The Complete Gargoyle and Sorceress Boxset (Books 1-9)

by Lisa Blackwood

  Chapter 22

  NIGHT ADVANCED TOWARD dawn. Everyone else had sought their beds long before, and now the house was quiet. Lillian sat on the floor next to Gregory with her back braced against the foot of her bed. They would have moved him, but no one wanted to risk waking the gargoyle. She smoothed her smaller hand over his and admired the finger-length talons. Yep, disturbing a sleeping gargoyle could be bad for one’s health.

  They had left him on the ground and covered him in blankets.

  Since it hadn’t seemed right sleeping in a bed when he was curled on the floor, Lillian sat with him. By chance, she witnessed the oddest thing.

  He was healing.

  She could see his flesh knitting together until the shallowest of his injuries looked like old scars, and the worst of the damage—the knife wound and his shredded wing—seemed at least two weeks old. Whether he healed because it was a gargoyle’s nature to recover quickly, or he mended faster than usual because she kept in physical contact and shared energy with him, she didn’t know, but she was ecstatic at the signs of his recovery.

  Now that she knew with both heart and mind that he was on the mend, other things started to encroach upon her consciousness. She stank. For the second time in as many days, gore coated her skin, and her hair was matted in rotting Riven blood and other nasty substances she didn’t want to think about.

  She left the gargoyle asleep on the floor and made her way over to her bathroom, shedding the remains of her leather outfit as she went. She adjusted both showerheads for complete annihilation and cranked the water as hot as she could stand. Then she stood and let the steaming water soak the crud from her body. Touching it or fouling a sponge with the crap just seemed wrong. When the water ran clear, she slathered herself in soap.

  She was on her hair’s third shampooing when she noticed a big, black shadow waiting on the other side of the shower’s glass partition. She twitched and bit back her scream—well, mostly. A tiny yelp escaped before she locked her jaws. Then she just stood there, frozen, muscles tensed, her pulse racing, fear and embarrassment battling for dominance within her.

  Hell in a handbasket! He’d nearly scared her half to death.

  She was still shaking in reaction when their gazes met and locked together.

  Then, even without the touch of skin on skin, his thoughts flowed to her, broadcasting both his overwhelming regret that he had scared her, but also his need to be near her, eager for the solace he felt in her presence.

  He needed her. His Sorceress—his oldest confidant and companion. His other half. He needed this simple, innocent intimacy. It wasn’t sexual for him. It was something else, something deeper.

  Lillian did not fully understand, but as her initial fear melted away, replaced by mellow warmth and a deep unquestioning trust, she decided she didn’t need to understand this. She just needed to accept their special link for their wellbeing.

  Knowing that her overprotective guardian would never harm her lent her a sense of confidence she hadn’t expected. Her lips curved at the corners as he continued to wait in his silent, demanding way for her to make up her mind.

  She opened the first glass partition, pushing it back until it clicked softly against the wall. It was the only sound in the room beside the splash of water. Gregory waited silently while she opened the other side.

  Another shy smile curved her lips. “When Gran renovated the master bath to include the biggest walk-in shower I’d ever seen, I thought its sheer size was obscene. Somehow it doesn’t seem so big now.”

  Her mind must have snapped and gone to a different place where modesty no longer existed. Was she going to be insanely embarrassed about this in the morning? Probably. Did she care about that now? No. Not in the least. Not when her gargoyle needed comfort so desperately that she could sense it without touching him.

  Lillian moved as close to her showerhead as she could, and he still had to squeeze in order to fit. He didn’t complain. Getting rid of rotten vampire blood must be a high priority for him, too. She smiled. He didn’t even crowd her very much.

  “This should be awkward,” she said as she applied her soapy sponge to his back. “Embarrassing. Blush-inducing. But it’s not. Why? Is... is this love?”

  Several seconds slid by without an answer.

  Since he never said much, his silence didn’t upset her. She shook her head and switched to washing a gore-splattered wing. He flexed it so she could better reach the dirt. A slow grin spread across her face at the ease with which they fell into a routine. Being with him felt as natural as brushing her hair.

  “No.”

  When her mind absorbed his belated answer, it felt like a kick in the gut.

  “No?” she prompted and continued to scrub the membrane between the stout bones so he wouldn’t know how much that one word hurt. Or how foolish she now felt.

  He paused for a long moment. Then words poured from him. “Love is the mingling of souls. A powerful emotion. And if we were like any normal souls, then yes, love would be a good word for what we share. Yet we are different. We share one spirit—a single soul between us. Like the Divine Ones, who were once one entity who chose to split into the Mother and the Father to better understand itself, we are one being in the Spirit Realm, but two outside of that place. What we share, that eternal link, is more profound than mortal love.”

  His words were shocking but also like balm to her wounds. What he said should have been outlandish—and it was—but his words fit. She more than loved him. He was a part of her. Her other self. They had known each other for an eternity. She now knew the reason she’d been drawn to him even while he’d slept in stone. Smiling, she soaped up his mane.

  “Gregory.”

  “Yes?”

  He sounded hesitant, almost fearful, and her heart turned over in her chest, expanding with emotion at his vulnerability. Poor thing. He was as lost as she in this world. “I don’t fully understand it. I’ve only known you two days, but you mean so much to me.” She was going to say more. She needed to say more, but the words wouldn’t come.

  He sighed, the contented sound rumbling over the noise of the water. “You are my world, my reason for existing. I will do all in my power to keep you safe.”

  “And I’ll try not to make your task any harder than it already is.” She ran the sponge down his back while he ducked under the showerhead and rinsed the soap from his mane. When he came back up for air, she had a bottle of conditioner at the ready. His doubtful expression told her she was walking on thin ice, putting lily-of-the-valley-scented girl products on his hair. “It will make the tangles come out easier. Trust me, when I’m yanking a comb through it, you’ll appreciate this.”

  He sighed again but let her continue. With the dirt and gore washed away, and his hair clean and tangle free, she surveyed her work. It was the most natural thing in the world to reach under his wings and fold her arms around his waist as far as she could reach.

  The skin of his back was warm and slick. His wings shifted, trapping her between them. The scent of forest and male enfolded her in a blanket as soothing as his silky wing membranes.

  Seeing the pale line from the knife wound, she stretched up onto her toes and kissed the scar. “That we share one soul explains so much. You are a part of me. At first, I was terrified by the link between us, thinking it was an enchantment or our power drawing us together. Later, I thought it was the awareness the dryads spoke of. And I very much wanted whatever was between us to be more than just a chemical reaction. I wanted something deeper, more meaningful... because it already was for me.”

  There, she’d spilled her heart. She waited with her eyes closed, barely daring to breathe.

  “Each lifetime, it has always been so for me, as well.”

  She sighed with contentment.

  Just standing there, holding him, made her mindlessly happy. When she was with him, she felt complete. Now she knew why. They shared one soul.

  She nuzzled that area where his wings attached.


  His skin was warm, his scent indescribably wild and male.

  Gregory shifted, a rumbling purring sound escaped him as he turned in her arms.

  After that deep purr subsided, only the sound of running water reached her ears. He said nothing as he stared down at her. When the silence between them became awkward, she peeked through her lashes. He was watching her with intense heat. There was nothing platonic in that look. She couldn’t hold his gaze and glanced down.

  Oh... he was... oh my.

  What was she doing?

  Still, her gaze lingered a moment longer, until she forced her head up and looked off to one side. She cleared her throat. “I should... go towel-dry my hair. You... uh. You can finish up in here.” The long-absent blush returned with a vengeance, and she bolted from the shower. She tripped in her rush but caught herself against the sink. The door of the vanity slipped out of her hand with a bang. She tore it open again. When she tried to get a towel, the stupid thing pulled several of its friends along with it. She left the mess on the floor and scooped up two before she fled to her bedroom.

  Chapter 23

  BY THE TIME GREGORY exited the bathroom, Lillian was clothed in a floor-length nightgown and housecoat, her hair dry, with the blow-dryer cooling on her nightstand, but she still didn’t have her emotions under control. They were an unruly riot she didn’t know how to sort out. While she brushed her tangle-free hair, she watched him out of the corner of her eye. When he hesitated, she gestured for him to come closer. He still didn’t move.

  “Gregory, come and sit. We need to talk.”

  Without a word, he came to stand before her, head bowed.

  She cleared her throat. “About earlier, I owe you an—”

  “I did not mean to frighten you,” he cut in.

  “You didn’t frighten me.”

  “You ran.”

  “I wasn’t afraid.”

  His brow furrowed. “Yet you ran away.”

  Lillian sighed. Damn, he was like a bloodhound with a scent. “Yes, I did. And I’m sorry. I was surprised and mishandled it. I’m an idiot. Give me an honest threat, and I’m game for battle, but toss me into an embarrassing situation, and I turn tail and run, every time. Not something I’m proud of, and I’m sorry.” She reached for his hand and pulled him down to sit on the bed next to her.

  “I’m glad you were not afraid,” he rumbled.

  With a smile, she began to pull the brush through his mane. He turned to give her better access. In the end, she sat on her haunches behind him. She was working up the nerve to ask him one question that burned brighter than the rest when he turned and looked at her with dark eyes full of knowledge. She was touching him. Of course he already knew what she was going to ask. She folded her hands in her lap and prayed for composure. The question lodged in her throat and didn’t want to come free. After three more tries, she got her voice working.

  “Do you want... I mean... clearly, you’re mature... with needs.” Lillian winced at her word choice and had a sudden urge to whack her head against a wall.

  “What occurred earlier isn’t something I’d normally let happen,” he explained. “My control is usually better, but after all that ensued tonight, the power of the dance riding us, then you feeding me blood—both acts are very similar to courtship, and I reacted.”

  Lillian sobered at his words, her reaction far closer to disappointment than relief. He wasn’t actually interested in her. She was just a warm, willing body, and she’d been all over him—literally. What a mess. She scrambled for something to say to him, something to throw him off track so he wouldn’t know how his words hurt.

  “What I’m trying to say is... if you want to spend time with one of the dryads, go ahead. You seem to think you need to guard me every waking moment, but you should take some personal time, too.”

  “Personal time?”

  She didn’t dare look up at him. “If you want to take one of the dryads as your lover, you should.”

  Another long silence followed. She started to worry at her robe tie.

  “There is one I want.” He said the words like they were dragged from his soul.

  “Then go to her and find what solace you can. You have my blessing.” The lie tasted bitter on her tongue, but it was better than shackling him with the truth. He was so loyal; he’d forgo his own needs if he thought it would make her unhappy. In this case, a small lie served the greater good—even if it was gnawing at her heart hard enough to dampen her eyes. “Go, be with your chosen one.”

  “I already am, silly dryad. How can you not know that? You’ve felt the depth of our link.” He shifted. The bed rocked as he moved. Coffee-dark eyes bored into hers a second before he embraced her, drawing her against his chest. He hid his muzzle in her hair and drew on power.

  Eyes closed, she shivered at the delicious sensation. There was a moment of great heat, and the world shifted around her. When she opened her eyes, she was lying on her back with him sprawled over her.

  Gregory, now in human form, leaned toward her, a look of tenderness on his face. She turned her head at the last moment, and he landed a kiss on her jaw instead of her lips. His miss didn’t seem to upset him, and he nuzzled her neck, inhaling her scent. Warm fingers stroked her breastbone. “You are the one thing that both calms and arouses me, my greatest and most forbidden desire.”

  Panic slammed her heart against her ribcage. He had said ‘forbidden,’ hadn’t he? She needed some answers. It was hard to think with him nuzzling his way along her neck and his nimble fingers working loose the tiny row of buttons running down the front of her nightgown. He was entirely too distracting, but she gathered her thoughts. “What’s forbidden, and why?”

  He jerked like her words were a bucket of cold water.

  “This.” His expression turned sober. A moment later he jumped from the bed and began to pace around the room. “I...” He let the sentence die as shadows thickened, hiding him.

  “No. Don’t go. Please, answer my question. What’s forbidden?”

  “My love for you—my desire—it is forbidden.” His disembodied voice floated to her from a different corner of the room. Even invisible, he still paced back and forth.

  Times like this made her wish she could go invisible, too. But now she needed answers. “Go on, I’m listening.”

  “I haven’t told you everything. I should have, but I was afraid.” His voice shook, and she could hear the torment within his rumbling tones.

  “Gregory, I know you withheld information when you said we shared one spirit. That very confession tells me there has to be more that you haven’t told me, so much more.” Lillian stood and walked in the direction she’d last heard his voice. “And I’m not so naive that I don’t see how much it hurts you to keep things from me. Talk to me. I promise I’ll try to understand, and even if I don’t understand it all, I’ll still accept it and you.”

  He continued to pace, his feet padding softly against the carpet. His voice now came to her from near the bathroom door. “We are the Avatars of the Divine Ones.”

  He said it like those eight words explained everything.

  A smile tugged at her lips. While he might not be the most forthcoming of creatures, at least she’d pinpointed where he stood. “You’re going to need to explain what that means.”

  “As their Avatars, we can wield their power. That same power always wishes to reunite and create, but we are forbidden to join outside of the Spirit Realm, for it is too dangerous. Any child we birthed would be more god than flesh.”

  “I can see how that could be a problem.” The scent of gargoyle was stronger in the northeast corner of the room.

  “Duty was enough for us in the beginning. But over the eons, each time we were reborn, we came to crave a closer link, like what we share in the Spirit Realm. More so than we had any right, we encouraged each other to deeper love. While the Divine Ones forbid us to mate with each other, we sometimes found orphaned younglings to raise. Or one of us would seek a mate else
where and bring the child back. Over the last few lifetimes, we couldn’t even do that because something had changed.” He paused.

  With her hand outstretched before her, she encountered his warm skin before she could see him. After a moment, the shadows hiding him receded and she found him still in human form, standing with his back braced against the wall, eyes staring unseeing at the floor. The need to hold him, to comfort him in whatever way she could, had her moving closer. She embraced him before he could bolt again. Then with an arm around his waist, she urged him back toward the foot of the bed. “Talk to me.”

  He took a great, shuddering breath and pulled her against his side as they sat on the end of the bed. “Six lifetimes ago, I had chosen a gryphon mate and was guarding the young when you came and dramatically claimed all of them as yours. And then, five lifetimes ago, I nearly killed your mate. You were a dragon, as was your mate. If he’d been of a more fragile nature, he wouldn’t have survived.”

  “I was a dragon?” Lillian interrupted. While she did want to learn about her past, she was more interested in distracting Gregory from his melancholy. “Guess that would make me bigger and stronger than you,” she said with a lopsided grin.

  “Superior size didn’t offer your dragon mate much protection from my wrath.”

  Lillian’s smile wilted. So much for a lighter mood. “We chose mates in an attempt to resist the deep love growing between us when we were flesh and blood, didn’t we? But it didn’t work, because jealousy got in the way.”

  “Yes, and after those two disastrous events, we wisely never tried again. We could do nothing but endure. If we weakened, even for a moment, and came together as lovers, it would lead to our deaths. The Divine Ones would have no option but to hunt us down. And there would be no rebirth this time.”

  She rested her elbows against her knees. “I’m so sorry Gregory. If I’d known, I’d have...” She paused when she realized she didn’t know what she’d have done differently. She didn’t remember who she had been. But in this lifetime, he was in pain, and she wanted to help, but if what he said was true, and she had no reason to doubt him, he could never be with the one he loved. She couldn’t make the leap to picture herself as the Sorceress, his beloved. “I’m sorry.”