Dangerous Joy

by Jo Beverley

  Felicity wanted to snatch him back into her arms and never let go, but Kieran knew nothing of the wars fought over him. To him, she was just a very friendly neighbor. She stood. "And who is your companion?"

  "That's Liam. He's my best friend here. Liam!" he called. "This is my friend, Sissity. Felicity," he corrected carefully. "Lady Aideen says I must say your name properly."

  "Any way you say it is music to my ears, poppet. Good day, Liam."

  The young man touched his forelock. "Good day, miss. Good day, Mr. Cavanagh. If you have care of the child, I'll put the boat away."

  The mere idea of letting Kieran go after such a long separation wounded Felicity, but she made herself say, "Well, Kieran? Do you wish to ride up to the house in the coach with us, or do you want to spend more time here?"

  It was clearly not an easy choice, but then he said, "Ride, please. I can boat again tomorrow." He waved to Liam and tugged Felicity back up to the coach, already chattering about a variety of servants, animals, and adventures.

  And "Uncle Kilgoran."

  When they were in the coach again, Miles and Felicity shared startled glances. When Kieran paused for breath, Miles asked, "Do you see much of Uncle Kilgoran?"

  "Every evening, sir. He likes to hear a report." And that led into a new spate of matters reported on.

  The Castle became if anything more daunting when seen close to. Smooth lawns ran up to white walls unbroken by flowers, shrubbery, or vines. Shallow marble steps climbed to double white doors open to a shiny white interior.

  No, Felicity found as they entered to be fussed around by an army of servants, there was color here—in the pale-green niches holding white marble statues.

  Thank heavens for Kieran, who seemed unawed by the chilly, echoing space as he introduced her to his favorite servants and statues.

  But then Mrs. Edey was there. "Now, Kieran, you mustn't go on so. Miss Monahan and Mr. Cavanagh will be tired after their journey." Though her voice was calm, she looked at Felicity with a worried shadow in her eyes. "Mr. Dunsmore?"

  "Seems likely to stay in England," Felicity told her and saw the shadow lift. "I think he intends to ask the earl to take care of Kieran."

  "How remarkable." But relief colored Mrs. Edey's cheeks. "Kieran is due for some lessons now. The earl likes to hear him read, and we would not want to disappoint."

  Kieran was boy enough to pull a face, but he went without complaint.

  "What this place needs," said Miles, "is a whole host of children."

  Felicity dragged her gaze from her disappearing child and looked around at marble splendor. "I'm not sure a school full of children could mellow this. But if Kilgoran Castle is our only problem, we'll be blessed."

  He kissed her hand. "Then we are blessed."

  Then Lady Aideen and Colum were there, hugging and greeting. Within moments, they were in a small, and quite cozy, drawing room, enjoying tea. Without revealing the truth about Kieran's birth, Miles explained that Dunsmore had been persuaded to relinquish control of the boy in return for a regular income.

  The mere fact that Lady Aideen did not question this made Felicity think she must suspect the truth. If so, it was not obviously affecting her manner. Miles also told his mother that he and Felicity were to be married on the twentieth, which generated only congratulations and smiles.

  "Perhaps you should be married here," said Lady Aideen.

  "Why?" asked Miles with a grimace.

  His mother's answer was uncompromising. "Because it's your future home. Felicity, would you mind being married here?"

  "I've no particular desire to be married from Foy, but could we not use Clonnagh?"

  "I'm afraid the earl cannot travel. He will want to attend."

  Felicity reminded herself that the daunting house was a minor problem. "Then certainly I have no objection."

  "Excellent! Kilgoran will make it into an excuse for a huge gathering. We must go to Dublin tomorrow to order hasty bride-clothes. I don't suppose you could wait a few more weeks...."

  "No!" said Miles and Felicity in unison, then laughed—and blushed—in unison, too.

  Aideen and Colum laughed with them, and there was no further talk of delaying the ceremony.

  Then Lady Aideen took Felicity to the rooms prepared for her—charmingly decorated in the French style. "A little fancy for my taste," said Aideen, "but at least Kilgoran wasn't mad enough to continue the classical motif throughout."

  "The Castle is a little daunting on approach."

  "Sensible Miles to win your hand before showing you this place!" She gave Felicity a warm hug. "Sensible Miles all around. I'm going to adore having you as a daughter. Now, have a rest before dinner, for Kilgoran will interrogate you afterward."

  That was one of things Felicity was afraid of. Though she was trying to be a carefree optimist, she couldn't help probing for the flaw in her happiness. Perhaps it was Kilgoran. For all Miles's confidence, surely the mighty earl could stop their marriage if he tried. Even though the earl did not know the truth about her, she was hardly the ideal bride for Kilgoran.

  Dinner was pleasant, even though attended not just by Miles, Felicity, Lady Aideen, and Colum, but by about twenty other people who appeared for the meal like weevils out of biscuit.

  "Connections," Miles murmured by way of explanation and then had to deflect a great many questions from these people about his recent doings.

  Afterward, Felicity and Miles were summoned into the earl's presence.

  The large room was hot from a leaping fire and crammed with furniture and books as if the earl had tried to gather his whole life around him in his dying days. Lord Kilgoran rested in state in an enormous bed hung with crimson damask, but there was little to him. Gaunt, yellow, and almost bald, the only thing truly alive about him was his eyes. But they were still rapier-keen.

  "Come over here and let me see you!"

  The fire was burning aromatic apple wood, and potpourri sat around the room, but nothing could disguise a smell of age and decay. Poor man, thought Felicity, as she reached the side of the bed. It's a sad way to drag out the end of a powerful life.

  "Miles, my boy!" The old man held out a bony hand, and Miles took it in a firm grasp. Respect was clear on both sides, but probably no more than that. "You're looking well. Heard you had an injury. You need to take more care of yourself. At least until you've produced an heir or two."

  "Speaking of which," said Miles, "may I present my bride-to-be, Miss Felicity Monahan of Foy." He put Felicity's hand in his uncle's, which felt like paper over bone. She squeezed it very gently.

  The sharp blue eyes studied her. "Foy, eh? I see the attraction. He's after your stud."

  Felicity couldn't resist. "We do share a great interest in riding, my lord."

  Miles pinched her, but not hard.

  "Good, that. Married couples need something in common, and riding is a fine sport. And he's been your guardian, hasn't he? Have you led him a merry chase?"

  "What else is a young woman to do in such a situation?"

  He chuckled. "Go away, Miles. I want to talk to your bride."

  Miles made no complaint, but merely pulled over a chair for Felicity and squeezed her shoulder slightly in encouragement before leaving.

  She needed the comfort. Her heart was pounding with apprehension.

  "Saw that," said Kilgoran. "Does he think I'm going to eat you? I can only eat pap these days anyway. You don't look terrified."

  "I'm not, my lord," she lied.

  "Call me Kilgoran. I'm very fond of Miles, you know."

  Felicity could think of nothing to say but "oh."

  "I'm happy to leave all this to him, but I know he'd rather I'd had sons of my own."

  "It will be a responsibility."

  "It's a demmed mausoleum. Seemed a good idea at the time. Show the world we're not bog-dwelling peasants here in Ireland.... But enough of that. Tell me why you love him."

  Felicity flinched under the sharp demand. "I don't know that
I can."

  "Must be something about him you like."

  "Everything."

  Perhaps the twist of the lips was a smile. A hint of a laugh was drowned under a dry cough. "Fair enough. I thought you might be after his stud."

  "I'm a great heiress, as it happens."

  "Are you, indeed? They didn't tell me that, blast their eyes. Good for Miles, then. You can have plenty of children and provide for them all."

  "There is that."

  "And you'll brighten this place. I could see the ties between you, like light dancing. That's what's needed here. I loved a woman like that once. She died."

  It was snapped out brusquely, but another Irish tragedy lurked behind the words.

  "Perhaps it was for the good," he muttered. "I'd not have had the time to devote to Ireland had Mary lived."

  "Then I hope Ireland doesn't need the same devotion from Miles. I've no mind to be a martyr to the cause."

  "Hah! I like a woman who can speak her mind. I'll enjoy having a daughter. I think of Miles as my son, you know." His lips twisted in a wry smile. "They thought it was strategy, my wanting to raise him here, but it was selfish greed. You've brought me a rare gift in young Kieran. I gather I'm to have charge of him."

  He suddenly fixed her with a sharp look. "His mother was a bit long in the tooth."

  "I suppose..."

  "And he has your chin. Does Miles know?"

  Felicity was gaping. "Yes," she breathed.

  "Good." A clock struck the half-hour. "Go away. It's time for him to report to me."

  Felicity left in a daze. Kieran was waiting outside with Mrs. Edey, twitching restlessly. If the earl enjoyed Kieran, it was clear the pleasure was shared. He ran in, already telling "uncle" something about duckweed.

  Mrs. Edey entered and closed the door, and Felicity turned away, experiencing another disorienting twist. When she saw Miles waiting a little further down the corridor, she went to him.

  "Did he upset you?" he asked.

  "No. Why?"

  "You look sad."

  She sighed. "It's only just occurred to me that we've arranged things so that Kieran will never call me mother."

  He took her hand. "You can tell the whole truth if you want."

  She shook her head. "The greatest burden would fall on Kieran. But thank you for the freedom to choose."

  They strolled down the long corridor. "So Kilgoran didn't frighten you. I'm glad. He's not always an easy man."

  "He's clever."

  "Oh, yes, he's certainly that."

  "Miles, he knows."

  He stopped and looked at her. "About Kieran?"

  "Yes. He must have made enquiries. He knows Kathleen was old for childbearing. He sees a resemblance. What if he—"

  He placed his fingers over her lips. "He's not going to say anything. Stop fretting about every little thing, love. Kieran's safe. My uncle approves. All our troubles are over, and on your birthday, we marry."

  "I still can hardly believe..."

  He looked at her and shook his head. "Thomasina. It will be so. Trust me."

  For his sake, she wanted to believe, but a saw-blade of doubt still fretted her. "I'm trying," she said, "very hard."

  He escorted her to her room, talking soothingly of ordinary things, but left her at the door.

  Felicity went into her room determined to try harder. All her reasons for fear had been wiped away.

  She'd still be happier if time could pass in an instant, though.

  She wanted it to be her wedding day now.

  Chapter 26

  The next day, Lady Aideen dragged Felicity off to Dublin. Miles begged off the trip, almost with horror, and Felicity wished she could, too. She was not allowed to take Kieran, which made her even more unwilling.

  "Women are supposed to show a little interest in adornment, you know," Lady Aideen teased as they studied designs at the modiste's.

  "I like a pretty dress as well as the next woman," Felicity replied, "but I can't summon any interest in the virtues of Scotia silk as opposed to merino crape, or cambric's superiority to jaconet."

  "And you want to be back at Kilgoran."

  Lady Aideen's knowing smile doubtless referred to Miles, but Felicity was just as desperate to be with Kieran.

  She wondered if this were the problem she feared—that Miles would be jealous of her love for her son. But when they rolled back down the long drive toward the Castle, they encountered three horsemen—Miles, Liam, and Kieran on a gray pony.

  Kieran waved gleefully but showed no sign of wanting to join her in the coach. Felicity waved back and let the coach continue without pause.

  Perhaps the problem would be that she would be jealous of her son's love for Miles. Felicity had written to Annie to inform her of the arrangements and invite her to the wedding. When the reply came, however, it was to say that Annie didn't want to leave her cats but expected Felicity and Miles to visit her before the wedding.

  Felicity took the letter to Miles. "I suppose there are matters to be taken care of at Foy. I don't know how Aunt Annie will get along alone."

  "She's hardly alone, and if the rest of the cats are like Gardeen..."

  "Don't be silly. Perhaps we should arrange for a companion. Do you mind the journey?"

  "A day in a coach with you?" he asked with a smile. "Not at all."

  "And what of all our fine resolutions?"

  "Consider it a test of strength."

  She shook her head. "Annie suggests we bring Kieran, so he and Mrs. Edey can be our chaperones."

  "Don't forget Gardeen."

  "Gardeen seems more attached to Kieran these days than to you or me. I do wonder why Annie's so insistent that we take Kieran, and how much she knows. She generally does seem to know the important things."

  "Then perhaps she knows we need chaperones."

  Felicity laughed, but a problem niggled her. "Is it safe to take Kieran away from here?"

  "Stop worrying, a muirnin. Dunsmore's far from here."

  Felicity couldn't help but be concerned, but she had to admit that Miles's optimistic forecasts had proved correct thus far. So, the next day, they set off in a coach, chaperoned by Mrs. Edey, Kieran, and a small black cat who now seemed firmly attached to Kieran.

  "Fickle creature, isn't she?" Miles remarked.

  "Perhaps she goes where she's most needed," said Felicity, then pushed away the idea that Kieran might need a special guardian. After all, Kilgoran had insisted that Liam and another groom come along as outriders.

  Certainly the trip passed without incident.

  At Foy, Annie greeted them quite cheerfully. "Good. You can take the horses."

  "Take them?" asked Felicity, who'd hardly had time to remove her gloves.

  "Wedding present. The Foy horses."

  Miles and Felicity shared a look.

  "That's a magnificent gift, Miss Monahan," said Miles.

  "I don't want them. Nasty big brutes. You can use them. All settled." Then her deceptively wandering gaze settled on Kieran. "And here's the boy."

  Since there was no way to tell how much Annie knew, Felicity gave her a quick explanation of the guardianship.

  Annie nodded. "Very suitable arrangement. As is your marriage. Fitzgerald and Monahan. Good breeding stock." She looked at Gardeen. "You've done well, little one."

  Then she trundled off, trailed by cats. But not Gardeen, who stayed on guard by Kieran.

  "Breeding stock," said Miles, rolling his eyes. "I don't want to know."

  "It can't all have been planned."

  Miles laughed. "In Ireland, who's to tell? But I have no argument with the plan as long as we don't end up spell-cast into swans or turned into standing stones."

  "Don't," said Felicity with a shiver.

  He pulled her into his arms since they were safely guarded by all three chaperones. "And don't you take any of this seriously. We've dealt with one petty villain. Any other problems will be of the same mundane type."

  He sounded
a little too hearty about it, however. She looked up at him. "And what of a small cat buried near a sundial?"

  His smile faded. "Very well, oh believer in total honesty, whatever magic there is in this seems to be working in our favor. Let's trust ourselves to it."

  Trying to convert to his optimistic way of thinking, Felicity pushed aside worries and set herself to coping with practical matters.

  The next day, a messenger pounded up with a message for Miles, a message sent on from Clonnagh.

  As he broke the seal, Felicity tried to suppress panic, but when she saw him frown, it broke free. "What is it? What is it?"

  "Nothing to worry about..."

  "Miles!"

  He sighed. "Dunsmore's given his watchers the slip. Lucien has no idea where he is. But he won't come to Ireland. What point would there be?"

  "Kieran!" Felicity ran to find him.

  He was safely working on his counting skills with Mrs. Edey.

  Felicity controlled herself. She couldn't force her son to live in fear. Of course Rupert had resented being watched. But he had no reason at all to come to Ireland.

  She remembered his saying, "You'll never have Kieran."

  But Kieran no longer represented money to him. He wouldn't care.

  Felicity took the governess aside for a moment to caution her not to leave the house without Liam in attendance. When she left the temporary schoolroom, however, Miles was waiting for her, frowning.

  "I'm going to have to kill the weasel," he said, "just to give you some peace. Felicity, you can't go on like this."

  "I can't help being afraid. Perhaps, in time..."

  "Let's hope so."

  Felicity watched him walk away, knowing this irrational terror could be the crack that would destroy their chance of happiness. As he said, they couldn't live like this.

  As a result, she made herself not hover over Kieran. He had Mrs. Edey and Liam. Nothing could happen to him even if Rupert turned up.

  But still, she put the word out among the local people to watch for Rupert Dunsmore, and to tell her if he were sighted.

  The worst time was when they took Kieran to visit Loughcarrick, but no one there had seen Rupert and, in fact, they had received orders to send his belongings to an address in London.

  "See," Miles said as they left. "He doubtless just gave the watchers the slip because he had no mind to be supervised."