Crazy, Stupid Love

by K. L. Grayson

  The look of hurt on her face when she pulled away from me at the hospital is still fresh in my mind. It destroyed me not to chase after her.

  Don’t get me wrong; I’m not letting her go. That woman is mine whether she likes it or not. But I’ve got to convince her of that.

  I sent her a text that first night, and again last night, of something I love about her—something real and tangible, not just a feeling. Because I want her to believe me, and I want her to know I’m thinking of her and missing her.

  Pulling my phone out, I stare at the two texts I’ve sent and work on deciding what to type next. There are millions of things I love about Adley, so I choose the first one that comes to mind.

  You have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever known. You love deeply, and I love that about you.

  Tucking my phone in my pocket, I walk up the steps to my house, hating that I’ll be here without her. I’ve been dreading coming back home, choosing instead to spend all of my time at the hospital with Dad. Today the doctor released him, and I had no choice but to leave with him.

  I unlock the front door and shove it open. I kick it shut, flick on the light, and draw up short at the sight of Adley sitting on the couch. Her book bag is beside her, along with another bag, and she’s staring at her phone—presumably reading the text I just sent.

  “What are you doing in the dark?” I say, taking a step toward her.

  Adley looks up. Her eyes are puffy and red, cheeks slick with tears, and my heart hurts because I know I’m the cause of her pain.

  “It wasn’t dark when I sat down.”

  “How long have you been here?”

  “I don’t know. Three or four hours.” She holds up her phone, showing me the text I just sent. “What is this?”

  “It’s my way of saying goodnight. I don’t get to kiss you and tell you how much I love you before you go to sleep right now, so I’m sending you texts with the things I love about you. I want you to believe me.”

  Her chin trembles, and she looks away.

  “You should’ve called me. If I’d known you were here, I would’ve come home.”

  She bites her lips and nods. “I know you would’ve. How’s Christopher?”

  “He’s good. They put two stents in his heart. I just dropped him off at home. Chloe is with him.”

  “Good. That’s good.” Her eyes drop back to the phone in her hands. “I’ve been thinking about him a lot. I hope he knows I wanted to be there.”

  “He knows.” I take another step forward. “What’s in the bag?” I ask, nodding toward the one that doesn’t carry her school books.

  Adley takes a deep breath and looks up. “I came here to pack my stuff, told myself I was going to grab everything and go, but I couldn’t leave.”

  A kernel of hope unfurls in my gut. “Adley, we need to talk.”

  She pushes up from the couch. “I know we do, but not about what you think.”

  I tilt my head to the side.

  Adley sticks her phone in her back pocket. “I’m pregnant.”

  Pregnant? Pregnant. “Say that again.”

  She takes a deep breath and looks at something on the floor. “I’m pregnant.”

  She’s pregnant. Adley is pregnant. With my baby.

  I let the word soak into my body. I stand still and wait for the fear to hit—fear that I’ll end up like my parents and screw my kid’s life up the way they screwed with mine.

  But that fear doesn’t come.

  Because I’m not my parents. I’ve worked damn hard to be the complete opposite of them, and my kid will never grow up the way Chloe and I did. Suddenly I know that for certain.

  Warmth radiates from my heart to the tips of my fingers and toes, but before I get my hopes up, I need to hear her say it one more time.

  “You’re pregnant with my baby.”

  “Of course it’s your baby.” Her head pops up, eyes wide, as though she can’t believe I just said that.

  Turning on her heel, she grabs her bags and takes a step toward the door, but I catch her arm in my hand.

  “Let go of me,” she snaps.

  It kills me to let her go, but I do as she asks.

  “I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” I tell her. “It wasn’t a question; it was a statement. I know the baby is mine. I never thought for a second it wasn’t. You’re pregnant with my baby.”

  This time there’s a spark of love in my gut—love for a baby that isn’t even here, and I already know I’ll love him or her more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life.

  “Why do you look happy?” she asks, dropping the bags back on the couch.

  “Because I am.” I take a step forward, and she steps back, and that’s when I see the uncertainty in her eyes. “The timing isn’t perfect, but a baby is a miracle. This is a baby. Our baby. Aren’t you happy?”

  Her eyes dance between mine. “No, I’m not happy,” she cries. “I had dreams, Lincoln. Dreams of starting my career, finding a strong, solid man and getting married, and somewhere down the road starting a family. Instead I’m going to be a single mother because I got knocked up by a man who two days ago said the last thing this world needs is his spawn running around. And to top it all off, I know nothing about being a mother, Lincoln. What if I suck at it?”

  Her words slice through me. We should be happy and celebrating. I understand that the timing isn’t ideal, but this is a baby.

  “Stop.” Shaking my head, I close the distance between us, not giving her the chance to step away. “You’re going to be a wonderful mother, and you’re never going to be alone again. Do you hear me? We’re going to raise this baby together. We’re going to get married, and I’m going to buy you a beautiful home, and—”

  “Don’t.” She pushes away from me, her eyes searching mine. “We’re not getting married. I don’t want you to want to marry me because I’m pregnant with your baby.”

  “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry I hurt you. And I know you’re having a hard time believing me right now, but you have to trust me when I say this: I want to marry you because of you, Adley. Because I’m in love with you. Baby or no baby, you’re it for me. I love you.”

  “I want to believe you.” Her eyes focus on something over my shoulder. “I’ve tried. I swear I’ve tried. I sat here and tried to convince myself that we could move past this, that I’m overreacting. And who knows? Maybe I am. But I keep hearing your words, and I keep thinking about this baby. We’re having a baby, Lincoln. A child is going to depend on us for everything. Right now, I have to focus on that.”

  “I don’t want to lose you,” I say.

  Tears drip down her face, and I know she doesn’t want me to hug her, but I can’t just stand here. She’s breaking. Arguing with her right now is pointless. She’s raw—we’re both raw—and the last thing I want to do is upset her and cause harm to her or the baby.

  “Please, baby, don’t cry. Please don’t cry. I’m sorry I hurt you, Adley, and I promise I’m going to make this right. But I need you to calm down. You’re pregnant now, and I don’t want you or the baby upset.”

  She shakes her head, faster and faster with each word.

  “Yes. Godammit, yes.” I grip her face in my hands and slam my mouth against hers, determined to kiss away her pain, to show her how much I love her.

  If she won’t believe my words, she’ll have no choice but to listen to my body, because my body doesn’t lie when she’s around.

  At first, she’s tense, her body tight with anger. Slamming her fist against my chest, she fights to get away, but I hold on, refusing to let go, and as the seconds pass, she slowly melts against me. Her lips go pliant, accepting everything I give, and when I press my tongue to her mouth, she opens for me.

  Our kiss is hurried and desperate. I try to slow it down, infuse it with all the tenderness and love rushing through me, but she doesn’t let me. For her this kiss is goodbye. I can feel it. It’s in the desperate way she clings to my shirt, the frantic movement of her mouth, and when
she tries to pull away, I don’t let her, because I know what comes next, and I’m not ready for it.

  “Lincoln.” She pushes my chest, forcing me to take a step back. Her fingers rest on her swollen lips. “I can’t do this with you. Not right now.”

  “I made a mistake, Adley. How long are you going to hang this over my head?” My voice rises an octave because I’m frustrated. This is ridiculous. “I’m here now, apologizing, begging you to forgive me, and telling you how much I love you and how much you mean to me. If you push me away, it’s out of pure stubbornness.”

  “Maybe, but I need to be sure…”

  “Adley—”

  She grabs her bags, hooking them over her shoulders, and walks to the door. “I need more than words right now, Lincoln.”

  “What do you need? Tell me what to do.”

  “I shouldn’t have to tell you. You figure it out.” She walks across the room and yanks open my front door. “You say you love me and you want this baby and marriage and a family—”

  “I do.”

  “Prove it.”

  29

  Lincoln

  “What were her words exactly?” Chloe asks for the third time.

  I repeat myself again. “I’m pregnant.”

  “Wow. I can’t believe it. I’m going to be an aunt. Aunt Chloe,” she whispers, pacing across the room. When she makes it to the other side, she spins around. “You’re going to be a dad.”

  Dad.

  I didn’t sleep a wink after Adley left last night. All night all I thought about was her and our unborn baby, and it still hasn’t sunk in.

  “I know what you’re thinking, but I’m not going to screw this up.”

  She shakes her head. “I wasn’t thinking that at all.”

  “You weren’t?”

  “No.” Chloe walks over and grabs my hand. “You’re going to be a great dad. This baby is lucky to have you.”

  “You think?”

  “I know,” she confirms. “You practically raised me, Linc. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have the things I do, including a college education.”

  “Chloe—”

  “No, it’s true. You had a shit life growing up. You know first-hand what it’s like to have parents who don’t care. Yet you made sure I was fed and clean and clothed. You took care of me like I was your own, and I know you’ll do an even better job with your own child because you’re actually an adult now. I know you’ll never let your child feel an ounce of the pain we’ve felt.”

  She’s right. I’d kill myself before I ever brought pain into my child’s life. The only thing I can think about is giving this baby and Adley a perfect, beautiful life.

  “You’re right. And that doesn’t just go for the baby; it goes for Adley as well. But first, I have to win her back.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “The only thing I can.”

  Her eyes narrow. “And that is…”

  “I’m going to prove to her that I love her and this baby, and I want us to be a family.”

  “And how are you going to do that?”

  “I’m going to start by coming clean with Rhett.”

  Chloe’s eyes widen. “Oh boy.”

  “It’s going to be fine.”

  “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

  Rolling my eyes, I ignore her comment. “I’m going to need you to take care of Dad for a while.”

  “Okay,” she says a little too quickly.

  “Okay?”

  She nods. “Dad and I had a long talk last night after you dropped him off at home. It’s going to take a lot to fix our relationship, and I don’t even know how fixable it is, but I’m willing to work on it if he is.”

  This is huge.

  I pull her in for a hug. “I’m proud of you, Chloe.”

  She answers by tightening her arms around my shoulders.

  Several seconds pass, and then I pull back. “You’re sure you’ll be okay managing Dad? Because I don’t know how long I’m going to be gone.”

  “Positive. I promise to call if there’s a problem.”

  “Okay. I better get going. I’m meeting Rhett in Heaven at Dirty Dicks in an hour.”

  “Want me to come with you? You know, for moral support—or maybe to identify the body?”

  I scowl, and she laughs.

  “What? That was funny. But I really am being serious. He’s going to kill you.”

  God, I hope not.

  Rhett nods at me from his spot behind the bar. He’s standing next to his twin brother, Cooper. Most people can’t tell them apart, but it’s never been a problem for me. Probably because I ran around with Rhett for almost a year before I met his brother.

  “Well, well, well… Look what the cat dragged in,” Rhett says, leaning his elbows on the wooden counter.

  “You actually let this fucker behind your bar?” I say to Cooper, feigning shock.

  “Fuck no, I don’t let him. Ever since he moved back to town, he just keeps showing up. I don’t have the heart to kick him out, but feel free to take him back to Houston with you.”

  Rhett punches Coop in the arm, but Cooper just laughs.

  “Mo would murder you if she heard you say that,” Rhett tells him.

  “Well, then, it’s a good thing the ol’ ball and chain isn’t here now, isn’t it?”

  Rhett tries to punch Coop again, but this time Coop evades him.

  “You just wait, brother. One of these days some girl is going to come along and knock you on your ass, and you’ll be on the receiving end for once.”

  “Not gonna happen. Settling down is the furthest thing from my mind. There’s nothing better than being a bachelor. I bet Linc here feels the same way.” Coop looks over at me.

  “Actually, that’s what I came to talk to you about.”

  “Son of a bitch. Not you too.” Coop shakes his head, grabs a bottle of beer from the cooler, pops the top, and holds it out to me. “Seems like this might be necessary this evening.”

  I take the beer and tilt the longneck at him before taking a drink.

  “Well, I’ll be damned. Lincoln Bennett, self-proclaimed bachelor, might finally settle down. Who’s the lucky girl? Anyone I know?”

  Here goes nothing. “Let’s grab a booth, and I’ll tell you about her.”

  “Sean, cover the bar.” Coop waves one of his bartenders over, and we head to a table.

  I wasn’t planning to have this conversation with two of Adley’s brothers. But I guess it’s better to get it over with now. We take a seat at a table in the back.

  Funny enough, the last time we were here, I sat at this same table with Rhett and Coop and their younger brother, Trevor. Their older brother, Beau, was on the phone via Skype. Rhett asked Coop to be his best man and the rest of us to be groomsmen. Of course we gave him shit for settling down, but secretly we were all happy for him.

  But it’s a good thing we haven’t ordered our tuxes yet, because he’s liable to rescind that offer to me after our conversation.

  “All right, let’s have it,” Rhett says, leaning back in his chair. “But please tell me you didn’t knock up some buckle bunny.”

  I flinch. Damn, he almost hit the nail on the head. Adley would die if she heard her brother call her a buckle bunny. “Nope, didn’t knock up a buckle bunny. But I did find a girl.”

  He cocks his head to the side. “Yeah? Is it serious?”

  I nod. “I’m in love with her.”

  “Shit. First Rhett, then Trevor, and now you? I don’t think this could get any worse.”

  “Don’t say that just yet,” I say, taking a drink of my beer.

  “What do you mean?” Rhett asks hesitantly. “Who did you fall for?”

  I take a deep breath, expecting to need to build up courage to speak. But surprisingly, it comes out easy. “Adley.”

  Rhett blinks.

  Cooper chokes, spewing beer across the table.

  I lean back in my chair and hold my arms out. “I’m in
love with your sister. Like, crazy fucking in love with her. Flowers and hearts and all that shit. She’s the one. She’s it for me.”

  Rhett blinks again. “Adley?”

  I nod.

  “My baby sister, Adley.”

  I nod again.

  This time, Rhett grins and turns to Coop. “You owe me a hundred bucks. Pay up, brother.”

  I watch, stunned, as Coop digs his wallet out of his back pocket, pulls out a hundred-dollar bill, and slaps it into Rhett’s hand.

  “I’m confused.”

  Rhett holds the money up triumphantly and pulls at each end, making it snap. “I knew you two were sneaking around. I tried to tell Coop, but he didn’t believe me. So we made a bet.”

  “How’d you know?”

  “Because you look at her the same way I look at Mo. Noticed it several months ago.”

  “And you’re not mad?”

  His smile dies. “Fuck, yeah. I’m pissed. That’s my little sister, asshole.”

  “I think there’s some written rule that we have to kick your ass,” Cooper adds.

  “Shit.” I run my hands over my head, and Rhett starts laughing.

  “We’re kidding.”

  “You are?”

  Rhett knits his brow. “Why do you look so surprised?”

  “Because five years ago you told me she was off limits.”

  “Five years ago we were cocky punks who’d just landed spots on the PBR. I didn’t want you anywhere near her.”

  “I’m not that guy anymore.” I haven’t been since long before Adley came into my life.

  “I know you’re not. That’s why I’m happy for you.”

  They might change their mind when they find out she’s pregnant, but that’s a conversation Adley and I should have with them together.

  “What would you have done if we’d been mad?” Coop asks.