A Thousand Blessings - Book One (Blessings Series 1)

by Lisa Heaton

“I did.”

  “Did you pray?”

  “Without ceasing.”

  Isabel thought back to the previous Sunday. It was the first day she had ventured out without William. Because she had missed so many Sundays since his birth, she was eager to attend chapel. While sitting in her usual seat waiting for the service to begin, a hush fell over the crowd. When she turned, she found Colin walking down the aisle, making his way toward her. As if it was the most natural thing in the world, he took the seat next to her and reached for her hand. Even now the moment caused her to smile. Her husband was returning to God.

  While taking a break from dancing, Isabel stood with Colin as one after another continued their approach. She was well-wished out for the night. For the moment, with no one standing near, they stood together chatting – about their son of course.

  “Welcome back, Queen Isabel.”

  Both Isabel and Colin turned at the exact same time to find Elias there to greet her. When Elias reached for her hand and lowered his head, Isabel was relieved when he never made contact with his lips. With as much composure as she could muster, she nodded. “Thank you, Commander.”

  Elias looked at Colin directly in the eye. “Your Majesty, congratulations on the return of your queen.”

  “Thank you, Commander.”

  Elias moved along leaving them both speechless.

  Colin only said, “That was kind of him.”

  “Yes.” She was only now catching her breath.

  “You know, he will be leaving at the end of the week for his new assignment.”

  “I didn’t know, but I wish him well.”

  After that little more was said on any topic.

  ***

  In the aftermath of the awkward moment with the commander, Colin and Isabel had drifted apart in the crowd. It was easier on both of them that way. At the moment Colin was scanning the room, looking for her, planning to draw her back by his side. The last thing he would allow was the commander’s approach to undermine the wonder of the night he had shared with his wife.

  Since they had parted ways, Isabel had stayed with Fina and Phillip, but the couple was now chatting alone. Scanning still, beginning to wonder if she had stepped out, he caught a glimpse of the sparkling blue fabric of Isabel’s dress as she ducked behind a curtain leading to a hall of private rooms.

  Because he hadn’t seen the commander as he looked for Isabel, Colin had to wonder if they were meeting to talk in private. Had the commander passed her a note when he had taken her hand? The possibility of it infuriated him, so he set out with the intention of putting a stop to whatever liaison they might be planning.

  Colin moved and shoved people out of his way until he reached the curtain and dashed down the corridor. The first door he came to, he burst in and found an empty room. At the second door he did the same but this time found his wife there nursing their son.

  “Here you are.” He tried to steady his breathing and hide his relief, especially when he saw a soft smile form on her lips.

  “Your son needed his mama before bed.”

  Colin sat nearby. “Do you mind if I stay?”

  “Of course not.”

  He didn’t say much while Nanny Faye was there, but once she took William and left the room, he reached for Isabel’s hand. “Can we stay for a while?”

  “If you would like.”

  “I would. We rarely have time alone.”

  “I’m sorry. That’s my fault.”

  Colin nodded. “True enough.”

  “I suppose I deserved that.”

  He traced his finger along her collar bones from one side all the way to the other. “Come back to me.”

  She looked down. “I want to.”

  He tilted her chin up to look at him. “What’s hindering you? I’ve tried to be patient and wait for you, but if you’ll simply tell me what’s broken, I’ll fix it straight away.”

  “There is one thing you can do.”

  “I will do many things.”

  “I ask that you send her away.”

  “Who?”

  “Eliza, send her away.”

  Colin said, “Oh,” as a long and regret-filled sigh.

  Isabel looked away and her eyes filled with tears.

  Colin bowed his head. “She will be gone at first light.”

  Isabel looked back at him, a flash of anger crossing her face. “She will be gone before we make love again.”

  He nodded. “The moment we walk out that door, I will make it so.”

  When she remained quiet, he had to ask, “That’s what this has been about?”

  “Of course. How would you expect me to react?”

  “To confront me. We could have talked this through long before now. I’ve been crazed wondering why you had pulled away from me.”

  “I wasn’t sure I could handle knowing the truth.”

  “What do you know so far?”

  “Just what she implied.”

  He drew in a sharp breath. “Which was?”

  “That she's your mistress.”

  “That’s not true at all. Will you allow me to tell you what happened?”

  “I think it’s time that I know.”

  “Will you hear me out?”

  “I will.”

  “I was almost with her, but I didn’t go through with it.”

  “Almost? Like naked in your bed almost?”

  “No. She was never in my bed.”

  “Her bed?”

  “Not exactly.” When Isabel tried to pull her hand from his, he held on.

  “I’m not saying any of this is justified – it’s not, but it is the entire truth. I owe you that.” He bowed his head and drew in a deep breath. “When I believed you were seeing Elias again, I was so angry that I began flirting back and responding to what were once unwelcomed advances.” He paused and looked her in the eye. “We did kiss – twice. Not long passionate ones but quick ones in stolen moments. I regret it more than I can ever express.” He looked away. “After taking so long to kiss you, I don’t know what I was even thinking other than I wanted to hurt you back.”

  He looked at her again. “This is the worst part: One night she asked me to come to her room, so I went. It was the night you barred me from your room.”

  He gripped her hands tighter. “She undressed, and I just stood there, unable to go to her. All I kept thinking was, this isn’t Isabel. In that moment I wanted nothing more than to be with you.” He forced her to look him in the eye. “I promise you, I did not touch her. I left right that minute and have avoided her since.”

  “And there was nothing more than that?”

  “Nothing.”

  Isabel pulled her hands from his and stood. Colin watched as she walked the floor. Back and forth she went. A few times she would come to a stop near him and begin to speak then resume walking again.

  Eventually, she returned to her seat. “And nothing like that will ever happen again?”

  “No, never. I’ve been sick carrying this secret, terrified that you would find out.” He hung his head. “I couldn’t imagine you knowing what I had done while you were carrying William. As many hurtful things as I’ve done to you, that was the worst by far.”

  “Why didn’t you just send her away? Why is she still here where I have to see her?”

  “She is here to find a proper husband. My actions have hindered that. If I sent her away, responsibility for her future would fall to Edgar. I had hoped she would make a connection and be gone soon enough. It was a colossal mistake to allow her to remain here at the palace.” He shook his head at his own foolishness. “Besides that, I felt guilty for how I had led her on. I used her while I was angry at you. I know I hurt her with my actions.

  “I’m sorry she said anything to you. It should have come from me first. I could have never told you while you were carrying William. Then afterward, I just couldn’t bring myself to form the words, especially with the distance between us. I feared I would lose you altogether if you knew.
I had no idea this was what caused your conflict. Please forgive me for not telling you before. Please forgive me for my betrayal. No matter my reasoning at the time, it was a rotten thing.”

  Isabel leaned into him. “I have been so afraid to confront you about her, afraid of what I might discover. After my actions with Elias, I wondered if I even had a right to confront you. Honestly, I didn’t have the strength to fight for you, so it was easier not to know. I felt fat and unattractive and couldn’t possibly face her.” She paused a second and closed her eyes. “I didn’t want you to see us side by side.”

  “Is that why you have refused to be with me in the evenings, because you thought I might compare you to her?”

  She nodded.

  “You have lost your mind! She could never hold a candle to you. I swear to you, she never appealed to me any more than as a diversion, and that was only fleeting.

  “But you…” He looked down and sighed. “You have completely stolen my everything: my attention, my mind, my heart. There is nothing of me that doesn’t belong completely to you now.

  “She is nothing to me and never was. Tonight, she will be gone, just like Elias will soon be gone.

  “Do you know that’s why I came bursting in here tonight like some madman? I wondered if he had secretly asked you to meet with him. I was tearing down the corridor, anticipating finding the worst. His presence will always threaten me because I know he once meant so much to you. Even if you never loved him as I long for you to love me, I still feel threatened.”

  “Colin, I do love you. Without reservation or condition – no matter how you feel – I choose to love you.”

  He blinked long and hard before looking back at her, a smile forming on his face. “I want to respond to the fact that you’ve just told me you love me for the very first time, and I can easily now declare my undying, heart-bursting, I-would-give-up-my-kingdom love for you, but we must finish this, clear away all the rubble and debris that remains that may cause us to stumble.

  “I need you to hear me when I say this; you once said I may never love you as I did Melody. There is no comparison. I did love her; I will never deny that, but she was the moon while you are the sun. No comparison whatsoever. Do you hear me?”

  When she nodded, eyes wide with love, he continued. “I pray that he was only your moon. Please allow me to be your sun, your thousand blessings and not your one sorrow.

  “I know how I’ve hurt you. Countless times I’ve hurt you, but that ends now. I will never run again or try to keep you at arm’s length out of fear. I will spend the rest of my days running to you, never away.”

  Isabel sighed, beaming up at him. “Can we go back to the part where you declared your undying, heart-bursting, you-would-give-up-you-kingdom love for me?”

  “We can.” He was holding her face in his hands once again, looking into her dancing brown eyes. “You do and always will have my undying, heart-bursting, I-would-give-up-my-kingdom love. I’ve wanted to say this for weeks now, but with you so far from me…” He paused and shook his head. “I don’t know, I just felt I was supposed to show you, at least until I understood what you were so conflicted over. Maybe part of me feared you were still dealing with letting go of Elias.”

  He rested his head on hers. “I adore you and love you and desire you and need you. I should have told you at least a thousand times by now.”

  Colin wiped a tear from her cheek. “Can we go back to the part where you said you love me for the first time?”

  “We can.” She touched his cheek and traced her finger along his jaw. “From the very beginning my heart threatened to love you. It knew all along where it belonged – even when that seemed like the most frightening place. Now, I can imagine no safer place to entrust my heart. I love you without hesitation, without fear.” She looked away. “If only I had allowed that sooner…”

  He turned her back to look at him. “Tell me more.”

  “Colin, our shade of love isn’t pale as I once feared it might be. It’s bold and vibrant – hard fought for. I believe that must be the best shade of love, one worth the fiercest battle. I will love you all the days of my life. I should have said that at least a thousand times by now.”

  “No more falling rocks.” Colin said. “We’ve finally made it. As king, I declare a new rule: I am only yours and you are only mine.”

  “Agreed. I am yours and you are mine.”

  Together they walked arm in arm down the corridor toward the great hall. He stopped just before they rejoined their guests. With a broad wave of his hand above her chest, he shook his head. “New rule: no more of all this! You have run me crazy with jealousy tonight.”

  Her cheeks caught fire. “I will meet with the dressmakers tomorrow.”

  “You will.” He lowered his head and kissed her exposed neck. “And in the meantime…” He trailed kisses up her neck and to her ear. “We must hurry to our room and remove this dress. Purely for medicinal purposes lest you faint.”

  “Oh, purely.”

  “My only concern is for your health, of course.”

  “Of course. You are a caring man.”

  He stood for a moment looking at her, dreading the task ahead of him. “Why don’t you go on up, and I will be along soon.”

  “I suppose you would like to speak with Eliza alone?”

  “Yes. I think it best.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Too bad. I will be right by your side.”

  “As you wish, my queen.”

  “New rule: no more…” She grimaced. “No more Elizas.”

  He arched his eyebrows. “New rule: No more El –”

  She held up her hand. “I know. Agreed.”

  With a kiss on her nose, he whispered, “New rule: only us.”

  “Only us.”

  Eliza was brought into Colin’s study where he and Isabel waited.

  “Eliza.” Isabel was the first to speak to the frightened woman.

  “Your Majesty.” Eliza curtseyed.

  Isabel looked up at Colin and then back at Eliza. “The king has clarified things rather well, which leaves me feeling sorry for you. Clearly you have no idea how a real queen is treated.”

  Eliza’s cheeks flushed and she didn’t dare look up at the king.

  “Your implications were not at all accurate unless you want to dispute the king’s version of what transpired between you two.”

  Eliza opened her mouth to speak but then closed it again. All she could do was shake her head.

  Colin said, “I can never justify my behavior or express enough my regret over what happened between us. I have given my wife a full account and have asked for her forgiveness. But you, Eliza, the cruelty you demonstrated by your actions toward my wife were just as disgraceful.”

  He glared at her. “You are to pack your belongings and leave this palace at once. A carriage will be ordered to take you to your uncle’s house. As soon as transport can be arranged, you are to return to your parents’ home. Never will you be welcome here again, no matter the effect on your future.”

  Without looking up at either of them, Eliza nodded her understanding.

  Isabel leaned in. “I truly pity you.”

  Eliza nodded once more and rushed from the room.

  With the final falling rock behind them, Colin and Isabel made their way toward their chamber, still making new rules for their life together:

  “New rule,” Colin declared with a smile. “You dance with me more than with any other.”

  “Agreed.”

  “New rule:” she said. “You will dance with only me.”

  “Agreed.” Colin lifted his wife’s hand to his lips. “I love you.”

  She was beaming up at him. “I can hardly blame you.”

  Prior to going into their room, they stopped off in the nursery to check in on William. They stood together and watched him sleep. After a moment, leaning in close to Isabel, Colin whispered, “Please never tell him.”

  “Tell him what?”

  “Tha
t I chose your life over his. I don’t think he should know that.”

  “I will never tell.”

  After so many weeks separated in heart, Colin led his bride to their room. This would be the first time he made love to her in many months. Oddly enough, he felt nervous, as if this were the first time.

  He sat on the side of the bed and stared at her. Irrational fear overtook him. “I once made a promise to you that I must now break.”

  She went to stand before him. “What is it?”

  “I said I would never be careful with you.” He broke into a cold sweat at even the memory of those alarming moments in this very bed. “I will never endanger you that way again. William is enough.”

  She took his face in her hands. “If that’s your idea of a new rule, I won’t agree to it.”

  “I’m being serious.” He grabbed her wrists and pulled one hand to his lips.

  “I am too.” Isabel wrapped her arms around Colin’s neck. “For now, we won’t have to worry. Nanny Faye says that while I’m nursing William I won’t likely conceive.”

  “Then after.”

  “Still no.” She moved to sit with him. “I can’t imagine not having more children with you. We have to trust God will carry me through.”

  He sat for a moment, wondering if he had told her his prayer prior to walking into her room the night she had William. If he did, he didn’t recall, but that was it exactly, that God would carry her through.

  “What is it?”

  Colin shook his head. “Just thinking of something, of a prayer I once prayed.”

  She smiled. “Was it answered?”

  “It was.”

  “Colin?”

  “Yes, my love.”

  “I thought you planned to save me from this dress.”

  “How could I have forgotten?” He chuckled and nudged her from the bed to stand before him, back facing him. He began to unlace her dress, his fingers fidgeting as if he had never unlaced a gown. With a soft sigh, he leaned in close and spoke near her ear. “I have a feeling I’ll finally get this right.”

  No matter what, he would get this right and be the husband she had long deserved.

  “It’s about time.”

  Epilogue

  “I can’t wait to live here someday.” If it were up to Colin, he would move there that very day.