Empty Net

by Toni Aleo

  She looked just as Matilda did when he saw her lifeless body in the morgue.

  It was horrible, and just as before, Tate found the nearest trashcan which was in the hall and he vomited all of the disgusting jail food they had given him only hours ago. He couldn’t do it all over again; he couldn’t lose someone else who was his world. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he washed his hands at the nearest sink and then went back into Audrey’s room, rushing to the bed to hold her hand.

  Tate pressed his lips to her knuckles, feeling her warm skin under his lips. Tate’s tears wouldn’t stop as they ran down his cheeks, landing on her bed. He grabbed her hand and moved it to his cheek. With a shaking hand he placed his on top of their child. Looking up at her face, he bit down hard on his lip as he willed himself not to scream out in pain. Leaning over, he gently kissed her forehead before leaning in close and saying, “Baby, please, I need you to come out of this. I need you to wake up, look at me and tell me you love me as much as I love you, love. I need you to tell me we’re pregnant and when you are due. I need you to tell me what you want, a boy or a girl because we never discussed that. I want a girl, someone as beautiful as you with my humor, or maybe your humor because I think you are funnier than I am. I need to know, baby. I can’t do this world, this place without you. I need you, please, please, come out of this. Please. I love you. I do, Audrey, so fucking much. I love you. I hope you can hear me and know that. I do. I do, so much.”

  His tears splashed along her skin as his heart broke into billions of pieces. He didn’t simply want her anymore. He needed her. He needed her smile, her laugh, her commentary during their shows. He needed to taste every cupcake she created. He needed to taste her lips after a long day on the ice or after a long road trip away from her. He needed to feel her naked scrumptious body against his every single day. He needed to make her his wife. He needed her to grow their baby, so that he could help her nurture it when she brought it into the world. He needed her to know he was going to love her with his whole being, every day, for the rest of their lives. He needed her to know, he was her Prince Charming and she was his gorgeous Cinderella. That they will live their Happily Ever After.

  He needed her.

  Laying her hands back down, he sat back into the chair, and watched as her chest rose and fell with the sounds from the ventilator. Running his fingers through his hair, he gripped the strands, welcoming the pain while feeling like his world was ending.

  “Sir, are you staying with her through the night?”

  Tate looked up at the doctor and shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know, did you ask her family?”

  The doctor nodded as he said, “They said to ask if you wanted to.”

  Tate wanted to run to Nora, William and Fallon and wrap his arms around them and thank them. They had given him the ultimate gift because he wasn’t sure how he was ever going to leave her.

  Nodding his head, Tate said, “Yes, I need to stay.”

  Chapter 28

  Fallon stood in front of a pair of windows, looking out onto the Nashville skyline. It was so beautiful, and so sparkly as people lived their lives, not a care in the world, while Fallon’s heart slowly broke from the pain of having no answers about her sister. It was close to midnight and the doctors expected some kind of change by now, but there wasn’t any. Clutching her neck, Fallon’s phone sat loosely in her other hand. She had called Susie to check on Aiden, and to ask her to keep him through the night until tomorrow when they knew some more answers. Thankfully for her, Susie was on vacation from her job and had no problems helping them out.

  Tears pooled in Fallon’s eyes as she thought how to tell Aiden about Audrey. He wouldn’t understand, and it killed her to think how scared he was going to be. Audrey was his world, as she was Fallon’s. How would any of them survive if she didn’t make it? When she felt and saw a pair of strong, tattooed arms come around her waist, she crumbled against Lucas, holding onto him as the life jacket she needed.

  “Baby girl, everything is going to be okay,” he whispered against her neck.

  “I’m so scared, Lucas, so fucking scared,” she cried as his grip on her tightened.

  “I know, baby,” he said, kissing her softly on her neck, “Audrey wouldn’t want you to cry like this, she’d tell you not to worry.”

  “I know but she’s just gonna have to accept my tears. I am worried shit about her.”

  Lucas nodded as he kissed her again and said, “Me too.” They stayed wrapped up in each other’s arms for a long time. Fallon turned, hugging Lucas’ neck as he held her waist, leaning against each other for support. Her heart was pounding against her chest and she knew she needed to tell him about their baby. She couldn’t wait, even if it was the worst time in the world, she had to tell him. At any moment, everything could end. Audrey hadn’t gotten the chance to tell Tate and Fallon couldn’t chance fate. Just as she went to tell him, Lucas said, “Thank you for letting Tate go back there and sit with Audrey. I know it meant a lot to him.”

  Fallon nodded, pulling away to look up into his beautiful grey eyes. The same grey eyes their son had, the same ones she hoped their unborn child would be blessed with. “Mom wouldn’t go without Dad, and I wouldn’t go without you. I couldn’t sit there and watch her try to heal without you. As much as all three of us want to be in there, we can’t. Plus, Tate needs this time with her. He is falling apart.”

  “He is,” Lucas said sadly, “I’m really worried about him and you, but I promise you, baby, I can feel it in my gut, she going to make it. She’s going to wake up and crack a joke about something and then life will go back to normal. Everything is going to be okay.”

  Fallon nodded again, her tears spilling over her cheeks as she said, “I pray to God, you’re right, Lucas. I want you to be right because I can’t imagine raising my baby without my sister and her baby.”

  Lucas’ eyes widened as he held Fallon’s gaze, “What?”

  “I’m pregnant Lucas, Audrey and I are a little under two weeks apart.”

  “You are?” he asked a grin coming over his lips. She nodded as a grin of her own appeared. Even if it was for only a second, Fallon smiled as her husband, the love of her life, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her senseless. It had been almost a year since she had been blessed with his kisses back into her life and they still blew her away. Parting, he kissed her nose, before looking deep in her eyes. As much as she wanted to gush and talk about their child, Fallon felt that both of them knew it wasn’t the time to do that.

  “There’s so much I want to say right now, and I will once Audrey is better but know, Fallon, you have made me the happiest man on earth,” he whispered against her lips.

  Fallon nodded, tears still rushing down her face as she held the gaze of her husband and said, “Good, because you have been making me happy since the day I stopped being stupid and realized you were the only man for me. It’s about damn time for me to pay you back, I guess.”

  Lucas smiled, kissing her again, “Everything is going to work out, baby, don’t you worry. Me, you, Tate and Audrey, will all celebrate our children’s births together as a big happy family. You just wait and see, everything is going to be okay.”

  Fallon nodded, her heart wanting to believe him while her brain doubted him. She wanted nothing more than to grow huge with her sister, eating cupcakes whenever they wanted or floating with their big bellies in the pool while Tate and Lucas built something for their viewing pleasure. She wanted to laugh and cry about the joy of pregnancy with Audrey. She wanted to hold her baby sister’s hand when she had her baby, and then she wanted Audrey to hold hers when she pushed hers out. She wanted all these moments, and she had to believe she would have them, or she was going to drive herself bat shit crazy.

  Looking up at Lucas, she smiled, and said, “I can’t wait. I love you, Lucas.”

  Lucas gave her a sexy half grin before his hand moved to her midsection while his eyes shined with tears, “I love you too, baby girl.”


  ***

  Tate hadn’t taken his eyes off Audrey for almost five hours.

  He watched as nurses, and doctors came in to check on her until finally the gynecologist came in. He listened as the young doctor told him what she was about to do and then he watched as she put a long rod inside of Audrey. When she turned the screen to show him what looked like a little blob on the screen, she said, “That is your strong little baby. Its heart is beating at a normal speed, everything looks great.” Tate couldn’t control himself, and started crying all over again. He had stopped a while back and finally gotten himself together, but seeing that little blob wiggle on the screen did him in. He was right back to square one, crying and hoping for a dream only Audrey could give him.

  Hour after hour passed and all Tate could do was watch Audrey, hoping for some kind of sign she was getting better. As he watched her, his mind started to wander.

  “Tate,” she called from the island of her kitchen.

  Tate looked up from the game he was playing and smiled, “Yeah?”

  “Can you come try this?”

  Tate laid the controller down and went to the kitchen, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind as she scooped up a spoon full of icing. “It’s my root bear icing, is it good?”

  She reached over her shoulder, feeding it to him. Cleaning the spoon free of the icing, he waited as the favors exploded against his tongue. Swallowing he nodded, “Perfection.”

  “Promise?”

  Tate nodded, “Yes, very tasty, almost as tasty as you.”

  Her giggles filled the room as he ate at her neck and tickled her sides. She turned in his arms, pressing her lips to his in a lusty, long kiss. When they parted, she gave him a mischievous grin and said, “Why don’t we take this bowl of icing upstairs and play?”

  “Mmm, I like the way you think, Ms. Parker.”

  Tate couldn’t stop the grin that appeared on his face for the first time in hours. They had made sweet glorious love for hours after that and Tate couldn’t help but wonder if that was when their baby was conceived. Running his hand down his face, he closed his eyes, resting his eyes for only a second. To his surprise one of his favorite moments came to mind.

  “So,” she whispered against his bare chest with a lazy grin on her face. Tate smiled, cupping her cheeks before he kissed her softly.

  “So?”

  “I love you.”

  His smile remained as he said, “I love you.”

  “I’d go to the end of the world for you, you know that right?”

  When he paused, his lips curving in a big grin, they both shook with laughter at the corniness of her declaration of love.

  “Wow, babe, that was cheesy!”

  “Right? Grilled cheese, cheesy.”

  “No, Macaroni and cheese, cheesy,” he laughed.

  “No! Extra cheese on pizza, cheesy,” she giggled as happy tears ran down her face. Shaking his head, their laughter subsided and they returned their attention back to the TV, but before they became too engrossed in the show, Tate whispered, “I’d do the same for you, baby.”

  Audrey looked up, confused, “What?”

  “Go the end of the world and back, just for you.”

  Tears gathered in his eyes as he leaned his head back against the wall. He loved her so much and they had so many good times together. She just couldn’t leave him. She had to recover and make more of those times. He could remember each one like it was yesterday. Like the first time he opened the car door for her.

  “What are you doing?”

  Tate motioned to the door, “I’m opening the door for you.”

  Audrey narrowed her eyes; she looked genuinely confused, “Why?”

  “Because I’m supposed too?”

  Still narrowing her eyes, she said, “Guys still do that?”

  Tate’s lip quirked up as he motioned for her to get in, “I do, now come on; I don’t want to be late.”

  Audrey still didn’t move, instead she leaned over pinching his arm, “OW!” he yelled out, moving away, “What was that about?”

  “Well, you’re real.”

  He found himself laughing out loud as he remembered the way she looked at him as if he had grown three heads. She found it so weird that he always opened the door for her, but that was the way he was raised. For hours, he went through all their amazing moments. Especially the time she made him watch some sappy girly movie called The Vow.

  Glancing over at her, Tate saw that she was bawling her eyes out and he had to admit, the movie was sad as hell but he wasn’t crying! When she caught him looking at her, she smacked him arm.

  “It’s so sad!” she cried.

  “I know, babe, but why are you crying like we are in that movie?”

  “Because I am! Leave me alone!”

  Tate chuckled, bringing her in close, cuddling her as she cried which was basically the whole movie. But he wasn’t bothered with it. The movie was fantastic. Sad and touching. Tate believed in true love, and, boy, did that movie prove it.

  “What would you do if that happened to you?” she asked.

  Tate smiled, “The same thing that guy did, I would fight forever though. I don’t think I could let go.”

  “I couldn’t either, let’s promise that if we ever get into a car wreck and I go into a coma because I took my seat belt off for car sex, and then I forgot you, that you will never stop fighting for me. If the roles are reversed, which I doubt they ever will be ‘cause you wouldn’t take your seat belt off if I was already naked and ready for car sex, I’d do the same for you.”

  Laughing, Tate rolled his eyes, “Excuse me for being safe.”

  “Hey, I have nothing against being safe, but sometimes a girl likes some hot car sex, and you have yet to give it to me,” she said with a devilish grin.

  “You want car sex?”

  “Yes, as a matter of fact I do.”

  “What if I can’t get it up because I am nervous?”

  She bit her lip before she winked and said, “I’d help ya out, don’t worry.”

  Tate nodded before he said, “In my truck or yours?”

  She smiled as she thought about it, “Mm, yours. No, wait, mine, no, yours. It would be hot in yours.”

  Tate nodded as he thought it over. “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  Standing up, he said, “Yup, lets go.”

  “What?!” she shrieked as he picked her up off the couch and threw her over his shoulder. Opening the door, he ran across the yard as she complained about the cold weather against her exposed thighs, but he didn’t care. She wanted car sex; he was going to give her the best damn car sex imaginable. Opening the door of his truck, he threw her in before following in behind her. She met him half way, her mouth on his as she undid the buttons of his shirt, pulling it off him. Laying her back, he sat up on his knees and pulled her shorts and panties off, throwing them down on the floorboard, as she pulled her shirt above her head.

  “I see the complaining about the weather stopped,” he muttered against her lips.

  She giggled as she said, “I’m suddenly overheated.”

  Even though, he should had been thinking about sexy stuff, he found himself wondering what would happen if she did wake up. Would she remember him? Or would he be fighting for her until she remembered him? Why did she make him watch that movie? Shaking his head, he looked up at her, and said, “When you wake up, you better remember me, you hear me?” He knew she wasn’t going to answer but he needed to say that for his own good. He knew that their love was too strong for her to ever forget him. He had to believe that.

  Within their three months together so much had happened. So much happiness that Tate couldn’t help to think that something bad was supposed to happen. He was too happy, too in love for everything to stay the same. They only fought twice, and the first time, when Levi had texted her, really wasn’t a fight. When they fought about the baby issue, it scared him bone deep that he might lose her then. Luckily he hadn’t, but now
he might. Even with all the good that had just filled him, he found himself going to a dark place.

  Tate reached over and took her hand, kissing each of her fingertips before kissing her palm, wishing he had never gone to All Star week. Even though it was great for his career, he was gone through Audrey’s whole sickness, when she was there for him the whole time he was sick. He missed going to the doctor to find out she was pregnant, and then he wasn’t there when that fucker came to hurt her. He wondered if she cried for him when Levi was beating her. If she was scared she would die. Did she know he loved her? If only he was ten minutes earlier, he might have been there to stop him before it got this bad.

  Kissing the back of her hand, he looked up at her and said, “I’m sorry, Audrey, I should have been there.”

  He knew that if she was awake she would yell at him that there was nothing he could do, but there was a lot. He was supposed to protect her. He was supposed to be there when she needed him and take care of her when she was sick. That was his job, and he had failed her. Shaking his head, he kissed her swollen hand again before he gently laid his head against her bed as the tears welled up in his eyes. But before they could fall, he fell asleep.

  ***

  Fallon watched as Tate leaned against Audrey’s bed, his eyes closed, his body limp as he slept. He hadn’t moved an inch from Audrey’s bed side. An hour didn’t pass without Fallon sneaking down the hall for just for a peak of Audrey. She could tell Tate was a mess, but she didn’t know how to help him. The only person who could help was Audrey. She was the one who could help everyone. Fallon was pretty sure that everyone was losing their mind as each second passed with no good news. The only good news they had gotten was that the baby was still alive, its little heart beating away.