Tidings of Joy

by Margaret Daley

  What had he done? What can of worms had he opened with his confession? With no lease to protect him, he could be asked to leave tomorrow morning, then where would he be with his promise to himself?

  All energy siphoned from him, he rested his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands together. He stared into the blackness of the night and wished he could erase the past hour. He hadn’t wanted her to find out from someone else about his past, but the truth was he hadn’t wanted her to know at all. How was he going to put it behind him when every time he saw her he would think of this evening?

  Lord, where are You?

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Lord, where are You?

  Tanya sat in the dark in her bedroom, aware that Chance was still out on the stairs to his apartment. She had seen him through the slats in her blinds and for a fleeting moment she had wanted to go out and take him into her arms to ease his hurt.

  I need You, God. I don’t know what to feel.

  After the initial shock had worn off, anger had taken hold of her until she had heard his story. How could she not feel his pain as he had spoken about his murdered wife and daughter?

  But how can I help him, Lord? You ask too much of me.

  The remnants of her life were held together with a glue that threatened to dissolve at the least little problem. She was a stronger person than she had been this time last year, but not this strong—to help someone discover God’s love and mercy. I just can’t. I don’t have what it takes.

  She lay down and turned onto her side, staring at the thin slivers of light pushing their way through the slats of the blinds. He was still out there—hurting, confused. She didn’t have to get up and look. She felt it in her heart.

  Squeezing her eyes closed, she hoped to block the lone image of Chance that haunted her. She couldn’t. He loomed before her, materializing on the black screen of her mind with that half grin on his mouth while his eyes were full of pain.

  She twisted to her other side and pounded her pillow. It didn’t do any good. Frustration clutched her in a viselike grip.

  She wasn’t going to have any peace until she answered God’s call. You don’t realize what You’re asking! I could do more harm than good.

  As she settled back on the pillow and peered up at the ceiling, she resolved to be there for Chance. She would do the best she could and prayed God would be with her every step of the way with Chance.

  * * *

  At a few minutes before seven Chance rang Tanya’s doorbell. A long moment passed. He turned to leave, part of him surprised that Tanya wouldn’t keep her jogging date with him. But the other part wasn’t. Not after the night before. Not after he had told her about his past.

  His foot was on the first step when the door swung open. He spun around and faced Tanya, flustered, flushed.

  “Sorry, I was late getting home. I just flew in the door a couple of minutes ago and threw on these pants and T-shirt.” She came out onto the porch and sat on the step to finish tying one of her sneakers. When she rose, she gave him a sheepish look. “You think this is okay for jogging?”

  Chance allowed his gaze to roam slowly down the length of Tanya, dressed in the bottom half of a bright pink jogging suit with the price tag still on it and an old, several sizes too large, white T-shirt. “You look fine.”

  More than fine, he thought but kept that to himself. Patches of red colored Tanya’s cheeks, giving her a fresh, appealing look. Although she had been through a lot, there was still a touch of innocence about her.

  “What do we do first? Stretch? Run in place?”

  Her large eyes charmed him. For a long moment until a little frown wrinkled her forehead, he was so entranced by her mahogany gaze, he didn’t realize she had spoken. Turning away, he broke her spell, appalled that he had been caught staring at her, and said, “First, let’s take this off.”

  As he pointed toward the price tag, her gasp of surprise sounded, followed by her laughter. “I told you I was in a hurry. I didn’t have anything to jog in so I got this on my way home from work. Now that I’ve spent my hard-earned money, I’m committed to doing this.” With a tug, she ripped the tag off and stuffed it into her pocket. “Ready.”

  “I always do better if I stretch first.”

  As Chance went through a series of stretches, Tanya followed suit. Then he set off at a slow jog down Berryhill Road toward the lake. His sneakers pounded the pavement in rhythm with Tanya’s. Their synchronized pace made him yearn for a time when Tom didn’t stand between them, and yet her late husband was the very reason he was in Sweetwater.

  When the lake came into view, Chance found the path that edged the shoreline, often used by joggers. He headed west, the sun below the line of trees, streaks of rose, orange and light pink fingering upward.

  “Doing okay?” he asked after ten minutes.

  Between pants, Tanya answered, “I…think…so.”

  Another ten minutes and Chance slowed to a walk. “Let’s go to the boulder up ahead then turn back.”

  She didn’t reply for twenty seconds then said, “Fine.”

  Chance slid a glance at her face, noting the sheen of sweat glistening on her forehead, her flushed cheeks. “Or, we can stop and rest if you want.”

  Her gaze swept to his. “No.” She inhaled and exhaled shallow breaths. “I can do this.”

  At the boulder he started back the way they had come and noticed Tanya’s breathing was more even and the red patches were fading from her cheeks. Even though he hadn’t been jogging for long, he had been in shape before this. He suspected Tanya wasn’t. He shouldn’t have pushed so hard earlier. He would remember next time—if there was a next time. They still needed to talk about the evening before.

  He came to a place in the path only five feet from the shoreline of the lake and stopped. “We’ve done enough for the first day. Let’s rest, then walk back at a more leisurely pace. This is a beautiful spot.” He saw some huge flat rocks not far away, crossed to the first one and sat, facing the water.

  Tanya stayed on the trail for a moment. If the hairs tingling on his neck were any indication, she was staring at him and trying to decide what to do.

  Without looking back at her, he said, “I haven’t gotten to enjoy something like this in a long time.”

  Her sigh drifted to him, then the sound of her footsteps as she made her way to the rock next to his. She lowered herself onto it and brought her legs up to clasp them. Keeping her head averted, she stared at the water.

  “Beautiful, isn’t it?” he asked to break the silence.

  She nodded.

  The gentle lapping of the water and the colors of the sunset reflected in the lake soothed him for the few minutes he allowed to pass before he broached the subject of last night. “Do you want me to stay in the apartment? I’ll leave if I make you uncomfortable. That isn’t what I intended.”

  Finally she looked at him. “What did you intend?”

  “To tell you the truth. To tell you about the time I spent in prison.”

  “With Tom?”

  “Yeah.”

  Peering away, she sighed. “I need the rent and I think you need a place to stay, so no, I don’t want you to move.”

  “I didn’t want you to hear about it from someone else.”

  “Like Samuel?”

  “He wouldn’t have told you. He told me that first day in Sweetwater it was my story to tell.”

  Tanya grinned. “That sounds like Samuel. But I’m guessing he made it clear you should tell me as quickly as you could.”

  “Yep. That’s Samuel for you. He has this way of manipulating you into doing what he thinks should be done.”

  “But you aren’t attending church.” She swung fully around so she faced Chance. “I know he’s tried because Samuel wouldn’t be Samuel unless he
did.”

  Chance nodded.

  “But because of what happened to you, you think God has abandoned you?”

  “That about sums it up. Ruth was a devout Christian and look what happened to her.”

  “The Lord never promised us a bed of roses—at least not on Earth. He hasn’t abandoned you. He’s waiting for you to return to Him.”

  “I doubt it,” Chance mumbled, pushing off the rock. He stood in front of Tanya, holding out his hand to her. “Ready to head back? We’ll walk slowly.”

  In other words, the subject is off-limits, Tanya thought, and fit her hand in his. His touch warmed her fingers as the air began to chill with the approach of night. She shivered.

  “Cold?”

  “I think the heat wave has broken. This morning it was a nice fifty-five degrees when I went to work.”

  He inhaled. “Fall is finally in the air. About time. It’ll be October in a few days.”

  Tanya fell into step next to him on the path. “I love fall. That means winter is right around the corner. The holidays. The cold weather.”

  “I’ll like the cold weather, but the holidays…” His voice faded into the silence, some insects serenading the only sound heard.

  That shadow passed over his features, the one that meant he was remembering a time when life had been good, then was snatched away. “I didn’t put up the outdoor decorations last year, but maybe this year.” With Tom’s imprisonment she and Crystal hadn’t felt very festive the past few years, but Chance needed to laugh again, to be a part of a family, a community.

  “I used to do that,” Chance finally said a couple of minutes later. “And when it snowed, my daughter used—” He swallowed hard, coming to a halt in the middle of the path.

  Tanya turned back toward him. “You should talk about Haley. She hasn’t left you. She’s in here.” Boldly she laid her hand over his heart and felt its pounding beneath her palm—strong, a bit too fast.

  He covered her hand, then pulled it away but didn’t release it. “Those memories are the only thing in prison that kept me sane at times.”

  “I know. The thought of Crystal has been what has kept me going these past few years. She needs me. I can’t let her down.”

  His other hand came up to cup hers between his. “You aren’t. You’re doing a good job with Crystal.”

  The dark shadows crept closer as night approached. Tanya relished his nearness for a moment before she realized the danger in that. Neither one of them was ready for anything serious and that was all she thought about as his hands held hers. Reluctantly she pulled away, breaking their physical contact.

  “Not good enough. I still don’t know what’s bothering Crystal. She won’t talk to me about it.”

  “She’s fifteen. She’ll come around. You two have a good relationship. Did you find out anything about someone harassing her at school?”

  “Not yet. Beth is looking into it for me since Crystal’s in her class.”

  “If I can help, I will.” He started walking toward the street that was lit a hundred yards away.

  “You’ve done so much in the short time you’ve been here. All Crystal has been talking about is basketball since you put up that hoop. I wish I had a sports wheelchair for her. The electric one is great for getting around school and especially any large place, but when it comes to doing something like shooting baskets, it isn’t as effective.”

  “She’s adapting.”

  “That’s my daughter. She has always been so upbeat until Tom died. His death really took a toll on her. For the first time she didn’t confide in me and since then, she has drawn more and more inside herself.” Much like you, Tanya thought, slanting a look at Chance, illuminated in the streetlight as they stepped onto the pavement.

  “Has she talked to Samuel about her father’s death?”

  “Yes, but I don’t think she was too open even with him. He told me to give her time. I know time helps us sees things in a different light, but I’m her mother and hate seeing her suffer.”

  Chance’s expression tightened into a frown. “It’s hard for a parent to watch his child hurting.”

  “Sometimes I wonder if life will ever get any easier. There’s always something, but then I’m fortunate. I have a home, my faith, a loving daughter and wonderful friends.”

  “I guess if life was too easy we would get bored and complacent.”

  “It keeps us on our toes?”

  “Yeah, something like that.” Chance crossed the street and turned down Berryhill Road. “Think you can jog the rest of the way?”

  “That’s what I’m here for.” She took off for her house, pushing herself as her long legs chewed up the length to her yard.

  She heard Chance’s chuckle echo in the night, then the pounding of his footsteps behind her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him pull alongside her, nod his head then pass her. The rest of the way she watched his back, proud that she was able to keep up the pace for the most part even though her lungs burned and her muscles protested the unusual exertion.

  * * *

  “The Last Chance Picnic at the beginning of November is only a week away,” Zoey said as she slid into the booth at Alice’s Café.

  Tanya scooted over as she saw Beth enter the restaurant, the last to arrive for their usual Saturday morning get-together. The concern on her friend’s face alerted Tanya that something was wrong. “What happened?”

  “I’m hungry.” Beth unwrapped her silverware and placed her paper napkin in her lap. “I wonder if Alice has her pecan pies made yet. I sure could use a slice.”

  “Okay, Beth Morgan, what’s going on?” Jesse signaled for Alice to take their orders.

  Beth didn’t say anything until after they had all given the café owner their orders, then she drew in a deep breath and released it on a long sigh. “Some people make me so angry!”

  Surprised by her fervent tone, Tanya asked, “Who made you angry?”

  “Felicia. I dropped Allie off at the library to help Felicia with story time and she just had to fill my ears with lies.”

  Darcy shifted on the chair at the end of the booth, her brows crunching together. “What lies?”

  “About Chance. She had the nerve to tell me he had been in prison for murder. If that were true, he would still be there. Why does she love to spread—”

  “It’s true, Beth,” Tanya said and held her breath as the implication of her words sank in with each of her friends. She thought she had heard something at the bank with one of her coworkers yesterday, but when she had joined the others, the woman had changed the subject.

  Her mouth hung open for a few seconds before Beth asked, “Murder! Is that where Samuel knew him? From prison?”

  “Yes—”

  “Is he out on parole? How many years did he serve?” Jesse leaned forward.

  Alice brought their drinks, and Tanya waited until she left to reply, “The real killer was caught and he petitioned the court to have the conviction overturned, which it was. So technically he was in prison for murder, but he didn’t do it. The man who did is awaiting trial.”

  “How horrible.” Jesse covered her mouth.

  “What’s worse is someone is spreading false rumors about Chance.” Beth dumped more sugar than usual into her coffee and stirred so hard that it sloshed over onto the table.

  “You know how it is. Someone hears a story, alters it a little when he retells it and before long a person can’t recognize what the original story was.” Zoey sipped her hot tea.

  “I don’t want Chance to suffer anymore. He’s gone through enough with the murders of his wife and daughter—”

  “That’s who he was accused of killing?” Darcy asked, pushing herself to her feet and stretching. “Ooh, my back is really hurting.”

  “It won’
t be long,” Jesse said, patting her hand, then looked at Tanya. “Was it his wife and daughter?”

  Tanya nodded, remembering the night four weeks before when he’d told her that. She hurt for him. In the time since then, they’d jogged together several evenings a week, and he had joined her and Crystal for dinner a few nights then helped her daughter with shooting baskets or just talked with them on the deck. But in all that time they had spent together, there was a reserve between them, put there by what he’d shared with her that night.

  Jesse clenched her hand on the table. “No one better say anything to me. He works for Nick. He’s part of our family now. Nick has really been impressed with Chance’s work. Usually Nick has to travel frequently to Chicago, and would have this week, but he sent Chance and he did a great job.”

  Tanya had heard a car dropping Chance off late the night before. She hadn’t been able to go to sleep until she had known he’d returned from Chicago safely. She hadn’t seen him in three days, fifteen hours, but then who was counting? Okay, she missed seeing him, even if it was only long enough to wave and say hi. She liked knowing he was nearby.

  “Yeah, Dane says he’s really helping with setting up the financial records for the youth center. Accounting isn’t my husband’s strong suit.” Zoey took the plate that Alice handed her with a piece of spinach and bacon quiche.

  Alice served the rest of them, then said, “Are you talking about Chance Taylor?”

  Tanya stiffened, the hand holding her fork tightening. “Yes, we were.”

  “I heard something troubling yesterday morning. Almost said something to you when you came in, Tanya, with him being your tenant and all, but I didn’t get an opportunity. He was in prison for murder. Did you know that?”

  The dismay on Alice’s face knotted Tanya’s stomach. “I knew, and the conviction was overturned. He is innocent.”