Fallen

by Natasha Grace

  Groaning, he buried his face into her shoulder and followed.

  * * *

  “Let’s go somewhere this weekend,” Luke said as they were cuddling a little later. “How about Martha’s Vineyard? We could take the jet and hire a different pilot to keep it all under wraps.”

  Sam was on the verge of saying yes when she frowned. It was just so easy being with Luke and she knew that if she let things continue on as they were, she would soon find herself in love. It was why Adam’s call earlier had messed her up so much. She’d thought she and Luke had a good thing going on and she hadn’t been ready to stop.

  “I’m actually going to help my sister out with a field trip,” she suddenly decided. Her sister had complained about the lack of parents who’d signed up to supervise the field trip this weekend in her email today. Sam had thought about helping out but hadn’t wanted to cut her time with Luke short.

  But maybe some time away from him would do her some good. She needed to get her head on straight—to remind herself that there was more to life than just Luke, that what she had with him was just temporary—a fling. And perhaps to remind herself not to get so lost in someone again that she neglected her friends and family.

  “I was going to tell you a while ago, but I forgot.”

  “Of course,” he said, but she could almost feel his disappointment.

  Guilt bit at her, but she shoved it ruthlessly away. She had to protect herself.

  She smiled as she turned towards him. “Maybe next time?” She loved the idea of going somewhere with him. Maybe too much. “What were you thinking?”

  His hold on her tightened. “Our own private cottage, walks along the beach, and sex. Lots and lots of sex.”

  “No clams?”

  “I’ll buy you a whole shack.”

  “Mmm… I like the sound of that.” It sounded like the perfect getaway. She wished she could give in and say yes, but she couldn’t afford to. She’d fallen for Luke and was dangerously close to losing herself in him.

  She could already see herself dropping everything to be with him the way she had with Jason, because she wanted to spend all her time with him. But her friends and family deserved more than that and until she knew how to handle her priorities better, she couldn’t take this next step with Luke.

  “I know what else you like.” His eyes darkened as he moved over her and she soon lost all train of thought.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “I picked this flower for you. It’s yellow like your dress.”

  Sam’s heart softened as she bent down and took the sunflower the young girl was giving her. With ponytails and big eyes, the girl was just adorable.

  “Thank you. It’s beautiful.”

  The kid smiled shyly before going off to join the rest of her group in the scavenger hunt. Sam’s chest tightened as she straightened and watched the children circle a tree before heading towards another one. Would she ever have children?

  She’d always thought she would, but now she wasn’t so sure. Since she didn’t want a child of hers to grow up without two parents, she’d have to get married and she wasn’t sure she ever wanted to go through that again.

  Luke would make a good parent.

  She inwardly groaned when she realized the direction of her thoughts. What they had was a fling. She’d be gravely disappointed if she began thinking about love and marriage. Though she knew Luke cared about her, she doubted it was anywhere near love and wasn’t sure if it would ever be. Besides, he’d never talked about making things more permanent between them.

  “Thanks so much for doing this again,” Cindy said as she approached. “I swear, at least two fathers and a teacher signed up for the camp just because of you.”

  “Because of me?” Sam asked, surprised.

  Cindy grinned. “You haven’t noticed the men offering to carry your bag or to help pitch your tent?”

  Sam groaned. “I thought they were just trying to make me feel welcomed, you know? Because I’m not a parent or a teacher.” She felt so stupid.

  “I’m sorry, Sam. I would’ve told them that you weren’t interested, but I needed the help. The camping trip would’ve been cancelled if we didn’t get enough adults signed on and the kids worked so hard on the fundraising. I didn’t want to disappoint them. The men are still pigs though. Can you imagine—hitting on a woman just months after her husband dies? I can’t believe—”

  “I’ve started seeing someone,” Sam admitted before Cindy went too far. It wasn’t the best way to break the news, but she didn’t want her sister thinking she was something she wasn’t.

  “You… Wait, you what?”

  “I started seeing someone. It’s not something that either of us planned, it just…” Not knowing what to say, she shrugged.

  “Is it serious?” Cindy asked after a moment.

  “I think I’m falling for him,” Sam admitted. She’d thought that she could keep her feelings in check, but she was doing an awful job of it.

  “And the guy? Does he feel the same?”

  She was about to say no when she remembered how much Luke had cut his hours at the office since he’d started seeing her. Harkin had always been Luke’s priority and yet, he was willing to take time off to be with her. And not only that, she was probably the longest relationship he’d ever had.

  “I know he feels something,” Sam finally said. “I’m just not sure what.”

  “Oh, my goodness—it’s Luke, isn’t it?” Cindy asked as she grabbed Sam’s wrist. “That’s why you were saying all those nice things about him when we went to the show!” Surprised that Cindy had guessed correctly, Sam nodded, and Cindy continued, “I can’t believe this. I mean, this is you. You don’t jump from guy to guy. How did this happen? How long has it been going on?”

  Sam was about to admit everything about Jason before she stopped. What would Cindy think of her? Their parents had always taught them that it was what was on the inside that mattered and yet, Sam had let herself be caught up in Jason and the glitz and the glamour of his world. Though she doubted her sister would judge her, she was ashamed—especially when she wasn’t sure she would’ve ever realized how empty her life had become if she hadn’t found Jason’s phone and seen the texts. She’d like to think that she would’ve eventually, but she wasn’t completely convinced.

  “A few months.”

  “It must really be serious then. Doesn’t he have a two–date maximum policy? And you,” she said, pointing accusingly at her. “You never do anything less than serious. The shortest relationship you ever had was Ben, who you were with for two years.”

  Sam frowned at the realization that her sister was right. Had she just been fooling herself, thinking that she could have a fling? Or had that been her excuse to be with Luke?

  “Not that that’s a bad thing,” Cindy quickly added. “You’re just that type of a person.”

  “How do you feel about Luke?” Sam asked hesitantly, glad to finally be able to talk to someone about him. When she analyzed financials, she always listened to her gut, but at the end of the day, she had real numbers to back her up. She didn’t have that luxury when it came to relationships. It was all gut and instincts, and look how well that turned out.

  “Oh, no. I’m not getting into this.”

  “Please? I promise not to hold anything against you, and I definitely won’t tell Luke.” She wasn’t even supposed to tell anyone about their relationship.

  “Fine,” her younger sister said as she crossed her arms. “I know you were always complaining about him, but he’s always been nice to me. Not to mention that he’s always been respectful to Mom and Dad.”

  Was that a dig about Jason? That he hadn’t been as nice and respectful?

  “He just seems real, you know? You don’t feel as if he’s putting on a show, though I sometimes did wonder. It seemed as if you were always saying something bad about him, but I could never see it in his behavior.”

  “I misjudged him,” Sam admitted. She was still
ashamed of how she’d called him a liar when, in fact, he’d been the best of friends.

  “I’ll say. I still can’t believe—”

  “Ms. Johnson! Ms. Johnson!” one of the children interrupted her. “We finished the list! We won!”

  Sam looked and saw a group of children, including the girl who’d given her the flower, quickly running towards them. “We won!”

  Cindy pointed at her. “This isn’t over,” she said before she turned towards the children. “Good job! Now, let’s go check to make sure we have everything.”

  Even though Cindy’s words slightly intimidated her, Sam was enormously relieved to have finally told someone about Luke. And not only that, her sister thought Luke was a decent man. That had to count for something.

  * * *

  “Did you see Ham’s CEO being interviewed today?” Sam asked as she moved her cell phone to her other ear and settled into her chair a week later. “The man couldn’t even meet the reporter’s eyes.”

  Luke laughed. “I wouldn’t be able to, either, if I were him. He doctored the financials for almost his entire run as CEO.”

  “I’m still surprised at how long it went undetected.” There had been at least two analysts who’d issued warnings about the company a few years ago, but nothing had really happened until a well–known investor sounded the alarm after he’d shorted the stock.

  “That’s what happens when no one has the incentive to do the right thing. The management was pocketing their high salaries and the shareholders and the accountants were making bank.”

  “I know I should probably be immune to this by now, but sometimes the greed of these people really surprises me,” Sam admitted. It wasn’t like it was just the CEO’s doing. The accountants and the auditors had been in on the scheme as well and as a former accountant, it really bothered her how some people could be bought.

  “I know what you mean. These accounting firms are putting their names on the line to make just a little bit more money. It’s like they’ve learned nothing from the whole Rixel scandal. Sorry, Sam. Sheila is flagging me. I’ll see you tonight.”

  Sam smiled as she put the phone down and turned on her computer. Hopefully, she could finish the review of the oil company she’d started on this morning before Luke came over. There was a hardware chain in the Northeast she was hoping to look into tomorrow.

  She was just writing an email to the investor relations department of the oil company about one of the items on their balance sheet an hour later when the doorbell rang.

  “It’s me,” she heard Nina’s voice.

  Surprised, Sam stood and headed towards the door. Nina was usually at work this time of day. She glanced at the video screen by the door and saw her friend smiling and bobbing up and down, looking as if she were ready to burst. Bemused, Sam hurried.

  “I’m engaged!” Nina said the moment Sam opened the door. Her friend beamed as she held her hand, showing her a ring with a big solitaire diamond in the middle. “Andrew proposed last night.”

  “Oh, my goodness. Congratulations!” Sam said as she hugged her friend.

  “Thanks,” Nina said as they broke apart. “I still can’t believe it. His voice was really distant when he invited me over. I was worried he was going to break up with me, and then this!” She beamed as she held up her hand again. “It was so romantic,” she continued as she walked into the apartment. “I went to his hotel room and there were flowers and candles and music…” As if still in a daze, Nina plopped down on the leather couch.

  “I’m so happy for you!” Sam said as she joined her friend. And she was. There was no one she knew who deserved this more. Her friend had had some pretty shitty boyfriends. It was a relief she’d finally found a good one. Sam just wished she’d met the guy before he proposed. The fact that she hadn’t drove home just how much she’d missed in letting herself get absorbed in Jason. Jason had still been alive when Nina had started seeing Andrew. If Sam hadn’t given up their weekly dinners because of her busy schedule with Jason, she was sure she would’ve met Andrew by now.

  “Let’s go out and celebrate,” she said, hoping to remedy the situation as soon as possible.

  “I’m sorry, Sam, but I can’t. I have to go pack. I was just so excited I had to tell you in person.”

  “Pack? Where are you going?” Her friend occasionally had to go out of town to meet with a client or to be near the courthouse. There were times it wasn’t even all that far, but things could get so hectic sometimes that it just made more sense to stay in a hotel than to manage the commute to and from her apartment.

  “Oh, no. This isn’t a case. I’m going to Washington to meet his parents this weekend and then I’m coming back to put in my two weeks and then I’ll be off for good.”

  “You’re moving to Washington?” Sam asked, surprised. Though it wasn’t Washington State, Washington, D.C. was still miles away. She wouldn’t be seeing her friend as often as she’d hoped.

  “Yeah. It’s not like he could move here,” Nina said, and Sam nodded understandingly. Andrew had a small metal fabrication company in D.C. It wouldn’t make sense for him to move to New York. But still… Sam couldn’t help but remember how happy Nina had been to get her promotion and now she was throwing it all away for a man?

  In the back of her head, she knew that it was what had happened with Jason that was making her feel this way, and she forced the negative thoughts away. Just because she’d lost herself in marriage didn’t mean that Nina would as well.

  “I’m going to miss you,” Sam said as she grabbed her friend’s hand. At least she could visit her often. Now that she wasn’t working at Harkin, she definitely had the time to.

  “I’m going to miss you, too,” Nina murmured as she hugged her. “It sucks. It feels like we just got back together and now this happened!”

  “I’ll make sure to visit you.”

  “Thanks, and you know that I’ll visit you as often as I can.” Nina looked at her watch, then stood. “Now, I really need to get going. Andrew is picking me up at three. I’ll call you when I get back.”

  A niggling doubt crept into Sam’s head as she closed the door. Though she was happy for her friend, she couldn’t help but wonder if she would ever be as happy as Nina was. Surprisingly, she wasn’t balking at the idea of marriage as she would’ve a few months ago, and she knew the reason for that was Luke.

  He’d caught her unaware and she was beginning to suspect she wouldn’t mind marriage if it was with Luke.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Luke groaned as Sam nibbled his neck. He got a brief glimpse of her sexy smile as she pulled away before she trailed kisses down his chest, sending sparks of electricity coursing through him.

  His head lightened at the direction she was heading. He loved it when she took him in her mouth. Her hands ran greedily over him, and he couldn’t help but smile at the thought that she enjoyed his body as much as he enjoyed hers. He wanted the desire to be mutual, for her to want him as much as he wanted her.

  She brushed against his hardness before she took him into her hand and stroked lightly. Her eyes met his and the mixture of lust and playfulness in them had him smiling. Knowing what she wanted, he started, “Please—”

  “Luke!”

  His heart stopped at the sound of his mother’s voice. Sam froze, her eyes widening. Could his mom have worse timing? Though, admittedly, if his mom came to visit his apartment while he was there, there was a big chance he would be in bed with Sam. He bolted out of the bed and shut the door, making sure to lock it. He went back to Sam, at a loss for what to say.

  “How do you turn this thing on?” he heard his father say and figured he was trying to turn on the television.

  “Here.” His brother’s voice filled the air then the sound of a business channel came on before it was quickly changed into a sports one. Of course. Sunday football. Some things never changed.

  “It’s my parents, my brother, and possibly, my sister,” he whispered to Sam. She started to d
ress, so he did the same. “I gave them access to the elevator.”

  “And they just come by unexpectedly?” she asked as she straightened and looked at him. “What if you have someone over?”

  “It’s not like I make it a habit of bringing women here,” he said as he ran a hand through his hair. Not only did he not have the time, he’d always hated that sense of disgust that had filled him afterward. Though it wasn’t as if he’d been hoping Sam would come around and see him as someone other than her husband’s friend, he couldn’t stop comparing the women to Sam and had always found them lacking.

  “Besides, my parents usually call first,” he continued. He groaned at the realization that they had, most likely, called, but since he’d turned off his cell phone and disconnected his apartment phone last night before Sam had come over, he hadn’t gotten the calls.

  “Come on,” he murmured after he’d put his pants on. The faster they went out there, the faster he and Sam could get back to what they were doing.

  “Wait. I can’t go out there.” She looked horrified at the prospect.

  Frowning, he straightened. “What do you mean you—Oh.” His stomach dropped at the realization that she didn’t want to see his parents. They already knew her, but as Jason’s wife—not as the woman he loved, and he was caught off guard by how much he wanted his family to know about them. His mom was always nagging him about meeting the right woman, and he knew his father wanted him settled down as well. He wished he could tell them that he had.

  But had he?

  He knew that Sam was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, but even after everything they’ve been through, she still insisted on keeping their relationship a secret. Doubt that she wasn’t as committed to the relationship as he was surfaced before he pushed it back. He would make it work between them.

  “I’m sorry,” Sam said as she shook her head. “But you know how bad it would look for the both of us.”

  He understood where she was coming from, but he didn’t give a damn. Hell, they weren’t doing anything wrong. They were two uncommitted adults, enjoying each other’s company.