Fallen

by Natasha Grace

  Despite the effort, they hadn’t visited much because they hadn’t felt comfortable at the house. In truth, it had been Jason they hadn’t been comfortable with. Because they’d had no problem staying with her after Jason had died. While he’d never been rude to them, he’d never gone out of his way to make them feel at ease, either. He was always talking about places and things they couldn’t afford.

  And the food!

  Her guilt intensified when she remembered one particular instance where her parents had just poked at their food all night. The menu had been in French, so they’d decided to go with the waiter’s recommendation, which had turned out to be pig’s feet. When she’d confided in Jason afterwards, he’d said that they should’ve asked the waiter what certain items were or ordered something off the menu. It had seemed so reasonable at the time, but she now realized what a pushover she’d been.

  She should’ve put her foot down when she’d realized that Jason was always picking restaurants her parents hadn’t been comfortable eating at, but she hadn’t wanted to pick a fight—especially when he’d been the one paying. It had been the same way with all the house renovations as well. She hadn’t wanted to make something out of nothing especially when they still had a lot of space.

  “It’s the biggest donation we’ve ever gotten,” Jim said, drawing her attention back to the present. “Even if we only get half of the cars’ value at the auction, it would still be enough to cover all of our expenses for a year.”

  It was a good thing she hadn’t given into temptation and keyed the cars Jason had loved so much after she’d found his phone. She wouldn’t have been able to donate any of them or everyone would’ve seen how she’d truly felt about her husband.

  At first, she’d thought about giving the cars to her father–in–law. But considering that Jason had died in a car crash, she hadn’t thought it appropriate. Besides, most of the charities she’d chosen to donate to were ones Jason had supported. She was sure his parents would approve.

  Some petty part of her didn’t want to further support the charities Jason had been involved in, but she knew that it’d be wrong. Just because he’d slept with someone on one charity’s board didn’t mean that that was his MO. Besides, she couldn’t punish a whole charity because of one person’s actions, especially when they were doing so much good in the community.

  “And judging from the calls we’ve been getting, this is sure to be our biggest auction ever,” Jim continued. “People are already calling for the pre–qualifications.”

  “That’s great. I’m happy that the cars will be put to good use.”

  “Well, we better get going.” He unclipped a paper from his pad and handed it to her. “Here’s the receipt for the donation, though I’m sure Connie will be sending an itemized list for the year in February.”

  “Thank you.”

  “No. Thank you,” he said as he hugged the pad to his chest. “You don’t know how much this donation means. The children…” As if he were having a hard time finding the words, he shook his head.

  She smiled. “Just giving those children a place to hang out after school is more thanks than enough.” She didn’t know what she and her sister would’ve done if it hadn’t been for community centers like the one this charity ran. Since both of their parents had had full–time jobs, she and her sister had gone to their local community center every day after school. Not only had the center provided them a safe place to stay until their parents picked them up, it had been a second home to them.

  As Jim left to join the guys who were talking by the truck, she turned and caught sight of the small stream running through the Japanese garden and suddenly realized how much she was going to miss all of this. It was like having a whole private park in the back of her house. She loved taking walks out here after dinner and enjoyed reading outside when she had the chance.

  She frowned when she realized that her backyard was bigger than the park her mom used to take her and her sister to when they’d been younger. Holy, she’d been spoiled. Perhaps moving back to the city would be good for her in more ways than one.

  She heard the sound of a car approach and turned to see Nina drive up. “What are you doing here?” Sam asked as soon as Nina got out of the car. Though she was happy to see her friend, it was quite a drive for her—especially with all the traffic.

  “I need to borrow a dress. Andrew is coming—”

  “Say no more,” Sam said as she held her hand up. Though she’d never met Nina’s boyfriend, Sam had heard enough about him in recent weeks to make her like him already.

  Relief shone in Nina’s eyes. “Thanks,” she murmured as she hugged her. “You’re a lifesaver.”

  “You should’ve asked me to take some dresses to my apartment,” Sam said as they separated. “It would’ve saved you the trip.”

  “I know, but I feel bad enough about always raiding your closet.” Nina shrugged. “I would offer you a pick of mine, but it’s like a thrift shop compared to yours. Besides, I would’ve missed these hot studs.” She lowered her sunglasses and watched as the men closed the truck. Sam laughed. The woman had no shame.

  “They’re picking up two of Jason’s cars for a charity auction,” she explained.

  Nina’s head whipped around. “Wait—you’re giving two of them away?”

  “I gave them all away.” She didn’t want to have anything to do with Jason.

  Nina removed her sunglasses. “I hate to break it to you, Sam, but Jason probably lied about the prices of some of those cars. I don’t think he ever spent less than half a million on any of them.”

  “I’m not really thinking about that right now,” Sam said, hoping that she didn’t sound like one of those rich wives who never considered the cost of anything. Though Nina was a successful lawyer, one of those cars was easily five times her annual salary.

  Nina squeezed her arm. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

  Damn. She hadn’t meant to make her friend feel bad. “It’s fine,” she quickly said. “And thank you for telling me. I’ll keep that in mind when I go through the rest of his stuff,” she lied.

  “How have you been?” Nina asked as she grabbed her hand.

  The look of concern had Sam stiffening. She wasn’t up for another round of people trying to console her by saying nice things about Jason. Ever since she’d found out about the cheating and had decided to keep quiet about it, she’d felt as if she were living a lie. People were still offering their condolences and extolling his virtues while all she wanted to do was rail at him for being a lying, cheating ass.

  But revealing the truth would hurt Jason’s parents and she couldn’t do that. They’d always treated her like a member of the family and they’d loved their only son. She would never do anything to taint their memories of him.

  “Okay,” Sam said. “How’s Miranda?” she deflected.

  “Don’t even get me started on my sister. She’s decided to move to L.A., because her boyfriend—her boyfriend of two weeks, mind you—got a job there. She can really be such a—” Nina’s grip suddenly tightened, and Sam noticed that her friend was looking at something behind her. She turned to see Jim getting in the truck.

  “Hmm… I wonder if they do pickups for books.”

  “You can check.” Sam laughed as she showed her friend the donation receipt with the charity’s name and information on the top. “Though I think Andrew might mind.”

  “Hmph! Sometimes I wonder if he even really cares about me. He barely calls when he’s out of town.”

  Sam’s first thought was that he was married before she cursed herself for jumping to conclusions. Just because Jason was a cheater didn’t mean that everyone else was as well. Besides, knowing Nina, she was sure that her friend had run every possible search on her boyfriend after their first date. She would’ve noticed if he was married or if there were photos of him with another woman.

  “He’s probably busy,” Sam finally said. Hopefully, Andrew deserved the benefit of the doubt. Nin
a didn’t deserve to have her heart broken again.

  The truck started, and the two men waved as they drove by. Nina inhaled sharply. “Those dimples!”

  Sam rolled her eyes. “Didn’t you break up with an accountant last year because he had dimples?”

  “Because they didn’t work on him. Not like Mr. Wowzers over there. Holy.” Nina fanned herself. “I can’t believe dimples could look so hot on a man.”

  They were good–looking men, but they had nothing on Luke. They were boyishly handsome where Luke was all man, thin where Luke was all muscle… She inwardly groaned. She had to stop thinking about him. She was in no shape to be in a relationship, and Luke wouldn’t be the right man for her even if she were ready.

  He had that dark and brooding thing down pat. Along with his wealth, he was someone women would be all over, and she just didn’t have it in her to go through all of that again. She didn’t want to have to wonder if he was with another woman every time he was stuck at work. And while she knew that Luke wasn’t the type to cheat, he didn’t do long–term relationships, either. He’d tire of her before she knew it and then, where would she be?

  “Come on. Let’s go find you a dress,” Sam said, hoping to get her mind off the road it was veering towards. She knew that her trusting nature was what had gotten her into this position in the first place, but she hated how cynical she was becoming. “Thanks for all your help, Charles,” she said to her chauffeur as they passed by.

  “It’s no problem, ma’am,” he said as he tipped his hat at her.

  Sam opened the front door of the house and headed up the marble staircase. A feeling of emptiness seemed to surround the house, and she suddenly realized that the emptiness had always been there. She just hadn’t wanted to recognize it.

  Even with everything still there, the house felt more like a model than a home. It was devoid of any personal touches and just seemed so clinical. It was almost as if they hadn’t lived there… Her throat tightened at the thought that she’d tolerated such a void existence. Worse, she’d convinced herself that she’d been happy.

  “Well, this is new,” Nina said as they passed a sketch of Central Station. “Wait—did the paintings go to charity, too?”

  “No. I loaned them to a museum.” It’d never seemed fair that they’d gotten to enjoy all those masterpieces themselves, so she’d loaned them to a museum so that others could enjoy them as well. The museum had been so appreciative that they’d given her some originals done by an up–and–coming local artist.

  “That was nice of you,” Nina said. “I’m sure a lot of art students will be excited at the opportunity to see the originals.”

  “I hope so. It had always been Jason’s plan to donate the paintings eventually, but then I heard about the Picasso exhibition.” She’d consult Jason’s mom about what to do with the paintings before the loan period expired. As someone who sat on the board of trustees of a museum, Jessica would know what was best for the paintings instead of just looking at them as a tax deduction the way Jason would’ve.

  They walked into her bedroom and Nina squealed as she ran towards the open closet. “That red dress is gorgeous.”

  Ten minutes later, Sam watched as Nina twisted and turned in front of the mirror to see if the red dress she was wearing made her butt look big. Sam guessed this was one good thing that had come out of her marriage—getting to loan Nina clothes. Since Jason had never wanted her to wear the same dress twice, she had plenty to share.

  “So Jason must’ve had everything in order for you to be able to put the house up for sale so quickly,” Nina said as she faced the mirror again and patted the dress.

  Though she knew that there were women who would’ve loved to have a rich, dead husband and no one fighting for a share of the pie, Sam would’ve rather not have gone through it at all. She’d much rather have a marriage like the one her parents had, where they loved each other unconditionally.

  Nina looked stricken and quickly turned towards her. “Oh, gosh. I’m really making a muck of this again, aren’t I?”

  Sam shook her head. “No. You’re right. Jason was very thoughtful to have a trust set up so that nothing went into probate.” It was the only right thing he had done. “I don’t even want to think about what would’ve happened if he hadn’t.”

  She sighed as she looked down at the floor. “He was cheating on me,” she admitted in a soft voice.

  She hadn’t been planning on telling Nina, but she found that she didn’t like lying to her closest friend. And in the back of her head, she knew that it wasn’t just Jason’s parents she was worried about if the truth came out. She was worried about herself as well.

  Sure, the media could make her life a living hell, but she was more concerned about what her friends and family would think of her. Many people had thought that she’d been marrying above herself when she’d married Jason. If she admitted that Jason had been cheating on her, they’d probably think that she’d gotten what she deserved for choosing money over love, not knowing or even caring that she’d loved Jason.

  “Oh, honey,” Nina said as she joined her on the bed and hugged her. “That’s why you left the company, wasn’t it? And why you’re selling the house.”

  Sam’s throat tightened as she nodded. She just wanted a clean break.

  “That bastard!” Nina said. “I don’t know how you stopped yourself from scratching his cars.”

  Laughter bubbled inside of Sam, and she was suddenly glad she’d told her friend the truth.

  Nina grew serious. “He didn’t deserve you. You know that, don’t you?”

  “I know, but it’s just so hard to swallow sometimes.” When she’d come back to the house after a week of staying at the hotel, she’d looked at Jason’s phone again and had been sick when she’d seen just how many women Jason had been seeing. What’s worse was the realization that she’d had to get herself tested. Though she was thankfully clean, she couldn’t help but feel as if Jason hadn’t cared about her at all.

  “There’s nothing to think about,” Nina said. “There are men who will cheat regardless of who they’re with, just because they can.”

  “I think it’s just hard that I can’t talk to him about it. It’s like I can never get closure.” Instead, she was filled with questions. Had he been planning on divorcing her? Or had he been content seeing other people behind her back? Did she or any of those other women actually mean anything to him? Or was his cheating only about his ego? Though the answers didn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things, she still wanted to know.

  “Sometimes, revenge is better than closure.”

  Remembering the revenge Nina had gotten on a boyfriend she’d caught cheating on her, Sam smiled. Nina had hired someone to come over to the apartment she and Paul had shared to beat Paul’s high score on a video game while he’d been out. Afterwards, she’d simply put her name beside the high–score, gotten her things, and left. Later, she’d sublet her half of the apartment to a co–worker who loved to expound about how violent video games were a threat to society.

  “Too bad you already gave all his cars away,” Nina continued. “It would’ve been fun to take a bat to one of them.” She snapped her fingers suddenly. “Hey—how about sleeping with a competitor?” she asked as she looked at her. When Sam raised her eyebrows, Nina’s shoulders slumped. “Yeah. I didn’t think so, either. They’re probably all old and ugly anyway.” Her head rose. “Hey—how about going to a club? We haven’t done that in ages.”

  “Because we’re getting too old for clubbing,” Sam said wryly. She couldn’t even remember the last time she’d gone to a club.

  “That’s a load of bull. You know that we can never be too old for clubbing.”

  Sam smiled. “Thanks for the offer, but I still have a lot to do here.” She didn’t want to have to make any more trips to the house than she had to. “Let’s go out next week, so I can hear all about your date with Andrew.”

  Nina’s thirst for revenge served as a rem
inder that Sam was the injured party. She often forgot that and found herself thinking about all the things she’d done wrong. Her parents had raised her to take responsibility for her actions and decisions, and that’s exactly what she’d been doing. In spades. But Nina had reminded her that Jason had treated her love and loyalty as though it’d been nothing and Sam would do well to remember that.

  “I'm sure I’ll be calling you sooner than that, but okay. That works. Now, about that green dress…”

  Chapter Eleven

  Luke let his shoulders relax as he wrapped up the weekly meeting between the portfolio managers and the analysts. Thankfully, today’s meeting had gone better than the ones from previous weeks. The fresh influx of money had really boosted the people’s morale.

  “I should have the report sent to you by five o’clock,” Ross told him.

  “I appreciate it,” Luke said as he stood. He glanced around and saw that most of the people had already left the meeting room. In the five weeks since Sam had left, they’d been able to pull in a few new investors and had managed to mitigate more of the risk Jason’s overleveraging had caused. The company still wasn’t on the stable ground Luke preferred, but things were definitely looking better. He opened the glass door to let Ross exit first.

  Chris approached him as he was about to follow. “You’re not seriously going to give Sam’s office to Dean, are you?” the junior manager asked, and Luke sighed. There was a time when people had cornered him to ask for a promotion or for more money to manage, but nowadays, all people seemed to want was either Jason’s or Sam’s office.

  “I haven’t decided what I’m going to do with Sam’s and Jason’s offices yet,” he answered. Though he knew they weren’t coming back, it just didn’t feel right to give either of their offices away. To him, the rooms would always be theirs.

  And deep down, he was still hoping Sam would come back. He understood her reasons for leaving, but he also knew how much she loved working at the company. She’d miss it sooner or later and when she did, he wanted to be ready.