Sandover Beach Memories

by Emma St Clair

  “Like if you had married Steve?” Rachel’s face scrunched up like she smelled something rotten.

  Rachel had never made a secret of the fact that she hated Steve. What would she say if she knew he had been in this very house the night before? It felt sneaky not to tell Rachel, but she didn’t want to have a conversation about Steve. Not now. Maybe not at all. The same way she didn’t want to talk about the way she kept running into Jackson. Or how her resolve to hate him melted a little more every time.

  “Would that have been so horrible if I married Steve? I mean, it couldn’t have been worse than Mark, right?” Why was she defending him? She had defended Jackson to Steve and now was defending Steve to Rachel. Her life really had reverted to high school.

  Rachel made a gagging noise. “Jenna, you had blinders on from the start with that guy. I heard that he cheated on Anna, so he never changed. We need to find you a nice guy and …”

  So that’s what happened to Steve’s marriage. Her stomach twisted. Jenna stopped listening to whatever Rachel was saying. It shouldn’t be surprising. After all, he had gotten together with Anna while he was still with Jenna. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Why had he come last night, really?

  “I’m not interested in dating anyone. Like, ever. I think I’m done. Singleness is a gift, right? I think the Bible says that somewhere.”

  Rachel looked sad, but didn’t say anything. Then she shook her head and clapped her hands. “Let’s get going. I feel restless. Where should we start?”

  “I haven’t even started on the bedrooms. Just some of the bigger things in the living areas,” she said. “I haven’t been able to go in there.”

  Rachel nodded. That was the thing about having a sister. You didn’t have to say everything out loud. “We’ll do mom’s room tonight. Together. Or … maybe tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow. I’d prefer never, but if I have to do it, I’m glad it’s with you.”

  “Aw, you’ve turned into a sentimental woman in your old age.”

  “Shut up. You’re two years behind me. Menopause is right around the corner. Now, pick a room, any room. Dealer’s choice.”

  Jenna may have been older, but it was Rachel who made quick decisions and saw them through. She barreled into situations like she was born to do it. No hesitation. Jenna once read a book on birth order and personality. According to it, Rachel was the firstborn and Jenna was the second. If Rachel was there, she took charge, no questions asked. Some people might have been bothered, but for Jenna, it was a relief to fall back into these patterns.

  “I’ll take the family room for 500, Alex.”

  “And the answer is: Daily Double!”

  They both laughed, and Jenna felt an ease slip over her that she had been missing since she arrived on Sandover. As they began pulling things off the shelves in the family room, Jenna thought about what it would be like to move to Burlington. Rachel said that real estate was booming there. She could see her nieces more. If she wasn’t going to have her own kids, she could just be the best aunt ever.

  The thought of living here in her mother’s house felt wrong, but so did the idea of moving away. Sandover was full of ghosts, but something about it called to her. Was it just the pull of the ocean? To her history and childhood memories? Or was she drawn to a particular man with honey-brown eyes who refused to give up on her?

  Jenna sat in the café at Bohn’s, low in her chair so that she was almost out of view from the rest of the store. She told Rachel that she wanted to call another real estate agent, but the truth was that she was hiding from Jackson. It felt embarrassingly desperate to be here again, but Rachel had insisted. She practically screeched when Jenna suggested going to Harris Teeter.

  “Are you broken? We don’t shop at the Tweeter. At least not On Island. The house is filled with junk food. I want something healthy, like salad. And ice cream. Don’t judge.”

  She couldn’t explain to Rachel why she didn’t want to go back to Bohn’s without explaining the pattern she and Jackson were in: he does something nice, I insult him. And repeat. She needed to thank him for returning her shoes, for the gift bag, for the note.

  Especially for the note, which she had reread multiple times the night before and that morning. What did it say about her that it was the closest thing to a love letter she had received in her adult life? Something else Steve and Mark shared was that apparently neither was a romantic.

  Where do you go after a note like that? Jenna’s desperation was exactly why she needed to hide here in case Jackson was working. She had to admit that the café was a great space. It had been added in the last five years or so. There was a gas-burning fireplace with a stone face and nicer tables than you’d typically see in a grocery store. It had a row of glass counters with pre-prepared foods and a menu of food-to-order. Everything from grilled panini sandwiches to Asian stir-fry. The smell of garlic hung in the air.

  The woman on the phone—Kelly?—had asked Jenna another question about the house. “I’m sorry—could you repeat that?”

  “Of course. You sounded unsure and I just wanted to make sure that you had really decided on selling. Is this something you want to do?”

  Jenna knew what she was going to say, but it took effort to get the words out. They felt so final. “Yes. I’m going to sell.”

  “Great. Can you stop by the office for paperwork tomorrow? Or I’ll come to you. That might be better so I can walk around and get a feel for the place.”

  At least she didn’t mention “teardown.” Jenna’s phone beeped and she held it away from her ear. She was at 3% battery life. She must have forgotten to charge it the night before. “Kelly, can you hang on a sec? My phone is about to die.”

  There was a charger in Rachel’s car, but Jenna didn’t have the keys. She looked around for Rachel, but she must have been lost in the freezer section still. A preteen girl who looked a few years older than her niece Ava sat a few tables away with her phone plugged into a pink charger.

  Jenna walked over to the table. The girl looked up at her with a bored expression, then back down at her phone.

  “Hi. Sorry to bother you,” Jenna said. “Can I borrow your charger really fast? My phone is dead and I’m in the middle of an important call.”

  The girl continued scrolling through some video app. “I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.”

  Jenna almost snorted. “Look, five minutes. Probably less. I’ll sit right there where you can see me. I’m not some weirdo, promise.”

  “That remains to be seen.” The girl sighed and pulled the charger out of the wall socket. Before Jenna knew what was happening, the girl lifted a phone snapped a photo of her. “If you steal my charger, now I have a picture of you I can show the police.”

  Jenna stared at the girl for a moment before heading back to her table and plugging everything in. She was, as Jenna’s mother would have said, a piece of work. Where her mother would have meant it in a disapproving way, Jenna liked her gumption.

  Gumption? Ugh, now I’m officially an old lady.

  When she had been that age, she would never have spoken to an adult like that. Much of the time she felt like she was still young, not a few years shy of forty. Until she actually talked to younger people, when she felt decidedly old. Like right now.

  “Sorry,” Jenna said to Kelly. “I had to plug in my phone.”

  She half-listened to Kelly talking about paperwork and staging and a walk-through. She knew the drill, but for whatever reason had not mentioned that she had her real estate license. As Kelly droned on, Jenna watched the girl a few tables away. Would Ava have that same attitude in a year or two? Doubtful. Ava was that quiet and perfect first child—good grades, polite manners, sweet, cute.

  The girl at the table was recording a video of herself talking. Jenna was so glad cell phones didn’t exist when she was young. The stupid things she would have publicly shared with the world …

  “Tomorrow at three sound okay?”

  “That should be fine. I�
��m sure my sister would like to talk with you as well.”

  “Good. I’ll see you then.”

  Kelly hung up without so much as a goodbye. The woman was all business, which was fine. Jenna didn’t want to make small talk about it.

  She let the phone charge for a minute or two, getting up to 20% before walking it back to the girl at the table. “Thanks,” she said.

  The girl nodded, but didn’t say anything. “What?” she asked, when Jenna didn’t leave.

  “Nothing. You just … I have a niece about your age.”

  “Now you’re just being creepy. I’m twelve and it’s totally legal to sit in a café by yourself. It’s not legal to harass minors. My dad owns this place. He’ll be happy to kick you out if I ask.”

  Jenna shook her head, but smiled. This girl!

  “Thanks again for the charger. You can get back to your selfies and social media now.”

  The girl’s head snapped up and Jenna smirked. She obviously hadn’t expected a smart remark back.

  Instead of looking mad, the girl narrowed her eyes for a moment and then nodded like Jenna had made it into some kind of club. Jenna felt an odd sort of pleasure that she had crossed over this invisible barrier to approval. It shouldn’t matter if some random pre-teen thought she was cool. But it did. She glanced down at the girl’s phone. It was open to some kind of video-editing app.

  “What are you working on?” The question popped out before she could think about whether or not it was a good idea. It probably wasn’t.

  But the girl narrowed her eyes and then said, “I create mini-documentaries.”

  “Wow. Like, all on your phone? The video, editing, all that?”

  “Surprising fact: phones aren’t just for calling people. Yeah, everything’s on here that I need. I can film clips, then splice them together, put music over it, effects. This is a paid app, but still was pretty powerful for the price.”

  “Where can I watch them? I mean, are they published on YouTube or something?”

  “You want to watch them?”

  Jenna shrugged. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a mini-documentary. It sounds interesting. And, no offense, but you’re young. I’d like to see what you can do. I have a feeling I’d be impressed.”

  Before the girl could answer, Rachel called out her name. “Jenna!” Rachel waved from near the exit. She had a cart full of paper grocery sacks.

  “Well, better go. Thanks again and best of luck with the videos,” Jenna said to the girl, who had already gotten back to her project. Turning to Rachel, she eyed the cart. “That’s a lot of salad. What else have you got in there?”

  Just before Jenna reached Rachel, Jackson appeared. Jenna stopped in place, a few feet away. Rachel smiled up at him like they were old friends. He put his arm around her and gave a quick squeeze. So casual, so easy. Why could Rachel do that, while Jenna made everything awkward or terrible?

  Should she thank him for the gift bag? Tell him how much the note meant to her? Jenna’s heart felt wild and erratic and she knew her cheeks were flushed. If she said anything now, that would mean explaining to Rachel. Which she definitely didn’t want to do.

  Jenna forced herself to close the distance between them. “Hey, there. I see you caught up with the Bohn’s Employee of the Month.”

  The moment the words left her mouth, she wanted to take them back. Rachel turned, giving her a shocked look. Jenna flinched. She didn’t want to look at Jackson, but finally did. He wouldn’t meet her eyes.

  “Good to see you again, Rachel.” His voice was clipped. He brushed past them both.

  Jenna had an urge to chase after him, but of course she didn’t. She stood there, feeling small and mean. Rachel smacked her on the arm. “What is wrong with you?” Jenna shrugged and Rachel made a sound of disgust. “I didn’t get to finish telling you on the phone the other day. He apologized to me last year. I really think he’s changed. You can stop defending my honor, if that’s even what this is about.”

  “What else would it be about?”

  “I have no idea, honestly. Jealousy comes to mind.”

  “Jealousy? Of what? Of whom?”

  Rachel sighed. “I don’t know. I kind of got the impression after Steve that maybe you liked Jackson. Even though he was a jerk back then. I sort of thought part of the reason you were so mad about the rumors about me and Jackson was because you liked him. By the way, you know he didn’t start the rumors, right?”

  Jenna was too shocked to even touch the rest of Rachel’s words, so she zeroed in on that one thing. “He didn’t? Who did?”

  “Steve, of all people. How have we not talked about this? I swear I told you this.”

  “You most definitely did not tell me any of this.”

  Rachel rolled her eyes. “You had to know that. Remember the big fight they got in and Steve came to school with a black eye?”

  “That was about you?”

  “Yep. So maybe you should go apologize to Jackson for what you just said. He’s still right there.”

  If only Rachel knew how much Jenna had to apologize for and how many times she had been rude to him that week. Jenna glanced over and realized that he was talking to the sassy girl in the café. He had his hands in his pockets while the girl was still messing with her phone. Something dawned on Jenna, but slowly. The thought made her stomach drop.

  Jenna’s forehead began to sweat. “Uh, quick question. Jackson—does he work here?”

  Rachel gave her a look. “He owns the store. That and half the island. He’s like a billionaire now. Don’t tell me you didn’t know that.”

  “I did not know that. I’m not sure how, but I missed that rather significant piece of gossip.”

  The girl at the table looked to be giving Jackson the same verbal lashing she had given Jenna. His shoulders slumped.

  Jenna tried to wrap her mind around all of this. Jackson Wells had beaten up Steve because he had started the rumors about Rachel. He owned Bohn’s and apparently was a billionaire, a concept she could hardly fathom. He had a daughter with a sassy attitude. And he had tried—and maybe now given up on—starting fresh with Jenna.

  She grabbed the cart from Rachel and started pushing it for the door like a mad woman.

  “Where’s the fire?”

  “I just want to get out of here.”

  Rachel fell in step beside her, studying her face. “You’re being totally weird. You have been ever since I mentioned coming here. Oh my gosh—it is Jackson, isn’t it? Do you like him?”

  Jenna rolled her eyes. “I do not like him.”

  “He’s single, you know. Handsome. Wealthy. And he knew Mom. They were in the same Sunday School class. She told me how much she enjoyed getting to know him.”

  Jenna’s throat constricted. Of course he was in their mother’s Sunday School class in addition to everything else. He had gone from being a class-A jerk to Mr. Perfect. Which made Jenna the jerk. A big one.

  As they were loading groceries into Rachel’s car, Jackson and his daughter walked out to the parking lot. He put his hand on her shoulder. She shrugged out of his touch and continued to walk a few feet behind him, staring down at her phone.

  “And he has a daughter?”

  “Yep. That must be Megan. I’ve heard about her but haven’t met her. Looks like a surly little thing.”

  “Surly is one word for her. I met her just now in the café.”

  “It’s a messed-up situation. He doesn’t have primary custody and barely gets to see her. He didn’t even know about her until like a year ago. The mom sounds like a real prize.” Rachel’s voice dripped with disgust.

  “Let’s back up here. When did you become the resident Jackson Wells expert?”

  “That time he apologized—he actually took all of us out to eat. I was visiting Mom with Brady and the girls. Jackson took us all to lunch. It was quite an event. You know the twins don’t sit still for more than five seconds. I never would have imagined it, but he’s a really great guy. Why are you ask
ing so many questions about Jackson? You do like him.” Rachel squealed.

  “No. He just—I’m just …” Jenna sighed. “Can we go, please?”

  “Oh! I’ve got one more thing to go in the plus-column for you dating Jackson.”

  “I’m not dating Jackson.” Jenna slammed her car door.

  “He has a massive house. Right on the beach. I know how much you love the beach.”

  Jenna’s throat felt suddenly dry. She had a feeling that she knew exactly which house. The one right by the beach access where someone—she would bet money on Jackson—had waved to her the first night here. “Is it by our old beach access?”

  “I’m not that much of a stalker. Ooh—Jenna and Jackson! So cute. Your names both start with J. It’s meant to be.”

  Jenna made a choking sound. “What are we, twelve?”

  “Methinks the lady doth protest too much. Seriously. I don’t know what’s stopping you.”

  Jenna wanted to strangle her sister. What was stopping her? Just a lifetime of failed relationships, the fact that she was still neck-deep in grief, homeless, and jobless. And the fact that Jackson probably hated her now. Today he finally seemed to take the not-so-subtle hints she’d been dropping. It was the first time he had been cool toward her. She must have pushed him just too far. The regret she felt was instant and deep.

  As Rachel pulled out of her parking space, the clouds were rolled away, revealing a gorgeous sky. Jenna watched Jackson open the door of a Jeep for Megan. She climbed in without looking at him, still lost in her phone. Jenna may have been imagining it, but it looked like his shoulders sagged as he closed the door. She only realized when Rachel pulled out onto the causeway that her own shoulders had slumped as well, an echo of his emotion.

  Jenna had completely screwed things up with him, assuming the worst and judging him on his past. No wonder he had finally been snippy today. She must have hit the end of his patience with her. Probably better for them both, but she couldn’t deny the disappointment that flooded her as they drove away.

  Chapter Nine