The Ravens of Death (Tsun-Tsun TzimTzum Book 4)

by Mike Truk

  I need you, I said. I need you to return to us. I understand why you left, but it’s infinitely worse without you. Come back.

  She studied me, expression grave.

  Valeria has been badly hurt, I said. Both her hands were cut off at the wrist.

  A single vertical line appeared between her brows, but still, she made no comment.

  You must return. Where are you? How can we reunite?

  I am still in Ur-Gharab. The regent and her allies are very powerful. Evading their notice has taken all my effort.

  Again, my heart leaped with hope. We’re back here, too. In Emelias’s suite. You can return easily, then, and -

  No, said Neveah. I’m sorry, Noah. But my intentions have not changed.

  Damn your intentions, I said. We’re going to fail without you. We can’t cross five realms in three weeks, and if we give Valeria time to heal her hands, then it’ll be only one. We need you, Neveah.

  I am your death sentence, she replied, voice calm. Lilith’s greatest servants implanted this curse upon me, and each of them knows the phrase that will draw forth my demon. There is no reason to think Morgana doesn’t know it, or any of the guardians that await you below. At any moment they could utter that dread phrase and doom us all.

  We won’t even get to them if you’re not with us, I cried. Don’t you see? You’re dooming us regardless by staying away. At least with us, we have a chance, we can plan, we can take them by surprise -

  Neveah floated toward me. Reaching out with one pale hand to cup my cheek, her blazing spirit eyes searched my face with tenderness and regret. If I could, I would have this any other way. With all my heart, Noah. I never thought I’d love again after Ilandro, but you proved me wrong. Please. This hurts me more than I can say. Please respect my desires in this. Only once I am cleansed of this demon will I be free to return to your side.

  The desire to protest was sharp within me, but the pain in her face stilled my tongue. My hope, my desire, which had flared up within my chest, died down to ashes, and I hung my head.

  Don’t despair, she said, voice soft as she drew away. There is always room for hope while we yet breathe and live. Don’t despair, Noah. I will never give up on you, or our quest. I swear it by all that I am.

  Then she relaxed, her body curling up once more, and again she assumed a fetal position, eyes closing, expression turning slack.

  The corruption came stealing back, passing beneath me. Once again, the entirety of the sphere was enveloped in its filth.

  For a spell I hovered there, staring at Neveah in wounded shock, then I opened my eyes to return to the pool room. Brielle and Imogen were intently watching me.

  “She won’t come back,” I said, voice wooden. “We have to proceed without her.”

  * * *

  I tugged at the hem of my new tunic once more as the portal opened before me to the queen’s bedchamber. My new clothing was tight across the shoulders and chest, loose across the middle. Black and gray, severe and formal. It matched my mood, and thus I’d allowed Emelias to insist I wear it.

  I had showered, shaved, and done everything suggested, holding firmly on only one point.

  I wouldn’t leave Shard behind.

  It hung comfortingly from my hip, incongruous.

  My companions had studiously avoided giving even the closest appearance of judgment. They knew I did this through obligation, that through this act I had bought Valeria the chance at survival.

  There was no judgment from them, but that did nothing to alleviate the dark clouds of my own mind. I stared through the portal for a long second, not seeing its black roiling heart. I felt numb. But under that numbness, I could feel the maelstrom of anger, of deep and bitter rage.

  Once again, I was being forced to move to a square on the chessboard against my desires. Once again, I was being a puppet, manipulated, directed against my will.

  But all I had to do was think of Valeria, her severed hands, her body slowly gaining strength and lost vitality upon that black altar, and my anger ebbed, becoming stark resignation.

  What choice did I have in this matter?

  None.

  What choice had I ever had in any of this?

  None.

  Fine. If the price of Valeria’s life was fucking the Morathi queen, then I’d fuck her. Fuck her and be done.

  I stepped through the portal, not glancing back, not catching one last sight of my companions.

  In this, I was truly alone. As it should be.

  This was my weight to bear, my burden to shoulder.

  I emerged into the same bedchamber as before. The glossy black floor, the great four-poster bed, the black drapes that obscured the obsidian walls, the lightless reaches of the ceiling.

  The sole source of illumination was a single candle burning atop the table, its light reflected by the oval mirror.

  Alusz sat there, once more brushing her hair, but now her motions were slow. Her expression, caught in the reflection, was pensive.

  We locked eyes, and the brush stilled in her hand.

  “Your royal majesty,” I said, voice steeped in resentment and anger.

  “Savior.” She turned to regard me directly. Gone was the look of disinterest, of boredom. Now she scrutinized me with open curiosity - curiosity, but not excitement. I saw no lust in her intelligent gaze, no sign of pleasure at my predicament, at this arrangement.

  “I am sorry for your companion,” she said, the words measured, sounding almost rehearsed. “I would that this had not come to pass.”

  “So do I.” It felt petulant to be angry at her, but perhaps I still had some growing up to do.

  She gestured to an upholstered chair set beside her table.

  Stiffly, reluctantly, I walked over and sat.

  “I know you don’t wish to do this,” she said.

  My silence was answer enough.

  “For that matter, nor do I. Thus, I propose an alternative: we’ll wait an appropriate length of time, then you can return to your quarters. We’ll lie and tell Morgana that you ravished me. What think you?”

  I studied her pale, beautiful face. She had to be - what - eighteen, nineteen? A year or two younger than myself. It was an intelligent, thoughtful face, made the more strikingly beautiful for it. Her skin was pale as milk, like every other Morathi, and I wondered suddenly as to her life, her years growing up in this palace. Did she ever get outside? Ever leave these dull and dreary chambers?

  “You would do that?” I asked. “Lie to your regent?”

  Her smile was sardonic as she turned back to her reflection. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

  “She would know,” I said.

  “How?” She resumed brushing her long, lustrous hair. “If we both swear it, she might suspect but be unable to prove it.”

  Something ugly arose within me, something made hard and brutal by everything that had happened to me these past days. “Are you a virgin?”

  Alusz raised an eyebrow, but that was her only reaction as she continued to brush her hair. “No.”

  “Oh.” I considered. “That would have been a giveaway. Of our not…”

  “Yes. But you need not concern yourself with that detail. Morgana thought it appropriate for me to have some experience in those matters. I have been… thoroughly educated.”

  “Then why does she want this?” I turned to regard her. “Why angle for our…”

  “Fucking?” Alusz’s smile was surprisingly mature. “Come, Savior. You can’t imagine?”

  “To break my spirit?” I looked down at my hands. “To… complicate my worldview? To entangle me with you?”

  “Entangle you with me? Yes. She knows me. Knows that my heart does not belong to Lilith, and yet. Here I am, ruling in her name. Well. ‘Ruling.’”

  “You don’t love Lilith?”

  Her smile became mocking. “You find it hard to believe? Of course. But no. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been forced to wear this crown my whole life and kept closeted in here l
ike some manner of rare bird. But regardless. No. I don’t love Lilith. Fortunately for her and Morgana, they don’t need my love to make use of me. Hence this moment here and now.”

  “Why haven’t they replaced you, then? Or corrupted you?”

  “Who says they’re not trying? That this is part of their process?”

  That hit me. “You’re saying this is about you, not me?”

  Her lips curved in amusement. “Oh, but you are the narcissist.”

  “I’m the Tenth and last Savior,” I said wryly. “I think I’m entitled.”

  “Fair enough. But yes. Corruption on all sides, enough for everyone, everywhere. Such is Lilith’s bounty, and so forth. But I think they’ve kept me for another reason.”

  “What’s that?”

  She didn’t answer at once but continued instead to study herself in the mirror, slowly brushing her hair. Her brush, I saw, was ornate; its silver backing was whorled and inscribed with complex patterns that drew the eye and held it. Magical?

  “My reluctance is my true value, I think.” Her voice had become dreamy, detached. “What use a second Morgana, as perfidious and dedicated as the first? No. They know of my resentments, my independence, and they’ve allowed it to blossom. I’ve had many long hours to think about this paradox, Savior.”

  “And your conclusion?”

  “That they mean to use me as bait. To lure you into danger. The poor, isolated young beauty, a pure soul amongst such Morathi darkness. They mean for us to connect, to bond, then use that bond against you.”

  I sat back, considering her, feeling the truth behind her words. Wasn’t that what was happening? Where had my anger gone? My resentment and bitterness? Already I was seeing Alusz in a different light.

  “So you’re a victim,” I said. “A pawn on their chessboard just like me.”

  “Yes. I think so.”

  “And when you come of age?”

  She shrugged a slender shoulder. “Most likely I’ll be deposed, and disappear. Oh, it need not mean my death, though that’s possible. But probably I’ll be sent to a nunnery or some other obscure place to worship Lilith in name only till I die. But there is little sense in focusing on something that will happen only three years hence. By then you will have died or succeeded, and my fate will be meaningless compared to Lilith’s victory.”

  “Which you oppose?”

  She paused, lips pursed, considering my question. “I suppose I do. Though I think it inevitable. Perhaps it is more accurate to say I resent it.”

  “Resent the end of the universe,” I said.

  She smiled. “I hear your mockery. But has Lilith failed so far? Each Savior has been broken. Some in the first sphere, some in the last, but all have bent knee to her. Even Golden Pelleas, the first and greatest. Does he now not serve her with all his undead heart? He does. You must therefore excuse me if I think her odds are great.”

  “Fair enough.” I leaned forward, elbows on knees, to rub my thumb in one calloused palm. How my hand had changed.

  “However, my thoughts have not merely been focused on Morgana’s objectives. I’ve also given thought to how we can best foil her hopes.”

  “Yeah?” I looked up at her. “By not fucking?”

  “Well, yes, that.” Her smile was just shy of pitying, an upward tilt of the corner of her mouth. “But our true rebellion must be to not develop any regard for each other whatsoever. That is what she hopes for. That I, a deprived, sensitive girl, will fall for the handsome Savior, who in turn will pity this poor queen and seek a way to aid her, to help her escape the castle and journey with him to Malkuth, or some such.”

  She shook her head with dark amusement. “Therefore, we must do the opposite. I suggest we sit here in silence for however long you deem appropriate, and then I will summon your portal and you can go back to your companions.”

  Suddenly restless, I stood and began to pace, darting glances at Alusz as she resumed brushing her already flawless hair. I reached the drape-covered wall, turned, and crossed the room again.

  Was she right? It felt right. The kind of shit someone like Victor would have come up with - an attempt to manipulate my base emotions, use my goodness against me. My compassion, my empathy, my pity.

  If so, then Alusz was right to resist it.

  But damn it, if it wasn’t already working. I couldn’t help but admire this solitary girl. She was clearly intelligent, clearly stronger than Morgana gave credit. And she was confident, too; she’d discussed every element of this plan without doubt or hesitation.

  I wanted to ask her about herself, learn about her upbringing. But those very impulses were signs that she was right.

  I reached the far wall and turned.

  “Very well. Let’s give it twenty or so minutes. That should be enough.”

  She looked at me through the mirror. “So short? I must admit I’m disappointed.”

  I blushed, went to protest, then caught myself. “This was to be a business-like engagement, right? Twenty minutes is fine.”

  “If you say so.” She turned back to herself and resumed brushing her hair.

  I resumed pacing.

  The minutes dragged out. Morgana would clearly know. Fucking left you flustered, your heart rate raised, your irises dilated, all kinds of shit. The second she saw Alusz sitting there, all composed with perfect hair, she’d know what hadn’t happened.

  Was Alusz right? Would that matter, if we both swore that we’d fucked?

  I stopped halfway across the room.

  I’d already sworn to do my part of this bargain if we used Morgana’s token.

  I had used it.

  If I didn’t fuck Alusz now, I’d break my word to the Source.

  I palmed my face and groaned.

  “What is it?” asked the young queen.

  “Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.” I moved back to the chair and sank into it. “We have to go through with this. If I don’t, I’ll break my vow to Morgana. I can’t do that.”

  She stilled, staring at me through the mirror once more. “You’re sure?”

  “Yes.” I leaned forward again to bury my face in my hands. “Yes, I’m sure.”

  “What were the exact words of your vow?”

  “You were there.”

  “Repeat them regardless. I would hear them spoken aloud. Perhaps there’s a way to observe the letter and not the spirit.”

  My face burned. “She said I had to come inside you at least once.”

  Alusz didn’t move, sitting as if frozen, but I saw her expression harden, her eyes blaze with a fury all of her own.

  “That whore,” she hissed.

  “You can say no,” I said. “I will not do this against your will.”

  Alusz gave a hollow laugh. “You think I have a choice in the matter?”

  “That’s what they keep telling me. That we all have a choice.”

  “I am the queen of the Morathi. Even if reluctantly. I will not turn you away, Savior, if that is the will of the regent.” She sat, stiff-backed, and her voice had taken on an edge of formality. “If you feel compelled to fulfill your oath, then I, as the representative of my people and Lilith, will do my part.”

  “Well, fuck,” I said, pinching the bridge of my nose. “That’s just great.”

  “Yes,” she said, shoulders slumping. “Isn’t it?”

  We sat in silence. I examined the problem from all angles. Morgana had made it clear that purposefully activating her token meant my accepting her terms in the name of the Source. I’d done so willingly, aware of the price I’d have to pay to save Valeria’s life - which meant I would break a vow to the Source if I refused to comply.

  Damn it, I’d been ready to get it done before Alusz had made me think there was a way to get out of this.

  Before she’d humanized herself and made the whole matter infinitely more complex.

  “Enough,” said Alusz, and rose to her feet. “If we must do this, then let us get it over with.”

  “Yeah,” I said
, my voice was little more than a croak.

  She seemed to hesitate, considering the desk before her, then bit her lower lip, looking at the bed.

  “Come on,” I said, rising to my feet. “I’ll not do you bent over a table. If we must do this thing, we might as well have some dignity about it.”

  “Fair enough,” she said, and gathered her skirt to precede me to her four-poster. At its edge, she hesitated again, then turned to sit. “You’ll excuse me if I do not undress.”

  “I’ll excuse just about anything right now,” I said.

  “Then… I’ll lie down like so.” She lifted her legs to lie on her side, facing off the edge of the bed, one hand slipping under her cheek. “You approach me from the other side of the bed.”

  Heart hammering, unsure of myself, and fighting the arousal that was awakening within me, I did as I was bid.

  Sitting, I removed my boots, then crossed the bed to lie behind her, our bodies but a few inches apart.

  She was breathing more quickly, I realized. She’d gathered her black hair before lying down and tucked it under her neck; it spilled before her and over the edge of the bed, leaving the nape of her neck bare.

  “Here,” she said. With both hands she pulled up her skirt, hiking it up behind her so that I saw her dark stockings and the pale expanse of thigh between her knee and ass. She wore undergarments, which she hesitated on lowering, hooking her thumbs under their edge but pausing.

  “We don’t have to do this,” I said again. My voice sounded strange to my own ears. “I knew what I was getting into when I used Morgana’s token, but you don’t have to agree to this.”

  “No,” she said, voice firm. “This is my duty. It helps that I don’t find you completely unpleasing to the eye. Or that… on some level, I suppose, this isn’t something I’ve not considered in private. Even… well. No matter. We both are symbols of sorts, are we not? We both have offices to discharge. Responsibilities. I accept mine. You accept yours. Therefore… let us…”

  She trailed off, then, abruptly, pulled her panties down over the swell of her ass and to her knees.

  “There,” she said, tucking both hands under her cheek. “I trust you know what to do from this point on.”