A Thousand Blessings - Book One (Blessings Series 1)

by Lisa Heaton

  The few times she did glance at the commander, he was focused on the king’s orders, intentionally not looking her way.

  Isabel spoke up. “Commander.”

  Elias turned to face her. “Yes, Queen Isabel?”

  “I have written a few questions that I would like for you to ask the young woman if you would.”

  “Of course.” For a brief second, their eyes met. “I will get to the bottom of this to the best of my ability.”

  “I know that. That’s why I suggested that you go. I trust you will take great care with the girl’s feelings. She has endured much.”

  “Yes, ma’am, she has endured much.”

  Isabel stood and walked toward Elias. “Hold out your hand.” When he did so, she placed the note and a bag of coins in Elias’s palm. “Until the matter is settled, give this to the girl’s family. Make sure they have plenty to eat.”

  With his hand in hers, Isabel found it was shaking as he took the bag. She had placed one hand beneath his open hand. For a second more than was necessary, they allowed their hands to touch.

  “I will make sure she is well cared for, Queen Isabel.”

  ***

  Elias rode out that very day to Artilan with the summer sun blazing overhead. Already he had read Isabel’s note at least a dozen times. The questions he was to ask were questions that only a woman would consider: Will you be able to care for a man who once hurt you this way? How will you feel moving so far away from your family? Will you feel comfortable living near his family?

  His heart ached for Isabel just as he knew Isabel’s ached for the young woman. Because of Isabel’s first experience with intimacy, she was grieved over the girl’s circumstance. Even in the moment, Elias could hear Isabel weeping as she sat near the water that morning after. No doubt, this was personal for her.

  He considered the most recent time he had found Isabel crying alone. Now, he regretted that he hadn’t gone to her. That was a mistake he wouldn’t repeat again. In the future he would take every opportunity to be with her. Most recently, feeling as if he was dying without her, he had come to determine loving her from afar wasn’t enough. Elias needed more, and crazy thoughts of stealing away with Isabel plagued him all too often.

  Prior to reaching Artilan, just a few miles south of the border, Elias arrived at the home of the family of the young man who had raped the girl. Because he hadn’t known what to expect at either home, Elias had brought with him ten soldiers. The deputy of Artilan had suggested to the king that the family of brothers was prone to drunkenness and violence. Of course, Elias was wise enough to know that the dignitaries from Artilan were biased against the Kidian family. Elias would make his own judgments.

  When he first encountered a pair of the brothers, Elias found them to be confrontational at once, demanding to know his business there. Within minutes of his arrival, the parents were summoned, a pair Elias disliked straight away. The mother was one of the meanest and vilest women he had ever met. The awful names she called the girl who had been harmed caused Elias’s blood to boil, and it was all that he could do to keep his temper in check.

  Soon enough, three other brothers arrived, these three even larger and more unfriendly than the first two. The answer to Isabel’s third question was no: the girl could never comfortably live near the young man’s family. With these men and their mother was the last place Elias would consider sending a wounded young woman.

  After Elias had spent some time with the parents, the youngest son came in from the fields. Elias insisted on speaking with him alone. In order to have privacy, they walked away from the house and his domineering family. It took no time at all to discover that this poor boy was misplaced in this dreadful family of his.

  Massive in size for his age, more broad and muscular like a mature man than wiry as most young men were at this age, Elias found the boy to be surprisingly tender. When he had walked into the house, Elias had expected him to be more like his brothers, calloused and cruel. Not this boy, though. Where his brothers were darker haired and weathered, Eric was fair haired and baby-faced still. No wonder the family was so overprotective of him, considering he was indeed the baby of six boys and just turned seventeen.

  The moment Eric began to tell the story of the night he had raped the girl, he began to weep in shame.

  “I’ve followed God my whole life, and never had I been with a woman before. But my brothers.” He looked at the commander. “They were badgering me something terrible because of it. On that trip they were determined to make me a man. By the time they returned to camp with the girl, they were so loud and drunk that I did what they wanted just to shut them up.”

  “The girl, didn’t she seem scared to you?”

  “I thought she was afraid of my brothers. They planned on having a go at her when I was done. Because I heard them say so, I snuck her out of my tent and walked her to the edge of town so that they wouldn’t bother her.”

  “But you were with her as she claims.”

  Eric nodded. “Yes, sir. What I did is unforgivable. If I could take it back, I would.” He hung his head. “I know her parents’ wishes. No matter what my folks say, if she will have me, I will marry her.”

  Elias patted the boy’s back. “I can hardly see bringing her here.”

  “No, sir. She would never survive them.”

  After staying overnight in the Artilan border town of Heath, the following morning Elias and his companions went to the home of the girl, Sybil. Even before reaching the front door of the small stone cottage, he encountered five children ranging from toddlers to nearly grown, most of them girls, not as useful on a farm. This family was indeed poor. Their clothes were tattered and torn, and the children seemed to need a two-day bath. The family farmed a small plot of rocky land just east of Heath, near enough to walk but not a quick journey, by any means.

  They had no true barn or stable, only a lean-to shack that accommodated their milking cow. Without even a mare to pull a plow, Elias wondered how the family made do.

  Compared to the Kidian family, Elias decided, he would take the poor over the rich any day in this case. These parents were caring of their children but adamant that the boy must marry their daughter. Even if they had the money to feed her, if Sybil were to have a child out of wedlock, she would never have a hope for finding a husband. That was the worst fate for any woman of no means.

  Just as he had spoken with Eric alone, Elias walked with Sybil and tried to delicately ask Isabel’s questions.

  “How could I possibly care for him?”

  “If you marry as your parents insist, he will be your husband.”

  “Maybe in name but never in heart.”

  “Is it true that the young man helped you to get away so that his brothers wouldn’t harm you?”

  “It is true.”

  “Maybe you begin there, remembering he’s a young man who ensured you came to no further harm. He had no intention of hurting you. His brothers told him you were…” Elias trailed off out of respect to the girl.

  “I was in a bad part of town, a place I know to be frequented by such women, looking for help for my little brother. We couldn’t afford a physician, but there is man in that area who helps the sick. I was only in that place because my mother sent me.”

  “Why didn’t you tell them who you were?”

  “I tried, but they wouldn’t listen.”

  “So the older brothers knew you weren’t for sale?”

  “They were so drunk; I don’t know what they knew.”

  “Did you tell Eric, the young man who assaulted you?”

  “No, sir. I just wanted to leave.”

  She began to tremble. “I’m going to be sick.”

  Before Elias could act, the girl doubled over and began to vomit close enough to splatter his shoes.

  For a minute she heaved and gagged. All the while, he tried to soothe her. This moment was so eerily similar to his time with Isabel when she was ill that tears sprang to his eyes when he consid
ered how any man could so wound an innocent girl. This wasn’t Eric’s fault. In his opinion the brothers were responsible.

  The only remaining question of Isabel’s was how Sybil would feel if she moved far away from her family. The girl never answered that question directly. Instead, she shook her head. “Since when do my feelings matter?”

  Chapter 15

  Isabel stood beside the sea with Colin. They had spent the morning in Deslan surveying the work that was being accomplished within the town. Buildings were being painted, porches repaired, and rutted roads filled. Each time they came, so much progress had been made that it seemed like an altogether different town than when she first visited. Even the atmosphere and the attitude of the citizens were changed. They were taking pride in their town and themselves. This revitalization project mattered and was making a difference. She couldn’t be more pleased.

  Those thoughts, as good as they were, weren’t exactly what she had on her mind at the moment or during the morning, for that matter. She had good news, at least she hoped she did.

  “Can we walk?”

  Colin took Isabel’s hand. “Of course.”

  They walked away from the docks along the deserted shoreline.

  Isabel shielded her eyes from the sun and looked inland. “Build us a cottage here, one we can sneak away to.”

  He followed her gaze. “Here?”

  “Maybe here, just somewhere along the seashore. I love this place.”

  “I know you do. I will begin to build you a cottage right away.”

  “Us a cottage.”

  He smiled and squeezed her hand. “Us a cottage.”

  “I like who you are when we’re here.”

  Wondering, he stopped. “Who am I when we are here?”

  “Not the king. You’re just a man I like to be with.”

  “Which makes you just a woman?”

  Isabel dropped onto the sand. “Yes, just a woman.”

  When Colin was seated beside her, she rested her hand on his back and sat looking out at the water.

  “I can’t be certain yet, but I believe a baby is on the way.”

  When he said nothing, she felt a sting of disappointment. “I thought you would be happy about the news.”

  He stared straight ahead with no expression on his face. “From the very first night you arrived, I’ve watched you. You are kind to others. You dance. You talk to everyone.” He paused. “Except the one man you feel close enough to that you would call him by his given name.” Without turning to look at her, he asked, “Could this be the commander’s child?”

  “Absolutely not! He has never touched me in that way. Never.”

  For the first time he dared to look her in the eye. “But you love him?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you understand the implications of that admission? I have the power to destroy any man foolish enough to have an affair with the queen.”

  “We are not having an affair.” She looked away. “Not as you mean it.”

  “He’s the one you had to give up to come to me?”

  “Yes.”

  His long silence was alarming. “Please, Colin, don’t harm him. He is an honorable man.”

  “An honorable man doesn’t love a married woman.”

  “He loved me before I was married.”

  “And you’re sure there is no possibility that he has fathered this child?”

  “No! Since we arrived, the only time I have even seen him alone was…,” she paused for a second and looked up at him. “the morning after our wedding. He sat with me beside the water while I cried.”

  Colin winced.

  “Then he rode with us here. Until the other day when he came to meet with us, those were our only times to be around each other. I promise on my life.”

  She forced him to look at her. “I have always been honest with you. Colin, he has never touched me beyond holding me for comfort.”

  “And what you said of our first kiss, that it was your first?”

  “It was my first. Elias has never kissed me. He would never do that to you.” She reached for Colin’s arm. “I mean, not on the lips. He kissed my face when I was so sick.”

  At that revelation Colin hung his head. “Honestly, Isabel, I’ve had my suspicions, but now I find I’m taken off guard by your admission. I expected a denial. This completely alters my reality of everything I’ve known with you. Even my vision of the time of your illness is altered. Rather than a heroic woman lying ill after tending the sick, I see a disloyal woman being cared for by the man she has given her heart to.”

  She had no defense of her actions. “I’m sorry, Colin.”

  “This changes everything between us.” Colin stood and made his way back toward their horses.

  Isabel followed along behind him. Once he helped her to mount her horse, he mounted as well, and they made the trip back to the palace in near silence. The few times she attempted to talk to him, he held his hand out indicating that she stop.

  When they returned to the stables, Colin dismounted and helped her to do the same. They walked the path toward the palace together, but as they entered the gardens, he turned and went another way. Isabel continued on and made her way to her room.

  At supper that night Isabel entered the room unsure what she might encounter. That night, only a few would join them for supper, so this would be a more intimate gathering of twenty or so in the dining hall rather than the larger banquet hall. Because of that, she couldn’t simply blend in with the conversation as when a hundred or more were present.

  All afternoon she had agonized over what Colin might do to Elias upon his return the following day. She should have denied her feelings for Elias but found in the moment that she couldn’t bring herself to lie to Colin. From the beginning they had each been honest with the other, something that was likely what made them work as well as they did.

  Isabel took her seat next to Colin.

  He leaned in. “I should have never walked away as I did today. I know we have more to discuss, but I needed time to think this through.”

  “Please, Colin,” she kept her voice low, “don’t hurt him. He’s done nothing wrong.”

  “Loving my wife is wrong by anyone’s standards.”

  “It was never intentional for either of us.”

  Colin moved back from her and tried to eat his meal. He would lift his fork and then set it back on the plate. Occasionally he would look over at her.

  Colin finally said, “Would you like for me to excuse us both?”

  She only glanced up at him. “Please do.”

  After he did so, he took her hand and together they walked from the room. Once alone in the corridor, he leaned against the wall, sighed, and buried his face in his hands. “Isabel.”

  She stepped into him and reached for his hands. “Please look at me. I’m sorry I allowed it. At the time, knowing you would never love me, I was hurt and scared of what my future would look like. The thought that a man as remarkable as Elias would love me took the sting out of what I was about to endure.”

  He shook his head. “That’s supposed to make this acceptable?”

  “No. There is no excuse for my behavior. I just wanted you to understand what prompted it.”

  She stepped back. “I will never talk to him. I will never look at him. No one will ever know I once had feelings for him. I promise.” She hung her head. “Please, just don’t hurt him for giving me what you couldn’t.”

  With that, knowing she could say no more to alter Colin’s ultimate decision in the matter, she turned and walked away.

  Later that night, Isabel was sitting on the chaise near the fire in her room when Colin opened her door and stepped inside.

  “I see you didn’t eat,” he said.

  She looked at the tray he had sent up for her and shook her head. “How could I?”

  He came to stand before her. When she scooted over enough so that he could sit, he did and rested his hand on her leg.

  “
I didn’t react well to your admission. It surprised me more than anything. As often as the thought crossed my mind, I could hardly believe you capable of it.”

  She placed her hand on his. “You reacted well considering the admission.” The look on his face, one of disappointment, saddened her. “I had no right to give my heart away.”

  “Since earlier, I’ve thought of little else but what you said, that he has given you what I can’t. How can I fault you for wanting to be loved? I’ve known what it feels like, so how can I ask you to never know love?”

  “I do know it now, and I promise you, I will never act on it.”

  “I’m not asking that of you. I’m asking you to remain discreet.”

  Her eyes widened. “Discreet?”

  “Yes. I won’t stand in the way of your continued friendship. When you spend time with him, though, I am asking that you not allow your feelings to show, nor his. You must be in the company of others – never alone.” He turned to her. “Do you understand how imperative that is? You must never give cause for suspicion.”

  She nodded. “So we have your blessing?”

  “Maybe not my blessing but certainly my understanding.” He squeezed her hand. “What we have matters to me. You matter to me. I regret how I’ve hurt you. Even more, I regret that I can’t give you what you need. You deserve to be loved, if even from afar.”

  He looked down at their adjoined hands. “I’m asking that you remain faithful, as I will always be faithful to you.”

  “You have my word, Colin.”

  “I believe you.” He traced his thumb across her cheek. “I would like to come to you until your symptoms begin, until we know you have conceived.”

  She looked away, his words wounding her more than she would want him to see. “I understand.”

  Colin tilted her head up to look at him. “What is it?”

  “You said until my symptoms begin, meaning you will stop then.”

  His eyes narrowed. “That bothers you?”

  “Of course it bothers me. What we have matters to me, too.”