fire brought on by pain and deep love.
I’m sick of being treated like this and it stops now. I will not let my son be brought up by a weak woman who allows men to walk all over her. I’m a confident, successful woman and it’s about time I started acting like one.
First order of business is to tell Dean this friendship thing won’t work for me and that he needs to move the fuck on. Next is to tell Hunter exactly what I think of his letter and then ram the money up his tight ass.
With a last look in the mirror, I walk out the door and slap bang into a solid chest of muscle. A hand comes out to grasp my arm steadying me, and I jerk myself back from his touch, even though all I want to do is lean into him and beg him to love me.