Dirty Secret Baby

by Alycia Taylor

  Axel, as it turned out, was just as crazy in bed as he was when he was racing. He was both fast and furtive, while equally loving and passionate. He knew when to slow down and when to speed up. He had taken my clothes off with expert hands and pushed me down onto the sofa. He’d taken his own clothes off while I watched with bated breath, and handed the condom over to me to put on him. I liked that he wanted me to do it for him, but at the time, I’d been disappointed by his lack of foreplay. Was that all I was going to get? Just a quickie? I’d been wrong. Oh, I’d been very wrong. Axel was ready for me from the moment he took my clothes off and only grew harder and readier as time went on. After thrusting inside me, he pulled away and stood up. He lifted me back up and then pushed me against the wall in a passionate embrace. He grinned at me.

  “No woman has ever been tall enough for me to do this with,” he said.

  “Well, I’m no ordinary woman,” I said and smiled back at him. It pleased me that me being tall was such a turn-on to him. My height had daunted some men in the past, but Axel was all for it. I liked the way the cold wall felt against my back, and how the contrast of the soft warm skin over his abdomen felt against mine. He was clearly a guy that spent a lot of time outdoors. His stomach was tanned and toned. I liked the way it looked against my lily-white skin. I was not one for tanning, so my skin was soft and pale. Something I’d thought I’d hated until the moment I’d seen it against his.

  “Oh, you’re the most extraordinary woman I’ve ever met,” he said as he bit my neck. I felt his hot breath against me, and I groaned. No man had ever ravished me the way he was doing, and I cried out with pleasure when his fingers found their way to my center. He opened me up, drawing circles inside me, and the more he drew, the wetter I became. When I was just about ready to come, he pulled away and picked me up. I had never been picked up by a man before, and the feeling was absolutely wonderful. I was almost the same height as him, and yet he somehow made me feel smaller. There was something very safe about this man that I had never felt with anyone else before.

  He placed me down on the big sofa, and I mentally congratulated myself on the big purchase I’d made a few years ago. The man at the furniture store had told me that it was going to be too big for my apartment after I’d explained the size I was working with. But I’d fallen in love with the sofa, and I said I would make it work. I took up most of my living room, and I adored it. I loved it even more now as I sprawled out underneath Axel. By then, we’d been holding out for too long, and both of us knew we couldn’t take it any longer. Soon, we reached the peak of our orgasm together. It was, by far, the best sex I had ever experienced in my whole life.

  Afterward, as he lay entwined with me, he surprised me by kissing me gently on the forehead and saying firmly. “I’m staying over.”

  I thought about arguing. I hadn’t meant to bring a man home with me that night in the first place. All I had wanted to do was to race and to let some of my pent-up anger out. But I found myself nodding, too happy and too exhausted to complain. “Yes, you are,” I said instead.

  It didn’t matter; I thought, as I closed my eyes, that I was never going to see him again after this, anyway. What was one night together? Surely, I deserved it too.

  Chapter Three

  Axel

  Six years later

  A lot had changed in six years. The biggest difference in my life was my swift and sudden change from illegal racing to legal racing. I was now one of the most sought-after drag racers in Kansas. It hadn’t been an easy move for me to make. One of the things I enjoyed most about racing was that it was illegal. There’d been a very specific adrenaline that I got from the fact that I could get caught at any moment. I’d been worried that going legal would take that away from me. I’d been resistant at first. It was Pop, my uncle, that made me see things differently. He’d always been a friend and advisor to me, and someone I had always looked up to. Unlike most people, he hadn’t frowned down on my choices in life. He knew what sort of blood ran through my veins. He knew that he had been just like me when he was younger. He let me have my fun but slowly cajoled me into seeing things in a different way. Going legal meant that I could continue doing what I was doing for a very long time. It meant good money and building a career out of something I loved. And, as with most things in life, Pop had been right.

  Since going legal, I’d won more races than I had imagined. It was then that I realized that the adrenaline I received from racing had nothing to do with the legality of it all. I just loved racing. It was as pure and simple as that. I loved racing cars; I loved racing bikes; I just loved being out there doing my thing. And doing it well. A lot of people had scoffed at my decision and told me that I wouldn’t make it work. But that only made me work harder. I loved nothing more in life than proving someone wrong.

  I had done so well in my races that I’d saved up enough money to rebuild my life into something actually impressive and worthwhile. It took a few years, but as soon as I got enough money from my winnings, I did two things. First, I bought myself a house. Nothing big or fancy, but just something of my own. It had been a strange feeling. A different sort of adrenaline rush. A different kind of accomplishment than I was used to. I’d resisted it at first, but the truth was that I felt proud of myself for doing it all by myself. The second thing I did was to open up my own shop. I’d always been a good mechanic, but working for someone else meant that I was constantly working on their terms. That didn’t fit my personality at all. I was the sort of guy that worked well on my own. I liked to make my own rules. Opening up my own shop had been the best thing that I had ever done for myself. I’d hired Spike, who now worked as head mechanic, as well as a few other guys that I knew in the business. I wanted the best of the best working for me, and I’d obviously made the right choices. Business had been booming ever since I opened shop, and it didn’t look like it was about to slow down at all.

  I made my way into the shop now. As usual, just before going in, I looked up at the big wooden sign above the shop window. It was a promise I had made to myself when I’d first opened the shop, just to look up and feel good about my accomplishments. It was too easy to get caught up in the day to day routines and problems and to forget about the good things. The sign had been a gift from Dominic, more friend than cousin to me. He’d had the big wooden board designed for the opening of the shop. AXEL’S had been carved into the wood and mounted above the shop. I grinned up at the sign and walked in.

  Spike was already there, as usual, working on a bike. Hiring Spike to work with me had been a no-brainer. Not only had the two of us always gotten along, but he was the hardest working guy I knew. I looked at him now and laughed. He just never changed. Still tall and lanky, with only a slight stomach starting to appear, his blond hair fell over his face as he worked. I kept telling him to cut his hair, but he wouldn’t hear of it. It was, as he put it, his signature look. He looked up at me and grinned.

  “Morning, boss.”

  “Hey, Spike. You’re early.”

  “You know me. I can’t rest if I know I have a bike to attend to. This one was annoying me yesterday. I left frustrated and lay in bed thinking about what could be wrong with it. The idea naturally came to me in the middle of the night, and I got here as soon as I opened my eyes.”

  I laughed. “Brilliant. Best ideas always come in the middle of the night.”

  “So, you any races coming up? I was looking at the calendar but didn’t see any.”

  I groaned. Spike had gotten the calendar for the office so that we could both be aware of what races I had coming up, but I always forgot to fill them in. I’d hired a secretary when I started the place, but she’d left a few months ago, and I was yet to replace her. He must’ve noticed the guilty look spread across my face.

  “You forgot to write them on the calendar, huh?”

  “Uh, I was going to do it today,” I lied.

  “Sure. Sure. When are you going to hire someone for the office? We need someone there. Other
wise, we’re all running to answer the phones during the day instead of working on the bikes. Listen, I know someone that can come in and help for a while until we find someone permanent. Should I get her in? She could probably start tomorrow.”

  I nodded. “That would be great. Thanks, Spike. What would I do without you?”

  “You would be a hopeless case, that’s for sure.”

  I shook my head. “You know, sometimes I wonder how I manage to run this place. Running a business has never been something I aspired to.”

  “Nah, you’re great at it. You just need to know when you ask for help. You try do everything on your own. And, to be fair, you’re damn good at it all, but it’s impossible to do everything yourself. I’ll get Anne to start tomorrow and help us out. So, does that mean you do have some races coming up?”

  “Oh yeah. I always have races coming up. You know me, I battle to stay away from them. Coming to watch?”

  “Of course. I would never miss out on a race. Remember how I used to be your lookout guy in case the cops showed up? Man, those were very different days, weren’t they?”

  I laughed. “You were great at it. I got the tallest guy for the job.”

  “That’s why I was always so skinny. I was used to bolting if I needed to get out of there fast.”

  “You’re still so skinny.”

  Spike stuck out his stomach and ran his hand over it. “Not as much as I used to be. Now all the beer seems to be showing itself. Oh well. You can’t be young forever, can you?”

  “I can,” said a voice behind us.

  I turned around and laughed as Pop walked into the room.

  “You’re right,” I said. “You’re going to outlive us all.”

  “Damn straight,” Pop said. And, to be fair, most of us really felt that way. While we’d all changed a lot in the last few years, Pop remained the same. A few strands of gray had popped up, but his salt and pepper hair only added to his appeal. I walked over to him and shook his hand. That was how we always started our greeting, and the handshake always lead to a hard pat on the back and ended with a hug.

  “Good to see you, Pop.”

  “You too, my boy. I actually came to talk to you about a few of the sponsorships that I mentioned the last time. We need to organize a few meetings, so I thought I’d come and see when you are free. Oh, here’s your calendar, let’s see . . .”

  Spike burst out laughing as Pop took a walk to look at the almost empty calendar. Pop turned around and frowned. “What’s so funny?”

  “The calendar. We were just discussing it. Just because it’s empty doesn’t mean Axel has nothing going on. I’m bringing someone in to help around the office tomorrow. You’ll see a very different calendar then.”

  I laughed. “Sorry about that, Pop. But I do have a list of things coming up. Uh, written on random slips of paper, if I’m to be honest. But maybe call tomorrow when it’s all up on the calendar, and we can sort some meetings out. I’m still getting used to owning a business.”

  “That’s okay. It takes time. I know you’d rather be out there racing all day if you could, so you’ve done very well despite that. Not everyone can do what you’re doing. I’ll call you later this week. But the sponsorships should all be going ahead, and I also have a few interviews lined up for you.”

  “Thanks, Pop. That’s great. Who would’ve thought that I’d one day be splashed around in newspapers and magazines? And not because I did something wrong, but because I did something right. Crazy.”

  “Goes to show,” Pop said. “You can never tell what’s going to happen in your life. Oh, by the way, I talked to Dominic the other day. He said he might come visit.”

  “Oh yeah? That’s great news. It’s been too long.” I was happy about that. Dominic and I had always been friends. I’d been around for a lot of his college years, and he’d come to see me during my street racing days. He’d done very well for himself over the years, becoming the NFL champion we all knew he would eventually become. But because of this, he was always traveling and didn’t live just down the road like he used to.

  “I know. I miss that boy. And he’s going to be traveling with a very pregnant Candice.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, he mentioned the last time that the pregnancy has been fairly easy, but that she’s been craving chocolate milkshakes all the time. In the middle of the night, he’s been in the kitchen making her one while half asleep.”

  Pop laughed. “That boy would do anything for that girl. I’m glad all of that drama they went through is over. There was a time when I didn’t think they would stay together. Not with a father like that. But, as always, Dominic proved all of us wrong, and those two are still the happiest love birds I’ve ever seen.”

  I knew exactly where this conversation was going to lead to. Pop was always going on about me finding a nice girl and settling down, and I wasn’t in the mood for that conversation again. Thankfully, I was saved by the sound of the doorbell coming from the office.

  “I’ll be right back,” I said to Pop and rushed off to answer it.

  I ran back inside and opened the door. I froze when I saw who it was. It might have been six years, but there was no way that I would forget the face of the woman standing in front of me. Savannah. Her name played on my lips as I stared at her in shock. I opened my mouth and closed it again. Then I looked down, and I felt the room around me spin. Next to her was a little boy. A little boy with dark hair and green eyes. Green eyes that were exactly the same as mine. I looked back up at Savannah.

  “Hi,” she said.

  Chapter Four

  Savannah

  It’s hard to explain how nervous I was walking up to Axel’s shop. Up until the moment I pressed the doorbell, I thought about running away. How would I explain it all to him? I knew that I should’ve done something a long time ago. I should’ve told him from the very beginning. I knew that. If anyone else had been in the same position as me, and if I had been on the outside of it all, I would’ve told that person the same thing. But, I wasn’t on the outside looking in. I was that person. I had let six years go by without telling him, and with each passing year, it had only gotten harder.

  That morning, I had thought a lot about my father. His passing away had had a huge effect on me. It wasn’t as if we were even close. We were, but not in a regular father and daughter sort of way. He loved me. I loved him. But I had never fully agreed with his lifestyle. He’d been head of XMC, a notorious motorcycle club that had been running for way too many years.

  It had all started out as a joke. My father, and a few of his friends, had splintered off from the one of the big motorcycle clubs in the area to form their own. They’d only done it because they’d been stubborn and had endured far too many arguments with the president of the club. My father was not someone that took kindly to people telling him what to do, and he had always hated all the rules and regulations of the club. What he wanted, more than anything, was to run his own club and to make his own rules. The two clubs had been at war for a very long time. The one was fighting to prove themselves to the public, desperate to make a good name for themselves, while the other wanted to do the exact opposite. I’d always wished that I was a part of my father’s original club, but I had always known that would be impossible. All family members of XMC were part of the club by default, and there was no way to escape it. For years I’ve walked around with a heavy heart and a fake smile, pretending as if I didn’t mind at all.

  And then, my father died. My father, the one man that I had both looked up to and looked down on my whole life, had suddenly vanished from my life. It was an unsettling feeling. I loved him, and in many ways, I had admired his resolve when going after what he wanted, but it didn’t mean I agreed with him. I’d always wanted to get away from XMC, and having a child had only fueled that desire. My father had wanted me to get out too. But he knew that as long as he was a part of the club, I was stuck there too. And no matter how much he loved me, he was not ever going to leave that club. When he
’d died of an unexpected heart attack, it had left me feeling bewildered and confused. I knew that I had to get out of the club while I had my chance. I also knew that I had to find Axel.

  I was nervous to leave the club. As much as I didn’t agree with their ways, I had grown very accustomed to the place. I knew that they would protect me at all costs, and that was something that was very hard to get away from. But I wanted a new life and a fresh start, and I wanted my son to grow up in a different environment. At six years old, he had already seen and heard too much. There was only so much that I could shelter him from.

  A week before my father had passed away, he had taken me out for lunch. He seemed different that day. Looking back, I think he must’ve known that he was ill. But at the time, I hadn’t known anything, and I’d wondered why he was acting so strange with me. He kept talking about my future and talking about Bobby, my son.

  “How old is he now?” he asked.

  I had laughed because my father was so terrible with ages. He even got my own age wrong all the time, and I was constantly correcting him.

  “He’s six, dad. Can you believe it?”

  “Six? Wow, time flies. Time flies,” he said. There was a sadness in his voice when he said this, and I had frowned at him.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked. He was not a very emotional man, and I wasn’t used to hearing him talk this way. It made me feel very uncomfortable.

  “He’s a good boy,” he said.

  “He’s the best. Most definitely the best thing that has ever happened to me. I wouldn’t have said that when I found out I was pregnant, but now I couldn’t imagine my life without him.”

  “That’s how I felt about you. When your mom passed away, oh it was the hardest thing I have ever been through. But you were the one that kept me going. I stayed alive because of you.”

  “I miss mom,” I said. She’d died a long time ago, so we could now talk about her without me bursting into tears.