Whispers of Forever: Mending Christmas (Canyon Junction: Hearts In Love #1)

by Mary J. McCoy-Dressel

  T.J. nodded. The door opened before he knocked, and Paige bent forward to hug her son. When she stood back up, he did notice she had gained a little weight. Mostly, it showed in her face. Betrayal cut through his core, and her sleeping with another man made his blood boil. He clenched his hands. His skin stung like it had been sliced open. What he wanted to do was wrap his hands around her freaking neck. Jake breathed in until his lungs were full to calm himself down, and he let it out slowly as they entered. T.J. ran upstairs. “I told you not to be here.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll be out of your life soon. I’ll explain it to Trace. I made cookies for his party tomorrow, so you can take them back with you tonight.”

  “He said you didn’t get the note, so I bought what I needed to make a batch. I’ll take yours because it’s getting late, and I want him to get in bed on time. He has homework tonight and detention tomorrow.”

  “He has detention?” She turned toward the stairs. “Again?”

  Jake touched her shoulder. “Let it go. You don’t want to know why. I’ll take care of it.”

  “Yes, I do.” It was only a short glare before she jerked away and headed upstairs.

  Jake dropped his hat to the table and lifted both hands to his head. I warned her. He gave them a moment then made his way to Trace’s room. “Get your stuff ready, bud.” He picked up a couple suitcases. “I’ll be back for the rest.”

  Paige took Trace’s hand and sat on the bed beside him. Jake shook his head and walked outside, unsure if he even wanted to know what word was used and why.

  When he returned for the second load, Paige had tears in her eyes. He picked up a box. “Paige, why don’t you bring the other box and come down. It’s not too heavy for you to carry.” He hadn’t intended the threatening stare. The insult, on the other hand, was intentional. Another man’s baby? Downstairs, he set the box on the table, went to the bottom of the stairway, and yelled up to Trace. They’d been here long enough. “Hey, grab what toys you want for now. We’ll get the rest later.” He turned to Paige with fire in his eyes. “So what was the word the boy used to make Trace so angry?”

  She took a seat, closed her eyes, her shoulders slumping forward. “The kid saying disgusting words lives in the extended stay hotel where I—”

  “You don’t have to say what you did there.” Deep breath. Breathe.

  “A sixth grader called me a whoring bitch…” Her voice cracked before she finished the sentence. Paige buried her face into her hands, choking back sobs.

  He gasped, and his throat caught as he tried to swallow. “Trace actually said those words? Thanks a hell of a lot. Now my nine-year-old has to learn what that phrase means.”

  “Oh, shut your damn mouth. He hears them on the playground all the time.” Short sniffles were muffled behind her hands. She reached for a tissue.

  He leaned toward her, the contained anger finding a way over the wall he had hidden it behind. “I don’t care, but having your name attached to them is what I’m talking about.”

  “Well, I’m not pleased if that’s what you’re concerned with, Jake.”

  Clearly shaken, Jake stood in front of her and peered into her eyes but glanced away when she did. He caught sight of the jack-o-lantern with a stern face, probably as bad as his own. “When are you leaving town? You’ve avoided answering long enough.”

  “In three days. I’ll pay the rest of the rent here to fulfill the six-month lease, turn in this furniture…and I’ll be gone. Don’t expect me to give up on having T.J. I still have the right to take him out of state—”

  “No—”

  “I won’t do it yet, because I need to get settled, find him a school, and—”

  “Don’t look too hard. I’ll win this one in court the next time.” Jake moved to the bottom of the stairway to listen for Trace upstairs. He came back to Paige. Gathering his strength and calling back the calm, there was only one choice left. “Listen, you can’t leave without telling him goodbye. Come visit him at the ranch before you leave. Call to let me know what time. At least let him see us together, so you can part on a good note.” He leaned closer. “He’s a child for God’s sake, and one day he’ll figure it out and know why.”

  He backed away and moved to the other side of the room. Sonofabitch. This was his cheating wife, but it killed him inside to be so angry at her. One day they’d look back at it as a… He didn’t know what, but it’d be better when he didn’t have to look at her, so for now, he kept the anger at bay, though he seethed inside.

  “I’ll come by the ranch.” She peered at the floor before looking back at him. “Jake, I’m truly—”

  “Save it.” He strode to the bottom of the stairs. “T.J., you need any help up there? I’m ready.”

  “I’m coming, Dad.” He bounced downstairs with his bulging backpack filled with toys and books; his baseball mitt on his hand.

  “I’ll take this out. Say good night to Mom.” Jake took his bag and turned to Paige. “Bring him out after you get his cookies.” He exited without another word.

  Chapter 4

  On the way to take Trace to school the next morning, Jake had a call from Beth. “I’m so sorry, Jake, but I can’t make it out this morning. Mom and I had a long and tearful night. I’m wiped out.”

  It hadn’t surprised him. After the ordeal with Paige last night, it was for the best if she backed out, for she’d not find his mood to be sociable. He listened intently to every word. “That’s all right. I understand. No problem. Is your dad all right?” Jake was unsure of what to say. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked. Not long ago his family had gone through this with his grandmother—he understood the hell and agony of watching a loved one die.

  “I appreciate your concern. Now he is. We had to call a nurse in the night. His pain was just too great.”

  “Hey, try to get some rest. Give me a call later if you’d like.” He peered at Trace after hanging up. They pulled up in front of the school. “So, about detention today…”

  He tossed his hat into the back seat, then his small hands turned into fists. “That’s him, Dad,” said Trace, pointing. “He’s the one who said my mom is—”

  “Don’t say it! Dang, he is a big kid. You took him down?” Jake put his hand on his son’s shoulder. “If he says anything to you, talk to Mr. Barker. I’ll call him before school starts to mention it.”

  “No, I won’t talk to the principal. All the kids will laugh at me.”

  “They’re already laughing.” Palm to forehead. Shit. “I mean, they’re laughing at the little punk who has a rotten mouth. Just do the best you can today. Call me if you need to.”

  Before getting out, he answered, “I will. Are you seeing that Beth girl?”

  “No, no.” Jake hesitated. “I might have coffee with her sometime.”

  Trace shrugged as he opened the door. “Mom has a boyfriend. See you after school. Tell my horse hi.” He chuckled before getting out.

  “Sure thing, kiddo. I love you.” Jake clenched the steering wheel damn tight as he drove away. T.J. had said his mom had a boyfriend like it was a normal thing. With a shake to his head, he picked up his phone to call the principal to give him a heads up.

  ***

  Three days later, Jake remained on Beth’s mind. She was remorseful about breaking the meeting over coffee, but what could she do? Still as handsome as she had remembered, Jake had turned into a full-grown and virile man. All the younger features were carved out into adulthood sexiness. Like the sharp jawline, twelve-hour, full scruff instead of his so-called beard growing in patches. Kissable and sun-kissed lips…all caused an ache in the pit of her belly.

  Beth closed her eyes, remembering his delicious smell for the instant they had hugged. Nothing sharp or spicy for Jake but light and masculine, although he had never tried to impress with his aftershave. So many memories dwelled in his sincere oak-brown eyes. At this point, she couldn’t even imagine his body, the muscles beneath his clothes. What a way to drive herself crazy, but it was th
e perfect distraction for a while from the stomachache stemming from her dad’s illness, and the toll it took on his life.

  The yearnings she had for Jake came back like it had happened yesterday. The fact they were both single now got her mind to spinning in directions it shouldn’t. She had never gotten over him. How weird this all seemed now. She’d definitely call him to catch up. Now it was time to get back to reality and care for her parents.

  She dropped to the floor in her father’s bedroom and leaned against the wall. His breathing was so rapid, it seemed painful, but with the pain medication regiment, he felt nothing. Nothing. He waited in limbo. She peeked at her watch. It was almost time to give medication to keep secretions from rising to his throat, which was so bad now, and the odor from it was one she’d never forget. The odor of death nearly made her puke when she walked into the house. Her mom dropped something in the kitchen, and it rattled Beth’s senses. She couldn’t sleep, either. They both tried so hard to sleep. It didn’t come.

  She rose, squeezed her dad’s hand, then went into the kitchen. “Mom, please try to lie down. You don’t need to be sick.” Beth slipped her arm around her shoulder. Her mom was weak, and it didn’t take much coaxing to get her to the bedroom. Isabella lay on the double bed, and Beth pulled a yellow sheet over her. “The nurse will be here later, and I’ll try to rest then,” Beth told her. She sat on the side of the bed, glancing around at the room that appeared as it had even while Beth was in high school. A new coat of sunny yellow paint brightened it up some, but the same pictures sat on the nine-drawer, pine dresser. “Mom, do you remember Jake Lawton from my high school years?” Beth had been banned from seeing him. Her mom had to remember.

  “You mean Jake—”

  “Yes, the boy I ran away with because I was in love with him.” She wouldn’t have given herself to any high schooler, but Jake wasn’t just any high schooler, and she had been ready. They had been ripped apart when neither of them wanted that. She couldn’t dwell on the past. His relationship with his wife had recently ended, and he had a child to raise. He probably never gave her a thought after high school.

  “Why do you ask, Beth? Have you seen him?” Her mom rolled to her side and placed her hand on Beth’s knee.

  She smiled. In the parking lot that early evening, the man walking in had resembled Jake. The special walk he owned. Tall. Well-built. A man now. The way he wore his hat with a certain tilt to the left. He grew his hair longer, and it had become a tad darker. “The other day when I went to get the carryout he was there waiting for a table.”

  “You wore a smile when you came in that evening. You’re both adults now, and no one can stop you from going after what you want. Do you think I don’t see the look in your eyes even now? The same as I saw when you came home from school at fifteen.”

  What had her mom meant? “He has a son. A handsome little boy who resembles him.”

  “I know he does, dear. You know we only wanted what was best for you, sweetie.”

  Beth gazed into her mom’s olive eyes, and hers misted against her will. “I was so in love with him. It might not have been a mistake to let us be together.”

  “Honey, by then you were seventeen with your whole life ahead of you.”

  Almost eighteen. Look where it turned out. “I know, Mamma, and I understand why you and Dad did what you did. At least now I do.” Approve? Not so much.

  “He’s married, but as town talk goes—”

  “Not anymore. His wife left him. She’s leaving the state.” Peering at the throw rug on the carpeted floor beside the bed, she went over in her head what Jake had said about Paige, and it saddened her.

  “See him. Go see him, Beth. Rest up today and go see that man.” Isabella covered her mouth when she yawned, sighing as she cuddled into her pillow. She closed her eyes and slipped into slumber.

  Her words ran through Beth’s mind and bounced between her brain and skull like a ping pong ball. Had he grieved? She had after she and Ross divorced, but for losing her best friend—not a husband. She’d tell her mom later that she was moving back and had acquired a job in the medical records department at Banner Good Samaritan Hospital in Phoenix. Beth left her mother’s room to return to her father’s side. At the raised rail of the hospital bed, she watched him as his life slowly slipped away. “Oh, Daddy. I love you.”

  Observing him, she pictured his anger when Deputy Thompson had dragged her back home the night they ran away. How the next day her dad had gone to Jake’s house to bring her home, again, when she snuck out to see him. Her dad called him names she had never heard leave his lips before. “I forgive you, Dad.” Jake had stood there calmly taking it without giving any rebuttal. Even then he’d been gallant and respectful. She peered at the clock beside the bed. The nurse would be there in a few hours. She gathered clothes to take a shower.

  ***

  Dressed in light blue jeans and a sleeveless, white button-up shirt, Beth dug out her worn cowboy boots from her closet. When her brain had cleared, it hit her that she hadn’t even known where Jake lived.

  She sat at the computer to search his name. He had a business. Well, he sure did. Nothing like what friends had described. A rather good-size business with ranching supplies. Brilliant. She knew how to get to his place. Had the same old barn remained standing? Right away a chill pricked her skin.

  A week after they’d been banned from seeing each other—spending most of the day hiding in the hayloft, they had come close to consummating their love. Omigod! Beth shook her head to shake the tingle from her backbone.

  In the kitchen, she made coffee and poured a cup for her mom who was now awake and moving around the house. “I poured you a cuppa, Mom.”

  “How sweet. The rest felt good. How’s Dad?” Isabella sat at the table. “You look pretty. Your hair is so lovely these days. I’m glad you’re here, honey. It’d be nice if you moved back, but I won’t ask.”

  “Um, I am taking you up on your earlier suggestion. When the nurse comes, I’ll go visit Jake. Do you know he has a business outside of town in the same place he lived as a kid?”

  “I don’t know, honey. I suppose I heard something about it a while back. Hard to keep things quiet in small town Canyon Junction. We used to see him in town, but other than grocery shopping, we hardly go anymore. Well, I’m the one who goes now.” Isabella touched her arm. “By the way. On your way home, can you get some good crusty bread? Tomorrow, it will go great with the lasagna the neighbor brought.”

  “Absolutely.” Through the window, Beth observed the nurse pulling up to the front door. “Sally’s here now, Mom. I’ll let her in and then go.”

  “Enjoy yourself, dear.” Isabella took her cup and headed toward the spare bedroom.

  Beth had planned to enjoy herself, even if they sat and did nothing more than reminisce. What else would they do for Heavens’ sake?

  With everything fine at home, she got in her car and drove the same way she used to drive once she got her license. Outside his ranch, she studied the signposts that led up the driveway. Stretched across the top in large lettering, it said: JL Ranch atop a smaller sign that read Lawton Ranching Supplies. He used to talk about leaving this small town and never coming back. She was proud that he stayed and made a name for himself. Jake had always had the drive to succeed. Dust hadn’t yet settled on the road. Maybe he had arrived this minute himself.

  Driving up the road, she was amazed at what he had done. He took an old house and made it appear brand new—even the front facing had been redone, plus he’d added a large porch. A lump caught in her throat. As she glanced to the right, there sat a small barn, but through a clearing between that and the main house, she spotted the old, red barn—the paint no longer faded. Her throat tightened, trying to push a lump down. “He kept it.” The front door opened. Jake pushed the screen then skipped down the steps to her car.

  “Beth. Wow. What are you doing here? I mean, I’m glad you’re here, but… You found my place.” He turned to look back at the ho
use.

  What had she been thinking? She lifted her palms to her cheeks. “I’m sorry I should’ve called.”

  “No, well, it’s just that my wife is leaving later tonight, and she came to see Trace. The last farewell for a while so to speak, I guess. The boyfriend is waiting for her at her condo. They’re flying out in his little piss-ass plane.” Jake backed up, and his hands sliced through the air. “I can’t believe she actually took my son up in it. I’m sorry, that got away from me. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it all while behaving like a sane person instead of a maniac.”

  “Trace?” She peered up into his puppy dog eyes and smiled, saying softly, “You named your son Trace?”

  Jake grinned. “You remembered. Yeah, I named my first kid Trace J. Just an initial. Sometimes I call him T.J.”

  “Of course I remember. The name we had picked out for our first…” She had to get out of there. He never forgot. “I’m leaving. Go have dinner.” Beth put her car in reverse.

  “Wait, Beth. Can you come back tonight?”

  “Umm, I don’t know.” Her heart beat as fast as baby bird wings flapped. Butterflies danced in her stomach. Her palms sweat. “I don’t know. I’ll call first if I do.”

  “That’s not necessary.” Jake put his hand on her shoulder. “Come back tonight. I’d love to talk—spend some time…” He backed away as she removed her foot from the brake. “I never forgot us, Beth.”

  Omigod. Omigod. “I’ll call you.” When she backed up, the screen door opened, and his son came out onto the porch. What a memory. It was like Jake had done the last day she had been here. Stop staring. Hit the gas pedal! He had stood there not wanting her to leave—his dad holding him. But, now she was back. “Bye, Jake.” Tears burned in the back of her eyes. What had she started now? Longing for him only made the sight of him harder to bear.